Everything is new or at least she wants it to be, they want her to be.

They said moving into a different place, far away from the bustling city, away from where they remind her of them will help her have a fresh start- a new beginning. A new life away from the nightmares. They said to live and forget, move on. Until now she doesn’t get the idea of starting in a place full of unfamiliar faces, it just makes her feel more lost rather than pushing her forward but she doesn’t say that. Heck if she’ll ever spit anything. She won’t share it, not her thoughts.

Minju ridiculously chuckled as she ran her eyes through her room, looking at everything, looking at her right now a fresh start is very much promising.

She feels nothing and everything at the same time, useless and indifferent. She’s shrinking and sinking deeper each day as she lets it devour her to the bones. Is there any point in living after all?

She didn’t even try to clean up her tiny space, mess all over - pictures and papers scattered along with the ink-empty pens she used to write. Minju’s been tasked to have a daily journal to keep track of what she’s feeling, everything for her thoughts and all. She’s just doing it in order to escape and end the ‘how are you’- ‘I’m feeling okay’ nonsense. It’s not for her sake but for them to stop meddling with her life.

She must do what they think is best for her, they’re experts after all and who is she to interfere? So, she goes with the flow and lets them drown her.

The boxes full of her stuff still remain unopened, overwhelming all the space making it feel stuffy and narrow. It doesn’t even look like her room, the whole house even looks inhabited. Minju just doesn’t care anymore simply because she has no reason to. If she were the same person as before, things wouldn’t be like this but everything’s changed.

Cigarette smoke reeks the whole room, it’s a new habit Minju discovered. It’s bad for herself she knows and that’s why she does it but oddly it also calms her down especially when her thoughts seem to cloud over her.

Just a puff and everything feels like it was just like before, she bit her chapped lips she didn’t stop until she tasted a metallic liquid gushing over. At times she feels guilt creep over when she does things way different from before but what else can she do?

The pain is just too much.

It’s been seven days- a week full of unbearable pain, regret, and loss.

Seven terrible days since she woke up from the hospital which she wished she never did at all. Why did she have to survive when she’s the weakest among them? Why did she have to be the one to be left alone?

The world really has its own way of making her miserable. It feels like that everything is just against her, the world wouldn’t let her be happy not even for a second.

No bruises, no injury can ever compare to the pain of losing the ones that you treasure the most. She has no idea how she manages to hold up for seven days. She’s cold and alone in an unfamiliar place. Nothing feels more lonely than ever.

Blowing and releasing her breath to the air, Minju puffed the last remaining stick. She watched how the smoke stayed in the air before vanishing too quickly without any warning. She sniffed in the cold night breeze, they are like the smoke staying for a short period of time then disappearing in a blink of an eye. She settled herself on the roof where she used her window to climb over, she fixated her gaze on the dark sky stars are nowhere to be seen it’s been clouded heavily… just like her.

The sky feels empty and sad without the stars, she stretched her hand upward, reaching for something.