Siwon does take him up on his offer. With the new school year, Hyukjae takes everyone’s schedule and finds three days a week that they’re free to hang out at his and Yesung’s place. 

It’s a Wednesday, and Kyuhyun had shown up a whole hour early and hunkered down at his kitchen table with his textbooks. Hyukjae had opened his door to the man and Kyuhyun hadn’t even said hello, brushing past him and settling on his kitchen table. 

“Well hello to you too,” Hyukjae snorts, to which Kyuhyun only gives him an unamused look. Hyukjae stands awkwardly in the kitchen, watching as his friend sets up, unsure as to what to do. He’s not really in the mood to actually start studying yet, so instead, he settles on the couch, scrolling through social media to pass the time. 

He loses track of time, into his feed of memes and random videos. During that time, Yesung comes in with Ryeowook in tow and not long after, he gets a text from Donghae saying he’s at the front door. He jogs to the door to let him in, nodding politely at Siwon as he walks in behind him as well.

“Make yourselves at home,” Hyukjae says. Siwon settles on the couch and is almost immediately drawn into a conversation with Yesung and Ryeowook. Donghae lingers with him, removing his jacket and placing it on the coat rack. He rubs up and down his arms; he’s wearing a short-sleeved shirt and Hyukjae can see goosebumps all over his arms.

“Why are you wearing a t-shirt?” Hyukjae asks. Donghae winces.

“It was boiling in one of my lecture halls today,” he says. “The professor says it’s a heating issue because the university had miscalculated how warm it was supposed to be today. And then I forgot my sweater in the lecture hall.”

“You can borrow one of mine if you want?” Hyukjae says. Donghae nods, so Hyukjae gestures vaguely at his bedroom. “You can choose one from my closet.”

“Thanks,” Donghae says, beaming at him before disappearing into his room. Hyukjae bites his lip to keep from looking too smitten at Donghae’s reaction to the offer of a sweater. 

“Oi,” Yesung calls from the living room. “Grab me my laptop from my room, will you?”

“Why can’t you do it yourself?”

“Because you’re the only one still standing up,” Yesung says like it’s obvious. Hyukjae wonders if anyone here would mind if he punched his best friend. But Siwon is new and he doesn’t want to make a bad impression so he goes into Yesung’s room, grabs the man's laptop and tosses it to him, taking great pleasure in watching Yesung’s eyes widen as he scrambles to catch it. 

He gives Yesung an innocent smile as he settles onto the couch. After a few minutes, Hyukjae frowns: Donghae had been gone for a long time. He rolls off the couch, padding to his room and slipping inside. When he does, he stops, certain that his mortification is plainly written across his face. Donghae is standing at his desk, leaning close to his corkboard.

The corkboard full of the notes of their exchanges that Hyukjae had kept. 

Yeah, the world should just open up and swallow him now, to save him from this embarrassment. 

Donghae turns and then jumps, clearly startled to see that Hyukjae is standing behind him. Then a flush appears on the tip of his ears and his hand flies to the back of his head, scratching at his nape and looking away.

“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to… it just caught my eye.”

Hyukjae shakes his head.

“It’s fine,” he says. He opens his closet and pulls out a black hoodie, handing it over to Donghae. The man accepts it wordlessly, but the blush is still persistent on his ears.

“You kept them?” Donghae asks as he pulls the hoodie over his head and so far over his eyes that Hyukjae can no longer see them. He doesn’t sound creeped out or angry or anything of the sort, just curious so Hyukjae lets out a breath of relief.

“Yeah, they were cute,” he says. And then he pauses before continuing: “You were cute.”

Donghae pulls the edge of the hood even further down, clearly to conceal his face. If it was anyone else, Hyukjae would scold them for stretching out his hoodie, but instead he just laughs.

“Come on, everyone’s probably wondering what we’re doing in here for so long,” he says, holding the door open so Donghae can go out first. He trails closely behind, watching first as Donghae settles into the corner of the couch, opposite of where Siwon is sitting. Hyukjae sits on the floor in front of Donghae, next to Ryeowook, whose books have already taken up half the floor.

“School started like a week ago, why in the world do you have so much much already?” 

“It’s all for show,” Yesung says and Ryeowook scowls at him. He can hear Donghae chuckle quietly behind him as the pair bicker and he can also feel Donghae’s leg pressing just slightly on his upper back. He leans back to increase the contact and pulls his laptop into his lap.

He pulls up some of the demonstration videos he needs to watch (the less graphic ones, considering that he knows Donghae is right behind him), plugs in his headphones, and gets to work. 

There’s something about being surrounded by his friends, with Donghae behind him, and Yesung, Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Siwon spread out in various locations in his apartment, all studying. Conversation fades as everyone begins settling into their work, with the only noise he can really make out through his headphones is the occasional rustling of papers and the sound of Yesung’s laptop keys clicking away. The general atmosphere promotes a level of focus he’s never really achieved before and the next thing he knows, he’s finished five videos and it’s been three hours.

He finishes his latest video and hesitates before clicking the next one, feeling his stomach growl. 

Pulling off his headphones, he stretches and then reaches over to the armchair, nudging Yesung’s leg with his fingertips. Yesung’s head snaps up, ripping his headphones out of his ears.

“What?”

“Pizza?” 

Yesung hesitates before he nods.

“Yeah,” he says. He kicks Ryeowook, who yelps.

“What is wrong with you?” he snaps and Hyukjae snorts. 

“You want pizza?”

“Yes,” Kyuhyun cuts in. Siwon blinks at them all, looking a little taken aback by the sudden chaos that has emerged on the floor between the four of them. Hyukjae offers him a close-lipped smile.

“Pizza?”

“Sure,” Siwon says. Hyukjae turns to Donghae, who seems to be completely oblivious to them talking around him. He’s curled up, the sleeves of Hyukjae’s hoodies pulled over the palms of his hands so only his fingertips and the pen he’s holding are visible. The hood is pulled so far over his head, he looks a little bit like a black blob holding a textbook that has made a home on his couch. 

Hyukjae reaches out, waving a hand in front of Donghae’s line of sight of the textbook, chuckling when Donghae looks up at him, his eyes wide. He blinks a few times and then stretches. His sweater, which had bunched up awkwardly so there's more material on one side than the other, shifts as Donghae stretches to give Hyukjae a view of a strip of his skin. Hyukjae looks away. 

“What time is it?”

“Nine,” Hyukjae says. "We're planning on getting pizza, you in?"

"Oh." Donghae pulls out his phone and checks it before he nods. "Okay."

Yesung sounds like he's already ordering, so Hyukjae drops down onto the couch next to Donghae, his arm resting across the backrest. Donghae swivels so he's resting against Hyukjae, tilting his head up a little so he's looking up at Hyukjae from the crook of Hyukjae's arm.

Hyukjae can tell Donghae wants to say something, the turmoil clear in his eyes. He pulls his arm off the backrest so it's resting on Donghae's shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Is it… bad to need medication for anxiety?"

"Bad?" Hyukjae repeats, frowning down at Donghae. "Why would it be bad?"

"B-Because, well, it's a crutch. I should be able to deal with it myself," Donghae says and Hyukjae sighs. He starts fiddling with some of Donghae's hair, considering what to say to Donghae to reassure him.

"In school, I learned about anxiety," he finally says. "It's caused by a maladaptive response, where one of the areas in your brain produces too much of a transmitter so your sense of… arousal or anxiety is always active. So by taking medication, it's helping control that response. It's not a crutch. It's to level the playing field. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Do you understand that?"

Donghae shifts, sinking further into his chest 

"Okay," he says quietly. Hyukjae had always been lucky enough not to have any mental health issues, and his friends haven't had any sort of issues that he knows of, either. So he's at a loss as to how to comfort Donghae.

So he does his best, tracing his fingers up and down Donghae's arm and savouring the feeling of the other man relaxing against him until their pizza arrives.

⸺

"Hey, I'm not going to be there tonight," Yesung says. Hyukjae blinks.

"Ryeowook and Kyuhyun just texted me that they weren't coming either," Hyukjae says. 

"Well it's reading week," Yesung says. "So a bunch of us have other plans."

"Rude," Hyukjae says. "This is so last minute. I guess Siwon, Donghae, and I will have all the fun without you guys."

"Uh-huh," Yesung drawls. "Well have fun with that. Don't keep me updated."

He hangs up before Hyukjae can get a word in, so he sends Yesung a middle finger emoji to make his feelings known. He gets a passive-aggressive thumbs up in response.

He growls at his phone; Yesung always needs the last word. He ignores the text, leaving it on read to make a statement and checks the time. If they’re on time (which they always are), Donghae and Siwon would be here in a minute. Yesung really cut it close with the cancelling.

As predicted, he gets a text from Donghae saying he’s outside, so Hyukjae gets up to let him in.

“Siwon can’t come today,” Donghae says when he opens the door. 

“Oh,” Hyukjae says. “Um, then I guess we’re alone today. Did you want to study, or do you want to do something else?” Donghae tilts his head.

“What do you want to do?”

“Well,” Hyukjae says, considering. “I just got the most recent Just Dance game for the Switch, you wanna play with me?” Donghae pouts.

“But I at video games,” he says. Hyukjae shakes his head, reaching out and grabbing Donghae’s wrist and dragging him into the living room.

“This one is different,” he says. “We just dance with the controller, no button pressing involved. You’ll do fine.”

“If you say so,” Donghae says dubiously. “I’ll try it, but if I , we’re doing something else.”

“Fine, fine,” Hyukjae allows. He turns on the TV and grabs his switch remotes. “Put the wrist straps on. Oh and stay standing.”

He flips through the menu and selects the Just Dance game, wincing when the game menu music comes blaring through the speakers. He quickly lowers the volume before turning to see Donghae standing very awkwardly in front of the couch, looking a little terrified at the game.

“Stop worrying,” Hyukjae says, “this isn’t Mario, there is very little skill needed. If you want, I can go first.” Donghae looks up at him, eyes wide.

“Please do,” he says. Hyukjae snorts. 

“Okay, watch and learn,” he says. He scrolls through the menu and settles on ‘Fire’ by 2NE1 as his choice. 

He’s a pretty good dancer if he does say so himself. He was a part of a dance crew all through elementary and middle school and partway through high school too, until it took up too much of his time and he chose to drop it to focus on his studies. 

He had actually wanted to audition to be a k-pop star when he was thirteen and naive, but his mom had shut that idea down real quick. It's been years now and really all Hyukjae has