Contrary to Jessica’s romantic nature as to whatever Taeyeon has, she pondered over her intimate relationship with her senior: how it ended before it even began and the no-label rule Taeyeon wanted them to have. It was a power struggle between two polar opposites in the same field. Nobody wins.

Their then-relationship may have looked perfect on the outside, but within themselves, it was not pretty. Taeyeon, admittedly, had her subconscious always nagging her about the consequences of being with someone who has a hold of her career. It was a slippery slope and yet she decided to cross it. Jessica, similarly, thought about how ‘dating’ a surgeon would fuel her desire to pursue this field more. Both had selfish intentions. The resident came to a conclusion that breaking up was for the best.

The Jungs, themselves, had barely stomached the news about their perfect daughter (that they deny to have her whole life orchestrated) being anything but perfect.

“Jessica, honey, I think it’s about time you think about your future,” Their father said.

“You know how our family has been long friends with the Lees,” Their mother started. “We decided to have you and their youngest son be married by fall—”

Jessica, slightly intoxicated with wine and completely drunk in love, rejected it by coming out to them casually.

She was still questioning, Jessica explained with a lovestruck grin playing on her lips, but she was sure that she’s in love with the woman she was with right now. Krystal dropped her fork and opened in shock. “Does unnie think we’re still in high school?” she thought to herself.

“I’m sorry, who’s dating the same ?” Their mother almost shouted in question, her hand gripping the steak knife tightly that you could see her knuckles turning white.

The head of the family closed his mouth as he thought about asking the same thing. He’s livid, but calming down his wife is his priority. “Honey, put down the knife,” he gently spoke. It felt degrading.

She placed the knife, dripping with blood and steak sauce, on the table and staining the white cloth with it. Jessica had question marks written all over her face, as if telling her strict and totally not controlling parents that she’s not straight is the most normal thing to do. The alcohol in her system may have miscalculated, forgetting to input the coming out part into the equation and thinking it’s just like any other “I’m dating someone and I’m happy” news.

The next thing she knows, she woke up with a hangover in her bed with a pounding headache that greeted her good morning, followed by a rush of vague memories from last night. All she could recall were her parents being furious about something.

“Earth to Sooyeon,” Taeyeon repeated, cocking her head to the side to see that Jessica had completely spaced out and staring at a lonely dead ant on the dashboard of Taeyeon’s car. At the green light, the vehicle started to move and Jessica was back to reality and brought with her the anxiety from her past memories.

“I really think this is a bad idea,” she breathed out, holding on Taeyeon’s arm that was behind the wheel.

“It was good until you decided to gift your own parents more liquor,” Taeyeon corrected.

“Because it’s literally all they like to collect… other than golf irons, of course,”

“Yeah, I see where you get your dependency to alcohol from…” she looked at her and furrowed her brows judgingly before returning her attention to the road.

“Look, I trust your decision to not bring a bottle of vodka. We’re good now, right?” Jessica held both her hands up, palms facing forward as if she was being checked for contrabands at an airport. The weigh on her purse contradicts her statement.

“Hmm,” Taeyeon replied, dismissing this little argument. She knows she’s lying and she does nothing to prove her wrong. Things changed, not her trust in Jessica, though. She’s certain whatever flask or 50ml bottle of spirit she’s carrying inside her purse won’t be impulsively gulped under a second as soon as a minor inconvenience arises. If it does, she’s there to stop her.

“Oh, there’s a Starbucks near your building,” she parked the car and they both unbuckled their seatbelts to exit.

“My dad likes Caffe Americano and my mom prefers iced white mocha in the morning,” Jessica informed as Taeyeon grabs her wallet, leaving her handbag. “She easily gets shaky with caffeine.”

“I get it,” Taeyeon nodded, empathizing.

“I’ll wait for you at the elevator?”

“Sure,” she gave a big close-lipped grin and headed to the café. Jessica carried her pale pink purse and Taeyeon’s brown handbag as she went inside, greeting the cleaning staff and guard with a smile. She was anxious about once again coming clean to her parents, which we’ve already established as a disaster, but Taeyeon volunteering to support her not as a sunbae, but as a friend (?) who is everything to her kept her on her feet.

Sica was right, this might be a bad idea.

As the neurosurgeon falls in line to order, her supportive and optimistic mask cleanly falls off and hits the ground, shattering into a million pieces. Flashes of her screaming at Jessica’s father like a Station 19 episode shows in her mind.

Part of her being against Jessica bringing vodka to (more or less) bribe their parents of supporting her new career was because of her own actions in the past. It was both embarrassing and PTSD-inducing.

A month after Dr Kim’s first patient death, she went to the nearest bar like she does every night. It was then she recognizes a tall figure that could be none other than her ex’s dad.

She blames him for everything. Oh, she was practically in flames with rage.

Her tolerance for alcohol wasn’t great and she had already downed almost half a bottle of whiskey. Her emotions entirely have her on a ball and chain. They control her every move and any “We shouldn’t be doing this” thoughts are immediately kicked out like pathogens before they reproduce.

With heavy steps, she walked towards the counter where the president of Jung Foundation is sitting at. “Good evening, Mr Jung,”

Drunk, but with class. A good first impression and he liked it.

“Good evening. You’re Dr Na’s resident, am I correct?”

“Ah, yes sir,” she faked a smile with heavy eyelids threatening to shut at any second.

“I heard you’ve also brought a very innovative study,” he took a sip of his glass of rum. “I have an inkling you might win a grant soon.”

A grant, not their grant.

Still faking a huge grin, she said, “Did you have a Bachelor’s Degree in lying?”

“Sorry?”

“I’m pretty sure whoever was your professor would be proud of you right now because you’re practically fooling everyone in the medical field with empty promises. Tell me, are you planning to run for office someday?” she finished with another toothy smile.

Jessica’s dad slammed the glass on the dark ebony counter, half of its contents splashed on his hand and on the countertop.

“What is your problem?” he growled.

Taeyeon’s fake smile was quickly replaced by a drunken-and-furious expression. “You commented that my research was unique, but how come someone who played it safe got theirs approved over mine?!

“Explain to me, does your company favor healthcare or your own bloody image? Oh wait, your NGO was recently recognized by the president of South Korea himself. Caring about our country’s healthcare is out of the question!” The doctor gave a mocking frown with her arms crossed.

That’s as far as her memory of that night goes. She has vowed to never drink alcohol again nor meet Jessica’s parents, even by chance.

It goes without saying that she doomed herself into an unprecedented exposure therapy by forcing her hoobae to this mess when she, in fact, still hasn’t addressed the problem for years.

I think he has probably forgotten it by now.

Now she finds herself ordering Americano for Mr Jung. Not something she expected after suppressing that memory for years.

Entering the building with two beverages in hand, she sees Jessica kneeling over a man in supine position, struggling to breathe. As her sunbae, she almost dropped the caffeine just to assist her. However, Jessica had already made an incision on the man’s trachea, she was confident and determined by herself.

Performing an emergency cricothyrotomy was on instinct, she was too immersed on saving this person than noticing that both her parents are standing in shock with the crowd and Taeyeon being the only one in the room with a proud smile on her face.

Dr Kim noticed her hoobae stop for a moment to scan the area and gave a Starbucks straw to Jessica. She mouthed a thanks and proceeded to breathe into the tube in short, quick breaths. Shortly after, the person finally regained consciousness and the crowd all sighed in relief then applauded her, including Taeyeon.

Her parents—surprise, surprise—are having mixed emotions. The emergency services arrived to the patient to a hospital and insert a proper tracheostomy tube instead of a green Starbucks straw. Taeyeon approached her first with the beverages in one hand and enveloped her in a proud embrace with the other. “Your parents aren’t gonna like this,” she whispered before separating and exclaiming how proud she is and how she trusted her this whole time.

Jessica hesitantly turned her head to the looming figures behind Taeyeon. She gave a sheepish smile. “Hi, mom and dad.”

--

The elevator ride was in utter silence. Taeyeon could feel someone boring holes on the back of her head and she realizes, ah, I guess he still remembers me.

The glass door to the meeting room squeaked open and the two surgeons never felt more uncomfortable as they slid inside the room with their heads down in shame. Mr Jung sat on the short end of the table, the pair followed suit and sat next to each other on his right. Jessica’s mother noticed the tension and got worried, “I’ll prepare tea for you both, okay?”

“Thank you, mom,” said the daughter shyly.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Mr Jung cleared his throat, intertwined his fingers on the table, and Mrs Jung was already back with the bamboo tray of piping hot oolong tea.

The ceramic tea set looked very exquisite by the paint alone. Looking at the ocean blue, consistent brush and carved patterns on both the teapot and the gaiwans made the neurosurgeon remember that she’s stepped in the rich people realm, where the 1% is. With the gears turning in her brain, she immediately recalls the tea etiquette video she randomly watched before going straight to bed one night. Breaking an expensive tea cup is the last thing she wants to do today, if she wants Jessica’s parents’ blessing (on her hoobae’s job in the field, of course).

Pouring the first cup of tea, Mr Jung broke the Guiness World Record of the longest and most uncomfortable silence known to man.

“Dear,” he spoke softly, addressing his daughter. “Do you know what people say when anyone in the family had done something out of the ordinary?”

“They spread rumors,” she answered.

“Exactly. Now what would people say when they watch a video of Jessica Jung on social media performing a surgery in public without a medical license?”

“Actually, dad, that is what we’re both here for…” she turned to look at Taeyeon who was having a staring contest at the abandoned and cold Starbucks drinks and the cup of hot oolong tea in front of her.

“Dr Kim is my sunbae at work,”

Taking a sharp breath, Mr Jung adjusts his thick rimmed glasses. “Work where?”

“I’m in the residency program at Gangnam University Hospital. Dr Kim has been nothing but a sweet and supportive sunbae,”

With Taeyeon’s head down, she cringed at the adjectives used to describe her by squeezing her eyes shut as if in pain, lightly shaking her head to deny them.

Jessica continued, “She’s the woman I fell in love with and even though we’re not together anymore, she’s still special to me. I won’t make you ruin her career for my sake.”

Opening her eyes, Taeyeon felt all the weight on her chest disappear instantly. She hesitantly turned to look at Mr Jung who almost looks like a kettle about to whistle from the boiling water inside of him, with his arms crossed and pupils shaking while remaining in contact with Jessica’s.

Open. Close. Open. Close. Mr Jung was speechless. He’s completely perplexed by how Jessica fooled him for five years and that she’s never once messed up at work despite juggling two different jobs at the same time. He was both proud at her work ethic and fuming at his own daughter going against him and the company. Maybe it’s safe to assume that this had broken him more than the drunk coming out story.

“I need to collect my thoughts,” he stormed out of the meeting room and the ticking of the clock was once again filling the silence.

“I’m proud of you, Sooyeon,”

The two doctors looked at the mother wearing the sweetest motherly smile plastered on her face.

“Didn’t you despise this?” Jessica was baffled.

“I was an actress before I met your dad and you and your sister are very bad liars, you didn’t get that from me,”

Happy tears streamed down the resident’s face. Taeyeon rubbed her back gently.

“Eomoni, how long have you known?” she finally spoke, lightly patting the back of a sobbing Jessica.

“I had my guesses when she was still in med school,” she looked at her daughter with pride. “You coming home much later with dark circles under your eyes, sleeping on the sofa right after work without even showering, then leaving your purple notebook open filled with medical jargon – that confirmed my suspicion and decided to help keep this from dad,”

“That’s the mom I know,” Jessica croaked with tears on her eyes that rolled down to the biggest smile she’s ever mustered. As if by muscle memory, she grabbed Taeyeon’s hand from under the table like she was thanking her.

“Don’t let your father know, alright?”

“Of course, mom. Thank you,”

--

“So what happened during that cricothyrotomy?” Taeyeon was driving again. Seeing as how puffy Jessica’s face was after the lovely mother-daughter moment, she’d treat her to Baskin Robbins. After all, ice cream makes everything better.

“You remember when I first operated on your hospital without any supervisors, right?” she asked with a mouthful of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“Yeah,”

“I did an emergency pericardiocentesis and it without the proper equipment!” she emphasized the word. Taeyeon nodded in agreement.

“So—”

The fellow cut her off, knowing where this is headed, “Is this you telling me, your senior, that carrying a tiny bottle of liquor is part of your job?”

“What—”

, she saw right through me.

“IT IS, ISN’T IT?” shouted the driver, almost forgetting to stop at the red light.

“Don’t be too happy about it,” she let out a sigh and her cheeks flushed. “It was really lucky you left your bag with me or I would have used the tiny bottle of vodka to sterilize my cutter…” she pouted.

“Aside from the disposable scalpels you carry around, you like mint-flavored cigarettes huh?” Jessica now returns the accusatory gaze to her senior.

“Okay,” Taeyeon raises her right hand from the gear as if she was caught red-handed. “One, they’re cheap. And two, I have self-control and don’t use them as much,”

“The aneurysm and tumor money were all spent on boxes of vice, is that right?” The chestnut-haired woman nods in understanding.

“To be fair, you also have your flasks and/or chocolate liquors. I’m not the only one at fault here,” she retorted, not wanting to lose this battle.

“I’ll limit you to one stick a day, how about that?”

Hanging on by a thread, bargaining seems to be the only card the wine lover can play right now.

“Fine by me. Half a glass per day,” Taeyeon raised an eyebrow.

“You got yourself a deal,”

Entering the apartment felt bittersweet. No one has said anything about Jessica going back home, but since her parents took the truth well (somewhat), it was time to move on. Or technically, move back.

But it felt counterproductive. She’s finally found a career that she is fully content with, having a supportive mom and sister, and an ex who she still has lingering feelings for. The castle that her father built, claiming it’s to protect everyone in the family, was constructed with materials for a prison more than anything.

“Do you want to move in with me?” Jessica blurted while still deep in her thoughts.

Taeyeon was washing the dishes and almost dropped one of the ceramic plates. “To your parents’ house?”

“No, like really move in with me,” she sat properly, to face Taeyeon’s back as she was cleaning dishes, resting her head on the turquoise mini sofa in the living room.

“Aren’t you sick of me already?”

From her shoulders, the resident can see the uneasiness on her posture alone.

“I am? I was about to ask you if you want to date me again. Like real girlfriends this time?” Jessica said casually.

“Could you ask me that again when I’m wearing makeup and not doing chores in PJs?” Taeyeon had a huge smile but she was trying to conceal it with a joke.

“Is that a yes?!”

“My imaginary magic 8 ball says ‘Signs points to yes’ so I guess I have to, right?” she chuckled, turning to face her girlfriend (real this time), holding her hands up with kitchen gloves like a surgeon.

“Yay!” Jessica sprinted to her and gave the warmest embrace from girlfriend to another. Taeyeon returned it by nuzzling her head on her lover’s neck to avoid having a dishwashing soap fight.