Dear Jeno, 

I'm so glad you didn't see how silly I looked when I first grabbed your letter out of that envelope. I'm sure my bill was barely legible; I never wanted to get out of The Sign of the Dove more. I wanted to read your answer in private. I was terrified you'd tell me you wanted me gone forever, and no matter what, I didn't want to embarrass you. 

I'm even more glad you didn't see me when I read your response. Honestly, I was shaking so much I could barely read it, but when I knew you felt the same...I can't explain it. Somehow, I was both relieved and burning with even more excitement than before. I don't think I've felt that alive since I was a little boy. 

I wish I could act cooler around you. Being around you makes me feel shy and foolish; it takes everything inside me to remain normal. To me, it's amazing that you feel the same as I do, when I'm totally incapable of putting on the suave charm I normally can. That's normally how I win people over. Maybe that's why I like you so much, because you like me anyways. 

Am I moving too fast? Probably. But I hope you just take it to mean I'm excited. And I hope it's endearing to you. 

Tell me more about you next time. From the short conversations we had, I can tell you're an incredibly interesting person. I'm begging you to blab about yourself.

I don't think my future has ever looked brighter, Jeno. I can't wait to see where you and I go.

Sincerely,

Jaemin

P.S. Here is my address. I don't want you risking anything by giving me another letter at work. It should be safe to mail them here:

PO Box 127

1000 West Heights Avenue

Freeport, SD 23897

Jeno clutched the letter, written in shaky, hurried handwriting to his chest, wearing the biggest of smiles on his lips. 

It had been a day since he'd received this second letter, the response to his response, and Jeno felt beautifully pathetic; it had become tradition for him to reread the letters every night. His grin stretched from ear to ear, even alone in his apartment, just letting his eyes scan over the words. His heart thrummed in his chest and he let his fingers graze over the words, as close to touching Jaemin himself as he could get, for the moment.

1000 West Heights Avenue.

Jeno ran his eyes over the address Jaemin had given him. Of course Jaemin had rented a PO box for the occasion; it made sense, but that West Heights post office must have been the closest one to his house. It was almost ironic that it was on the other side of town, the nice side of town with tree-lined blocks and real-life mansions and boutiques selling specialty wine and twenty-dollar loaves of bread. 

But Jeno could still see him there; he could envision Jaemin in one of those West Heights mansions, his perfectly quaffed hair and maybe wearing a loose button-up and nice pants? And some loafers? Whatever old money people wore when they were being casual, the way that would make your heart beat in a movie. Maybe he'd be in a library-like study of some sort, hurriedly writing these letters with shaking fingers. Jeno had even changed his bike route, instead of riding through the park, West Heights became his destination, slowly biking along the avenue, peeking up into the high-class windows for maybe, possibly, a glimpse of the man becoming his. 

Jeno shook his head, sitting up and slipping the letters into his bedside drawer, their special place where nothing else he owned belonged. He went to his desk, looking down at his unlocked phone: it was his own answer to Jaemin's second letter. He'd taken a picture of it before he mailed it out (which he knew was weird, but wasn't sure how to resist the urge), seeing as it was his first mailed-out letter he'd ever written. Just to make sure it was perfect, Jeno picked it up, giving it a glance one last time. 

Dear Jaemin, 

You should've seen me when I got your letter. I swear to god, it felt like I was high for an entire twenty-four hours after. It almost felt fake and I was terrified, but getting your answer shows me that saying yes was probably the best thing I've ever done. 

Don't worry Jaemin. If you think you're not being charming and suave with me, I can't imagine how you are with other people. You're like a suit-wearing guy from a movie; I've never met anyone like you in real life before. But you don't have to put on an act or image with me. Shy Jaemin is very cute ;)

Hmm...me. I don't know how I convinced you that I'm interesting, but I'm not. I had a good childhood, I mean, I'm close with my parents. I was popular in school and I played sports. I started working part-time at restaurants in high school and when I graduated, I realized college wasn't really my thing, and that I liked working in restaurants, so I just stuck with it, and worked my way up to the Sign of the Dove. Some people looked down on me for not going to college or getting a traditional job, but whatever. I like the hours, but it's always nice to put a smile on people's faces when you give them the food they asked for. Sometimes, a person's waiter is the only person in their lives who listens to them and gives them what they want.

Mostly I just like to exercise, go in nature, ride my bike or play sports. I play video games too, but I think most guys our age do. I'm pretty new to Freeport so I don't have too many friends here yet, but normally I like to hang out a lot too. 

It's your turn now. I'm sure you're way more interesting than me. I mean, come on. 

It's okay to move fast. I'm moving with you. 

Jeno.

He didn't have the same sort of elegant prose as Jaemin, but this was the best he could do. And yes, physically writing out an emoticon was completely necessary. Jaemin seemed to like him anyway. So Jeno locked his phone, smiled, and hurriedly got up. He slipped into flip-flops and slammed the door behind him, forgetting to lock it. It was time to check the mail. 

Jaemin and himself had a silent agreement to cool things off at the restaurant. He still came in every day, of course, but it was different: it had to be. Jeno knew Jaemin had to come in; he craved the daily sight of his face, but they couldn't talk, not really. Especially not in the way they used to before. Jeno knew that the other coworkers had their eyes on them, and anyone suspecting their relationship could be dangerous, both for Jeno's job and Jaemin's marriage. Jaemin stopped requesting Jeno as his server (although Renjun always seated Jaemin in Jeno's section unless it was full), and they talked short and small. 

Jeno made it downstairs and slipped his response into the mail slot, jangling his keys with shaking fingers as he attempted to open the ancient mailbox that desperately needed some WD-40. 

Nothing but a shiny Burger King, and to Jeno's relief, another letter. No return address of course. He squeaked before slapping a hand over his mouth, the security guard in the lobby giving him a look. Jeno gave him an apologetic grimace and raced back up to his studio so he could scream over Jaemin's answer in peace. 

Pieces of torn envelope scattered over Jeno's bed, of course, and the letter was revealed in no time at all. His eyes darted around the page and Jeno had to force himself to stare at the ceiling, breathe in, breathe out, so he could actually read this letter. So he could take it in the way he wanted to; the way it deserved to be. 

Dear Jeno, 

I don't think you realize how amazing you are. The fact that you ignored all of society's pressures to just do your own thing after high school is incredible, I promise. Most people do not have the courage to do their own thing, even if it is what would make them happy. The fact that you could say whatever to other people's expectations and insults is...it makes me fall harder for you; that's the only way I can explain it. Do not denigrate your life; what you've made of it is an achievement. 

My life? People seem to always think it was so eventful, but I promise, it wasn't. I'm aware that a lot of the stressors other people have are things that have never been a part of my life, so I guess that's what makes people so fascinated. 

I was always told I would work for my father's company when I grew up, and eventually take it over. Sometimes, growing up, it was hard to imagine a life outside of that. I didn't really try too hard in school; because my future was laid out for me, it didn't matter. And I followed that path. But now that I'm older I have a few ideas of my own: my mom would always take me to her charitable functions when I was young, and I wish we could somehow incorporate that more into the business now. Some of my happiest memories from childhood were helping out my mom, and seeing the smiles we would put on others' faces. So I understand what you mean about helping others.

I like sports a lot too; badminton is my favorite. We would usually exercise at home or at the country club growing up though, so I feel like I've never really done that sort of thing out in nature. I bet it's amazing. I would love to go with you sometime. 

Honestly, I sometimes have a hard time with others. I hope I don't sound like a total snob, but in school, a lot of my classmates wanted to befriend me, but I found them snooty. They would groan and grumble about our school's required volunteer hours or Christmas gifts or make fun of the scholarship students for the way they dressed, and it rubbed me the wrong way. Which is yet another reason I find you so special; it feels good and safe to talk to you. And for me, that can be a rare thing.

Well...Jeno, I miss you. I did just see you at the restaurant last night, but I miss you. I'll be back tonight, and then I'll be back at the post office, and then I'll be rereading your letters, and I'll cycle between these three places forever. Happily.

Yours, Jaemin.

Yours. Oh my god. Jaemin used the word yours. 

Jeno had never known a simple word to make him feel quite like this before.