Chapter Thirteen

Tell Me You Love Me
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TW: mentions of homophobia 



It’s been a month away from each other, and to say the least, it wasn’t getting any easier for the both of them. 


Frankly, the only thing that made this easier for Soojin, was seeing how excited her girlfriend looked whenever she asked about Shuhua’s adventures that day in Taiwan. That’s all Soojin wanted. For Shuhua to spend time with her family, and to be happy at home. 


Soojin thought it was worth it to suffer alone if Shuhua was able to smile and have fun like that, instead of worrying so much about Soojin and her problems. 


Of course, she would never tell Shuhua that. The girl would take the first flight back to her, just to make her take it back and never repeat those words ever again. 


Shuhua always gives her the assurance and comfort that Soojin is most definitely not alone. Even if sometimes Soojin feels like the whole world is against her, Shuhua would say, “then it’s you and me against the world, my love. I’m always on your side.” 


And when Shuhua would say things like that, Soojin wanted to be selfish and tell Shuhua to come home to her because truthfully, she was on the brink of falling apart without the love of her life next to her. 


But Soojin couldn’t be selfish. 


That wasn’t in her nature anyway. 


So instead, Soojin tells Shuhua about how she dreams of an alternate universe where she was able to be selfish and keep her happiness right next to her, and all to herself. 


“I had a dream about you last night.” 


Shuhua was always attentive and focused whenever she was listening to Soojin talk; in person or through the screen. 


“Yeah?” Shuhua’s eyes fondly roamed Soojin’s relaxed features through the screen. 


The older girl had been sleeping in Shuhua’s bed ever since Soojin got back to the dorms. Soojin would tell Shuhua that it always felt like Shuhua was hugging her to sleep whenever she would get under the covers because they smelt like her; soft  peaches. 


Soojin hummed, “do you want to hear what my dream was about?” 


Shuhua waited to answer, adoring the way Soojin shifted on the bed to readjust Shuhua’s green hoodie that was bundled into a hug in her arms. Soojin held it closer to her chest, and Shuhua wished that she was in place of her green hoodie instead. 


“I’m all ears, my love.” Shuhua said. 


Soojin had a small smile on her lips, her eyes closing and another small hum leaving her lips, as she started to visualize what she had seen in her dream the previous night. 


“I don’t know where we were… but it was snowing… and you were wearing my black chuck beanie that you stole out of my closest.” Soojin chuckled to herself, and her mind wandered to clear images of Shuhua running around in the snow, the said beanie securely keeping her head warm from the droplets coming from the sky. 


“There were so many pine trees around us, and a cute little house with a white picket fence.” Shuhua’s smile widened, suddenly realizing what kind of dream Soojin had. 


Their white picket fence dream. 


And maybe… maybe it wasn’t realistic right now, but Shuhua has never been so sure about anything in her life until Seo Soojin walked into her life. 


Soojin is her forever. The love of her life. 


“Haku and Mata were there too. You were chasing them around in the snow, and occasionally, Mata would jump off of the steps that led to our door, so he could dive into the pile of snow.” Shuhua closed her eyes, trying to envision what Soojin was seeing in her head. 


Shuhua hummed, “in this dream… did you have a ring on your finger?” 


Soojin’s eyes opened in slight surprise at the question. “W-What?” 


Shuhua raised her eyebrows, and the serious expression on her face slightly raised some type of anxiousness in the pit of her stomach. “I-I… I’m not sure…” Soojin lifted her head from the pillow, sporting a look of worry, as she waited for Shuhua to continue. 


“We have a white picket fence, and I didn’t propose?” Shuhua gasped, and Soojin blinked, confused. 


“Baby… i-it’s just a dream..” Soojin said. 


“I’d like to think I can be quite the romantic, both in real life and in your dreams, love.” Shuhua reasoned, a small laugh leaving her lips when she couldn’t maintain her seriousness. Soojin rolled her eyes, relaxing back onto Shuhua’s bed. “Shuhua, you’re so dramatic.” 


Soojin flipped onto her back, laying the green hoodie onto her chest, as she stared up onto the ceiling. Her eyes roamed around the white glow in the dark stars and moon that was stuck onto the ceiling by Shuhua. “We had three kids…. the oldest was a boy, already close to his teens. Then, a girl who had the same long hair as you did, and then another baby boy who had just learned how to walk.” 


Before Shuhua could respond to Soojin’s adorable vision of what could possibly be their future, Soojin turned to her side again, eyebrows furrowed. “Hey, I never got to ask you. Do you ever think about how many children you would want in the future?” 


Shuhua hummed, “I have thought about it.” 


“I’ve always been set on at least two, hopefully a boy and a girl. I’ve thought about having four. First a boy, then a girl, and then twins.” Shuhua grinned at the wonderment in Soojin’s eyes as she listened intently at Shuhua’s words. 


“But, of course, that depends on who’s carrying between us. And if it happens to be you, then that’s totally up to you, my love.” Shuhua said, voice so soft and tone so loving. 


Soojin groaned, “why are you so—,” she didn’t finish her sentence, her fingers curling towards her screen, having the urge to pinch Shuhua’s cheeks, but frustrated that she was miles and miles away. 


“God, I love you.” Soojin breathed out, and it was quiet, whispering into the thin air of the room. Shuhua assumes the older woman only said it out loud for herself, as if it was a sense of realization of how deeply Soojin had felt for Shuhua. 


Either way, Shuhua heard it, and her heart was soaring in her chest. 


“And I love you.” Shuhua whispered back, bringing the phone closer to her face, so that it was relayed loud and clear on Soojin’s end. 


Soojin sighed, a heavy feeling in her chest, as they both suddenly got quiet. 


“Jin…” Shuhua called for her. 


The uneasy look on Shuhua’s face made Soojin’s nerves resurface. “What?” 


“I might… I-I might have to stay in Taiwan longer than I wanted to.” Shuhua slowly said, eyebrows worryingly meeting in the middle. 


Soojin didn’t react, but Shuhua could see the disappointment flash through Soojin’s eyes. “Oh.” 


“I’m sorry, baby. It’s just that the company thought it would be a good idea that, since I was here anyway, I could appear in a few shows and photoshoots, so they extended my stay…” Shuhua explained to Soojin, and the older woman hated the fact that Shuhua sounded so apologetic when she didn’t have to be. 


“Which company? The one we’re both under or the one you signed with that I didn’t know about?” It came out of Soojin’s lips like she had no control over it, a bite to her tone. It wasn’t meant to sound so resentful, but that’s how it was delivered, and that’s how Shuhua had perceived it. 


Shuhua sighed, shutting her eyes, “, I knew I forgot to do some—,” Soojin cut her off, sitting up from the bed, and letting out a sigh of her own. “It’s fine. I—, it’s whatever.” Still, the bitter tone remained, and even though Soojin tried to mask the obvious grudge on her face by leveling the camera more towards her collarbone, it wasn’t hard for Shuhua to understand the tension that grew through the screen. 


“It’s not whatever, obviously you’re mad.” Shuhua pointed out the obvious, “I’m sorry, okay? There was just a lot going on at the time, and—,” Soojin placed her phone flat with a thud, onto what Shuhua assumes to be her desk. 


“I-I’m not mad… I’m just—,” 


Shuhua frowned, not being able to see Soojin’s face anymore. Only the top of Soojin’s head, and the tip of her fingers that pressed against her forehead, as her shaky hands covered her face. 


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Chapter 15: I just wanted to let you know that I read this in one sitting. I admire your story telling and how consistent the characters are. You are the bomb and I am crying in the bathroom at 2am because of this.
Chapter 15: crying @2:18 in the morning :<<<<
Chapter 15: Yea im definitely weeping
Chapter 15: I'm gonna cry.
Setfiretoawolf #5
Chapter 15: Cries in gay happiness
Chapter 15: this really came to an end i see, im gonna miss this and this ride was something to remember
Chapter 15: They will be okay, SooShu, our 6 girls, especially our Jinjin, I hope in time, all of them will be okay. That time might not come sooner, but it will come. This is such a sweet way to end a near reality story Author. You've done a great job in describing their emotions. And you did a great job in giving ease and comfort to us Author, thank you very much. 💜🍒
Embee97 #8
Chapter 15: That was so sweet! Thank you!
Josie4456 #9
Chapter 15: Beautiful story, so much emotions…with every chapter, and it really brought so much comfort with all that happened, thank you 💜
Chapter 15: This was such a good story to read. A roller coaster ride, but a really good read. I look forward to all of your future stories!