Minju swallowed to ease the dryness of , the more she thinks about it the more it makes her feel giddy and nauseous. Her insides are turning, she feels tense.
Her time is limited, everything she wanted is happening but why does she feel like this. She keeps on thinking that the end is coming, she is ending. She took a deep breath and walked beside Ssamu who’s calm, opposite to what she is right now.

There’s a ringing in Minju’s ears, her head throbbing and deafening thoughts whispering.

Minju mindlessly followed Ssamu all the way to the shore, they both sat on a huge rock facing the waves. Everything fell silent so suddenly to the point that she can hear her own heartbeat, thumping and thumping as if wanting to get out of her chest.

Minju bit her lower lip and hugged her knees closer, the coldness of the wind does not even reach how it feels inside her. Knowing that her own life is ending sends chills through her system but what scares her more is that everything is in her hands, she’ll be the one deciding what she wants to happen. What if she made the wrong choice? What will happen to her?

She breathed in deeper and rested her chin on top of her knees, her eyes never leaving the calm sea. She crumpled tighter to herself, her eyes start to wet. The tears she’s been keeping are on the verge of falling, she doesn’t think she can hold it much longer.

Minju used to think about this day ever since she woke up from that hospital, she wished for this day to happen and yet she does not understand what she’s feeling. She brought this upon herself but why is she having second thoughts. Why is she even hesitating, this is everything she ever wanted. Everything she ever wanted…is this everything she ever wanted? She’s been wai-

Minju stopped breathing when felt a hand rest on the top of her head, its warmth stopped the flow of her thoughts blocking away anything. She blinked twice and snap to her senses. Thank the heavens.

She turned her gaze to trace the owner of the hand only to find her casually looking at the sea with her hand on Minju.

Minju took the opportunity to stare, her eyes in awe as she stared lovingly. Ssamu feels familiar, her warmth feels familiar, so familiar that she’s almost like them. Minju raised the side of her lips,

Ssamu and her subtle efforts to help her, to comfort her really touch her heart despite them being complete strangers Ssamu is very kind to her. She doesn’t feel strange towards her but she feels a great deal of familiarity. If only she knew Ssamu back then she’ll surely get some strength from her. With Ssamu she feels less alone and accepted, she wished she knew her but if it wasn’t for her being here she won’t even meet Ssamu. How pathetic her life is.

Minju sighed, she’s here now. Just a little bit longer she won’t be alone anymore, she’ll be with them soon, she’ll meet them after all.

Minju closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She feels terribly anxious about everything, is she still doing the right thing? Will she be doing the right thing?

“It’s okay to cry” nonchalantly Ssamu remarked when she felt that Minju’s watering eyes stayed on her.

Minju did the first thing people do when they don’t know what to say, laugh. She cackled instead of paying attention to what Ssamu said. She lowered her gaze and smiled weakly.

“You scared?” Ssamu continued, now it’s her time to stare. Upon reaching the shore Ssamu can already sense what the other has been going through; the sudden quietness, her heavy breathing, the tension in her body, the stiffness of her posture, and the redness of her eyes says it all. It worries her that Minju’s feelings might eat her and it will lead to…, she just hopes Minju did think through her decisions. She hopes she’d given her enough time to think.

It almost didn’t sound like a question to Minju and Ssamu is doing a great job at hitting all her spots. She focused on doodling on the surface of the rock, hoping she will have the courage to let her feelings out.

She can feel Ssamu’s gaze on her. Minju sighed and answered weakly “Well, I can’t do anything about that anymore can I?” for a second Minju tried to sound cheerful but the defeat in her voice is very evident. She’s just exhausted from everything. It’s tiring suppressing what she truly feels, it’s tiring to pretend and to hold everything on her own. If this is her last time, she at least wants to free everything even if it’s a bit too late.

Ssamu shook her head and took her hand off Minju’s head to place it on her shoulder “You don’t have to do anything about that except accept it…the only way you can overcome it” Ssamu left a few taps on Minju’s shoulder before leaving it.

Minju nodded and timidly smiled. She’s been saying this frequently but it really feels nice to have Ssamu beside her, knowing that she’s there with her comforts her. She stopped doodling on the rock and looked at Ssamu bravely straight in the eyes

“Then very much, yes…I am. I’m scared, Ssamu.” Minju didn’t expect the words to come out of that easily, she smiled in relief. It felt like the wind took heavy baggage out of her chest. It’s all in her mind after all.

“It’s okay to feel scared, don’t punish yourself for something you can’t control. Let it be” Ssamu smiled at Minju.

A long comfortable silence went after that, Minju and Ssamu side by side eyes gazing at the sea waiting for the sun to rise.

“Ssamu?” Minju started in a soft voice. Ssamu stared at her, anticipating what the other will say.

“Hmm?” Ssamu replied, calmly looking at the other. The watering and the shaking of Minju’s eyes are very evident, she looks like she’s about to cry but still fighting it. Ssamu saw how Minju bit her lower lip the moment her tears fell.

“W-what if I make the wrong decision?” Minju struggled, the lump in gets in the way badly.

Ssamu pouted and creased her forehead, trying not to get affected by Minju’s falling tears.
She doesn’t want to add fuel to the blazing fire so she tries to keep her tone light “Well, is there such thing in the first place?” she asked

Minju sniffed, she looked baffled for a second. It made her think “What?…Well I…I don’t really….know”

Ssamu grinned and nodded at the latter, she hugged her knees closer to her chest “Right! I think it’ll be the matter of a decision you truly want versus the decision you will regret”

“What do you want now, Minju-ssi?”

“I don’t know but I don’t want to do something I’ll regret” Minju sniffed as she responded, she’s still in tears

“Well, then don’t” Ssamu shrugged as she looked at Minju with light eyes. Hoping that it makes the latter feel a bit light too.

“Just like that?” Minju whispered, her tears are drying. Ssamu simply nodded at the other who looks like in between a weeping fox and a sad frog.

“How do I do that?” Minju questioned Ssamu, who still seems to be so invested in their conversation

Ssamu laughed at the other’s action, Minju looks so innocent looking at her. She shrugged “I don’t know, I think that’s something for you to figure out,” she said bopping her finger against Minju’s nose.

Minju furrowed her brows and frowned “That’s very helpful” she said with much dismay that made Ssamu laugh

“What can I say? Not everyone has the power to choose unlike you” Ssamu snorted

“What?…wait you don’t?” Minju’s eyes got bigger in surprise, she looked at the other shockingly

Ssamu smiled calmly “Why are you so surprised, it’s not like anyone who wants to go back can go back or anyone who wants to go can go. That’s not how it works, well at least that’s how I know how it works”

Still taken aback Minju exclaimed, “But why??”

“Nah, beats me. I’m stuck here and I don’t know when I can get out or will I ever get out” Ssamu said nonchalantly, she accepted it long ago so it’s very easy to say it herself. What can she do anyway. It’ll be a waste of time and energy if she’ll lash out about something she has no say to.

Minju furrowed her brows “How did you get here? I mean well for me I let the waves eat me and then I woke up here, how about you?”

Ssamu smiled weakly as she stared at Minju’s eyes, she wonders what will come out of the moment she’ll open it. Should she be completely honest, never leaving out any detail? How far can she tell?

“Ssamu?” Minju said a bit hesitant to bother Ssamu that’s spacing out, her silence went longer

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it. It’s fine, it’s fine”

Ssamu raised her both brows, snapping back. She averted her gaze to the sea, she nodded.

“We were driving, you know going home after a long day. We even had take-out to eat together after the ride…” Ssamu breathed deeper, recalling that day sends bittersweet emotions back.

It’s not that she’s struggling to recall those memories but she suddenly realized how long it’s been since she actually talked to someone or is it the first time she actually talked about this. She can’t remember wh