bicerin.

dear donghae (i love you)
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bicerin. chapter eight  

With the Christmas holidays and New Year's over, Hyukjae and Yesung fall back into the routine of working. For the winter break, they’ve negotiated longer hours—Hyukjae is both parts relieved and annoyed by this. He likes the potential to make more money during the break and the inactivity had been slowly driving him crazy over the holidays. 

But there’s something empty about working in the coffee shop and not seeing Donghae walk through the door every day. It feels as though he’s been walking up the stairs and suddenly there are no more steps and he hadn’t realized it, only for his foot to meet air when he expected ground. It’s not a huge deal, but it’s disconcerting nonetheless.

It has been several days of going back to work and Hyukjae has been staring longingly at the door daily. He’s acutely aware that Yesung is ready to take off his shoe and whack him over the head with it.

“I know you’re a lovesick fool, but if you could just focus,” Yesung says.

"Focus on what," Hyukjae says as he rummages through the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. He'll ring it up and put the money in the cashier later. "There aren't any customers."

"Well I was talking and you were staring longingly at the door," Yesung says.

"I was not," Hyukjae says. "Maybe a little. It's instinct, okay?" He takes a sip of water to stop himself from saying anything more and incriminating himself.

And then Donghae walks into the door, hair trimmed shorter than the last time Hyukjae had seen him and dyed a white-blonde. Hyukjae’s mistimed sip of water goes down the wrong pipe and he chokes violently, much to Yesung’s amusement.

Eventually, Yesung does take pity on him, giving him a couple of slaps on the back so he can stop coughing faster.

"Are you okay?" Donghae asks him, but his smile is soft and crooked like he's asking just as a formality.

"Wow," is all Hyukjae breathe instead of responding. He can't seem to peel his eyes away from Donghae's hair. Donghae’s smile fades a little at his response.

"Do you not like it? Does it look bad? I've never dyed my hair before and I'm not too sure about it, but then Heechul took one look at it and said I had to keep it. I wasn't too sure if he said that because I looked stupid, or—"

"You look amazing," Hyukjae says, cutting off Donghae's panicked rant. He'd be offended if he didn't know for sure that Donghae is being sincere. "Stunning, even, blonde is a really good look on you."

"It is a good look," Yesung agrees from behind him. Donghae beams at their approval.

“Thank you,” he says. “Oh and I’ll have a small latte, to go this time.”

“To go?” Yesung asks. Donghae scratches the back of his head.

“Yeah, I have an appointment with my therapist in half an hour,” Donghae says. “I’ve been going for a little while now, but it’s still… nerve-wracking.”

“I see, well I’ll get that for you in a minute,” Yesung says.

Donghae nods and moves over to the side, as not to block anyone who may be ordering.

“He’s ridiculous,” Yesung mutters when Donghae walks away. “Your not-boyfriend is ridiculous and I will fight him.”

“Shut up,” Hyukjae says, shoving him. “He’s not doing it maliciously.”

“That somehow makes it worse,” Yesung says, rolling his eyes. But when he looks over at Donghae, his scowl disappears and his face softens. “But he looks better. Happier.”

Hyukjae can't stop a dopey smile from spreading across his face. "Yeah, he does, doesn't he?"

“Okay, that’s enough staring, get to work, man,” Yesung says, grabbing his shoulders and turning him around, giving him a little shove towards the espresso machine. There’s already a to-go cup next to the machine for Hyukjae, so he gets to work making the drink. 

He even spends a little extra time making a heart on the top of the drink before realizing the lid will be closed and it’s unlikely Donghae will even see it. 

He’s such an idiot. Reluctantly, he puts the lid on the cup and out of habit reaches for the post-it note pad from beside his cashier. He’s already written ‘Dear Donghae’ onto the paper before he realizes what he’s doing.

Should he still write a note to Donghae?

But then again, it’s become a tradition and it feels strange to just give the cup to Donghae without a note.

Hyukjae considers what to write and then decides not to hold back.

 

Dear Donghae,

You look absolutely radiant today and your hair is beautiful. Pure white hair to match your pure soul. Wish you all the best with your therapist and just remember that we're all here for you! Hope it goes well!

P.S. A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn’t get a single hair on his head wet. Why?

- Lee Hyukjae :)

 

Hyukjae gets a text from Donghae at the end of the day, saying:

Lee Donghae: The man is bald.

Hyukjae stares at the message for several seconds, taken aback and confused.

And then he remembers the riddle he had written on the note this morning.

Lee Hyukjae: you couldn’t have been less cryptic about this?
                        but you got it right
                       btw how did your therapy session go?

He’s about to put his phone down when it rings, the caller ID reading ‘Donghae.’ 

"Hyukjae," Donghae says when Hyukjae picks up. "It went well."

"I'm glad," Hyukjae says. He makes his way over to the couch and sits down, his head falling back so it’s resting on the backrest and he’s staring at the ceiling. 

"He's been encouraging me to find the things I enjoy doing, so I've been trying. "

"Was the dyed hair a part of it?"

"Yeah," Donghae says. "I'm not sure how much I actually like it though. People keep staring at me on the street, it's weird. But at least I tried it."

Hyukjae fights the urge to scoff at Donghae's statement: he's quite sure he knows exactly why people are staring at Donghae. He's not about to tell Donghae the reason, though.

"I joined a gym, too," Donghae says. "I do like that, it's nice to work up a sweat."

"I bet it is," Hyukjae blurts out before he's even aware of what he's saying, an image of Donghae, flushed and sweaty popping into his mind. He snaps his mouth shut so quickly his teeth click together and he's certain his face is slowly turning red. He closes his eye and tries to wipe the image his brain had conjured up with little success.

"Do you work out often?" Donghae asks, thankfully misinterpreting his reaction. 

"Nope," Hyukjae says, popping the 'p' at the end of the word.  "I'm more of a stay inside and eat pizza while playing video games kind of guy."

"Oh, I see," Donghae says. "Pizza… I haven't had pizza in many years." Hyukjae gasps.

"That's offensive, Donghae," he says, basking in Donghae's loud, unbridled laugh at his dramatics. "We need to rectify that because that is a travesty."

"We can go out for pizza together, then?" Donghae asks. 

"What, now?"

"I-I mean if you're free? Or if you want?" Donghae stutters, suddenly unsure. 

"I'm free," Hyukjae says, quickly. "Tonight, right? Is eight okay?"

"Yeah," Donghae says. "You're choosing the place, right? I'm coming with high expectations only."

Hyukjae chuckles. "Yes, I know the perfect place."

"Great, I'll see you then!" Donghae says before hanging up. Hyukjae stares down at his phone, not quite sure what had just happened. Yesung raises an eyebrow at him as he enters the living room from the kitchen.

"Got a date?"

"No," Hyukjae says quickly. “It's not." And then he ducks out of the living room to escape further ridicule.

It’s not a date, but it doesn’t stop Hyukjae from emptying his entire closet in an attempt to find a good outfit. It takes him far longer than he likes, but he manages to narrow it down to three different possible outfits. 

“You’ve been at this for thirty minutes,” Yesung’s voice comes from his door and Hyukjae jumps, whirling around. Yesung is leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed and looking annoyingly amused at Hyukjae’s dilemma.

“Which one?” Hyukjae says without acknowledging Yesung’s statement. Yesung heaves a deep sigh, making a show of pushing himself off the doorframe and making his way to Hyukjae’s bed. He scans the outfits before gesturing at the one in the middle: a black t-shirt, leather jacket, and ripped light wash jeans.

“Wear those suede boots of yours,” Yesung says. “The beige ones with the buckle.”

“Yeah, I know the ones,” Hyukjae says. “Thanks.”

Yesung rolls his eyes. “Have fun at your… dinner.”

Hyukjae snorts and slams the door behind Yesung. By the time he’s

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Manna-chan #1
Chapter 23: This was such a nice read, I liked the pace of the story, and the way the various characters reacted to trauma. I will come back one day and re-read, I'm certain. Thank you for writing and sharing your work with us.
hyukkie_chin
1455 streak #2
Gonna read this again :)
Lavender05 #3
Chapter 23: Always such a great fic to reread 💙💙
LuYu98 #4
Chapter 23: This is an amazing job! It feels so warm when I read it again ❤️.
Piranhae07
#5
Chapter 23: Listening to your created Spotify playlist while reading this last chapter and omg it's such a nice ending for a beautiful fic 🥺 Love how you added a touch of mental health issues and how it's so damn important to support peers and family when they're going through something. But that's not to say daily check-ins aren't unimportant! Sometimes just asking how one's day is can make all the difference ❤️
Piranhae07
#6
Chapter 13: Togepi as Hae and Snorlax as Hyuk? GENIUS 😂 I just love how you gave each of them characters from Sanrio and it's so cute 😂 Honestly loving the pace of this fic and how everything is going so far!
Piranhae07
#7
Chapter 11: Have been a silent reader for some time but just wanna say thanks for the itinerary! 😂 May add these places when I head to Tokyo for vacation/concert in the future
djmiiin #8
Chapter 23: oh mY GOD IM SO SORRY I ONLY COMMENTED NOW.

i stumbled upon this fic thru twt and i didnt regret reading this! i love how you wrote this fic and how you showcased every member here 🥺🥺 i love how you wrote about the group's quirkiness and own personalities. i also would like to comment about the talk about mental health. kudos to that!

thanks so much for writing and sharing your stories! gotta go check your other stories too teehee.
haeppyharu
#9
I can’t believe I’m reading this again 😭😭💔❤️😩
PetallishAngels
#10
Chapter 23: I really really loved the story...it was really enticing and enriching!!!


I also liked that I got to learn about so many different types of coffee and now, it's my goal to try each one at least once!!!