Since the world goes round, shouldn’t life come full circle? 

In a few weeks, I’ll find myself free from all the tortuous days and nights of studying.  I’m not too worried about the real world anymore. I’m not anxious about what people expect of me any longer, because I’ve finally come to the conclusion that people are too busy with themselves to really care; better yet,  I’m too busy to care. Transitioning into my profession hasn't stressed me out either.  I learned that a lot of success in life doesn’t always spring from what you know but rather, who you know.
 

Chanyeol has basically put in a good word for me and has guaranteed me a spot in his father’s company. I’m truly thankful for all of his assistance. He really pushed me to be my best for the past couple of months. I loved how we weren’t stuck to each other like glue. We had our separate lives, but we made time for each other whenever we wanted to catch up. And whenever we do, it’s usually a Friday and a meal at some prestigious restaurant.

Today happens to be our day for leisure. Instead of meeting him at the designated location, I’m told to meet him outside of his class. After my business class is dismissed, I gleefully head to the psychology department, already anticipating the delicious steak we planned to feast on. I find myself even happier remembering that it’s his turn to pay the tab. As I arrived, I noticed the class was open. I peek to see Chanyeol speaking to his young looking professor. He looked fairly attractive in his formal attire.

 His professor takes my presence into account and smiles. Chanyeol turns his head before inviting me inside.  I noticed his professor’s name plate reads Junmyeon Kim. His name rang a bell, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. It’s not long until I hear them chatting about post-graduation life and an exchange of inquiries and advice.
 

I don’t get to hear the whole conversation because I start to acknowledge just how interesting his classroom is. It’s filled with what seemed to be unique memorabilia. It was like a mock museum with the display of a variety of artworks. 

There were so many colors scattered around the perimeter of the room, but one particular piece stood out to me. It fit my aesthetic quite well. I was so immersed by such a random, conflicting canvas. 

The middle section instantly reminded me of skittles because of the stipples of colors. I can only describe it to look like a rainbow dismantled and peppered at the core of the art. Everything outside of this area is as dark as chocolate fondue. It gives me a heavy feeling; It’s a feeling that looms just over the happiness that I once felt looking at the vibrant center. I felt more contradicting emotions the longer I stared at it. My observation deepens as I can recognize the harsh brush of the dark colors versus the gentle, more refined marks of the bright space. 

“I see this painting has spoken to you,” Professor Kim speaks.

I didn’t even notice that he was beside me and that Chanyeol was outside taking a phone call.

“It’s quite interesting. I never understood abstract art,” I admit, airily laughing.

“How does it make you feel?” He questions.

My lips press into a firm line as I narrow my eyes at the work.

“It makes me feel confused, but I like how the dark somehow highlights the light. It’s truly a beautiful piece.”

“A student of mine actually created this. I assigned a project solely for my students to express themselves. This person came to me as they were going through conflicting changes. I encouraged them to use art as an outlet,” He smiles at the memory. “I was relieved to find out that this project benefited them. By the time the assignment was turned in, I felt they were more concise with their decisions.” 

Throughout his explanation, I felt the warmth in his tone. I could tell how proud he was. The way his eyes lit up as he marveled at the painting before us made me feel how special it was. Not only was it a sight to see, it had substance to it. I, too, appreciated it at that very moment.

“This university has graced me with the opportunity to meet such exceptional students,” He says. “It’s a shame that I’ll be transferring to a new school.”

I didn’t even have him as a teacher, yet I felt disappointment hearing the news.

“I wish I had the opportunity to have you as a professor,” I truthfully say. “But I’m sure that you’ll be able to impact the next set of students you’ll have wherever you decide to go. I haven’t known you a day and I could already tell how much you care.” 

He grins after thanking me.

“You know,” His eyes travel around the room. “I won’t be able to take all of these pieces with me. Some students I've been able to contact but the rightful owner of this painting hasn’t responded, and it’s been quite some time.” He takes the canvas into his hands and offers it into mine. 

“I’ll have a peace of mind knowing that it’ll be in the hands of someone who can appreciate it.” He says whole-heartedly. He reminds me of a grandfather passing down a valuable heirloom. The way he looks so ingenuous doesn’t leave me any room to refuse. I mean it’s free and would help my room look more sophisticated, why not?

I hold the canvas in my arms with a smile, thanking him. The same moment, Chanyeol comes back with a heavy sigh.

“I just got an earful from my father about missing a blind date that was set with his business partner’s daughter,” He says aloud.
 

“Getting lectured is better than feeling tortured with something you don’t want to do, no?” Professor Kim questions. He then gives a small nod to me with a wink.

Chanyeol grins at the comment.

“This is why you’re my favorite professor.” He states and it earns him a bright smile from the young professor.

Chanyeol’s eyes acknowledge the time displayed on the clock. They widen before he announces, “We’re going to be late for our reservation! Let’s get going.”

I bid a farewell to Professor Kim, thanking him one last time for the gift. Chanyeol waves back at him with a huge grin. He and I make our way out, heading to the parking lot where his Aston Martin stands out in bold red. 

“Now I see why you have such a big crush on your professor,” I tease. “He’s an angel.”

“You guys got friendly so fast.” He sulks, spotting the painting in my hand. 

“Your fault for leaving us alone.” I playfully jest.

He rolls his eyes as he opens the passenger seat for me to settle in. Chanyeol and I bickered a lot, but it was our dynamic. I finally understood why I opened up to him so quickly. Truth be told, I didn’t consider him as just any guy.

I mean, he is my gay best friend.



We’re seated across from each other in the dimly lit restaurant. The ambience is quiet and well, expensive. We’d usually stand out in a room like this, but I notice that Chanyeol isn’t as chatty and energetic as usual. I sense that he has an occupied mind, because he’s zoned out staring at nothing.

“What’s on your mind, Loey?”

He breaks into a big exhale. He puts an elbow on the table, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he looks at me with a glum expression.

“I wish I could be myself,” He softly expresses. “I hate how my father doesn’t know. I’ll probably never find real love. I fear that no one will accept me for who I am.”

I interject in that moment, feeling a passion course through my blood.

“I accept you for you.” 

My hand grips the surface of his. Ever since meeting Chanyeol, I learned the importance of embracing who you are. He made me realize how important self-love truly is. It was something he hadn’t directly taught me, but with his struggles, I was able to naturally piece it together with him. I learned to love him for who he is. I helped him feel comfortable in his own skin and in return, he empowered me by reciprocating the same energy back. I was happy to have figured out that I didn’t need a holiday to act as whomever I wanted; I found that everyday I can unravel a new layer to me and gradually acquire the ability to love it for what it is. 

I choose to love myself, for who I am.

I am a person with an addictive personality; that just means I’m a passionate soul. I have a yes-man complex, but that just goes to show how big of a heart I have.

“That’s why I’m glad I have you,” He pouts. “Thank you for being my safe space.”

I playfully sock his arm for his sappiness.

“Okay, but I have a question,” He says, pursing his lips. I nod for him to continue.

“Do you believe in fate? I don’t know what it is... I just have this weird feeling about Professor Kim. Like I was meant to meet him.” He chuckles at himself. “And yet, I don’t even know if he swings that way.”

I pause for a second trying to gather what I know about this subject in hand. It occurs to me that I’ve never told him the specifics of my love life. It was something I chose not to thoroughly talk about, because I was always pushing myself to move forward. I pulled it off quite well as I just remained vague whenever the topic came up. Chanyeol wasn’t the type to pry any way; he took what he knew and was able to support me, regardless. I loved that about him.

“I’m not so sure if there’s such a thing, but I know the feeling of wanting it to be fate. All I can say is, when you don’t focus your energy on it too much, life has a funny way o