Donghae ended up snapping out of his reverie after a good half hour and then basically forced Siwon to watch Titanic again for the umpteenth time (though Siwon really couldn’t complain this time). He wrapped Donghae up in a warm blanket and held him in his arms for the entirety of the film, occasionally pressing kisses onto the younger’s forehead whenever he saw Donghae’s tears glistening in his eyes about to fall. 

It was normal for Donghae to cry each time he watched the movie, but this time, Siwon thought Donghae looked ready to cry every time Jack appeared on the screen. Just, something wasn’t right, but he kept quiet about it nonetheless.

Three hours later, Donghae was a sobbing, hiccoughing mess in his arms.

“Wonnie…”

Siwon nuzzled Donghae’s neck softly and gently, careful to avoid the wounds on his back. “Yes, baby?”

“I ed up.”

Sighing softly to himself, Siwon only hugged Donghae even closer to himself. “Do you want to talk about it now?”

“Not really,” Donghae said with a sniffle.

“Okay, then we’ll talk about it only when we’re both ready.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.”

Siwon ruffled Donghae’s hair and lightly kissed his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, especially not when you’re still hurting like this.” He stole another glance at the credits rolling on the screen and carefully pulled the younger into his lap. He wiped away the remnants of the tear streaks on Donghae’s face and smiled gently at him. “You cried a lot more during the movie today.”

“I did?” Donghae asked with a soft hiccough, letting the elder coddle him as he wished. “I-I guess I just couldn’t help thinking that they remind me of H-Hyuk— I mean, the other guy and I, coz we’re from two completely different backgrounds who just aren’t meant to be together… something like that?”

It was definitely Hyukjae, Siwon thought, humming softly into the younger’s hair to distract himself from the anger that was bubbling in his chest. But he pretended not to notice Donghae’s slip of the tongue. “Two completely different backgrounds, like how?”

“Age-wise, profession-wise, social class-wise, maybe even personality-wise?” Donghae asked with a shrug. “Like Jack and Rose, how they longed to be together despite being from completely different classes of society, wanting to be together but having to hide their forbidden love from other people. I feel like, like I kinda see myself in Rose’s shoes, especially since Rose was also… engaged to another… man.” The professor shyly glanced at Siwon with a soft blush on his face. “I-I didn’t mean that you were Cal Hockley and I was cheating on you or anything, I swear I’m not, but—”

“It’s okay, I get what you’re trying to say,” Siwon said, shushing Donghae before he went off on another pointless ramble again. “And I’m not offended, because you can’t cheat on me.”

“Idiot,” Donghae said, his teary face lighting up softly with a small, knowing smile. He curled himself up against Siwon’s neck and let out a soft sigh. “Can you… can you stay with me?”

“Of course, Hae, I’ll always be here for you.”

“I mean like, stay here for a couple of days.”

“For however long you want,” Siwon assured him quietly. “Until you recover.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Then I’ll stay here forever.”

Donghae pouted softly. “I wish talking to him were as easy as talking to you.”

“Who, Hyukjae?”

“Mmh.”

Donghae didn’t seem to have realised he’d basically let the monkey out of the bag. Siwon frowned a little. “So… have you been talking to him a lot lately?”

“Yeah, we kinda… I mean, I kinda, um, took him home for a few days,” Donghae said cautiously, glancing timidly at Siwon’s face to see how he’d react, but Siwon’s face remained stoic. Donghae dropped his gaze in guilt. “I slept with him.”

“Okay.”

“Many times.”

Siwon sighed. “Was he the one who left you on the floor last night?”

Donghae’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head in denial. “No… No. He didn’t. He was nice to me… most of the time,” he quickly said, worried that Siwon would openly shift his anger onto Hyukjae. “I hurt him and he left. It was mostly my fault. I ed up big time.”

“Maybe you’d want to go into some more details than that?”

A few tears trickled down Donghae’s cheeks. “He told me he loved me and I pushed him away in panic. He probably didn’t mean it. It was just the talking. And… And it’s still my fault because I was the one who seduced him in the first place. You can’t get mad at him for that.” He closed his eyes and mumbled quietly against Siwon’s shirt. “I didn’t mean to hurt him. I told him I was still with you. And he… he got upset and he left.”

“Are you sure that’s the overall story?” Siwon asked softly. “It wouldn’t be the first day he learned that we were ‘together’, I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s picked up on our PDA and skinship by now since we’ve been pretty open about it in uni.”

“I told him everything… almost. E-Everything.”

Now it was Siwon’s turn to widen his eyes. “You told him everything?”

Donghae nodded. “You said that if I really had feelings for the kid, I should come clean to him. So I told him about us.”

“Did you explain me as a buddy or something?”

“No…”

“Then what did you say?” Siwon asked. He did not have a good feeling about this. And if he guessed correctly, then he knew exactly why Donghae was so upset right now. “What did you label our relationship as?”

Donghae tilted his head. “I didn’t give us a label. I only implied that some money was involved… and . And then…” He started to cry again. “And then he accused me of being a gold-digger and a w-wh— a cheap, disgusting thing, basically, and I didn’t know how to respond because I wasn’t even sure what our arrangement should be called. And he didn’t let me explain anymore, I made him too angry, he just cut me off and left.”

Siwon drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly through his nose. “Well, that’s kinda ed up.”

“I know. I ed up, Wonnie, I’m sorry. I should have talked it through with you first before telling him everything.” Donghae had started hiccoughing again through his tears. “I-I wanted to talk to you first, I really did, because I like him a lot! I thought of telling you on Monday after work. I felt so bad that I couldn’t even tell him I liked him because I didn’t want to hurt him if he found out about you after I responded. I didn’t want to bring you into this. But he kept asking about you. And I gave in. A-And…”

“And he didn’t like what he heard.”

“... I should have worded it better. I told you. It’s all my fault.”

The elder let out another sigh and gently cradled the crying man in his arms. It was no use pointing fingers now. Donghae had been in the wrong, Hyukjae had also perhaps been in the wrong (Siwon hadn’t heard his side of the story, to be fair), and even Siwon himself probably had some responsibility in this tangle of a mess.

Heck, he was probably the biggest reason why he and Donghae were like this.

~

“So what are your plans for the future?” Siwon asked Donghae one day, just about a week before their military discharge. Donghae had had a few days of leave left and used them to visit his old friend who had been placed in another division. Siwon had taken a day of leave as well, and they were both just idly strolling along the streets of Seoul in their normal, everyday citizen clothes.

“I don’t know,” Donghae answered with a shrug. “I kind of like it here in Seoul. It’s a lot more happening than our quaint and quiet little Mokpo town at home. I’m thinking of finding a job and settling down here instead.”

Siwon nodded as he stared up into the sky. It was already some time near sunset and they had to get back soon. He pointed at a tall building in the distance and smiled at Donghae. “I was actually thinking the same thing. Luckily for me, my father’s main company office is just over there, see that?”

“Oh? I always thought your dad’s company was based in Mokpo.”

“Nah, that’s just a branch office. But he prefers the calm and quiet in Mokpo so that’s why we’ve been there since forever.”

Donghae nodded and threw Siwon a playful jealous look. “It’s good that you’ve got connections here in Seoul, then. Finding a job and a place to stay would be a breeze. Are you going to work for him in the company?”

“Heck no, he knows I’m not interested in anything else but brains,” Siwon replied with a chuckle. “My sister is all geared up and ready to take over the company anyway, so I can keep doing what I like doing best.”

“Which is basically picking at other people’s brains,” Donghae said with a laugh. “So, are you gonna go into practice or end up as a lecturer somewhere?”

“I’m steering more towards the professor side of things. I like doing experiments, see, and I can’t exactly do that at a hospital,” answered Siwon with a smirk. “I don’t think I’d be allowed to do that.”

“I’m pretty sure you won’t, so don’t even think about it.” Donghae rolled his eyes and naturally held onto Siwon’s arm as the day got chillier. “So you’ve already got everything planned out?”

“Mm-hmm. After my discharge, I’ll go back to Mokpo for a bit to pack up before bringing stuff over here. My father’s already prepared a place for me to stay anyway, and it’s not like I’m in a rush to get a job to survive out here,” Siwon said with a giggle as he habitually ruffled up Donghae’s hair and got a smack on his arm in return. “Since you want to come to Seoul as well, do you wanna stay with me for the first few months? At least that would ease off some financial burden for you while you found yourself a job.”

“Could I?” Donghae asked with sparkly eyes. “I’m sorry I hit you. I love you so muchhhh!”

Siwon shook his head in amusement and smacked him in the forehead. “I didn’t mean as lovers, silly. We’re over.”

“I know. I never said as lovers,” Donghae replied while cutely batting his eyelashes. “As best friends, neighbours, ex classmates, ex deskmates, future roommates—”

“Okay, I get the point.” Siwon interrupted before Donghae started on his mini-rant of all the ‘labels’ people had put on them since they’d been glued at the hips from their kindergarten days. It’d already been at least fifteen years since then, and the labels had just kept growing.

Little did he know that they would soon add ‘ buddies’ to that list of labels after Donghae moved in with him a month later.

~

“How was the date?”

“A complete disaster as usual,” Donghae sighed and flopped onto the sofa with a groan. “I’ve never met so many jerks in my life. People here are so different from Mokpo. We’re all open and friendly and we can tell each other our deepest, darkest secrets, but here they’re mostly just downright nasty. I don’t understand Seoul people at all.”

Siwon laughed and handed Donghae a beer, but the latter politely declined. “It is the big city, after all, Hae, and everyone is always just busy. But it’s not like we haven’t had this conversation before.”

“True. I’m not going back to Mokpo anyway, might as well try to fit in a little here.”

“But what did your date do to make him such a jerk?”

Donghae rolled his eyes again in exasperation. “He was quite good-looking and built, and I thought he looked rather cute until he opened his foul mouth and started cursing everything from the food to the waitress to the service to the music, and he just had this rather unsettling grin after learning that I’d studied anatomy and was looking for a job.”

“Ooh, what did he say?” Siwon was all ears, ready to laugh at something ridiculous.

“He said something along the lines of ‘Hey doctor, do you want me to show you how a prostate exam is done, I can do it hands-free with just my ’—”

“Gross.”

“—and he just started laughing really loudly at his own stupid joke and kept saying he’d love to explore my anatomy, and he wanted me to give him a free prostate exam, bla bla bla, like I’d never heard anyone else say that before,” Donghae finished with a shudder. “Creepy douchebag. I noped out of there immediately and came home. Went from steak and wine to some convenience store ramen in the blink of an eye. Sigh.”

“So you stuck him with a huge bill, I hope?” Siwon chuckled again and set his beer aside. “I guess nobody’s getting laid tonight.”

“Sadly, no,” Donghae said with a pout. His eyes then twinkled in mischief as he looked at his ex. “Unless you feel like it.”

“Me? How’s this suddenly related to me somehow?” Siwon asked with his comically large eyes. “Are you sure you didn’t drink any wine? Because I think you’re drunk.”

“I might have had just a tiny sip, but I swear I’m not drunk. I’m just as dry as the desert,” the younger replied in a whining voice. “I haven’t got any since the last time we did it.”

Siwon let out a low whistle. “Back when we were together?”

“Mmh. I’m sick of using stupid plastic