September 4, 2018

They've been inside the restaurant for a while now at sa totoo lang sumasakit na ang pwet ni Seulgi kasi hindi pa siya nakakatayo simula pagdating niya rito. Pwede naman siyang mag excuse at sabihin na naiihi siya kaso 'di niya mabuka ang kanyang bibig or baka takot lang talaga siya sa taong nasa harap niya.

She played with the ring placed in her ring finger. The ring that holds so many strong emotions that stopped her from bursting it. The same ring that was gifted to her by a special person. Hanggang ngayon hindi siya makapaniwala na kasyang-kasya sakanya ang singsing kasi huling pagkakatanda niya ay wala na itong pakialam sakanya. Noong una akala niya'y sinwerte lang ito nang bili kasi tama ang ring size pero minsan ay hindi niya maiwasan na umasang baka may pake pa nga talaga ito sakanya. 

Siguro tuyong-tuyo na laway ko. Seulgi thought while fidgeting her tongue inside . 

She saw how this woman in front of her drink her glass of water multiple times. She just assumed na baka uhaw ito.

"Excuse me, miss?" Biglang nagsitaasan ang mga balahibo ni Seulgi sa malamig nitong boses. 

Ngayon na lang ulet kasi niya narinig ang boses nito dahil minsan na lang sila magkita dahil sa mga trabaho nila. They were both very busy and had no time for classic romance. It explains why Seulgi felt shivers running down her spine as if she was a stranger talking to another stranger for the first time.

"Bill, please." Nagulat naman si Seulgi dahil inaakala niya na tubig ang hihingin nito. 

Her date noticed how stiff she went after that. "Gusto mo bang umupo diyan habang buhay?" Coldness surrounded every word she uttered. It didn't failed to make Seulgi quiver in fear.

"Hindi..." Halos hindi na marinig ni Seulgi ang sarili niyang boses sa sobrang takot. She doesn't know why she felt so scared when she actually has no clue on what to be afraid of.

They silently waited for the bill in discomfort.

Finally!  Seulgi exlaimed to herself the moment na dumating na 'yung bill nila na sa tingin niya ay puro tubig lang ang inorder. She awkwardly observed how the attractive brunette ily put cash in it. How can someone look so while paying?! Seulgi is definitely ually frustrated. It's been months since she had ual with someone and the last time she did, she may have summoned the evil spirit of the said brunette. After that Seulgi swore to control her hormones.

Seulgi gave the bill to the waitress, who smiled at her and Seulgi, being the oblivious person that she is, smiled back at the waitress. That didn't go unnoticed by her date, who seemed to be irritated witnessing Seulgi smile for everyone but her. The oblivious girl tensed her irritation and quickly thanked her for the meal.

The good thing about their relationship is that Seulgi gets free meal everytime they go out. Noong una ay na-offend pa siya baka kasi akala ng kasintahan niya na wala siyang pambayad ngunit nalaman naman niyang ito ang love language nito. Tsaka at least hindi nababawasan ang ipon niya. 

"May gagawin ka pa ba?" Again, Seulgi felt chills. Hindi na ata nasanay ang katawan niyang magulat sa mga aksyon ng kasintahan niya. 

Ramdam na ramdam niya pagkakunot ng noo niya kasi never in a million years mong maririnig si Irene na magtanong about sa mga gagawin ni Seulgi. Never siya nagkaroon ng pake sa mga bagay about her ever since last year...pero people can change nga naman or so Seulgi thought.

Pareho silang 'di makapagsalita kasi alam na alam nilang dalawa na this is a rare moment. This is a moment na nangyayari lamang sa panaginip ni Seulgi. This is a moment na hindi niya aakalain na mangyayari. 

"Uhhh wala naman...baket?" Seulgi looked at Irene nervously. This was totally unexpected. She can't help but think that the brunette still cares for her. You can't blame Seulgi for feeling hopeful. She felt despair eat her alive everytime she sees Irene being irritated, annoyed, angry and every other negative feelings out there, especially if she's the reason behind it. 

Whenever the both of them are forced in this kind of situation they usually just ignore each other's presence and leave when they think it's time to go or in Seulgi's case, she'll wait for Irene to make the first move to leave before she depart too. This time they were tricked yet again by their friends to eat outside by thinking that they are going out with the whole squad but soon the couple was left alone to enjoy the night without the presence of their annoying friends. 

And now here they are, convinced and forced to talk to each other face-to-face. They normally talk through text only, so the idea of talking to Irene face-to-face for the first time since forever, it made Seulgi flustered.

"I really need to tell you something...important later." Her flustered face turned into an uneasy face. Seulgi just hoped na sana hindi niya ikakasakit ang sasabihin sakanya ni Irene. 

"Ok..." She tried to smile at her except that she obviously can't in times like this, when it's so nerve-racking. Hurt was evident in Irene's eyes as she caught Seulgi hold back herself from flashing a smile for her. The brunette's eyes turned cold before the latter could see that she's hurting.  

Irene stood, signaling Seulgi that it's time for them to leave. The latter let her girlfriend walk first and followed after her. Laging ganoon ang set-up nilang dalawa. Si Irene ang mauuna habang si Seulgi ay nakasunod lamang sakanya. Parang bibe lang, si Irene ang nanay at siya naman ang anak ni Irene na tamang sunod lang sa kilos ng nanay. 

Eto 'yung mga times na gustong-gusto siyang kasama ni Seulgi kasi parang ang lapit ng loob niya sakanya sa mga oras na ganito, figuratively speaking. 

The sight of her girlfriend's flawless face left her at awe. To say that Seulgi fancies Irene's beauty is an understatement. There are no words to describe how much she appreciates it.

Ang makita niya ang maamo nitong mukha na hindi nakasimangot o walang emosyon. Mga ngiti nitong umaabot hanggang mata niya na minsang pinagdasal ni Seulgi na sana ganyan rin ito pag siya na ang tinitignan ni Irene.

They continued to walk around. They might not be walking side by side but it was enough for Seulgi. To have a view of her girlfriend's smile while she appreciates the ambiance of the nature, It's more than enough for Seulgi. 

Mahilig pa din siya sa nature. Siguro ay eto lang ang hindi nagbago sa lugar na ito. Ang kakayahan ng tao na maappreciate ang kalikasan, once na makita nila ang magandang tanawin. Seulgi pondered.

They stopped at a very familiar spot and probably the most sentimal place for the both of them. The bridge. The bridge where they first exchange hellos and hindi kailanman naisip ni Seulgi that this would also be the bridge where they'll bid their last goodbyes. 

"Naaalala ko noon..." Seulgi was taken aback. She's not expecting this but she still waited for Irene to continue. 

"Palagi mo akong palihim na kinukuhaan ng litrato habang ineenjoy ko ang scenery rito. Noong mga panahon na rito tayo tatambay sa tuwing sinigawan ako ng boss ko. Dito ka tumatambay para mag-aral for your exams kasi mas sinisipag ka kapag tinuturuan kita." Irene smiled so sweetly but her eyes said the otherwise. 

She's suprised to hear Irene share those things. Seulgi never thought that Irene would still remember those days. It never crossed her mind that her girlfriend can still recall the memories they shared. Even the fact that they are here, standing above the bridge where they vowed to hold on to each other no matter what. She still can't believe it. She can't believe that she's here with Irene. Seulgi can't believe that what they vowed was broken so easily.

Seulgi clearly judged her way too hard. 

"Remember when you graduated? I kept on pestering you to come here because..." No. Seulgi refuses to remember that day. It was too good to remember. Too good that it hurts her because she knows, she knows she'll never experience the feeling again.

"Because I was planning to confess to you...turned out that you carved those words for me. 'Yung araw na nag-confess ka rin sa akin..." Natigil ang paghinga ni Seulgi. Bumigat ang dibdib nito at hindi alam ang sasabihin kay Irene. Muling bumabalik lahat ng sakit noong araw na iyon. Alalang-alala niya pa rin 'yung mukha ni Irene nang malaman nito ang tinatago niya. Mabilis na inalis ni Seulgi ang iniisip niya. Hindi niya hahayaang pangunahan nanaman siya ng emosyon.

Seulgi's eyes followed how Irene's fingers what Seulgi carved above that fence. The couple bitterly smiled as they both reminisce the past. 

Irene finally faced her. Both of them had teary eyes. Both of them know what this means and it saddens them that they'll have to go through this again. 

"I..." Akmang lalapitan na siya ni Seulgi para sana punasan ang luha niya pero pinigilan nito ang sarili niya. Hindi niya alam kung may karapatan pa ba siyang gawin iyon. 

Irene giggled at her actions. "I'm sorry, nang dahil sakin naging ganito tayo." Seulgi looked at her directly in the eyes. Longing, regret, sadness, sorrow, yearning, and grief. That's what she saw in her girlfriend's eyes. That same eyes that looked at her before with love, affection, sweetness, desire, lust, and appreciation. 

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