It had already been a few days since they broke up and Hongjoong really couldn’t pull himself together, he stayed at home for a week before he returned to Seoul, but even then he couldn’t understand it, why would Taehwan just leave him? It was confusing, it was suffocating, it gave him headaches, trying to understand it was hard.

They were fine the day before it, everything was great, sure it was a little awkward because of his parents but when they were alone they were themselves, everything was going okay so what made Taehwan decide to end it just like that? What did he do wrong?

In the end, he missed a lot of his classes and he asked Seonghwa to collect his assignments since he couldn’t get himself to get out of bed.

For Seonghwa he was worried, who wouldn’t be, he knew Hongjoong, the boy wouldn’t just not come to class, even when he was sick he still went to class, so what would happen that he wouldn’t even show up? Why did his friend sound so broken on the phone, what exactly happened?

When he went to pick up Hongjoong’s homework he got stopped by one of Hongjoong’s professors.

“Seonghwa right? You’re friends with Hongjoong correct?” the professor asked the boy.

“Yes, Hongjoong asked me to collect his assignments, he hasn’t been feeling well lately, '' Seonghwa explained to the professor, hoping his friend wasn’t in too much trouble.

“Hmm I heard, I’m old friends with Hongjoong’s father, he went home right? His father called me when he missed the first week, he said Hongjoong looked really sick, but the doctor couldn’t find that he was sick at all, but he also told me that they were celebrating someone’s birthday and apparently the two knew one another for a long time, apparently, Taehwan- the guy’s birthday they were celebrating left in a hurry after they went on a walk and Hongjoong came home looking like someone ripped his heart out” The professor explained.

“Wait Taehwan?” Seonghwa asked a little confused, he knew something was going on between them but Hongjoong did keep his relationship a secret but Seonghwa knew him for a long time so he picked up on it almost immediately.

“Yeah his name’s Taehwan, his father thinks that Hongjoong might’ve confessed and he got rejected or something like that, he isn’t really sure but he said he thinks Hongjoong needed his friends for the time being, but I didn’t really know who he was close to so I didn’t know who to speak to,” The professor said as he collected some notes and assignments.

“Here I copied all the notes for him and here are the assignments, tell him he has as much time as he needs to complete these, and to not rush things” Seonghwa nodded a little and left the classroom.

“Did they… did they break up?” Seonghwa asked himself as he walked.

He was unsure at first but when he got to Hongjoong’s apartment and saw the state the boy was in he was sure of it, something was up and he knew for a fact that Hongjoong wouldn’t talk about it, the boy liked dealing with everything himself even the worst of pain, so he only had one option… Taehwan.

He stayed at Hongjoong’s until the boy fell asleep after crying for a while and he took the boy’s phone, he scrolled through trying to find Taehwan’s number somehow he ended up in Hongjoong and Taehwan’s messages.

“Hyung please, why? Tell me why?” 

“Sorry Joong-ah it’s dangerous, too dangerous, I love you but please understand” 

Those were the only messages in the chat, Seonghwa looked over to Hongjoong’s sleeping figure and frowned a little.

“So they did break up” he mumbled, he quickly copied Taehwan’s number and covered his friend with the blankets, he turned off the lights and left his apartment, he immediately called Taehwan’s number without hesitation.

The older picked up immediately, almost as if it was out of instinct.

“Taehwan Hyung, I think we need to talk,” Seonghwa said.

“Seonghwa? What’s up” Taehwan replied.

“What’s up? What’s up? My friend is broken as hell and all you can say is What’s up? Hyung you need to explain what is going on, if you don’t tell me then I will never let you meet Hongjoong again” Seonghwa said in an angry tone.

He was protective of Hongjoong, he had always been… Hongjoong was his first love, after all, he hated seeing the boy in pain.

“... Okay, but we can’t meet at my place, it’s too dangerous” Taehwan finally spoke after a long silence.

The two agreed to meet at Seonghwa’s place, and it was pretty much easily hidden as he lived above a shop and no one really knew that the apartment on the second floor was just that, an apartment.

When Taehwan showed up Seonghwa was quite surprised, he looked worse than Hongjoong, if that was even possible, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days and he was quite beat up in general.

Seonghwa invited him in and made some tea, he was going to make coffee but it seemed like the older was overly anxious and he really didn’t think that giving coffee was a good idea.

“So talk…” Seonghwa said in an annoyed tone, but then calmed himself a little, “I’m listening, I am worried for both sides, please” Seonghwa basically pleased.

It took Taehwan a few seconds to gather himself. 

“I’m not in the mafia, I’m not a gangster… I’m an undercover cop, right now a bunch of stations across the country is gathered together working on this mission, and at first, this mission wasn’t a big deal, we were able to pull it off without a problem, we have been working on it for 3 years already… but recently thing have gotten worse” Taehwan started, Seonghwa was surprised he never thought that the man was a cop he sure didn’t look like one.

“They started targeting people close to those in our organization, if we went out with someone we would get photos of us together and threats towards those people, a few guys I live with have gotten them already… when I went to Hongjoong’s parents, - his father is my boss - the more I saw him around his parents the more my love grew, seeing that side of him was special and I could feel myself getting more and more attached to him, but that’s the problem… getting attached” 

“If I get attached to him, I will only put him in more danger, as long as I don’t meet him and I am far away from him he won’t get hurt, he will be safe… he needs to be safe, no matter how much I suffer Hongjoong needs to be safe because if something happened to him I would be a failure as his boyfriend, as his childhood best friend as everything I am supposed to be, I am supposed to protect him but I can’t… I can’t protect him and I don’t want anything to happen to him but I hate it, I hate not being with him, I hate not waking up next to him in the morning, making lunch for him, texting him, and calling him… I hate it so much” 

That was the point when Seonghwa realized… they were equally broken, but Taehwan might be more than Hongjoong was, the older broke down in front of him the tears kept coming and they wouldn’t stop. He had never seen a man so big and intimidating cry like a baby.

It was something he wished he didn’t have to experience, Taehwan just wanted to keep Hongjoong safe, even if he didn’t go about it the correct way, his intentions were to keep his best friend safe and for that, he had no right to be angry at him or to be annoyed because if he was in the same situation he would do it as well.

“Hyung… did you know that I loved Hongjoong at one point, it was just after we met for the first time, we were in high school and somehow I found myself falling for him so fast, and becoming protective of him, but slowly that love turned into familial love and now Hongjoong is like my brother, I hate seeing him like this, he doesn’t understand it, so please talk to him properly, I’m sure if he understood what was going on, he would be more understanding about the situation… he wouldn’t be as broken right now,” Seonghwa told the older.

“I can’t contact him Hwa, if I do they can find him,” Taehwan said, his voice breaking once again.

“Then use my phone, go call him, talk to him as long as you need but just clear things up please” The older nodded a little, Seonghwa was right if he left things like they were now, once this mission was over and he could safely approach Hongjoong again, the boy might hate him if things weren’t cleared up properly.

So he took Seonghwa’s phone and he called the boy, and surprisingly he answered, they talked for hours, a lot of tears were shed but everything got cleared up, Hongjoong told him he would wait as long as he had to and that he loved the boy so much that he should please be safe and meet him again soon.

Although it was something Seonghwa was hesitant over from the start, it was for the best at least he knew now that his best friend wasn’t dating a gangster, so that made him feel a little relief, he just hoped that the two would meet again soon, that they would be happy again soon.