2 updates again, yay!

Please read Ch. 4 first. :)

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2019

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 say when the clock hits 11:11 you can make a wish and it will be granted. Well, I honestly think it's absurd yet now I'm waiting for the time to come. "I only wish for Wendy's healing," I whispered to the air. Will that come true? I wonder.

After Wendy confessed, she ran away from me. I was dazed for maybe 10 minutes before everything sunk in. The view of her back running away was so unfamiliar because she was always facing me, her cheeky smile always on her lips. And now it was the opposite.

When Wendy started ignoring me, I was confused about what should I feel. Should I be sorry? That kept running on my mind. Every time I look at her from afar, I can see how hard she tries to lift her lips upward while talking to her friends. I wonder if she ever opened to someone about confessing to me. That would be much better if that's the case, I don't want her to keep it all in. It will hurt more if she does that.

The idea of love was never for me. I can never imagine myself clinging to someone for my dear life. They will say it isn't normal, but who knows? It might change me.

Once I was sure Wendy and I will never go back to how we were before, I started sitting in front of our classes. I always buy time by taking a nap under the bleachers or inside the club room. Whenever I feel she would be near, I would go to the rooftop, just staring at how fast the world spins but felt slow if you look at it closely. I realized how the silence came back because Wendy isn't around. Sometimes I felt peace, most of the time, I would look at my side and find an empty space. I can feel her absence and it brings a pang on my chest. She's not here anymore, it .

When we graduated, we lost all the communication we established. I never tried approaching her because I'm not the type to bomber a person who ran away from me. At the back of my head, there was a conflicting will to hear her voice again.

Because even if I try to deny it to myself, I miss her.

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PRESENT

Irene pressed the end of the cigarette to her lips and exhaled, she blew the smoke out as she rests her back on the bench. She glanced at her wristwatch and saw the time, 11:11, Wendy's face flashing on her mind. Irene huffed, a poignant feeling spreading on her chest. 

"When will you stop slowly killing yourself?" Krystal shouted as she walks her way to Irene. 

"Says the one who is always late." the brunette returned. She flicked her cigarette to cut the spent ashes away. "I was already dying of boredom while waiting. I don't even know why I always come early knowing I'll meet you." Irene added, groaning to Krystal when she sat beside her. 

"Because you can't wait to meet me. You even enrolled here in Yonsei University just so you could see me." Krystal teased, shuffling Irene's hair. "My dear, dear, Joohyun, just confess to me already," she mumbled, snatching away the cigarette from the brunette's hand. "And I'll throw this." 

"Hey! I just lit that up." Irene fought, but Krystal threw it in the bin already. "What a meanie. At least go here early if you want me to tell you I love you." 

"I might be hopeful if you say it like that," Krystal replied, turning her back. "Let's go?" she instructed, and Irene happily obliged. 

Krystal shook her head continuously, "Aish, my clothes smell like cigarette Irene!" she nagged the brunette. The brunette rummaged through her bag, getting her perfume and spraying it on Krystal's shirt.

"Better?"

"Yes. I know you wore this perfume since we were in high school. What's the name again?" Krystal asked.

"It's Chloe Eau de Parfum," Irene answered.

"I'm going to order one." Krystal opened her phone and searched for it. "Nevermind, I'd rather eat a hundred dollar food than buy a hundred dollar perfume." 

"You're so cheap. For all we know, you have a 7 digit number in your bank account." I taunted, it's always fun to see Krystal all hyped up.

"I can't believe your mom forced me to play with you." Krystal nagged, talking about our childhood memory.

"I think it was the other way around." I retaliated.

"You have a bad memory." She shot back. Hmm, I was sure it was her mom who made us play though.

"I can't be perfect." I looked at her, doing a peace sign with my fingers.

"You're perfect in my eyes." Krystal expressed. There it was again, a gentle warmth radiating from her smile. I had to look away.

"That's cringe. Hurry up, the restaurant will be packed if you don't speed up!" I shouted, running from her to hide the blush on my face. Is this how you feel when you're fully comfortable with someone?

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A familiar scent passing by caught me off guard. I feel nervous all of a sudden because I know what perfume it is. As I check who the person is, I was disappointed to see Krystal instead. 

"Whoa, she smells good," Jisoo said out loud.

"That's creepy of you." I jokingly looked at her with disgust. 

"Hey, I was just stating facts!" Jisoo defended herself and I laughed. 

Another flowery scent passed by, and finally seeing the brunette makes my heart beat erratically. I saw Irene sitting in front of Krystal, they seem to be still in contact after all these years. Well, they're childhood friends anyway.

"Isn't it the model from your club?" Jisoo noticed. "Do you want me to greet her?" she asked, turning her back to check if it is really her.

"No need. She's with someone else anyway." I told her. In reality, I'm just scared to see if there was any movement from their relationship before. The thought terrifies me because I know what happened between them.

I hate the fact that Jisoo eats slowly or maybe the fact that I can see the interaction of the two at the corner of this room. Krystal is smiling a lot and I can see Irene's back shaking from laughing at whatever Krystal is saying. 

Yes, I feel jealous. 

"I'm going to the restroom," I told Jisoo and stood up from my seat. I didn't even feel like doing anything, I just want to avoid the scenarios in front of me. I know it's been a while, but my feelings still feel the same. I was even thankful to Jisoo when she went to the club last time to get me because God knows what I might say to her if Jisoo didn't interrupt us.

"Oh," the door opened. Through the mirror, I saw Irene entering. "Hi?" she greeted in doubt. 

"I didn't know you were here." I lied.

"Yes, I'm having lunch with Krystal," she told me. Irene stood up beside me, opening the faucet to wash her hands. "Hey uhm," I can see the hesitation in Irene even if she's not looking at me. "We will be having a film showing next week, 5 pm on Wednesday at Yonsei University, if you would like to come, just visit the Film and Media Department. I'd be facilitating there," she said. 

"I'm busy on that day, but thanks for the invite," I answered before turning around to exit. Wednesday is my off day, I'm just finding an excuse to not attend. It's now like we're still friends. 

"If you ever change your mind, tell them Bae Joohyun invited you." she insists before I closed the door. 

Joohyun? She uses her Korean name now? 

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Wednesday, 7 PM

To: Wendy

From: Jisoo

Wanwan~ Where are you? Do you want to grab dinner?

 

From: Wendy

To: Jisoo

I'm with a friend. Maybe next time. 

Then I pressed the send button. I can't believe I'm inside Yonsei just to accept Irene's invite. It's not my intention to be late, because I hate those kinds of people. I overslept while I was trying to decide whether to go or not. Welp, I'm already here, it's now or never.

Before entering the building, there was a huge poster which says "2021 FILM SHOWING STARTING AT 5 PM, AUDITORIUM". And so I find my way to the auditorium, there were only a few people outside since it's on-going. A woman is situated near the entrance, presumably the one assisting the guests. 

"Hi. May I help you?" she smiled when I went in front of her.

"Is this the Film and Media Department's film showing?" I asked.

"Yes, do you have an invitation?" I don't. 

"No, but Bae Joohyun said I could attend." there was a change in her facial expression. Like, her boss found out I'm his wife or something close to that. 

"Sorry, I didn't know Ms. Bae invited you. Please come in." she apologized, opening the door for me. I mumbled a thank you before going in.

The seats are surprisingly packed. There were few spots left I could take but seeing the ongoing film, I decided to sit at the back. I might hit a nerve if my back covers the screen as I sit in front. 

It's Makoto Shinkai's 5 Centimeters per Second. When I realized this is the movie, I felt like crying. I already watched it. Seeing Takaki made me think of myself. I kept hanging in the past when I should be focusing on the present. I know I could've listened to Irene after I confessed because she clearly didn't reject me yet. Yet the idea of her rejecting me—puts me six feet off the ground. My high school self would rather break off the friendship than hear her say the words I am scared to accept. Because I don't want her to look at me the way she looks at Krystal after she told Irene what she feels. How Krystal looks dead inside even if she was smiling with her. I don't want to be like that. 

So I tried my best to ignore her. Hang out with other people, shut their questions about what happened to us, tell them we aren't clicking anymore and other excuses I could think of just to escape the truth that I was and am still scared. 

When I entered college, I thought I could start anew. You know, since Irene isn't with me anymore. As days passed, I've come to realize I'm just finding an excuse to hold everything in. I didn't know I started living in my past by remembering her every day, what could've been, how we act together if I told things differently. Those things were more suffocating than waiting for her response when I told her my feelings because I don't know when I could go out in this. 

"Wannie, you're crying," the seat beside me shifted as Irene sat down. She pulled out her handkerchief from her jeans pocket and gently wiped my tears away. "Are you okay? I thought you'll never come," she asked, her hands on my cheeks. "I was waiting." 

I brazenly rest my forehead on her shoulder. Tears forming in my eyes again. It's like every memory of us together flashed on my mind and I'm overwhelmed with my emotions. I don't want to make the same mistake twice again, but seeing Irene being gentle with me just take my will away to go on with my life without her. That's what I told myself when we were apart. 

Irene wrapped her arms around me, caressing my back in circles to calm me down. 

"Irene," I mumbled between my breath.

"Hmm?" 

"I'm still in love with you."

I realized this was 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥. I understood now, the difference, when I kept on thinking whether this was greed or want. My heartbeat thrummed in my ears, my fingertips, my hands squeezed against Irene's hip, and there was a hook in my stomach, dragging her near to the only thing that mattered at this moment. It was almost painful, every inch of my skin aching, the sound of my sporadic breaths mingling through my lungs.

And I closed the distance between our lips.

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[A/N]:

Yes, two updates again because I feel like Ch. 4 is only a filler. Lmao.

How are you all? (╯✧▽✧)╯