Yubin.

 

When Jiho first liked a girl, she threw a whole party celebration, with all the purple decorations all over the room. 

 

Yubin was late that day but she knew something's about to happen since Jiho isn't texting her or anything. They're bestfriends. Jiho isn't the typical type who would always be there exclusively supporting you as a friend but when the time came and Jiho became not just a friend to Yubin, she's gone really really exclusive.

 

Yubin enters the classroom and saw Jiho kneeling on the white-tiled floor at the middle and all of their classmates are staring at them, most girls squealing and boys clapping at Jiho's plausible surprise. 

 

"Binnie, Will you be my girlfriend?" Upon hearing Jiho calling her by her real name- which she actually preferred more than her nickname, and the question afterwards, Yubin can't help but smile and nod as she accepts Jiho's proposal.

 

That's where they started. 

 

It was also the first time Yubin experienced.. falling in love. Unfortunately, it's with Jiho. Anyway, Jiho wasn't a bad of a girlfriend back then, the girl is full of random surprises all especially planned for Yubin.

 

Jiho would pull her out of the classroom and they'd cut classes. One day, they went the amusement park. Jiho didn't fail to amuse her that day. 

 

"Stop kidnapping me! I studied for today's recitation, you know." Yubin rolled her eyes when Jiho finally let her go. The girl had been holding her hand the whole time they're on the way to the place. 

 

Jiho chuckles and ruffled Yubin's short hair. The latter lightly slaps Jiho's hand and brushed her now messy hair. 

 

"Stop complaining, you'll still come out first by the end of the school year. And this," Jiho raised her hand and Yubin saw her holding two unlimited ticket-ride cards in Jiho's hand. Her eyes widened out of excitement. 

 

"Is my graduation gift for you." Jiho said, smiling. 

 

They tried every ride they could go to that day. Sometimes, Jiho would for being a weakling screaming while they were on the extreme rides but Yubin doesn't care because all throughout, Jiho would be holding her hand and she'd feel the safest. 

 

For most amusement park dates, the highlight will always be the common and famous ferris wheel sweet ride. But for Jiho and Yubin's date, it's the carousel. 

 

Not many people were there to ride the carousel. Usually, there should be kids here for being a hit to children but there were only 3-5 people there aside from them.

 

"Maybe they think it's lame." Jiho joked as they walked passed the gate. Yubin chuckles, Jiho brought her to the small bench a little to the center and behind the horses, these statue were almost covering them from outside.

 

"We're just gonna sit here and get dizzy?" Yubin asked sarcastically, the staff pressed the button and some children song started echoing through the little spot of the carousel. 

 

Jiho held her hand as they sat together. "Yeah, hm, we can just sit here and you can enjoy holding my hand but no biting."

 

Even so, Yubin bit Jiho's hand. Jiho didn't say anything but she felt Jiho's grip on her tightened. She chuckles and leaned her head on Jiho's shoulder. 

 

They sat there for the same duration of 3 complete ticket rides. It was calming. Jiho would sometimes bring up little topics for them to talk about but the rest of the minutes, they're just sitting together, holding hands and enjoying the comfort they feel with each other.

 

Those were happy days.

 

"Binnie.. Sorry, my sisters won't let me go." Jiho tells her on the phone. They're supposed to be having a lunch date but Jiho stood her up. Yubin sighs, she looked outside the window of her room and it's already dark. After she realized Jiho wouldn't come, she immediately went home with a heavy heart and it's almost midnight when Jiho called her. 

 

"I don't know Jiho, this isn't the first time." She said, it wasn't her intention to be prideful.. she just wants to know if Jiho's not lying to her.

 

"The last time, you know my sister gave birth to her son, right? You told me you understand." 

 

"But you didn't explain until I asked you after a week!" Yubin's grip on the phone tightened. She can't tell which part of this conversation is making her mad. Am I being too much?

 

"I'm sorry. I thought it didn't matter."

 

"Yubin! Come down here and report to me!" She heard her father calling. Sighing, she stood up, ready to end the call.

 

"I'll go now." 

 

"Binnie-" She hang up the phone call. Either Jiho had pissed her off or she's just tired of the pressure from school and family but the same cases made her exhausted. 

 

Jiho was really sweet. She's fast as well. Maybe.. maybe that's the reason why Jiho got tired of Yubin so fast. A week after their first month together, Jiho started distancing herself from Yubin. 

 

Was it supposed to happen that way? If it wasn't because of Yubin's recent attitude.. She thought that something may have happened at Jiho's home. She tried to talk to Jiho's sisters but they said Jiho only goes home at night. Weird, it is. Jiho usually goes from home to school and to Yubin only. Where else would she go?

 

"Here's the address to our bar. Maybe Jiho's there." Seulgi, one of Jiho's sister gave her a piece of paper with an address on it that one time she went to visit Jiho's house again because Jiho wasn't replying to her texts either.

 

She went there, of course. She's worried. She cares for Jiho so much.. 

 

The thing is, Yubin first time caring for someone outside her family and falling in love was not like those of the dramas we usually see. Yubin didn't see Jiho in the bar, but she saw her outside the bar. 

 

Standing there, talking and fliriting with some girl she's only seen for the first time. Yubin was hurt, pissed, annoyed. The last time she checked, Jiho's still dating her and they have spent many loving moments together. 

 

What happened? 

 

"I was not flirting with her!" Jiho insisted as they walk back to Yubin's house. Yubin was walking ahead. It's because she's embarrassed that Jiho saw her there and she's going mad because Jiho is denying that she's flirting with the girl she Yubin clearly saw how the girl kept clinging on her girlfriend like they're about to smooch each other.

 

"Ah OK. Sure." Yubin said, rolling her eyes. Jiho doesn't want to lose. Jiho hates it. And Yubin hates it when Jiho always make it look like she's always to right one. 

 

Yubin knew what she saw. She'll stand by what she thinks.

 

"What's your problem, Yubin? I'm trying hard here!" Jiho's tone is firm, like she'd reached her limit. Yubin scoffs. 

 

"You're trying hard? No you're not! You're making it hard for me!" Yubin yelled back. They're almost at Yubin's house and she doesn't want her parents to hear her and Jiho fighting so she stopped walking. 

 

"You're the one who's making this harder for the both of us!" 

 

"You know what?" Yubin faced Jiho, the girl's face initially looked pissed, her perfectly shaped eyebrows knitted. But when Yubin heaved a deep sigh, Jiho's face softened, biting her bottom lip like she's scared of what Yubin was about to say.

 

"We should get some rest. Go home." She said, not even looking at Jiho's eyes. She liked the girl so much but they can't keep figthing like this. 

 

Jiho didn't say a word, she just nodded, hugged Yubin for a while and kissed her cheek before leaving. 

 

That night, Jiho sent a text to Yubin.

 

Jiho, 10:54 p.m. : I'm sorry if I keep giving you a hard time. You deserve better, Binnie. I don't think I can handle being committed to someone now.. It's just not for me, I guess. I'm really sorry.

 

 

They broke up.

 

 

Yubin was devastated, she looked up a lot to the kind of person Jiho is. Her move was just really rude.. and disappointing.

 

"Hi? U-uhm.. they said I can apply for scholarship here?" A girl entered the office where Yubin had just come in as well. She didn't know what to say since she's also a freshman. They're finally in college. It's just been a few months after the break up.

 

"I'm Yoo-- Yubin, you can call me Yubin." She almost said Binnie but she didn't. Yubin lend her hand to shake the girl's. She has a cute smile on her small face, her eyes made her look like a doll. 

 

"I'm Yoo Shiah, you can call me Yooa!" The girl bowed at her but Yubin held the girl's shoulders to stop her. 

 

"You don't need to- I'm just a freshman like you so.. I can't answer your questions about scholarship too." Yubin said and flashed a smile at Yooa. A blush bloomed on Yooa's circling cheeks. That's when Yubin realized the position they're in to, a few centimeters apart each other and her hands on top of Yooa's shoulders. 

 

"Oh hi! You girls are here." A senior came in with two other girls, one of them is taller than the other. The smaller one with a big smile while the taller is in a cute ponytail and peachy cheeks. They're here for a scholarship contract-- in exchange of being university officers.

 

That same day, Yubin found out that Jiho was her schoolmate, again. She was having a little problem thinking about how she will try her best to avoid the girl in case they cross paths soon when someone placed a cup of coffee on her table. 

 

When she lift her head, she saw Yooa sitting back to her desk and Arin- the tall girl standing across her. The girl smiled at her. It was refreshing.

 

2 years after, Yubin has been doing great. Her relationship with Jiho.. she's sure she had moved on now. She heard about how Jiho was doing after they broke up. Apparently, Jiho started dating many girls after her and it didn't surprise her, not a bit. Jiho said it herself, she's not into commitment. Yubin doesn't care anymore.

 

Choi Yewon.. or simply Arin. The new girl in her life became her bestfriend. It all started with that coffee that calmed her down that day. That girl became her safe space.

 

The door flew open and Arin appeared, entering the office. Yubin was alone there. She had free time and decided to continue the reports Hyojung is asking for.

 

Which -- Yubin just finished so she's now sitting, her head resting on the wall just above the back of the sofa. Arin sat next to her.

 

They sat next to each other quietly. "Tired?" The girl asks softly.

 

Yubin nods a little. She has a class in 10 minutes so she'd already thought of leaving soon. 

 

"Working while studying. At least there's a cute girl in the office." Yubin hesitated at first. She didn't know how to flirt, since Jiho was the one who made the first move back then... but with Arin, Yubin found a courage to do so.

 

Arin chuckles. Her loud giggle sounded so pleasant for Yubin. "There are four cuties in this office." The girl said, snapping back to her. Yubin smiles, Arin wasn't lying about Hyojung and Yooa being cute but Yubin doesn't think she's as cute as them.

 

Seconds of silence in the room. Yubin didn't mind. She was going to leave when Arin suddenly shifted from her seat and leaned on Yubin's shoulder.

 

Okay. Maybe my class can wait.

 

Arin, Hyojung and Yooa became her closest friends. Their job had been about overlooking everything that has something to do with the students- students affairs it is. Sometimes, she would encounter the familiar name of her ex. 

 

It didn't bother her for two years until one day came and Choi Yewon saw Kim Jiho. Yubin never thought that her plan to avoid Jiho has also made Arin less exposed to Jiho. 

 

The odds of Jiho and Arin meeting.. it could be a work of destiny. And it was really hard for Yubin.

 

Arin fell for Jiho the moment they saw each other. Yubin was denying it at first. 

 

"I can give you her number." She told Arin, She didn't like that the girl wasn't paying attention to her so figured maybe she could give Jiho's old number and once Jiho didn't respond to her, maybe Arin can move on from this Jiho thing and Yubin can enjoy being by Arin's side again.

 

It got even scarier when Yubin saw Jiho and her new friends, Mimi and Seunghee, approaching their table that lunch. Jiho's smug face was so annoying but Yubin couldn't help but admire the fact that Jiho made her friends apologize.

 

"Yubin! Where is Arin? She should be here by now!" Hyojung was very pissed, her eyebrows knitted and her cheeks are hard, lips pursed like hwo she always looked like when she's stressed. 

 

"I don't know too.. I'm sorry." Yubin answered honestly. It's the party they've been prepared hard for and Irene is missing. It's Jiho's fault, for sure.

 

Yubin hated it when Arin got more interested about Jiho.

 

She hated it more when she found out that Arin and Jiho have become closer.. and that Arin wasn't telling her anything about it anymore. 

 

Bae Yubin had become frustrated about Jiho interfering with her new found bright path. I wasn't supposed to be competing with Jiho. She's Yubin's ex. The situation should be about moving on. Not fighting for the same girl.

 

Except that she didn't fought back. She couldn't. 

 

It was obvious. Yubin was, and always have been better than Jiho. But she's nothing when it comes to Arin. So far, Yubin still has the patience to cope up with the stress she feels when Jiho is around them. There are times that she'd tell herself: It's okay if they flirt with each other. Knowing Jiho, she'll just run away and break Arin's heart.

 

"I know you, Jiho. I understand how she can be so interested in you." Yubin takes a sip on the straw of milk, making sure Jiho could hear it to annoy the girl. It's just a bit of getting back to Jiho for ruining her college life.

 

Jiho was just silent, Yubin rolled her eyes and bit her bottom lip. She knew Jiho wasn't ignoring her.

 

"I just don't understand why she's not listening to me." Yubin muttered. Her frustration about Jiho getting in between her and Arin is showing.

 

Jiho raised her head from the table and faced Yubin. "It's been two years, Binnie. I'm not the same person I used to be."

 

Binnie. Yubin hated it. From what she heard when Arin talks about Jiho, she didn't change. There are times Arin would be out of the mood because Jiho was not texting back or could be-- surely, avoiding Arin.

 

She scoffs at her and flashed an irritated look. "That's why. That's why I'm warning her because you'll just hurt her."

 

"You don't know that." Jiho goes back to staring at Arin. Can she just leave?

 

"We're already fine and everything was quiet. Why do you need to get yourself involve with us?"

 

Yubin stood at this chance to tell Jiho all of these because she knows she can't and will never try to talk to the girl in the future anymore.

 

"You two are just bestfriends. Don't act like I ruined your relationship."

 

"You are going to ruin her." Yubin says as she stood up from the sofa and went to her desk. She was sure of it. Jiho never changed, she's a player, selfish and annoying. She should just leave.

 

When Jiho left, Yubin glanced at the still sleeping Arin.

 

Out of thoughts, she whispers. "I don't want you to be hurt." 

 

She tried. Yubin tried to avoid the fact that Arin would be dating Jiho soon, like, officially. In her head, she sees Arin being committed but she erases Jiho from that image. She hates thinking about it.

 

Yubin was right. Jiho didn't change. After many weeks, her true form came out, she did hurt Arin like Yubin initially thought of.

 

After Arin asked Yubin to bring her home, Yubin stayed by Arin's side. She didn't know what to feel. Happy? Because Jiho and Arin have ended now.. Or... She should feel bad, wishing for them to end when she knew Arin will be hurt. 

 

Arin has always been bubbly, smiley, cheeky. But now, all Yubin could see is a crying girl, vulnerable, weak, hurt. 

 

That night, Yubin came to a realization. Choi Arin had become her safe space in the past two years. Seeing her crying like this...

 

"I will do my best to be your safe space." Yubin whispered, leaning down as she kisses the sleeping Arin's forehead.

 

Yubin wondered if Jiho would reply to her if she'd send a text to the girl. She is mad, but surely not as mad as Arin feels. The girl rejected Arin a quite few times just for Kim Jiho. Yubin thinks she has the right to be mad. 

 

The next day, Arin didn't come to school. Yubin was late, she couldn't sleep, worried about Arin. Just like the usual, Yubin parked her car and when she hopped off, she saw a few students walking here and there. 

 

It's not new to her anymore. Although, she saw Mimi and Seunghee running towards the school gate. 

 

Oh?

 

Kim Jiho was there walking with her shades on, completely hiding her eyes through the dark grey glasses. Attention seeker. Yubin rolled her eyes, she heard some students murmuring in awe at Jiho's exclusive entrance. Jiho's two bestfriends laughing loudly while teasing Jiho's look.

 

"How dare she come like this after hurting Arin?" Yubin asks herself in annoyance. 

 

She tried walking faster because she knew the three troublemakers are just behind her as she could hear them talking but when she heard Jiho's voice, she slowed down.

 

"Have you heard about Arin?" The girl asks, hoarseness evident in her voice. Did she drink too much? It's still in Yubin's memory that Jiho's voice turns like that when she had too much alcohol the past night.

 

"Nope. Yooa isn't texting me anymore." 

 

"Hyojung's busy working. Why are you even wearing shades? Trying to look awesome?" 

 

"I couldn't sleep well. My eyes look pathetic." 

 

Yubin had to turn to the building on her right where her class is. Now she's sure of one thing-- although she hates to admit it. Jiho wasn't drunk in alcohol, she was crying all night. 

 

Thinking that she's not in position to tell Arin anything she heard, Yubin just continued comforting the girl. Arin cannot stay skipping classes so she came to school the next day.

 

"Are you okay?" Yubin stood up from her sitting on her desk when Arin came to their office, banging the door behind her. Eyes fixed on the floor when she went to her own desk. The girl didn't answer her question-- although it was obvious that Arin is mad and not okay.

 

Yubin walked towards the door. She didn't open it and instead peeked through the window.

 

Jiho was standing there with a bouquet of flowers in her hand, she looked pissed at herself. Yubin sighs. 

 

She glanced at Arin who hasn't moved a bit from her chair before leaving the office. She'll talk to Jiho.

 

"Please just go. It's not the right time for this. Arin will not hesitate to shut you." Jiho looked at her as she spoke. For the first time in two years, Yubin felt that sense where she knows Jiho's the one who needs her help. 

 

"Let me in. I just need a moment to talk to her. It'll be quick." Jiho's chin up, hand still holding the flowers. She's wearing a pair of reading glasses now but her eyes are still kind of red. 

 

"You can't, she doesn't want to talk to you." Yubin's sure of it, even when Arin wasn't speaking, she knew Arin is not ready.

 

Jiho stared at her, as if scannign her face-- if she's lying. Yubin tried her best to act tough, she tried to talk wiht a stern tone and she hopes it'll work so Jiho would leave.

 

She thought Jiho would leave. After minutes of staring at each other with that same tension, Jiho turns her face from her left and right and even behind where she's standing, looking at her surroundings. Well, there are some students passing by. 

 

Yubin had enough, she was about to turn back, planning to lock the door of the office but Jiho suddenly dropped on her knees. In shock, Yubin was worried Jiho's knees would've bled because of what she did. 

 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Yubin yelled at the girl. People had been staring and it's embarrassing. What made her so mad though, was the fact that Jiho's actions reminded her of high school... when Jiho asked her out.

 

"Help me get through her... Please." Jiho begged her. 

 

Kim Jiho indeed changed.

 

Yubin closed her eyes and heaved a deep breath before going back in the office. Mind-free.

 

"Why are we heading this way...?" Arin asks softly, fingers scrapping through the fabric of the seatbelt. Yubin was driving, she promised to drive Arin everyday but for now, she will help Jiho as well. 

 

She decided to. Her feelings for Arin will always be reciprocated... but not with the same amount. Still, Arin is her bestfriend. If there's something she can do to make Arin happy, she'll do it. And that, is to help her reconcile with Jiho.

 

"She begged me to help her." Yubin confessed, she hits the brake smoothly when they reached that park. It's the place where Jiho's nephew had his birthday party. Jiho asked Yubin to bring Arin there. 

 

From far away, on the pavillion, they could see Jiho waiting. Can't sit still, walking back and forth. She must be too nervous about this. 

 

Yubin faced Arin, "If you're not ready, we can go back." She said, gentle. Arin gave her a small smile.

 

"Actually..." Arin looked down on her lap. Yubin followed the girl's gaze and saw Arin's phone, her wallpaper is Jiho. Right.

 

"You're planning to give her a chance. Again." Yubin said, she forced a smile. She wants Arin to know that she's fine with it. 

 

"Yeah.." Arin nodded slowly. In Yubin's head, she realizes -- Arin never gave her a chance but she's willing to give Jiho hundreds of chances. Ever since then, Yubin had lost.

 

"Why..?" Yubin asks, she just wants to know why. 

 

"With Jiho, everything is just spontaneous."

 

Yubin smiles and pats Arin's head. The girl took off her seatbelt and thanked Yubin for driving. She watched as Arin walked away from her car and run towards Jiho. The two hugged as soon as they met eyes. 

 

As Yubin drove back home, she also let go of the strings keeping her holding onto the feelings she had for Arin. She decided to let go.

 

"I hope you don't mess up this last one." Yubin whispers, hoped Jiho knows how precious this chance Arin is giving her. 

 

 

 

Bae Yubin, a girl who kept looking for love. She smiled as she enters the office, her friends greeted her a good morning. Arin was there too, already busy but managed to wave at her. 

 

She placed her bag down on the sofa and went to her desk to pick up where she left off the other night. As Yubin walked past Arin's desk, she saw a framed photo of Jiho hugging Arin standing next to Arin's laptop. 

 

She shakes her head and thoughts with a chuckle as she sat on her seat. She opens her laptop and clicked the documents she's planning to pass to Hyojung. 

 

Yubin got tired of looking for love, she just knows that someday, it'll come to her. Without force, without complications, without worries. 

 

Just then, she noticed the cup of coffee sitting at the corner of her desk. It's reminded her of the first coffee offered to her in this very same office. There was a sticky note next to it..

 

Have a nice day <3 - Sha