A/N: uhhhhhhhhh yeah. i am aware i havent updated this fic in a very, very long time (since april i believe?) yeah im super sorry about that. life has been a bit hectic lately. i graduated college (yes i am aware im a hag too) a few months ago, moved out of my parents, and FINALLY got a job (thank god). ive been super involved in all of that but i promise that im not giving up on this story or writing in general. i'll be working full time now so im not going to have a lot of free time? but i really, really hope to update every so often. i didnt before because i always felt like any time spent not looking for a job was a waste of time....yup kids getting a job after college is as tough as adults make it out to be. but now that i have a job i feel like i can use my free time how i want so i WILL be updating more frequently (im saying this so you all can hold me accountable, haha). im not one to give up on a fic, ive only ever done it once, 5 years ago, and i still feel bad about it. so this will be finished and hopefully in a timely manner. especially with haseul being back...the story of haseul gaining her confidence seems to apply to real life as well as this fic (and myself? in a way?) so i feel like its important for me to let egret cove haseul have her happy ending.

also if you read my non loona fics and are wondering where my exo fics went, i took the ones that contain kris wu/wu yifan. if you dont know why you should probably look it up but fair warning it may be triggering. i didnt know any other way to let people know other than write it here...

okay...wow. sorry for the extremely long rant. i dont know if any of it was necessary, i guess i dont have to explain myself, but i love writing and love the reaction i get and i feel like i owe it to you all to explain. also, yes, i may be a bit out of practice so hopefully this isnt worse quality than the rest of this story. anyways....finally! lets get on with it!

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Haseul's heart beat harder than the waves crashing on the shore a couple of feet away. 

It was a sunny Wednesday when everyone happened to be off work, so Heejin, Hyunjin, Haseul, Yeojin, and Vivi decided to visit Our Beach together. It would've been boring if the idea of Haseul leaving wasn't in the back of all their heads. 

But she was, and as much as they all wanted to deny it, Haseul's goodbye was the thought that occupied their nights and came every so often to cloud their sunny days. So it was special, in the way that anything, no matter how mundane it is, is special the last times you do it. Haseul thought about it a lot, of course. 

Sometimes, she thought, maybe her last year of high school would be better. Not just because she was a vastly different girl than the one who drove down to Egret Cove those months ago, but because it was the end. Senior year. Or maybe it was would be just as mundane and miserable as it had been. Haseul didn't know, and she was trying desperately not to care. What mattered was now: now, on the beach with her best friends and her girl, her girl. For now, that was what mattered. 

What mattered was Heejin and Hyunjin and Yeojin laughing in the background, the sound mixing with the gentle crash of the waves. What mattered was the tickle of Vivi's hair against her arm, blowing in the breeze. What mattered was that Vivi made popsicles last night, and they were all going to go back to her place and eat them when they grew tired of the beach. What mattered is that she was sleepy, not in the dead feeling high school way, but in a good way. The almost too sunny sort of way. 

So she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let herself fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

When she woke up, Haseul was melting in every sense of the word. 

Underneath the blinding hot sun, most of herself exposed as she laid down on the soft worn sheet, able to feel the gritty sand beneath. Her brain and her skin felt a little bit like jelly. 

Well, part of that was Vivi though, Haseul's own shining sun. She sat up, leaning on one arm, her back to black hair cascading behind her. 

(Haseul had liked every Vivi hair color so far, she liked everything Vivi did, but the black was maybe her favorite: it brought out the softness in her already delicate countenance; her already soft soul)

She was smiling, of course. Smiling down at Haseul. They were quiet, but she reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind Haseul's ear. Why wouldn't she be melting? 

"Do you wanna do another swimming lesson?" 

Not even the pretty lilt of Vivi's voice could stop Haseul from whining. "Come on..." 

"But you've made so much progress! Don't you wanna give it one last go?" 

Before you leave. Those were the three words Vivi didn't say, but Haseul knew she meant them. None could bear to speak the words out loud, but they knew. 

Vivi looked down at her with the cutest little expression of worry. It was like... Haseul finally got it. It was like, Vivi wanted to teach her how swim to spend time with her and get to know her, but Vivi wanted to teach her how to swim because she loves it and she couldn't help but share what she loves with Haseul, and Vivi wanted to teach her how to swim to keep her safe. It was an unselfish act with unselfish undertones and how could Haseul not make her happy and refuse. 

"Yeah, okay, fine." 

Vivi smiled brightly and stood up, grabbing Haseul's slim wrist. Haseul let herself be tugged into Vivi's safe space, the cold crashes against her toes sending zings all the way up her spine and into her mind. 

"It's kinda cold..." 

"We've just been sitting out in the sun for a while; any other time it would feel like bath water." 

Haseul hummed and thought for a moment. "Pull me in." 

"What?" 

"Just pull me in. Get it over with. I don't know if I could get all the way in myself, but..." 

Vivi smiled. "Are you sure." 

Haseul sighed. "Yeah." 

Vivi cleared . "One, two, three." Nothing happened, Haseul made a face, and then she screeched: she was in. 

Haseul let the cool water zap her skin. Climbing into the ocean after soaking in the hot sun gives a better rush than icy espresso entering your veins, and Haseul sure felt it. That rush amplified to a hundred when Vivi's wet, soft hand grabbed her own, tugging her in deeper. It felt good, actually, being in the water. And it still felt good when Vivi let go of her hand. She treaded, head above the water. She knew she was safe. 

"Look at you! Treading just fine, with a smile on your face too." 

Haseul hadn't even realized she was smiling. "Do I get a reward?"

Vivi swam over and planted a soft, salty kiss on her cheek. 

"How's that?" 

Haseul couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. "Perfect." 

"Wanna show me your ?" 

Haseul nodded and took a deep breath. That was the worst part: the first dive underneath. That was the moment when the fear and doubt gripped her. Those feelings still gripped her today, but their hold was loose. When her head emerged from the ocean she wore a smile. 

"Come on!" Vivi shouted, laughing. It was contagious; Haseul laughed too. 

"Okay!" she whined, and dove back under. 

, Vivi had said. So just like that, Haseul did it. Moving through the water, against and alongside the waves, it was easy. It was easy! The salty sting in her eyes couldn't stop her, and neither could her own heart. 

When she popped back up, the water parting around her dark hair, she was far from Vivi. Not far enough to miss the proud loving gaze in her eyes. But far enough to feel that pride herself. Vivi's grin was strong enough to send ripples on the water. 

"You did it!" She swam over to Haseul and wrapped her in a cool, slippery hug. "You did it." 

Haseul hugged her back, burying her face in the crook of her neck, that salty scent filling her nose. She breathed it in and out in the least creepy way possible, the two girls frozen in the water.

She hated and loved the feeling of Vivi's face right next to hers, eyes unfocused from proximity, flush filling and burning her cheeks. But right, she put herself there: forehead against Vivi's, a scene straight out of a cheesy movie Haseul would have hated three months ago. 

And she kissed her. It was a little silly, a big passionate kiss over a few yards of swimming, but Vivi got it. Vivi tangled her fingers in the back of Haseul's hair, holding hard. Her lips were utterly soft and she was finally safe, okay in the water, even distracted. 

When they pulled away, Vivi snorted. Her eyes grew wide and she slapped a hand over . But both girls slowly began laughing for real. 

"We're silly, aren't we," Vivi managed to say. 

"It's okay," Haseul answered, for both of them to hear. 

"Yeah, it is." 

They reached for each other's hands under the water before Vivi made a face and tugged it away. 

"You're procrastinating!" 

"I'm not!" Haseul whined back. 

"You are!" 

"I'm really not, I promise." 

"Then show me your butterfly." 

And without hesitating, Haseul dove under, and did.

~~~~~~~~~~

When the girls returned from the water, Hyunjin began to whistle and Yeojin followed suit, throwing a few infinitely embarrassing "woo's" out onto the beach. Heejin just looked at them with a smile of begrudging agreement. 

"Are you serious?" Haseul whined. 

"You can't kiss like that in the water without me teasing you," Hyunjin answered. 

"Or me!" Yeojin added. 

Vivi and Haseul just shared a look, flopping onto the sheets they'd laid out, the wet parts of their skin coating with sand. Haseul leaned on her elbows, knee up, her full frame stretched out under the sun. The last of the water soaking her green one-piece dried up immediately. 

Haseul turned to Vivi, the dried stuck-together stalks of her hair shaking with her. 

"Snack time?" 

Vivi grinned. "Yeah." 

Haseul pulled open the bag of Gardetto's, those bags of just the really good rye chips from Chex Mix. Yeojin leapt over to grab a grubby handful, almost spilling the bag in the process. Heejin and Hyunjin chuckled behind her, taking their own shares (with Hyunjin unceremoniously shoving it into ). 

She ate a few and looked over at her girlfriend. Vivi had cycled through a few colors over the summer, but Haseul thought the black suited her best. It was sweet and natural, just like Vivi. A strand of it flitted across her eyes, and she blinked in annoyance. Haseul reached up mindlessly to tuck the strand behind her ear. Vivi looked up then, a dainty smile on her lips, and Haseul couldn't tell if the flush on her cheeks came from the summer sun or her fingers. 

"Don't get your crumby fingers in her hair!" Yeojin suddenly teased. The couple turned around, Vivi laughing while Haseul made a face at her cousin. 

"They're not crumby!" 

"You were just eating chips, they're at least greasy. Don't you wanna keep your precious girlfriend clean?"  

Haseul rolled her eyes and turned back around. Vivi just giggled to herself.

After a moment's pause, Vivi let out the softest of exhales. 

"Haseul's gotten really good at swimming, you guys." 

"Oh, stop," Haseul whined. 

"No really. She has!" Vivi insisted. 

"I mean, at the beginning of the summer she wouldn't even get in with me. Now she's making out in there!" Yeojin said.

"I hate that you know what making out is," Hyunjin mumbled. 

"She can tread, do stroke, butterfly, front and back crawl, backstroke, and freestyle!"

"Really? And you couldn't even swim at the beginning of the summer?" Hyunjin spoke with surprise. 

"I didn't even know there were so many different ways to swim. I only knew dog paddle." 

"Honestly...that's kind of amazing," Hyunjin said. 

Heejin smiled. "Yeah." 

Yeojin scoffed. "I gotta give it to you." 

Haseul looked down at the sheet beneath her, trying not to cry. 

"You got it. You got it, baby," Vivi said softly, and then Haseul couldn't stop herself. 

Luckily it was quiet, and everyone looked their own way, so nobody noticed Haseul for a while. Until Yeojin spoke up. 

"I think it might be popsicle time." 

"You know what, Yeojin? You are absolutely right," Hyunjin answered. The girls all looked at each other, making sure it was okay to head out, before starting to pack up their things. It didn't take long with five hands helping, and soon enough they were on their way. 

"Popsicles! Popsicles!" Yeojin shouted, laughing and running, the other girls struggling to keep up with her. Haseul was last, a bit behind, but she wasn't left behind. 

She took a pause to turn around and look. The sun, lower in the sky, just before setting time. The almost empty beach. The sounds, the smells, the taste she could barely taste on the tip of her tongue. But she wouldn't let her heart ache over all of it. She smiled, and ran after the rest of the girls.