Soojin sits on the balcony, a sigh leaving her lips as she watches the moon shimmer at her in the darkness of the night. Haku cuddles into her arms, and Mata lays on the floor by her feet. She was comfortable in the same green hoodie, hood over her head, and hair splayed over her chest out of the hoodie. 

Her girlfriend remains on FaceTime, and Soojin prefers calling her through her iPad so that she could see Shuhua through a bigger screen. 

“They miss you, you know.” Soojin tells Shuhua, running her hand up and down Haku’s body in a soothing manner. 

“Of course they do, they’re my children.” Shuhua responds, a cheeky grin on her lips. 

Her gaze raised to meet Shuhua’s brown orbs that sparkled like the moon, “I miss you, you know.” 

Shuhua’s grin grows, “of course you do, you’re my wife.” 

Soojin’s lips twitched, threatening into a smile, but she held it back, wanting to girlfriend. “Wife? I don’t remember a proposal? Nor a wedding.” 

“Oh, just you wait, baby.” Shuhua smirks. 

Soojin’s eyes widened, growing mum. Yeah, she remembered she was never successful in trying to get Shuhua flustered. The younger woman always found a way to backfire on her, and Soojin ends up being the one flustered instead. 

“Yeh Shuhua,” Soojin clicks her tongue. 

“Ah ah, no no, my love. It’s Seo Shuhua for you.” Shuhua giggles at Soojin’s expressions. 

“I’m kidding, baby.” Shuhua’s grin settles back down to a relaxed smile, eyes looking at Soojin through her own screen with so much adoration that it itches Soojin through her whole body; it practically angered her that she couldn’t touch Shuhua. 

“Am I scaring you with all this marriage talk? I know it’s too soon.” Shuhua says. 

“N-No, I’m not scared.” Soojin brings her hands up to her cheeks, “j-just a bit flustered.”  

Shuhua’s smile widens again, “I see that. You’re turning red, baby.” 

Soojin scoffed, “I am not turning—,” she stopped her words, leaning forward carefully towards the screen to look at her face through the small square at the corner of her screen. “I am not turning red….” Soojin mumbles the words because even though she knew that she was as red as a cherry, she just didn’t want to give Shuhua the satisfaction of successfully teasing her. 

“Tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.” Shuhua softly says. 

“It doesn’t.” Soojin assures her, “I love you.”

Shuhua grins, a happy giggle leaving her lips after hearing those words. “Tell me again. Tell me you love me.” Shuhua says like she always does when Soojin confesses her love to her. She just wants to hear it over and over again. 

Shuhua’s smile drops when she notices Soojin’s failed attempt to hide her change of expression. Even through the screen it wasn’t hard to see the way Soojin’s eyes started to glisten, and the subtle way her bottom lip started to quiver before Soojin tried to hide it by turning to the side. 

“Hey…” Shuhua calls softly. “What’s wrong, baby?” 

“What?” Soojin blinks, trying to feign confusion, but Shuhua just knew her too well. “Something’s wrong.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, telling Soojin that she couldn’t be fooled. 

“What is it? Is there an update on your case? Are you feeling okay? Is it another attack? Tell me what it is, my love?” Shuhua turns serious, straightening her posture and holding the phone close to her so that she could see Soojin closer. 

Soojin thinks, and her silence instills extreme anxiety throughout Shuhua’s body. 

“Baby?” Shuhua impatiently calls for her again. 

“I-It’s nothing… I just miss you, that's all… I got emotional.” Soojin says, waving it off with a smile. Shuhua doesn’t seem convinced, only staring at Soojin, trying to read her. 

“You’re sure?” Shuhua’s eyebrows meet, a frown on her lips. “You’re not lying to me?” Soojin visibly gulped when Shuhua raised her pinky towards her over the screen, “you know I take my pinky promises very seriously, but besides that, I don’t want you to lie to me just so I don’t worry, baby. I know you.” 

“I just really really ing miss you.” Soojin’s voice cracks a little, and she doesn’t hold back on letting her tears fall this time. She successfully dodges Shuhua’s attempt to dig deeper on what was really wrong, and technically she wasn’t lying. It was only half the truth. Soojin really did ing miss her girlfriend. 

Shuhua sighs, “I’m coming home soon, my love. I promise. We’ll be together again in no time.” She purses her lips and kisses her camera three times, “I love you so much.” 

“Together…” Soojin whispers, wiping at her eyes. Shuhua smiles, “yeah, together. Forever. Me and you.” 

Soojin places Haku on the floor next to Mata, “what if one day you decide that you don’t love me anymore?” 

Shuhua frowns again, “impossible. Don’t even say things like that.” 

“Nothing is impossible, Shuhua. You’re the one that tells me that all the time.” Soojin counters and Shuhua’s eyebrows only furrow even more. Of course there was something wrong. Soojin was having doubts. 

“This is. I am telling you… it is impossible for me to stop loving you with all that I am. You’re my forever.” Shuhua’s heart clenches, and she grows teary herself. It pains her to know that Soojin thinks this way. 

“Am I yours?” Shuhua had to ask. 

“I want you to be.” Soojin responds. 

Shuhua smiles, “then I will be.” 

Soojin still doesn’t look convinced, and Shuhua sighs. Oh, what she would do to be able to hold Soojin right now. 

“What can I do to make you feel better? Hm?” Shuhua offers instead. She wanted to be productive in fixing the problem rather than thinking of things that are out of her control. 

Soojin sniffles, “tell me… promise me.. that whatever happens, whatever it may be, you’ll understand me. That you’ll at least try to.” 

“Of course,” Shuhua says, a small chuckle at the end of her words. There was that feeling of anxiety again, but it wasn’t about Shuhua right now. She can’t imagine how much more anxiety and fear Soojin had been feeling these past few months. 

Shuhua sticks her pinky out towards Soojin, lowering her lips to the curve between her thumb and index finger, and placing a kiss onto it to seal her promise. 

“I promise, baby.” 

“I love you.” 

_

Shuhua was back. 

Her return was all over the news, and Soojin had ten days of Shuhua’s quarantine to find out, but she was too wrapped up in everything else to have seen any news of it. 

Shuhua didn’t tell her either, and during their calls, Soojin was oblivious to the unfamiliar grey wall behind Shuhua every night. 

But here she was… standing in front of her with the biggest smile on her face. 

Soojin lets go of the suitcase that she dragged behind her, eyes blinking in shock. “S-Shuhua…” she breathed out. 

Shuhua wasted no time, lunging forward and greeting the love of her life with a long awaited kiss. Her shaky hands cradled Soojin’s face softly, placing constant kisses onto plump lips. 

“God, I missed you.” Shuhua whispered, and Soojin was still trying to comprehend everything that had just happened. 

“S-Shu—,” Soojin didn't finish, as Shuhua enveloped her into a crushing hug. A sigh left Soojin’s lips, and she doesn’t know if it was out of relief because Shuhua was finally here, holding her, or because she was just exhausted. 

When Shuhua relaxes against her, arms loosening, Soojin assumes she had noticed the suitcases behind her. And when Shuhua pulls away, Soojin sees the curious gaze locked behind her. 

“Um…” Shuhua lifts her gaze to look into Soojin’s brown orbs, and the older woman wants to look away. “A-Are you going somewhere?” 

“Y-You didn’t tell me you were coming back.” Soojin whispers, nervously clutching onto the suitcase handles. 

Shuhua tries to read her, head tilting, and eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Where are you going?” 

Soojin bites her bottom lip, “h-home…” 

When Shuhua releases a relieved sigh, Soojin knows she doesn’t understand what she meant. 

“Oh,” Shuhua laughs, putting her hand to her chest. “That’s a good thing, right? That means you and your mom talked and fixed things.” Shuhua smiles again, pulling the older woman towards her again. She just couldn’t get enough. 

“No,” Soojin whimpers, “I-I’m going home…. I’m staying there,” her eyes close shut, “Not here. For good.” 

Shuhua stills against her, and Soojin couldn’t help the tears that start to well up in her eyes. “I-I can’t…” When Shuhua takes a step back, she wonders if she could hear the cracking of Soojin’s heart every step further Shuhua took away from her. 

“I can’t be here anymore…” As soon as the words came out of her, it’s like every tense bone in her body, every willpower that she had been holding onto, just vanished. Soojin’s eyes darted at every corner of the apartment, everywhere but at Shuhua. She couldn’t.

 Soojin just couldn’t. 

“