Eunbi’s muscles ached. It had been a long day at work – not just today, but the last few weeks had been hectic. Jongin’s groups of friends stopped coming. At first, it was only Jongin’s frequent absence that was noticed, until they dwindled down one by one. Chanyeol came every other week, Kyungsoo was present on the weekends for his morning coffee while he studied, Sehun was too occupied with video gaming to ever care, and Baekhyun avoided the café because of Yuli like a plague.

She didn’t mind, not really. But not seeing Jongin anymore saddened her. She loved her work, but it felt different when she had him to see.

Then he stopped coming. All throughout, until Kyungsoo was the only one left – and he never acknowledged her existence – they all disappeared into thin air. Today was one of those days she was overworked and disappointed. Every time the bells chimed, she’d immediately turn around to see who entered, only to have her shoulders deflate when it was anyone but him.

She wondered why he didn’t come anymore. Did the coffee turn bad?

Eunbi dropped it when she realized pondering over what a person thought about did more damage than good. There had been more than one instance where she misplaced a order simply because she kept thinking about Jongin. There were too many what if’s.

What if he avoided me after that incident? What if he regretted talking to me in the first place? What if he dreaded this place – despite his love for black coffee – simply because she was there? What if she never crossed his mind, and she just never mattered to him? What if, what if, what if…

She was never this way. She liked him from afar, and that was enough. Eunbi didn’t care whether he noticed or not since admiring him in a safe distance felt comfortable and safe. As long as he remained unaware of the way her heart fluttered in his presence, then it was the best. He couldn’t reject her, she wouldn’t be hurt – no strings attached.

It was plain and simple.

Until she started wanting more. Until she started wanting him instead of merely liking him.

Eunbi dropped down to her bed with a sigh. A multitude of work waited for her, stuff she refused to do. Her heart ached with longing. It didn’t make sense to her. How could she miss someone that was never hers? Most of all, how could she like someone who never noticed her unless she crashed into him, quite literally?

She turned away, inserting her headphones as she clutched a pillow to herself. From outside, the rain blew harshly on the window. The raindrops clung against the windowpane, the chill breeze filtering through the gaps. Eunbi shivered as she buried herself under a mountain of blankets. The singer’s melancholic voice drifted through her mind, yet the words blurred as she thought of his face.

Eunbi remembered his laugh. The melody resonated deep within his chest, coming out as a husky rumble. His hands were big, veiny, and golden – they made her feel so safe in the fleeting moment of when he held her. She was intoxicated by his scent. He was warm, shining, yet she was never blinded. In fact, his light encouraged her to reach out to him.

But what would happen if she did? What if she burned?

Jihae tapped her on the shoulder. Eunbi took off her headphones, wiping away the stray tear that had fallen. Thankfully, it was dark, and it looked like Eunbi was just rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

Her roommate blinked at her expectantly, “Do you have any plans this weekend?”

“Uh, hold on, I think I have work,” she murmured, pulling out her phone to check her schedule. Eunbi shook her head, “Ah, no, someone took my shift. Why?”

“Jongin invited us to his swim meet this weekend,” Jihae beamed as she bumped Eunbi’s shoulder. “You should go.”

Eunbi tried to keep off the hurt in her eyes. She knew Jongin didn’t care about her, much more remember her. Still, she couldn’t help but feel completely ignored that he had time to invite Jihae to a swim meet and not show up to the café.

She sighed. Eunbi ran her hands down her face. What was she thinking? What was going on with her? She was never Jongin’s friend, and she lived two years in college completely content with their non-existent relationship. Why was she so affected now out of all times?

Eunbi went back down to bed, her cheek pressed on the pillow. Jihae was a happy and social person. It made sense why Baekhyun fell head over heels over her, along with the fact she easily made it through Jongin’s exclusive circle. Of course Jongin wouldn’t invite her. How awkward would it be if she showed up uninvited? Eunbi tucked her headphones back to her ears, eyes closed as the song nearly came to a finish. “Jongin invited you guys. I’m not included.”

“Oh, please, you’re our friend. Besides, Baekhyun is dying to hang out with you. He said you were the great barista who always gave him the best stuff.”

“I don’t know,” Eunbi shut her eyes, silently willing Jihae to leave her alone. “Jongin didn’t invite me himself.”

“Jongin says you’re his friend. It’s really fine, Eunbi.”

“He’s everyone’s friend.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Jihae sighed exasperatedly. Eunbi shuffled closer to her pillow. She knew Jihae meant well and that she wasn’t forcing to Eunbi to ‘come out of her shell’ if she felt uncomfortable, but she didn’t get it. Eunbi didn’t mind. Of course she wanted to go to see Jongin, but what would happen after that? Jihae would most likely be asked to be in the pictures, while Eunbi would be left with the task to take them. The stark difference felt embarrassing. Eunbi didn’t want to stick her nose in other people’s lives. She knew where she belonged and where she didn’t. “But it’d be really great if you came, okay? Jongin would be happy to see you there.”

Eunbi snorted, “Why would he be?”

“Jongin likes making friends.”

“What, so I’m just another addition to his wide circle?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Eunbi pressed her fist to her lids, trying to stop the tears from flowing. She didn’t know why she was so emotional today. She just couldn’t help but feel something dark and ominous stirring in her stomach, one that made her feel like she was going in all the wrong directions. But of course, Jihae wouldn’t understand. She’d try to listen, sure, though she could never relate. It was best to lie, “I’ve just been failing in class lately. Mrs. Jang already gave me a remedial project but it should be by pair. I’m not sure what to do.”

“Maybe you can ask Jongin to be your partner. You guys are classmates, right?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s partnered with either Sehun or Baekhyun already.”

“I know Jongin,” she rolled her eyes, “He’d never team up with those idiots. He knows he won’t get anywhere,” when Eunbi hummed in response, she patted Eunbi’s hips. “So, are you coming?”

Eunbi pursed her lips. The truth was that she didn’t want to go. It was much easier to wallow in her sadness than to actually face Jongin. She wasn’t sure how she’d react after seeing him, or if her thoughts about him might change.

Jihae’s smile was so eager, though, that Eunbi didn’t have the heart so say no. Forcing a smile, Eunbi shrugged, “Only if you don’t ditch me for Baekhyun.”

The smirk on Jihae’s face was priceless. “Babe, I’d punch that idiot in the face before I leave you!”

Eunbi was beginning to regret it. The hall was packed with people, several women and men holding banners as they cheered for their friends. A small pack of cheerleaders stood on the entrance of the hall, their pompoms and hair glossed back to perfection. Someone blew the whistle, signaling the start of the meet.

Jihae gently tugged Eunbi so she wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. Her ears were ringing at everyone’s cheers and screams that she couldn’t even find Jongin. To her, everyone looked the same. The men lined up all had gorgeous frames, their features covered with a cap and goggles. A number of women beside them screamed someone’s name to cheer him up.

Eunbi shrunk back in her seat. Jihae stood up when the gun fired, cheering for Jongin while Baekhyun screeched at the top of his lungs. It was nice that they were having fun.

She turned away from them. A part of her wanted to see Jongin, to support him like his real friends did – was that Chanyeol waving a cutout of Jongin’s face to the crowd? – but she couldn’t. It was noisy. Too noisy. And crowded. Her bum scratched against the seat as people shook and shouted, their shoulders bumping with hers until Eunbi was nearly completely ready to dissolve into thin air.

She didn’t want to be here.

Until she heard his name.

It came from Baekhyun first. Something along the lines of, “Jongin won!” crackled in her ear before she watched the white-haired man pick his girlfriend up by the waist to twirl her. The happiness on Jihae’s face was irreplaceable. Her head was thrown back, arms hanging loosely on Baekhyun’s neck before they stooped down for a kiss.

Eunbi looked away, not wanting to invade their privacy. She fiddled with her jeans instead. The energetic, happy couple made her feel out of place. In fact, the entire hall made her feel out of place.

At the end of the pool, however, Eunbi saw him. Immediately, her shoulders relaxed, the tension on her whole body fading bit by bit. His friends ran down to meet him. Chanyeol kept tooting his horn while Sehun ran around the pool with his shirt ripped open, a temporary tattoo of Jongin on his chest. It caused a lot of girls to squeal in glee at Sehun’s exposed abs.

Even Eunbi flushed at the sight.

It was obvious many people loved Jongin. Her, included, but he didn’t have to know that, did he? Eunbi hugged her arms to herself, a smile plastered on her face. Jihae stayed behind, claiming that it was a ‘boy’s moment’ and she didn’t want to interrupt. She took pictures of them and even gestured for them to wave, until Eunbi saw something that made her heart drop.

It happened so fast she wasn’t sure she’d seen it at all. Jongin, who was radiating with happiness and pride, turned even brighter when she came.

The young woman walked gracefully to him. She, too, looked out of place, but not in the manner Eunbi did. Eunbi looked like she wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, while she strutted like the world was not good enough for. Her pearl designer blouse hung in puffy sleeves, paired with black slacks, black heels, and even more stylish shiny leather handbag. Her black hair was neatly pinned to the sides, accentuating her feminine and soft features.

She was the epitome of grace, beauty, and wealth. Similar to Jongin, she was perfect. She didn’t slip one bit despite the height of her shoes, nor blinked back harshly when Baekhyun snapped photos of them with a flash on. Her red lips smiled up at Jongin. He ran to her then, making sure to not destroy her clothes with his wet skin.

Instead, he bent down to her shorter frame, pressing a kiss to her lips. Eunbi was stunned, frozen. No longer could she hear everyone’s noise or notice the fact someone had whacked her with a bag. Her attention remained solely on the way Jongin giggled when she kissed him back fervently, the way Baekhyun and Jihae did.

Eunbi’s heart shattered.

Jihae followed her gaze and must’ve mistook Eunbi’s frown for confusion when she said, “Oh, that’s Kwon Jia. I think she’s in one of your classes.”

“I know who she is,” announced Eunbi bitterly. “Why is she with Jongin?”

“They started dating two months ago. Didn’t you hear?”

Two months ago? Eunbi wanted to laugh – not in amusement, but out of pity for herself. Last week was when Jongin carried her, the only moment she ever felt like she’d been a part of his world. As instantly as it happened, she felt warm tears pricking her eyes. Eunbi forced a laugh and fanned herself to act cool, “No, I had no idea…”

“Well, Jia isn’t exactly the public type. It’s no surprise not everyone knew, but I mean, it’s kind of obvious, don’t you think? They’re all over each other.”

Her smile grew into a grimace as she tore her gaze away from them. Jongin was dating Jia. He was dating. Eunbi didn’t have a chance – not that she ever did, but why did it hurt so much? Eunbi felt like a fool. “They look happy.”

As if things couldn’t get any worse, Jia whispered something to Jongin. He nodded, and Eunbi watched with wide eyes as Jia went up the bleachers. Upon seeing her, Jihae squealed, setting her bag down beside Eunbi to hug the girl. “Jia, honey, hi!”

“Jihae,” Jia greeted, her voice soft and elegant. Everything about her screamed of a cool composure of a woman who was unbothered by everything. She was even prettier up close. Her features resembled those of a doll’s. Jia had huge eyes framed with long, thick lashes that fluttered so gracefully. Her cheeks were tinted a slight pink, the natural flush making her look even more stunning. When they pulled away, Jia gasped, “I like your skirt. You look gorgeous as always.”

“Don’t flatter her too much. She might break up with me and date you instead.”

“If I didn’t love you, I’d have broken up with you a long time ago, my man,” Jihae spat back when Baekhyun came running to kiss her cheek. The three of them laughed, while Eunbi ducked her head. She clutched Jihae’s bag tighter, her chest tightening at every passing second. She just wanted to go back home until – “Oh, this is my roommate, Eunbi!”

Eunbi swallowed. Hesitantly, her eyes met Jia’s. She was so pretty. Her skin had no flaw. Not a single acne or pore in sight, or any blemishes visible. Her eyes were kind and patient, her bag slung over the crook of her arm as she extended an arm.

, Eunbi gritted her teeth. She cleared as she stood up, grimacing inwardly when her knee hit the chair in front of her. Jia only looked amused, though she said nothing. Eunbi wanted to melt. Out of all the people she had to embarrass herself in front of, it had to be Jongin’s girlfriend. As if she didn’t have enough urge to run away.

“Hi,” she croaked out. Eunbi shook Jia’s soft hands with her clammy, wet ones. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Choi Eunbi, right?”

She reeled back, “You know who I am?”

“I help grade papers sometimes. I’m a TA in my free time.”

“Y-you’re my senior?”

“Yeah, I’ll be graduating soon,” Jia flipped her hair to the side. Automatically, Eunbi’s gaze travelled to her gold ‘J’ necklace. She wasn’t sure if that stood for her name or Jongin’s, but Eunbi sure as hell knew she’d really rather not find out. It surprised even more that Jia was two years their senior. No wonder she seemed so mature. “I’ve seen your work. You’re amazing. It would be greater if you could share your thoughts out loud in class sometimes. It’s about time we had someone brilliant like you.”

The Kwon Jia was complimenting her?

“N-not at all, I’m sure you’re better. You easily ace exams.”

“Exams are easy to ace if you study the material well enough,” she tapped her head, then gestured to Eunbi’s with a slight wave of her palm. “But your perception and outlook in the world is something we all need.”

“My Eunbi is a bright girl! You guys will get along, I’m sure.”

“Yes, I do hope so,” Jia nodded to Jihae before turning back to Eunbi’s flushed face, “Eunbi, we have an after party after this. You should come with us.”

“I’m not sure parties are my thing.”

Jia opened to speak, but things turned for the worst when Jongin came bouncing up to them. He’d worn a short and track pants now, although his hair was still wet and his skin damp. He smelt of chlorine, something that shouldn’t even be attractive at all, but Eunbi’s heart swayed when he got closer.

“Eunbi, hey, you made it!” he suddenly hugged her. Eunbi squawked when her nose was buried into Jongin’s neck. Faster than the speed of light, Eunbi took a quick whiff of his skin before pulling away. She scratched her arm, eyes down casted to the floor since the dirt looked a lot more interesting now. Jongin scratched the back of his head, his laughter awkward from her sudden actions. “Uh…I didn’t think you’d come. I would’ve invited you myself but Jihae beat me to it.”

She nodded abruptly, “Congratulations on your medal, Jongin.”

“Thank you,” he grinned, his arm wrapped around the girl that stood next to him. Like a button was switched, Jia giggled, pressing herself to his warmth. Eunbi frowned. Just a few days ago, she knew what that felt like – what he felt like – but now she felt so cheap and humiliating knowing he had eyes for another. “I see you’ve met my girlfriend, Jia.”

Eunbi had no idea how she still managed to function. It felt like her heart swelled with every breath she took. A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of her bed’s comfort that called out to her, but Jongin was making conversation. Before she knew it, her words were forced out. “Yeah, we share classes with her.”

“Do you wanna come with us to later’s party? It’s gonna be fun. I heard Chanyeol planned something big for all of us.”

“Uhm..I think I’d rather stay at home.”

“It would be great if you could come,” it was Jia who spoke this time. Her hand landed on Eunbi’s wrist, stilling the girl in her spot. “This will be one of my last parties before I graduate. I’d like to get to know Jongin’s friends better before I leave,” she blinked up at him with a lovesick smile, “Jongin would want that too. Please, Eunbi? Will you go?”

Eunbi couldn’t breathe.

Her mind felt cloudy and foggy. Her