PART IV - (4/?)

Montreal, Quebec, CAN (1994)

Wheein spends the better part of the next day sitting by the landline that rests on the kitchen counter. She stares at the piece of paper which reads "María", printed in a delicate familiar font, as if Hyejin herself had written in what is actually a business card. The back of the card has The Palace's logo and a phone number that she has practically memorized by now, from just how much she’s been looking at it.

Once Moonbyul and Yongsun left for the company, Wheein fell - once again - into the impasse of whether or not to contact Hyejin. Maybe her mind wasn't as made up as she thought last night. Wheein thinks that perhaps she should wait a few days so as not to seem too desperate, right? But what if she waits too long? Is it likely that Hyejin will change her mind? Maybe she has already regretted the proposal, after all, it was in a moment of weakness. Emotions were running high, it is possible that she will just give up, or worse, not even answer. But Wheein has to try. She owes Hyejin at least this much.

After fighting an internal battle for hours, Wheein finally gives in and, in an act of pure impulse, she takes the phone off the hook and dials so fast that she thinks she has pressed at least one wrong number, because it takes a fraction of a second longer to start to ring.  

"What is it now?" Hyejin's unmistakable voice is heard on the other end, but she doesn't sound very happy.

"Hyejin?" Wheein asks even if she already knows the answer. 

"Wheein?" Her tone of voice changes altogether.

"Is it a bad time?"

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I thought it was someone else, I wasn't expecting it." She realizes that it may have sounded wrong so starts to ramble, trying to correct herself. "I mean, I was expecting your call, I’m the one who asked you to call. The thing is that I was talking to someone else just a second ago and I thought they’re calling bac- You know what? Nevermind! I wanted you to call- It was just a work thing, no big deal. I did want you to call. I'm glad you did." Hyejin closes her eyes shut and metally curses herself for not shutting the up sooner.

"That's okay, I can call another time since you're working."

"No! It’s fine, you can talk now, I'm all ears." Hyejin answers in a haste and they both go silent. The hiss of the call being the only sound they can hear for quite some time, leading Hyejin to think that Wheein hadn't listened. "Wheein... are you there?"

"I want to try." Wheein says suddenly. It took all of her willpower to manage to let these words out.

"You want to... try?" Hyejin is taken by surprise. She can't believe what she’s hearing.

"About what you said in the car. About us being..." Why is it so hard to say the word out loud? It's not a bad word, Wheein. She thinks after she fails to pay attention to the hopeful tone in Hyejin's voice just a second ago.  

"Friends." Hyejin says and closes her eyes as she shakes her head. Friends. Of course.

"Yeah, that." The line goes silent for a while. "Is the offer still standing?"

"Sure, I'm just surprised. A good kind of surprised, of course. I didn't think you would call so soon but I’m glad you did." Hyejin really thought it would take days or maybe weeks before Wheein made up her mind, taking into consideration how she was a nervous wreck the day before.

"I talked to the girls last night and came to the conclusion that I can't avoid this." Wheein obviously doesn't tell that she couldn't bear to even think about walking away from Hyejin again. "I like you too much for that." Oops, this last one slipped out. She scowls and curses herself as she hurries to complete. "As a friend. I think we can do this. It might take a while but I really want this to work out." She’s grateful that Hyejin can't see how red her cheeks are over the phone. Get a funking grip, Wheein, for s sake!

"Okay." Hyejin consents, not exactly knowing how to start. She really thought she would have more time to think about how to proceed on this friendship topic, but right now she believes that honesty might be the best way. "I don't know how to get this started, Wheein, I kind of said that out of impulse.”

"Do you regret it?" Wheein dreads the answer. The word ‘impulse’ has crossed her mind more than a few times since yesterday and it doesn't sit right with her. 

"No, of course not. I really want this to work, I just don't know how."

"Start by telling me more about Shuhua." Wheein thought about it last night. It would be a good start taking into consideration that Hyejin has made it clear that this girl is an important person in her life. Besides, she needs to know more to make sure that this one little thing that’s been bugging her is not that big of a deal that her brain is trying to make her believe.

"Oh, okay, what do you want to know?" Hyejin wasn't expecting this subject.

"I don't know, whatever you want to tell me. It seems like you guys are pretty close." She plants the seed and waits for Hyejin.

"We are." She doesn't elaborate and Wheein frowns again. She feels ridiculous.

"That's good, pretty good. She's beautiful and she has a wonderful voice."

"Yeah, she's amazing. Roger ended up forgiving her too so she'll be performing here a few more times."

"That’s good to hear. I didn’t really have the chance to actually enjoy her last performance."

"How about you come here to see her again?" Hyejin really wants to see Wheein again soon but she doesn't want to pressure her. Talking over the phone isn't really her thing and if this friendship thing is really going to work, they should be able to hang out in person. "We can get something to eat and talk.” She avoided the term 'have dinner' because for some reason she felt like it would sound too much like a date - and it wasn't going to be one, no matter how much she wanted it to. “Also, I want to tell you more about her, too. I think you'll want to hear what I have to say." 

"Will I?" Wheein doesn't know what she means but somehow she knows Hyejin’s right

"Yes." The way Hyejin is just throwing out loose information without explaining anything is driving Wheein crazy.

"Fine." She just complies, running a hand nervously through her hair and trying not to make assumptions about what this might mean. "When?"

"I'll let you know."

"Okay."

"Alright."

"I'll let you go back to work, then."

"Bye, Wheein."

"Bye, María." Wheein hears a giggle coming from the other side and her heart warms up a little. "Seriously, where did you get this one from?"

"I'll tell you when I see you in person."

"So I can’t wait."

"Me too.”

"Bye."

Wheein puts the phone back down with a smile on her face. For the first time she’s actually starting to believe that this can really work.

Although she’s kind-of-happy with how things are playing out, the Shuhua topic dwells in a dark side of Wheein’s mind: why did Hyejin guarantee that Wheein would want to know more about her? Why does Hyejin care so much about this girl, anyways? And why is Wheein even having those kinds of thoughts about them since all she and Hyejin will be are friends? She doesn’t have an answer for the first two, but the last one is clear: she isn’t. She can't. She won't. She has to shut down these thoughts for the sake of their yet to be friendship. Easier said than done, tho. The Shuhua issue still keeps Wheein awake for a couple of nights.

Still, Wheein tries to ignore the unease feeling that she has come to know as jealousy because of two things. One: she knows that it's wrong and that she has no right to it; and two, and that’s a pretty weird one:  there is something about Shuhua - she doesn't know how or why - that makes Wheein just... sympathize with her? Maybe it's the familiar vibe she passes off, or maybe it’s just the way she was ready to put everything on the line for Hyejin the moment those cops showed up at the bar the other night, just as Wheein herself wanted to. She can’t quite can’t put her finger on it. At the same time this girl bothers her, she also has an indecipherable feeling about the young singer. Wheein hopes she can find why soon. 

Wheein is also looking forward to actually being able to hear Shuhua sing. The first time, while she did get to hear her a little, Wheein couldn't quite enjoy the show since her anxiety got the best of her. Wheein thinks that perhaps she's the first person with real talent she has seen since she arrived in Montreal. Besides, she really, really wants to see Hyejin again. Even though she’s pretty nervous, she really wants to know if this friendship dynamic is going to work out. Obviously, she doesn't expect them to get everything right overnight, but this will be the first test. The first time she will look at the singer in the eyes after throwing up all of her feelings. After getting the bitter taste of bad luck that surrounds them due to the nature of their beings. It will work , she keeps telling herself, it has to work.

Days went by, however, without any new calls. At least none from Hyejin. Wheein hangs around the kitchen more often than usual, staring at the phone on the counter as if it will make it ring. She still goes out some nights, for work, but avoids leaving the house during the day, in case she gets the call . Even her fun nights with Moonbyul and Yongsun got moved downstairs, to her apartment, with the excuse that Wheein's brand new couch should be enjoyed at its fullest since she paid good money for it.

Wheein also tells her friends a little more about her last meeting with Hyejin and the phone call in which they agreed to talk again soon. She may have also complained once, twice or maybe seven times about how long it's taking for Hyejin to call her back, but her friends did not judge her on any of them. Moonbyul even suggested Wheein should call Hyejin again and Yongsun said it would be interesting if they went back to The Palace for a dinner date, the three of them. Both ideas were rejected by Wheein. She took the first step, it was Hyejin's turn to take the next. If the singer has regretted the offer or simply forgotten about her, Wheein won't be one to force any kind of relationship between them, no matter how much it'll hurt.

More than a week later, Wheein is awakened by quiet knocks on the door. If she hadn't been sleeping in the living room, she doubts she would have even heard it, but since she slept on the couch the noise reached her ears easily. She reluctantly opens her eyes and considers closing them again, but she notices that she forgot to close the curtain the night before. A stupid move, if you ask her. The sunshine outside is illuminating the whole living room in a way that is no longer suitable for sleeping: she’ll have to get up anyway. So, with grunts of displeasure and crawling out of the blanket, Wheein lazily opens to the door without even looking in the peephole, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey!" Ahn Hyejin is standing outside.

"Hi?" Wheein is too surprised to say anything else.

"Hi. Is it a bad time?"

"Yeah - No, I mean. Sorry, I just woke up. What are you doing here?" Realizing that the question might have come off a little thick, she tries to fix it. "I mean, wanna come in?"

"Sure." Wheein hadn't had the time to notice before, but now she’s feeling self-conscious. She's wearing a t-shirt way too big for her - so big that it completely covers her shorts - and she's sure her hair is anything but neatly done. She thought it was a good idea to drink alone the night before, after coming back from a bad performance in an even worse restaurant on the other side of town. She drank herself to sleep while binge watching lame movies on TV, so her living room is a complete mess. The floor has more empty bottles than she's proud of and the covers are still lying on the couch where she slept with Ggomo. Still, it was too late, she had already opened the door further and moved out of the way so Hyejin could come in.

"Nice place." Hyejin stops in the middle of the room and looks over at the large window that provides good light throughout the apartment.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting any visitors. Usually it doesn't get this messy." She blushes watching Hyejin look around.

"Oh, no, I'm not talking about it. I meant that it's a really great apartment, it's hard to find places like this."

"Uh, right. Yes, Moonbyul and Yongsun live upstairs and I was lucky enough to find this one unoccupied." Wheein spent the last minutes subtly trying to fix her hair and straightening her shirt to make it look less crumpled, but with no luck.

"That g- oh, who’s that guy over there?" Wheein is confused for a moment but then she turns at the direction Hyejin is looking. Ggomo is by the kitchen counter, walking over them in small and wary steps, since there is an unfamiliar presence in his house.

"Oh, right, that’s Ggomo."

"Ggomo?" Hyejin tests. "Hey Ggomo- he's beautiful." She tells Wheein and then turns back to the cat. "You're so cute, come here, boy."

"He's not used to visitors, I don't think he'll be very welcoming- ah, he's already in your arms. What?" Wheein was worried that Ggomo could be hostile to Hyejin but in less than ten seconds she's holding him in her arms as if he was hers. Wheein feels a little betrayed, if she’s being honest.

"Sooo cute." Hyejin takes the liberty of sitting on the couch as she pets the cat on her lap.  "Is he yours?"

"Er..." Wheein thinks that 'I don't know, I'm just taking care of him not knowing if it's permanent or temporary thing because my Not Really Ex abandoned him with me' is not an appropriate answer, so she settles for a shorter one. "Yeah, I think so."

"You think?" Hyejin raises an eyebrow.

"It's complicated, I'll explain later."

"Okay." Hyejin just nods as she holds Ggomo up high, playing with him as if he were flying. He seemed to love it. "But I'm surprised, I always thought you were more like a dog kind of person."

"Why?" Wheein almost takes it as an insult.

"You give me puppy vibes." She says without looking at Wheein but still getting a giggle out of her.

"Can you elaborate on that?" Wheein asks, biting her lip to suppress a smile.

"No, not really." Hyejin joins in the laughter and after the moment passes she begins to explain herself. "Sorry for showing up unannounced." Wheein realizes that she had completely forgotten that Hyejin was there on a surprise visit. "I promised I would let you know about Shuhua's new show but I had no other way to let you know since I only knew your address because of the day I got you here. I know I told you I'd call but you didn't give me your number."

"Oh. " Wheein almost facepalms herself. She has been waiting for a call for the past week without even realizing that she hadn't given out her number. It makes her feel stupid, but also relieved that Hyejin came here instead of just waiting for Wheein to call again. “I can’t believe I actually forgot to give you my ing number.”

"I kept hoping you'd notice and give me another call, or maybe you’d show up at The Palace or something, but you didn’t. I didn’t want to seem pushy by coming here but..."

"No, no, it's okay! I'm the idiot here, we get it."

"No, it was just a miscommunication problem." Hyejin tries to make her feel better.

"Yeah, I'm kind of an expert at it." Wheein says under her breath and asks about Shuhua to keep the conversation going.

"She'll be performing next weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, you can come any day."

"I think I already have an audition on Friday, but Saturday sounds good." 

"Great. Saturday it is.” Hyejin finally places Ggomo back on the floor and takes another look around as if she’s finishing a recognizing mission. “I should be going then. Sorry to wake you up, by the way."

"Don't worry. It's about time, I have to go to the company later."

"So I'll see you Saturday?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

For a moment the two of them just stare at each other not knowing what to do. Then Hyejin goes for a handshake at the same moment Wheein moves for a hug, which makes a situation that just a second ago was light and easy turn into somewhat awkward and uncomfortable.

"Sorry." Wheein hastens to apologize.

"It's okay."

"I didn’t mean-, no, I mean, I just-" She stutters, embarrassed and avoiding Hyejin’s eyes,

"Damn it, that's ridiculous, we look like kindergartens." Hyejin chuckles, drawing Wheein's attention, whose cheeks couldn't be any redder. "Come here." Without another word Hyejin throws her arms around Wheein's neck and pulls her into a tight hug. It only takes about five seconds, but it’s enough for Wheein's senses to be invaded by Hyejin's scent, forcing her to be taken somewhere else. Suddenly she's back in Mexico, kissing Hyejin senselessly while she's pressed against her dorm's door at the Olympic village. She doesn't even know if she has hugged Hyejin back because when she comes back to her senses, the singer is already in front of her with a shy smile on her face.

"I..." Wheein tries to say something but Hyejin interrupts her. She's glad she did, because Wheein has no idea what would come out of at that point.

"Friends hug, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it." Hyejin explains herself, since she was the one who tried to give the - in her own opinion -  pathetic handshake earlier.

"I know." Wheein speaks but her voice fails. She has to clear to continue. "I know, it's a learning process for us, I guess. We'll get the hang of it soon enough."

"We will, I'll make sure." She smiles again, and this time Wheein sees more honesty and confidence. "Bye, boy." Hyejin waves at the cat who seems to be watching the scene from the comfort of the couch. "I really have to go now. Work stuff." Then she bids her farewell to Wheein, who walks her out and waits until she reaches the elevator to close the door with a weak goodbye.

Wheein feels dizzy. Hyejin's scent still floats around her and the flashback is still vivid in her brain.

"Damn, I didn’t give her my number again." Wheein curses aloud and gets a meow in return, which she takes as a judgment comment from Ggomo. "You can't judge me, okay? You don't know how hard it is to think straight around her." Another meow. "You know what? I don't owe you an explanation, I'm going to take a shower." And she heads to the bathroom for a much needed hot shower. She needs to think.

Wheein knew from the start that developing a normal friendship with Hyejin would not be a walk in the park, but, on top of that, she really doesn’t