Donghae checked his watch and sighed again for the nth time.

He’d known all along that he had some insecurity issues, even when he was still with Siwon, but because he’d been with Siwon for such a long time, he knew for sure that Siwon would still always be there for him, patiently waiting for him, reassuring him, and telling him that he would never leave him. 

And for the many, many times Donghae still felt uneasy about their ‘relationship’, Siwon had proven time and time again that he was a man of his word. He would drop whatever he had been doing if Donghae ever called or texted him, and head over as quickly as he could just to be there for Donghae, shushing him when the younger apologised for interrupting him in the midst of whatever he was doing.

Maybe that was also part of the reason why Donghae felt so indebted to him and extremely reluctant to give him up. Because Siwon always made him feel safe and secure. He was the only constant thing in his life. Siwon was his security blanket, whether physically or emotionally.

Things have changed so much since then.

Siwon had always told Donghae that he was too big of a softie. He was too vulnerable and easily trusting of others, even when they’d hurt him first. Donghae was always the bigger person to reach out first and apologise, whether or not it had been his fault in the first place. He hated conflicts. He hated heated discussions. He hated feeling helpless and unable to do anything to rectify the situation. In fact, every time he found himself caught up in an argument, he’d always find himself on the verge of tears and he hated how small it made him feel. He hated the fact that he cried too easily, but there didn’t seem to be anything that he could do about it.

Also, while it was true that he loved pranking and playing jokes on others, if he realised that he went overboard, he’d quit immediately and start moping and apologising and reflecting on his actions until the other party stopped being mad at him and forgave him. 

(Mostly because his watery puppy eyes looked completely miserable whenever he was sad and people just couldn’t bear to see him like that.)

But Donghae had never felt as fearful or insecure as he felt now. He was in his mid-thirties and he really thought he should start being less clingy with his friends or partners, but he just couldn’t help it. Siwon had spoiled him with time and affection since before he could remember. Donghae didn’t think it was fair to seek the same security and familiarity from Hyukjae since he’d told him that he wasn’t looking for Siwon’s replacement… but Hyukjae had been gone for three hours now. 

He didn’t want to seem like an overly-controlling partner obsessed with keeping tabs on Hyukjae, so he had to deal with his demons himself. And Donghae had always, always at that.

The clock struck one. Hyukjae was still nowhere in sight.

Donghae shoved his books aside, got up, and headed towards the living room.

Maybe watching a movie could help stop his overthinking.

~

To: Lee Hyukjae

Hey… You’re at least coming back for dinner, right? 

Donghae gritted his teeth and hit the ‘send’ button. He’d quit watching his movie halfway through because he was simply too distracted. It was the fifth time he’d checked his phone over the span of ten minutes, and he still hadn’t gotten a reply from Hyukjae. Feeling rather dejected, Donghae curled up on the sofa and sank his face into his hands, biting back a sniffle.

What did he do wrong this time?

~

Hyukjae cursed as he checked his watch for what was probably the hundredth time. Three ing hours! He never thought that a spontaneous decision to get flowers for the professor would result in a two-hour jam (because of an accident involving an overturned chicken lorry in the middle of the city) and he had no way to contact the professor because his phone battery was completely out. 

Note to self: Don’t forget to charge the phone before having full-day with Donghae.

It was close to three o’clock by the time Hyukjae finally got out of the taxi at Donghae’s apartment building. The concierge nodded her head at him, having recognised him from the nights before, and Hyukjae hurriedly made his way to the lifts and pressed the button for Donghae’s floor.

Ding~ Dong~

Donghae jumped when the doorbell suddenly rang, shocking him out of his stupor. Thinking that it must be his lunch, he shuffled out slowly to the door. A little under an hour ago, Donghae had thought that maybe he was overthinking again because he was hungry, because part of him wanted to believe that there was no way Hyukjae would leave him again right after they’d made love so many times just the day before. 

Maybe Hyukjae had just decided to stay back in his dorms to finish his work before coming back to him. After all, Hyukjae had said that Donghae was too distracting for him, and Donghae knew exactly how that felt since he often got distracted by Siwon whenever he was in ‘the mood’ in the past.

Imagine his surprise when he opened the door and saw Hyukjae at the entrance, a steaming bowl of jajangmyeon in his hands and a sorry, sheepish smile on his face.

“H-Hyukjae?”

“Prof, h-hi. I’m back.”

Donghae let out a relieved chuckle and opened the door a little wider for the student to enter. He tried to mask the relief on his face the best he could. There was no point letting Hyukjae know he’d been thinking stupid thoughts all morning since the student left. “Did you get yourself a part-time delivery job too? Are you that short on money?” he joked.

Hyukjae rolled his eyes slightly and set the bowl on the table. “I met the delivery guy in the lift. He’d gotten off on the wrong floor and I offered to take this up to you since I was coming here anyway.”

Donghae grinned softly and hugged him tightly from the back. “Thank you.”

It took Hyukjae just a little while to realise that there was something off about Donghae. Starting with the fact that the professor’s arms were still tightly wrapped around his waist a minute or two later.

“Prof, hey, you can let go of me now,” Hyukjae said gently. “You haven’t had lunch yet, right? You gotta eat it while it’s still hot.” He tugged at Donghae’s arms and frowned when the muscular arms wouldn’t budge. “Prof?”

“Two more minutes,” Donghae mumbled softly against his back. “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Prof, are you alright?” Hyukjae asked in concern. He felt Donghae trembling slightly against his back and quickly whirled around to cup Donghae’s face. “P-Prof? , why are you crying? I’m sorry I came back late, there was a jam on the road and chickens were flying everywhere, and—”

“C-Chickens?”

Hyukjae wrapped his arms around Donghae and held him tightly as he nuzzled against the professor’s hair. The slight height advantage he had over Donghae came just in handy. “Did you think I wasn’t coming back?”

“N-No,” Donghae bluffed, too ashamed to admit that his insecurity was far worse than he’d imagined. He sniffed. “You haven’t answered me. Why were there chickens flying on the road?”

“Well, there was an accident—”

“Are you hurt anywhere?!”

“—No, Prof, relax. I’m not hurt anywhere.”

“Okay.”

“The lorry had been carrying chickens and when it overturned, all the cages came loose. There were maybe a few hundred scared poultry flying about and running amuck on the road,” Hyukjae said with a soft chuckle. “So. Much. Clucking. At least now the question has finally been answered.”

“What question?”

Hyukjae grinned. “Why did the chickens cross the road?”

“To get to the other side?” Donghae was puzzled.

“No, because their lorry had a breakdown.”

Donghae burst out laughing. “That’s not even the least bit funny.”

“But you’re smiling now. Mission accomplished,” Hyukjae said rather victoriously. He pecked Donghae softly on the nose and led him into the kitchen, not mi