It had been a few days since the kiss (as Haseul thought of it in her head) and things had been, well, just as amazing as Haseul thought it would be in her most wild fantasies. 

Some, not all, but some of her shyness had finally drifted away, and Haseul was beginning to feel like she could really, truly be herself around the girl. She could double or even triple text her without feeling like an idiot in unrequited love. She could flirt shamelessly and make cheesy dad jokes and send her selfies without feeling self-conscious because Vivi always flirted back, she always laughed at her jokes no matter how bad they were, and she always heaped compliments onto Haseul after she got a picture: even if she didn’t feel pretty herself it was impossible to deny that Vivi at least thought she was beautiful. 

And the dates. Oh, the dates. It was never anything too big, just walks and ice cream and dipping toes in the water at our beach. But to a touch-starved teenager like Haseul, it was literal magic. Holding hands everywhere, having Vivi’s head on her shoulder when they sat, sharing far more kisses than Haseul ever imagined she’d get with the girl: it was a real-life fairy tale. 

Basically, they were girlfriends. Neither of them had said it yet, but Haseul knew that’s what they were, and she was sure Vivi felt the same. Before this summer, let alone a few weeks ago, Haseul would have never believed she could be anyone’s girlfriend without them grabbing her by the shoulders, looking her in the eyes, and insisting it to be true. But she had grown up, gained some strength and confidence, and she could actually believe it. 

Today though, Haseul wasn’t sure if she could see her girl. It was okay, they probably needed a break from each other anyway, but Haseul’s belly still ached from the thought of it. Her grandma had called her into her room, and that probably meant she needed Haseul to do something for her. 

“Hi dear.” 

“Hello grandma, how have you been?” 

The older woman shrugged, a small smile on her lips. The smile on Haseul’s lips faded as she watched her grandma, seated on her rocking chair, reach or the vanity, her hands dotted with sunspots and slightly shaky. Ever slowly, she rustled through her wallet and pull out a few twenties. 

“School is starting soon, yes?”

Haseul barely managed to keep the smile on her face: now that was something she did not want to think about. 

"Yeah. I go back in a couple weeks." Just saying those words put her on the edge of tears. No Yeojin, no Heejin, no Hyunjin, no Allison, no Egret Cove...no Vivi. She wanted to collapse. 

But she couldn't waste her time thinking about the future, god, she had to live in this moment, experience it to its fullest without distractions. Really, it was all she could do to not be miserable. 

"And Yeojin goes back in a month," her grandmother answered, pulling Haseul from her mind back into the old fashioned bedroom. The older woman sighed softly. "Junior high. She's really growing up, isn't she..." 

"Yeah. She is." 

It was weird to be on the other side of things: not the one getting cheek kisses, not the one getting cooing from the adults that oh, hadn't she gotten so big now, not the one being told of her own baby stories that she couldn't even remember. Now she was crossing over into the world of watching younger kids grow up. When she was young, she had always thought it was strange how adults talked to kids about these things. But she kinda got it now. It was a thing to commemorate, children reaching each stage of their lives, children experiencing the growth and hardships you did. Not knowing where to draw the line between protecting them and letting them learn for themselves. 

Middle school. A time, a place, filled with memories that made Haseul want to run to her bedroom, get under the covers, and cry. Haseul didn't care if it would hinder Yeojin's ability to grow as a person in the long run, she would do anything to help her avoid the things she went through in those years. But most likely, Yeojin wouldn't have to. They're so different after all, and Yeojin's been through more than Haseul probably ever would. Even if she did encounter the bull Haseul went through, she probably handle it much, much better. But Haseul didn't want her to. 

"Junior high can be such a...strange time." 

Haseul scoffed. "That's for sure.' 

"I was that age a very long time ago. But from everything I see I don't think it has changed very much." Her grandmother sighed again. "Well...if it's anything like how I remember, she'll need to...update her wardrobe. I haven't been able to buy her clothes in so long..." She paused speaking, a guilty look crossing her face, and Haseul just ached at the thought of how much she probably wanted for Yeojin, for her past and her future, but could not give. 

She shakily passed the twenties to Haseul. "Could you take her shopping for me?" 

"Of course!" She wouldn't be able to see Vivi, but this would still be fun. "Except, I don't need the money. I've been working, I can get the clothes." 

"No, no, I insist." Her grandmother opened Haseul's hand and pressed the money into her palm. "It's the least I can do. You do... you do so much for her." 

With a soft sigh, Haseul closed her hand and stuffed the money into her pocket. "Alright. I'll take her to the mall today." 

"Thank you so much dear. Grandma loves you very much." 

"I love you too." Haseul leaned down to give her grandmother a hug. She was slow to hug back and so thin in her hold but she did too. Haseul pulled away with a sad smile, waved, and went back into the kitchen. 

"There you are! I've been waiting forever." Yeojin pulled a box of lucky charms out of the cabinet and set it on the table along with two bowls. She filled one of them and grabbed the milk too but didn't do anything with it. "When are we going to the beach? What did grandma want?" 

"Actually, I'm gonna take you shopping today." Haseul sat down across from Yeojin as the ten year old began to dig through her bowl of dry cereal, pulling out the marshmallows and dropping them into the separate bowl. 

"What?" Yeojin looked shocked and slightly annoyed. 

"Grandma gave me some money. She said you needed new clothes for school. It's starting soon, you know." 

Yeojin groaned loudly. "I hate shopping! When I was younger Grandma always made me ruffly stuff from online. All my cool clothes are birthday gifts from my friends." 

"Well, this time I'll be taking you. You can pick out whatever you'd like as long as it's appropriate and fits well." 

"Can I get high heels?" Yeojin continued to sort the cereal. 

"Um...no. You can pick out whatever you'd like as long as it's appropriate, fits well, and is practical." 

Yeojin let another, even louder groan and threw her head back in the chair. "Fine." 

"Come on, it'll be fun!" 

"Is Vivi coming" 

"Um...I mean, no..." 

"What? You have to bring her!" 

"Really?" Haseul couldn't help but smile; she thought she wasn't going to be able to see Vivi that day. But if Yeojin wanted her there Haseul would invite her, for damn sure. 

"Ugh, you're such a simp...but she needs to come. I have to scope her out. Cross examinate her. Investigate her." 

"Haven't you done that enough already?" 

"No? Now that's she's your official GF I have to make sure she's good enough for you!" 

"Well, technically she's not my girlfriend yet..." Haseul said, but still pulled out her phone to invite her with a little smile. 

"You guys are girlfriends! Come on!" 

"I know, I know. You're right." Just a few seconds after Haseul sent the text Vivi answered, excitedly saying she could come. 

"Of course. I always am." 

"Alright, Vivi's coming." 

"Thank god." Yeojin finally finished whatever the hell she was doing and passed Haseul one of the bowls. It was technically lucky charms but there were no marshmallows, all of them in Yeojin's bowl which she was rapidly filling with milk. "I made you breakfast." 

Haseul snorted. "Really?" 

"Hurry up. Let's get going." 

Haseul just laughed and ate it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

An hour or so later and the three girls were all in Haseul's car, making their way to the mall a few towns over. Haseul rested one of her hands on Vivi's thigh, and somehow this felt so right. 

"I bet you don't know this, Vivi, but Haseul's actually really cool. She seems like a total dork but that's part of her coolness, actually." 

Vivi chuckled at that. "Actually, I did know that." 

"Good, good. Haseul's one of my best friends. Not my number one best friend, no offense-" 

"None taken," Haseul mumbled with a smile under her breath. 

"But one of them." 

"You're one of mine too!" Haseul said, her heart blooming with affection for her little cousin. 

"Mmh," Yeojin answered, digging through her froggie backpack.

When she was distracted, Vivi leaned close to whisper to Haseul. "Does she have friends her own age?" 

"She told me she does," Haseul answered, soft at the worry in Vivi's voice. "Apparently they just all went on vacation over the summer." 

Vivi pulled away with a disgusted expression on her face. "Vacation? When we live at the beach?" 

"I know right!" Yeojin cried, hearing Vivi's last sentence. "Who would take a vacation from Egret Cove? We live at the best beach in the world! Actually, all my friends from school went on vacation. I kinda want to go but really, their families are just losers for not appreciating our nice beaches." 

"Agreed," Vivi answered, and her and Haseul shared a look of relief. 

Haseul pulled into the mall parking lot, only moderately full, and the girls hopped out. It was a hot day so all three were dressed in shorts, Vivi's freshly dyed brown hair pulled into a ponytail. If they weren't in public and with her ten year old cousin, Haseul would have pelted her face with kisses just for how pretty she looked. 

The girls walked in and let Yeojin take the way. Of course, she dragged them around to every tweenie store: Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, and H&M (although Haseul did insist they make a stop at Old Navy so Yeojin should have some t-shirts that didn't say like I love tacos on them). They even grabbed pretzels and slushies after the fact, the weird perfumey mall smell filling their noses. 

"Ooh! Claire's!" Yeojin cries, passing the brightly colored store as the girls were finally leaving the mall. 

"Come on, we should head home-" 

"No! Can we just go in, please? Please?" 

Haseul and Vivi shared a look. Vivi nudged her head towards the store and Haseul sighed. "Fine. But we're just looking." 

Yeojin gave Haseul a smirky little grin and they headed into the store. Yeojin headed straight for the earring rack and Haseul and Vivi looked at each other. 

"I don't think I've been in here since I was fourteen," Vivi admitted

"I don't think I've....ever been in here," Haseul admitted back. In middle school, this was the store the popular girls would get their jewelry from. It wasn't a store for her. 

Vivi squeezed Haseul's hand. "The stuff is silly and cheap, but it's fun." 

"It was kinda the popular girl thing at my middle school-"

"Guys! Guys!" Yeojin ran over to them and held up a heavy cardboard slip with about twenty pairs of stud earrings attached. They had different junk foods on them: hamburgers, hot dogs, chips, ice cream cones, that kinda thing on them. And they were sparkly. 

Haseul looked down at the price (twelve dollars) and shook her head. "I don't think so. Didn't I say we were just looking?" 

"But I had this great idea! What if we split it? Like you took some of them and Vivi took some of them and I had some of them! Wouldn't that be cool? Please? Come on Haseul, don't be a lame-o..." 

Haseul sighed deeply. "I don't think so..." 

Yeojin pouted and sighed, not moving just yet. Vivi turned to Haseul with a pleading look. 

"Come on. Don't you want hot dog earrings?" Vivi caressed Haseul's ear. "It would look so cute on you." 

Haseul flushed and cursed herself for the fact that it did kinda want to make her buy the earrings. Yeojin humphed and headed back to the earring rack when Haseul didn't answer.  

"I'll pay for them," Vivi said. 

"But that's not the point-" 

"I know." She tucked a lock of hair behind Haseul's ear. "You're...you're so past that, you know. A pair of earrings doesn't mean you want to be like them. It doesn't mean Yeojin does either. They were the ones that made it a popular girl thing but it doesn't need to be that way. Claire's is for everybody." 

Haseul looked up into Vivi's pretty eyes and inevitably, knew she was right. She sighed. "Yeojin?" 

"What?" Yeojin shouted back, annoyed, from across the store. 

"Let's go buy those earrings." 

Yeojin came running back to them wearing a big grin. "Thank you thank you thank you!" 

"But I get the hot dog earrings," Haseul said as they went up to the counter and she paid. 

"They're all yours," Yeojin answered. Vivi left them to peek at the headbands, and Yeojin gave her a quick glance before getting on her tippy toes to whisper in Haseul's ear. 

"I approve." 

"What?" 

"I scoped Vivi out. And I approve." 

Haseul smiled, thinking about how she would style those damn hot dog earrings for work the next day.