05.

"Happy Birthday, Heewon."

note: uh...yeah i'm back to being in love with baekhyun again

 War rushed in her veins the minute she woke up that Friday. All she remembered was that it was her precious, once-in-a-year, very special birthday. But all that her followers could talk about was Oh Sehun's new Linstagram post. Her phone had been flooded with the screenshots from a million different people ever since five in the morning and no matter how much she tried to will herself to calm down, Heewon was not sure anything was helping. The last things she wanted to feel on her birthday were anger and defeat. And she just wanted one birthday in which she wouldn't be crying by the end.

 She did not understand Sehun. What did he really want? Why was he there in the morning, sleeping against her couch like nothing went wrong in between them? She hated his audacity. He was not asking for her permission, pretending that he still had the right to give two s about her...when she was doing so much to get back at him. Heck, she even hired a fake boyfriend to hurt him and then the two guys became best friends. The frustration made her want to rip her hair off.

 Distracting herself by brushing teeth, watering her plants, exercising, all went down the drain. She couldn't help herself. The next thing she knew, she was already looking at the new pictures of her ex-boyfriend from her second account that no one knew nothing about. Throwing all her pride out of the window, she finally sat down to study the series of black and white pictures of him and his girlfriend. Of course, he didn't look like he wanted to be in those pictures but that was just how he was. Heewon knew that as a matter of fact, he was enjoying this very much. Just his face could only make two expressions: angry and not angry. 

 In the first photo, he was peacefully brushing his hair on the mirror and then Lisa violated the good picture with the disgusting happiness on her face, her phone snapping pictures of the reflection. As Heewon swiped more, the girl came closer and closer until she was hugging his waist with a huge grin on her face and the guy was smiling. That made all the happy birthdays in her inbox bland as . Why did he decide to do this on her birthday, how sick can a person be, ruining someone else's day with such pettiness?

 The caption brought her to a trembling anger. 

"You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now~"

 And there she was last night, even feeling sorry for wrestling with Sehun every time she saw him. It looked like the guy was cruising for a bruising and Heewon's fist itched to be the one to destroy his pretty face. He was just playing with her, this whole thing was a game to him. She paced around the room, wondering where did all this hate in her body come from. She was not being able to control it. Her hatred for Sehun surpassed her hatred for Lisa. Only if they were here in front of her, begging her to take them back would she be satisfied. What pissed Heewon more was the number of likes he had acquired within three hours of posting this . It was clear he was using Heewon's popularity to his own advantage. Heewon was rather surprised to find out that a lot of her devoted followers had changed sides overnight. Seemed like no one was willing to follow depressed-social-media-addicted-desperately-trying-not-to-cry-everyday girl anymore.

 "," she cursed under her breath, getting down to nicely edit one of her pictures with Baekhyun, as nicely as she could with all the bad blood bubbling under her skin. Baekhyun would remind her everyday to not post his face in any place of permanence. She could convince him to let her post his pictures on her reels at least, they lasted for a day, and he agreed after careful calculations. This was against the rules, but rules. She was dying to feel better. At least on her birthday. Heewon would convince him again. After spending almost two weeks with each other, they were both clear that he couldn't say no to her.

 There was this video of Baekhyun playing with a stray cat on their way to the campus from a bookstore. He loved animals, his eyes would turn sparkly bright at the sight of any. Even ugly lizards would get compliments from Baekhyun if they crossed paths with him. A cute cat in the shadow of a lamp post was no exception. 

 "Who is a good baby?" he asked the cat, his triangle smile on display. The cat melted against his beautiful hand as if that was the most comfortable spot it had found in years. Heewon could be heard chuckling as she took the video. "Hee, give me your hand," he said in a whisper and when she hesitated, not really into touching animals, Baekhyun took it anyway.

 "Look, this is my friend," he was still talking to the cat. As Heewon was introduced to the dirty white fur of the animal's body, she immediately grew tense. "It's okay," he kept on saying. As Heewon sat on her bed, replaying this video, trying to win a battle she didn't want to on her ing birthday, his it's okays were the only kind of comfort. Her heart calmed down. 

 It's okay, Heewon. You got this, she told herself. The sight of her hand underneath his strong, reassuring one brought her a strange kind of sadness. When he treated her like she was just another person, she felt weirdly thrilled. How pathetic of her. 

 Heewon posted the video, putting in some retro effects that would truly describe the mood of that night. Baekhyun was a shiny thing, winning all the hearts, gaining all the favors, getting out of all the hot soup, usually just by dropping his angelic smiles every now and then, here and there. She was proud to an unnatural extent.   

 "When things fall apart, something better always comes afterwards", she repeated the caption to herself. She was in no mindset to be passive aggressive so early in the morning. If she was to be honest to herself, she really wanted to write ha, you oh sehun. 

 Her phone began ringing. Heewon threw it on her bed and dropped on it herself. She hummed the ringtone, staring at the ceiling. She kind of knew that was her brother. Even though she made it a point to not have his name in her phone, the phone number got embedded in her sharp mind and it was good. Now she could just ignore it. 

 Her younger brother Taeyong was still in school. As the younger child, it wasn't surprising that he had it all. While she was shipped into an old campus to mirror her father's communism policies. As a child, Heewon went to a public school, despite her family being filthy rich, rich enough to let her join her conglomerate neighbors to their dazzling schools. After school, she thought she would finally be able to live the life she was supposed to but college started and her things were waiting outside by her houses's ginormous gate with her father's text in her phone saying have a good time in your campus darling. She wasn't even assigned a chauffer.

 That was partly why she hated Taeyong. Other than that, she hated him because he was an . Or as her father would like to put it, emotionally and behaviorally challenged. Her family will not think twice before jumping in to defend Taeyong. Some said it was because he was a guy, some said because he had a prettier face, all very dumb reasons to not want to listen to her claims against him. She did not miss the days when she had to scream at everyone during family dinners to get some of that attention. She stopped attending them years ago.

 Not even fifteen minutes and Oh Sehun was at it again. Heewon sighed. This time, she was really powered to post another cute Baekhyun on her timeline when she rested her eyes on an extremely annoying Lisa clinging to Sehun as wind brushed past them on a luxurious yatch. Someone had a very eventful weekend, Heewon thought. She didn't know what she was searching for in Sehun's face, perhaps a hint that he regretted this. 

 But she found nothing.

 With a sulking heart, Heewon posted another picture of Baekhyun and her. Sometimes when she would be lying sleepless on her bed at night, it would crawl into her heart that Sehun left her and found something real. But she became lost in the overwhelming feeling of hurt after he walked out on her, so much that she hired services of a fake boyfriend, so much that she was now posting pictures of Baekhyun forcefully smiling and pretending he liked who she was. The feeling would rest in her bones until she would fall asleep or begin to cry, trying to grasp onto something solid and real for once but realising there was nothing of that sort in her life. 

  And as if a war had began, she saw more of Sehun's posts in the next fifteen minutes. Him and Lisa, him and lisa, Lisa and him, His friends and Lisa, Lisa and Lisa. Heewon thought no one could beat her at being petty but Oh Sehun seemed to be on a league of his own. Every time her phone beeped with a new notif from Sehun, she posted another picture of Baekhyun and her. Shopping trips, sunsets, beach, movies, cats, dogs, couch, etc. every photo she had of Baekhyun. 

 Heewon just wasn't going to back down. 

 During the five minutes it took for her personal wifi to come back to life, she found that all her miseries were crawling towards her like some starved zombies who sniffed the smell of human. Soon, she was throwing stuff at her wall, yelling her lungs out, kicking the air, angry beyond words. Only if Sehun were here. Only if...only if he miraculously appeared in front of her...that was how her thirst will be quenched. 

 Not on her birthday, no, it was the very day she was trying to be positive and happy and all-smiles and pretend she had so many friends who all cared about her like their lives depended on it. Sehun was really ruining everyday for her. No matter how many bad- playlist she put into her brain everyday, she became a messy puddle before the game Sehun and Lisa was playing with her. 

 The knock on her door made her stop her pillow massacre. Heewon's heart jumped at the familiar tentativeness of that knock. That was bound to be Baekhyun. Heewon looked around, coming back to her senses and out of her mindless rage over a stupid social media app. , why am I like this? she asked herself. She would ask it to herself every minute she found herself existing. Oh, Heewon, she sighed, you're so pathetic.

 But on her way to the door, she accidentally took a look at her phone. And there sat a new notification from Sehun. His stupid username sitting cozily on top of all the other messages. She swallowed the shame she felt when she realized all pictures she had of Baekhyun were already out in the open now. She had nothing else. 

 "Ugh, it, and you Lisa, you Sehun, you world, and Lee Taeyong and you Papa, I hate you all," she chanted as she walked to the door. "Baekhyun!" She happily cried while opening the door to her apartment, although her happy grin turned into a frown almost immediately when her eyes landed on the smile that Oh Sehun sported so handsomely.

 "Hey Heewon, happy birthday," said he. 

 Heewon's jaw fell to the ground. How shameless of him. She lost control of her body. Her brain started stuttering and before she knew it, she had landed a bloody swift punch on his jaw that made him topple to the ground, senseless. 

 "Se...Sehun?"

 He didn't move. Heewon stepped back before looking around, checking if there were any witness. Weirded out by what she had done, with her own arm and fist, Heewon poked Sehun with her foot, "Uh...you okay?"

 Heewon crouched low to see if he was breathing. "Sehun?" She found out that he was knocked well out of his brain. "I did this?" she thought to herself. "Oh ," it wasn't up to debate that she should get someone else. Her unfeeling slash yes-you-deserve-it-oh-sehun heart would not be of any help if she didn't want to fatally harm him by trying to save him. "Uh...wait here...don't die. I'll go get Baekhyun."

 "Any second now," Minseong whispered to himself. He took his spot behind everyone else, furthest from the stairs of the campus. His heart beat in such a way, one would think he was riding the most dangerous roller coaster of the world. His legs trembled with excitement. Before him were his friends holding the Happy Birthday To You, The Love Of My Life, Heewon banner which also included an edited picture of them together. Sera had done a fantastic job at photoshoping the two of them together. Before the huge banner was a band of singers he hired to sing the Birthday song.  Before the hip singers stood the orchestra that he had on speed dial at this point. Before them were ballet dancers with their spiraling ribbons, ready to encircle her and dance around her once she walked into the space. 

 He also brought along anyone who was willing to be present at this wonderful occasion. So there were people ranging from all ages, waiting in the campus ground for the birthday girl. Minseong also promised them free meal. 

 "Is everyone ready?" He asked with a quivering voice.

 "We've been standing like this for an hour now," someone from the crowd whined. 

 Minseong checked the time. One hour was nothing in the face of a forever with the girl of his dreams. "Okay, two free meals, everyone!" He yelled back at them. "She'll be here soon! I texted her!"

 With longing etched on his face, Minseong stared at the door of her private apartment. No sign of her. "Heewon, come on," folding his hands around the bouquet of flowers, he muttered a quick desperate prayer. "Please Heewon."

 The crowd broke into sudden whispers when Heewon really came rushing down the stairs like a restless wave thrashing on a beach. Minseong's heart almost broke out of all the trembling. He didn't think it was physically possible for his heart to make that noise. Heewon had a frantic look on her face. As her eyes drank the atmosphere in, her face paled even more. The band started playing. The bellerinas raised their arms and began dancing on the uneven ground, the church choir tried to harmonize with the singers but failed miserably. His friend began singing. 

 The mess didn't reach him. His eyes zeroed on the beautiful girl who looked slightly different without her makeup. There was plain horror written over her face. The screaming, shouting, occasionally tuned harmonious singing was shaking the whole city.

 "Stop," Heewon tried to tell them. "Stop it!"

 "HApPy bIrThDaY, hEeWoN~"

"Someon'es dying upstairs!" She covered her ears from the excessive noise. "Minseong, stop this, you moron!"

But her voice only got lost in the crowd. Everyone circled her and dance around her. Someone also said, ", what is her name, again?" And Heewon couldn't help but glare at the girl as if she had committed a huge sin. Her vision was competely blocked by the silly plan Minseong never managed to pull off properly. "Let me go!"

 To her surprise, the crowd really parted from the mi