PART IV - (5/?)

Montreal, Quebec, CAN (1994)

“She’s what now?” Wheein thinks she must have misunderstood it. 

“Shuhua is Joohyun’s daughter.” Hyejin repeats, looking back at Wheein. Oh, she didn’t get it wrong.

"Wow, that's... wow. That's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, I didn't expect it, but... that can't be bad? Can it?" Wheein knows that if she keeps talking she's going to ramble, so she thinks it’s best to let Hyejin do the talking.

"Joohyun is gone." Damn. Wheein swallows hard and feels her head floating. A headache is on the way.

"I know it must be hard for you, but I have to ask, Hyejin. What do you mean gone?" She needs to be sure.

"Dead. She died. In the car accident I mentioned earlier." Hyejin is staring at her - or through her, Wheein is not sure, her eyes seem hollow. She’s also biting her lip for what Wheein assumes is to hold back the tear. 

"Oh." Wheein knew what the answer would be but it didn't make it any easier to believe. For a second she let herself hope that what Hyejin meant was that Joohyun might have just taken off and left her kid behind. But she knows pretty well that Bae Joohyun would never do that. Joohyun is dead. Hyejin's best friend is gone. Forever. "I... I'm really sorry."

"I know. Everyone is." This time Wheein gives in and holds both of Hyejin's hands over the table. She doesn't care that Shuhua or anyone else might see, and Hyejin apparently doesn't either. Not this time. "It's been a long time, you don't have to worry. I've already... accepted." Hyejin breaks eye contact.

"Still. I'm sorry you had to go through that." The shock is still fresh and Wheein isn't sure if she should ask more about it. "But, Hyejin... how...?"

"I thought we knew everything, Wheein." Once again Hyejin seems to read her mind. "As you already know, Joohyun and I were taught many things when we were younger. We thought we had all the knowledge we needed, but the truth is that we don't know ." Now her voice is filled with... anger. Probably a bit of resentment? Wheein isn’t sure. "She fell in love with a mortal. And at first we didn't think it was an issue because we were taught that the problem was only if two immortals got together. They'd made each other vulnerable. There was no other way, that was the only rule."

"But there is another way..." Wheein wonders aloud and it sends shivers through her spine. That sentence alone answered some of the questions she had hid deep inside her ever since she started to know the truth, but that was definitely not how she wanted to find out. It also hastened the thought that she has to tell her friends the truth as fast as possible. "How did you find out?”

"She got pregnant."

"Shuhua." Wheein states.

"Shuhua." Hyejin nods. "That's when we realized something was wrong because immortals don't get pregnant. Not like that. Taking my parents as an example, I was only born after they gave up their immortality and decided to be together for real."

"Yeah, I remember you've told me that." Wheein painfully recalls this particular example which was once used by Hyejin in the past. That night still haunts her.

"At first we thought the rules had changed but in fact we just never really knew them at all. We'll never know the whole truth about ourselves, Wheein, that's when I accepted it." She stares at their intertwined hands on the table. "Joohyun was having a baby with the man she loved. It was very conflicting for her. She thought about ending everything and running away more than once, but she didn't know what would happen to the baby and she... she already loved her. She loved them both. So that was it for her. She was happy. After Seulgi, she thought she would never love anyone like that again, but she did. Everything came to place in her life, it was beautiful to watch."

Wheein couldn't bring herself to say anything, so Hyejin just kept going.

"I was happy for her." Hyejin looks at Wheein again as if she's trying to make sure she sees the sincerity in her face. "I really was. She deserved happiness. And I promised that I would stay with her, that I would support her no matter what. I even liked the guy, you know. Taecyeon. He was great to her, and they lived many happy years together. Also, the idea of being an aunt made me really glad. It was something new but it filled my heart with joy." The sad smile she has shown a few times tonight makes an appearance again. "But I… I didn't keep my promise. Shuhua was five when I left. I was still happy for them, Joohyun had a beautiful family but I never saw myself as someone who’s a one place kind of person. I went back to traveling and Joohyun understood, supported me even. She got what she wanted and I got what I wanted.” A pause as Hyejin seemed to be having flashbacks, tears rolling down. Wheein didn't dare interrupt. “We had an arrangement. We always kept in touch, we talked on the phone every week and I came to visit sometimes. We still were best friends, no distance could ever change that. But another thing did. One day... one day she didn't answer my call.”

Hyejin pauses to catch her breath. She feels as if a dagger has been driven right through her heart all over again. It’s suffocating. The only thing that keeps her grounded is the feeling of Wheein's thumb making small circles on her palm, bringing her back to reality.

"It wasn’t something unusual, she had missed a few of my calls before, but I just knew something was wrong that time. I… felt it, you know? I called for a week straight, no answer. Another week and still no answer. Then I came back here, to Montreal, where they lived, only to find that she was gone." Wheein still doesn’t know what to say. Nothing she could think of would be the right thing so she just squeezed Hyejin's hand hoping to pass on some comfort. "The rest you already know. Shuhua went to her grandmother's and I never left Canada again. I've been trying to look after her since then. Not only because I know that's what Joohyun would want but also because Shuhua deserves it. It was quite difficult at first because she had very few memories about me. The only thing she knew was that I was a friend of her mother. Now, after a great amount of effort and a few failed attempts, she sees me as a friend of hers too. She really is her mother's daughter. And I just want her to be everything she wants. Nobody deserves it more than she does."

After listening to everything carefully, Wheein notices that her eyes are teary as well. She thoughtfully pulls her hands back so that she can wipe them dry.

"I can only imagine all the pain you’ve been through." She says truthfully. "Both of you, actually. I'm really sorry, Hyejin."

"Thank you." Hyejin takes a sip of her wine. A ‘sip’ being an understatement since she drinks the whole glass at once. "I'm fine but Shuhua... It's still hard to understand her sometimes. I just want her to be okay."

"Is she-" Suddenly another thought hits Wheein like lightning. If the answer is yes, this whole plan wouldn't work. Hyejin knows that.  "Is she an immortal?"

"No." She’s blunt and Wheein doesn't know whether it is a good or a bad thing. She can't help but think that it makes Shuhua just one more number to the list of people Hyejin will lose. Wheein can't put into words how much it breaks her heart. "That's part of why I want her to live her dream. Have some stability and live a good life. Soon enough I will have to leave her too. I'll leave because I can't stay and watch..." She doesn't need to say the rest.

"So she doesn't know anything. About you, about her mother..." Wheein isn't asking.

"No, she doesn't. She'll never know."

"You can tell, Hyejin. If you trust her... you can tell. At least so you don't have to say goodbye to her too. If she knows, you can live by her side until-"

"I won't!" Hyejin shakes her head firmly. "How am I going to tell her that her mother gave up immortality for her? If she was still alive it would be a beautiful story, of course, I'd love to tell it myself. But Joohyun died before she had the chance to see her daughter become a woman, and the daughter in question already has too many problems on her plate to also have to deal with the guilt that I'm sure she would feel with this information. I know her, she's better off this way."

"I understand." Wheein wouldn't dare question her decision. She has enough secrets of her own to judge someone else for keeping something. "Actually, I don't understand one thing. How can you have known her since she was a child and she still doesn’t realize that you haven't changed? You don't age."

"I wasn't really present in her childhood." Wheein can feel regret in Hyejin's tone. "I mean, when I was here she was too young to remember. When I came back she was already a teenager, and it hasn't been that long. Anyway, I think I still have a few years left before anyone starts to suspect anything."

"Oh, okay." Wheein nods. "Makes sense."

A round of applause filled the room again and they both realized that the show had come to an end. Hyejin promptly stands up to applaud and Wheein follows her lead. Shuhua smiles at Hyejin before leaving the stage.

"Should I introduce you guys now?" Hyejin suggests.

"I- ah- actually..." Wheein stutters under Hyejin's keen gaze. She definitely wants to meet Shuhua but after everything she just heard she doesn't think she's ready for that right now. Even though she hadn't been that close to Joohyun, she would need at least some time to be able to look into her daughter's eyes without falling apart. It was a lot to take in at once. "Tomorrow. Yeah, let’s leave it for tomorrow. I'll bring Moonbyul and Yongsun, it's better if we're all together. Shuhua may get somewhat suspicious given my relationship with you. You said yourself, she’s stubborn. She might not accept it if she thinks it’s your doing. But once she sees three businesswomen willing to get to know her talent she won't be able to deny it."

"You think so?" Hyejin doesn't seem to notice Wheein's tension.

"Trust me. When Moonbyul talks to her I’m sure she’ll ask for a pen before the contract is even ready." Wheein smiles through her nervousness.

"I trust you." Hyejin sits down again but Wheein doesn't. She feels like she can't stay there any longer. Not even Hyejin's presence eases her current restlessness.

"I should go."

"Already?" Hyejin doesn't hide her disappointment. She wants more time with Wheein.

"I had an audition last night - it was horrible, by the way - so I stayed up late and I woke up way too early to go to the company today, I'm exhausted. But I'll be back tomorrow, I promise, and I'll bring reinforcements."

"I can't wait." Hyejin grins but Wheein can see right through her. She's obviously nervous, and Wheein believes it's due to her upcoming meeting with Moonbyul and Yongsun, who hadn’t been exactly friendly the last time they saw each other.

"They're cool." Wheein tries to reassure her. Hyejin has read her mind so many times today that she’s glad she can do the same at least once. "Don't worry."

"Easier said than done." She replies with an uneasy smile that for some reason Wheein finds it cute.

They bid their goodbyes with a brief hug and Wheein leaves the venue without looking back, therefore not seeing the way Hyejin watches her every move until she disappears in the doorway. Hyejin is left with a mixed feeling in her chest. She's happy things seem to be on the right track for Shuhua but she doesn't want to get her hopes up. She still has a monster to tame and said monster is Shuhua herself.

She is also happy with how things are going with Wheein. They didn't have to make small talk or bypass any kind of awkward silence, they managed to keep a nice conversation going like the old friends that they are. Yep, it still sounds weird, she thinks, but that's it. That's all.

Besides, finally being able to share everything that had happened to Joohyun with another person was quite freeing, to say the least. Since she’s never left Canada in the past years, she hadn't been able to meet or talk with the other few immortal friends she had, therefore she's kept it to herself for all of this time. Actually, she never really wanted to talk about it. Not until Wheein. Hyejin told herself that she only told Wheein about it so that she would be even more aware of the dangers they might face, hoping that it would at least encourage her to tell the truth to Moonbyul and Yongsun sooner.

But the truth is that Wheein is different. Hyejin always wants to talk things over with her. Anything. No matter how difficult. Days, years or decades will never change that.

Hyejin knows she’s doomed. 

"I thought I was going to finally meet your friend today." Hyejin is pulled out of her wander.

"She's coming back tomorrow, I'll introduce you then."

"Mystery girl strikes again." Shuhua throws herself into the chair Wheein had occupied earlier. Yuqi, Shuhua's friend, is still on stage, playing the piano as people are slowly starting to leave.

"As I’ve already told you, her name is Wheein.” Hyejin scolds her with a look. Shuhua ignores. “Quit playing around like this. Both of you. Tell Soyeon to stop too."

"You're her boss, you tell her." She scoffs and Hyejin rolls her eyes. "How’s the show?"

"Amazing."

"You always say that."

"You always ask." Hyejin smiles fondly. "Wheein thinks so too. She's bringing her friends from the record company tomorrow so they can see you." Hyejin feels like it’s best not to keep it a secret this time. She has relayed very little information to Shuhua so far, it’s time for a change.

"What??? Are you kidding? She has contact with a record company?" Shuhua's face lit with excitement.

"She owns a record label." Hyejin clarifies and briefly tells a much less detailed version of her relationship with Wheein. Until now, Shuhua only knew her as María’s 'mysterious friend', but Hyejin made a point of making it clear that they weren't that close anymore, trying to sell it like they’re just a couple of friends who had lost touch but managed to resume contact by chance, just recently. "You need to know that I wasn't the one who invited her to see you, at least not at first. Roger set her up to see you on the very day you couldn't make it. I just asked her to come again, to give you another chance. Since you don't believe what I say, I ask that you believe Roger, at least. He knows you deserve it, or else you wouldn't be on that stage again."

"María, you know I trust you, it's just that..." Shuhua is ready for the same old speech. She is too close; she can be biased; she likes Shuhua too much to have an impartial opinion; she needs to make it on her own, that's what her mother would want. Blah blah blah. Hyejin doesn't let her even start.

"I know." She cuts in. "And I'm sure that tomorrow you'll finally believe everything I tell you. Wheein is bringing Moonbyul and Yongsun, her partners. You've already impressed one of them, only two more to go. You just have to do what you did today and they won't resist you. I'm sure." She beams at the younger one and Shuhua returns the smile with a nervousness one. Behind the mature and independent facade she puts on, Hyejin can see that deep down she’s just an insecure kid with a dream. Her heart warms even more knowing that said dream is getting close to becoming true now. It’s only a matter of time. 

Not far from there, Wheein enters her apartment and finds Ggomo waiting for her on the couch. She pets him before walking into the bathroom to take a very needed hot bath to organize her thoughts. That’s all very confusing to Wheein. There was a time when she thought that if anyone had all the answers, that person would be Hyejin. In the past, when they were apart, she often caught herself wishing that she could have at least one conversation with the singer just to get the answers she needed. But now, with everything she's heard tonight, she knows that no one, no one at all, will ever have all the answers about her. About them. 

Joohyun has a daughter. She had a daughter. Joohyun is dead now. The woman who was Hyejin's rock for so long had left her forever, no chance of coming back.

Wheein has only dealt with grief once, so she doesn't know how to cope with this kind of thing. It'd been so long that it’s almost as if she remembers what happened through someone else's memories, not her own. The woman who raised her died at an advanced age. She didn't know her mother, her father, or any relatives, so this woman was the only parent figure she’s ever had. By the time she lost her Wheein had already found Moonbyul and Yongsun, so they helped her through all of that pain. They've been her world ever since, and they can't die, so that never has been a concern of hers before. 

Except that now it looks like they can and that's all Wheein can think about right now. Is it selfish? Probably, but she’s been using this word to describe herself for so long that it seems more like a personality trait than an actual flaw. Wheein tries to put herself in Hyejin's shoes, but she can't imagine going through the same situation and... surviving. At least Hyejin still had Shuhua. That seems like enough encouragement to keep going, but in Wheein's case, Moonsun is all she has. She could never... no. She has to stop thinking about it before it gets out of hand. Nothing is gonna happen. They’re okay. They’re fine. 

The fact that Hyejin went through all of this all by herself breaks Wheein's heart into more pieces than she can possibly count. If there's anyone in the world who didn't deserve that, it's her. But damn, that's not what she should be thinking about either. Things are going well with Hyejin, she's finally going to sign a good artist again and Moonbyul and Yongsun are fine. She doesn't have to worry about that.

Still, Wheein just knows that she won't be able to fall asleep anytime soon. She paces around the kitchen taking glances at the phone over the counter for almost an hour before finally giving in. It's late and Wheein isn't sure if the number she has is a landline or a cellphone. Would she still be in the restaurant to answer? Or would she even have her cell phone in hand? It's a Saturday night, after all. What if she had other plans after? it, maybe she should try anyway. And she does. The line, however, rings several times with no answer. Wheein’s about to give up when a voice on the other end finally speaks.

"Hello?"

"Hey." Wheein smiles even though Hyejin can't see. 

"What's up?" Hyejin asks automatically. She doesn't have to ask who it is.

"Nothing. Sorry, I know it's late."

"No, it's fine. I wanted to call you to make sure you got home okay but..."

"I haven't given you my number yet." Wheein shakes her head and facepalms herself, cursing at her own foolishness. Hyejin just laughs. She must have noticed Wheein's self-deprecating tone.

"Why are you calling? Is eve