───── ❝ in the mood for love ❞ ─────

𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐘 and I's kiss was brief. Though the softness of her lips lingers around, it's like being electrified continuously. And this is my first kiss!

"Look," she exhaled, piercing her eyes on me. "I'm just telling you because I don't want to run away anymore. The last time I did, it felt like I'm only chasing myself in rounds." I saw her grip on her sling bag, she must've been feeling nervous. "And I can wait," she told me.

I traced Wendy's cheek, her warmth making me cozy. In all honestly, this blonde is a home in disguise. I would like to be sheltered by her.  "Thank you, Wendy," I answered. "I—" then she covered my lips.

"I can wait," she repeated, her eyes filled with courage.

"Can we go outside?" I asked instead, the last row of the auditorium doesn't seem like a nice place to talk about serious matters.

"Aren't you facilitating?" Wendy asks, pointing in front.

"Don't worry, they can manage."

I held Wendy's hand, pushing the door so we could go somewhere quiet. "Ms. Bae, are you going home?" Yeri asked.

"I don't know, can you take over while I'm not here?" I instructed her. A proud smile formed on her lips. "Yes ma'am." I caught the little side-eye she did to see who I am with. She's most likely thinking something else inside her head.

Wendy followed me to the secret spot I know inside the campus. It was an old music room, dusted all over when I first came in. I cleaned it all now since I'm easily allergic to anything. Plus, I want Wendy to be comfortable while we talk.

"This is cool." she pointed at the baroque guitar.

"I'd like you to know what I think," I spoke, making her freeze at her place. "Wannie," I called out then she quickly plastered a forced smile when she looked at me.

"Yeah?"

"Can we sit on the couch?" I asked and she nods her head. When we did, I gently placed my hand at the top of hers.

"When I was in high school, I wasn't interested in love. Not a bit," I started, she seem to be processing what's happening.

"I know that," she answered.

"Yes, well, when you confessed, the first thing I felt was how my heart beats meteorically." Ah, this is hard for me to do. "When you ran away, I didn't process anything for some minutes because I never thought you love me in that way." I slowed the way I talk, stuttering will only decrease the courage I am having. "I never hated the idea. Krystal said the same thing, but with her, I know I can only treat her as a childhood friend I grew up with." Wendy's hand shifted a little so maybe she's uncomfortable?

"Sorry, should I continue?" I queried. She's shivering a little and I don't want to push this if she's not ready. I rubbed my temple to think about what I can say.

"Yes, I—I'm just a little bit stunned you're talking about this," she answered. I traveled my hand to wrapped mine around her fingers. It feels cold and somehow I can feel how timorous she is. I need to carefully choose my words.

"But when you confessed before our graduation, the first thing that came into my mind was," I began to caress her palm. "'Me? To someone like me?' because you know my reputation in our batch. They love accusing me of things after my success. That started my habit of questioning my worth when someone shows too much feelings for me. In my mind, I always tell myself I would never be worth for somebody since people marked myself to myself that I'm not for that. And I did." Ha, this is exhausting. I closed my eyes for a moment and stared at the lovely woman in front of me.

"You don't need to continue, you look anxious." Wendy noticed.

"This is me trying to live outside the box." I returned. If I hold back now, I might not have the chance to let this out again. Besides, I want to clear Wendy and I's problem.

"After that, I'm sure of myself I don't know what love is. I never knew what it feels like, but I know I didn't want to say 'Sorry, I don't feel the same' when you told me you're in love with me." Wendy's eyes start to get teary again. Aigoo, I hate to see her cry but I have to tell her this. "Rather, I would've asked you if you can be with me so I could know. I was envious because you know those lingering feelings." I grinned at the memory. Her hair was shorter then, now, she's keeping it long.

"What I'm saying is, I want to get to know us more!" I almost shouted. Disconcerted, I closed my eyes and I heard Wendy laughing at me.

"Geez, was it that bad?" I hid myself playfully because she won't stop.

"You were cute," said Wendy.

"I think you're way cuter." I retorted, pinching the tip of her nose. "Can I ask?" I looked at our intertwined fingers while waiting for her response.

"You're already asking." I glared at Wendy frivolously. She's still the same.

I took a deep breath.

"Why did you avoid me?" I finally asked. Wendy doesn't seem to be taken aback by what I said. Even so, she looks like she's trying to form proper words before she answers. Her knitted eyebrows look cute while she thinks. Gosh, now I wish we didn't drift apart. We lost so much time.

"I..." she started, her grip tightened. "I was scared to be rejected. Other than that, I can't live with the thought that we might continue being friends and I still look at you differently," Wendy sighs, her thumb began to tap on my knuckle. "That would be like I'm just taking advantage of you. I don't like that. If we were still friends, I might want more than what we have even if you made it clear we shouldn't be. I'm scared I will do something that isn't okay with you." Wendy's voice is becoming softer as she talks, "It might come to the point where I might cross the line I shouldn't cross. I don't want you to hate me for it." she huffed. I didn't know she thought beyond it. To be honest, I don't know what people think when they're in love. That's why it's hard for me to grasp the subject because I'm not sure what to do.

"I'm loss for words," I confessed. Wendy beamed, there was a tranquil feeling radiating from it and I felt okay.

"I am scared too. I don't want to disappoint you. I am not familiar with any of these." I admit. Wendy covered both of her hands with mine, her palms feel warm now. She stared at my eyes, even just by looking back, I can sense the reassurance she's trying to tell. I'm thankful for it.

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Wendy and I went back to the auditorium, sitting at the same place we were before. The last movie just started, In the Mood for Love directed by Wong Kar-Wai. I checked Wendy to see if she's rested.

"Oh, this is my first time seeing this. I only got the chance to watch Chunking Express when we were in high school," she informed me.

"I remember," I answered.

Studying film, Wong Kar-Wai's works are my inspiration. The way he can showcase what love is, even to someone like me who hasn't experienced it just puts me to the edge. Add the dazzling cinematography it has, I can only dream.

In the Mood for Love is about love, betrayal, missed opportunities, memory, the brutality of time's passage, loneliness. The camera works put in the movie seeks solace between Su (Maggie Cheung) and Chow (Tony Leung) amid the paradoxical loneliness of a crowded city. It was... heavy to watch since I felt hopeful throughout the scenes and at the same time, I can't help but admire every shot it has. Like how Su's dresses blend in every background. It was soothing that my eyes were glued to the screen. Though in my opinion, the most important impact it has was from the lighting; the way it gives mood whenever they meet, speak to each other, how elegant Su walks or how suave Chow smokes. Lastly, how Chow whispered his secrets then seals them after his confession. I was in agony when I finished it.

As usual, Wendy is engrossed. She doesn't want to be disturbed when we attend the club film shows before, but I took the opportunity to slip my hand to her. Wendy didn't look anywhere when she returned my action, still, I am glad I'm with her right now. If anything, I want Wendy to tell me everything so I would know or learn what I can do to reciprocate everything she gives.

When 'He remembers those vanished years. As though looking through a dusty window pane, the past is something he could see, but not touch. And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct' showed on the screen, I felt the longing Chow showed. Wendy shifted her gaze on me.

"Wendy, I'm sorry." I returned the look she's giving.

"Why?"

"You must have felt like that for some time in your life after you told me you love me," I explained. I heard her nervous laugh.

"Well, yeah, like the way he regretted not doing something more to pursue Su. I can't help but think I did too, from time to time," she confessed.

Wendy didn't talk about it that much. I noticed she's trying to avoid any despairing subjects to deliberate and I realized she might not want to ruin the night. So, I didn't ask any further other than questions that may be necessary. She looks exhilarated, I would like it if she stays like that.

"We're going to eat pork belly outside. Do you want to join?" I asked when the film showing ended. The people are exiting the auditorium and the members are the only peeps remaining.

"God, no. That'd be awkward." she rejects ardently. I chuckled.

"How about we have our own dinner then?" I insist. Letting our night end like this is not enough for me.

"Okay."

I said goodbye to my co-members before we head out, informing them I can't go because of a certain blonde who attended here. Yeri has this whimsical look while looking at Wendy and I back and forth. I'm sure I will be bombarded with questions once we see each other tomorrow again.

Throughout our walk to the restaurant, Wendy kept on looking at my side and I noticed she was eyeing my hand. Taking all my courage to initiate, I grabbed hers. She was surprised for a second, then a pleased grin escaped her lips.

"You can always my hold me, whenever and wherever you like Wannie." I told her. A tint of pink formed on her cheeks. Gosh, she looks so cute.

Wendy and I entered Jungsik, a Michelin star restaurant located in Gangnam. The place isn't packed considering it's only Wednesday. I requested for us to be seated at the corner wherein we can catch up peacefully without interruption from the other guests.

"We'll split the bill later, yes?" Wendy stated, a server offering us the menu.

"I was the one who asked you out. It's my treat." I assure her since I was also the one who dragged her here.

"Irene," she called out, closing the menu quickly. Wendy leaned in a little closer, seemingly about to whisper, "Can we eat somewhere else? A course for two-person is worth $300. That's my allowance for two weeks. I can't pay you." she innocently says. The way she was looking around to see if anyone's looking was adorable. I pinched her cheeks.

"Stop being so cute." I smiled, holding her hand. "I told you, this is my treat. You don't have to worry." I reassured her. Seeing her happy is more important than the price of these foods. She can even order the most expensive one and I'll happily pay for it.

"Okay, okay, but I'll treat you next." she straightened her body on her seat. "Not this extravagant though." it came as a whisper but I heard it.

"Hey, if you want to treat me tteokbokki at the corner of the street, I'll be glad to do so."

Wendy laughed.

 

 

"What course are you taking?" I queried as we start to eat.

"I'm taking Food and Nutrition at SNU" she proudly responded.

"That suits you!" I felt excited. Ever since high school, Wendy rebukes my choices in food, especially when I eat greasy ones. She would scold me the whole day saying how it will affect me when I grow old. I used to laugh it off, but now I'm proud of it.

"Thanks, that's what I know." she scratched her head. "How about you?" she asked.

"I'm taking double majors, literature plus film and broadcasting," I answered then Wendy looked up to think while munching her food.

"If that's the case, aren't you a busy person? I always knew you'd take something related to film, but I never imagined you'd take two majors." the tone on Wendy's voice didn't sound like she was prying. It was like... she's worried for my sake.

"I can manage."

"Send me your schedule so I could avoid approaching you at a bad time." Wendy requested.

"That's a good idea, let's exchange when we go home." I agreed, Wendy smiling from ear to ear while is full.

"Good?" I checked, talking about the meal.

"Very good!" then she gave two thumbs up.

Our conversation continued, mostly about what we do in college, asking how each of us is doing while we were apart. Throughout our conversation, I felt a familiar feeling. The way Wendy can pull you in a conversation even when the subject isn't really that interesting, that's one of her expertise. I realized it has been a while since someone spoke with me wholeheartedly. The people around me are always too careful in everything they say. Well, except for Krystal and Yeri. I missed this kind of feeling wherein I can say anything to Wendy and she would respond genuinely, pushing me to expound what I meant so she could understand me more.

It's refreshing. I don't want to ruin the mood, but when Wendy's presence finally tumbled in tonight, I know I missed too much. I missed the memories we could've shared if we were never apart, the movies we could've watched, the stories we could've talked about, all the random things we could've spent.

"Holy , is the food that good you're crying?!" Wendy panicked. She moved her chair beside me, grabbing a napkin to wipe the tears on the corner of my eyes.

"Sorry, you waited too long," I muttered, trying my best to stop the tears.

"Oh, Irene. We have all the time to spend from now on. You are worth the wait." Wendy planted a kiss on my head. 

 

Dear God, please guide us. 

 

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[A/N]: 

Happy weekend WenRene pumpkins!

Thank you for the 200 subs, I will always be grateful to y'all.

(♡°▽°♡)