The idea of a party was something that didn't seem real in Haseul's mind. 

Yes, she heard about parties. Of course she had seen them in movies and TV shows, and Jinsoul and Jungeun told her all about the parties they went to. She had been invited to parties: only ever by Jinsoul and Jungeun of course, but still. And she had even been to parties: her parent's parties, children's birthday parties too. But none by or for teenagers. 

So of course Haseul would get nervous when she got a party invitation: the first party she'd actually wanted to go to. 

Heejin and Hyunjin had texted her that they were planning a small party on the beach, with just a few of their friends, and they really wanted Haseul to come. There would be a bonfire and food from Allison's 24 Hour and beers they had managed to obtain (aka steal from their dads). Haseul, of course, had an aversion to almost everything: groups of people, meeting new people, parties, etc. But...Haseul wanted to go. Really, really bad. She wasn't sure why: maybe because she liked Heejin and Hyunjin, maybe because she wanted to try alcohol, maybe because part of her was curious about parties. 

But, there was something holding her back. Haseul knew how it was: when her friends got around their better friends, they just ditched her. She just knew that Heejin and Hyunjin would talk to their friends the whole night and Haseul would be alone. 

There was one way to fix this, though...if Haseul brought someone she was closer to than the rest, someone shy and introverted, they could just cling for the rest of the night. And, for once, Haseul knew the perfect person to bring. 

Yes, it would be nervewracking to ask Vivi to come. But it wasn't so crazy. She knew Heejin and Hyunjin and probably knew their friends, but not well enough that she'd be closer to them than Haseul. It was a whole group of people too, so it wouldn't be like a date. It would be easier. 

So, Haseul pulled out her phone to text her crush. She'd have to get Vivi's conformation before she agreed to go. 

hey!!! Haseul texted Vivi, the first messages they had sent to each other. 

heejin and hyunjin are having a party

idk if i can bring anyone but if i can do u wanna come with??? 

omg dont feel like you have to hahah i just wanted to ask 

After sending the message Haseul immediately flipped her phone over, but to her surprise she received an answer right away. 

i would love to!!! that sounds really fun. when is it?

tonight, Haseul answered.

at our beach

i think theyre doing a bonfire thing too

Haseul saw the three dots of Vivi answering as soon as her next message went through, before she could even lock her phone. 

yessss i cant wait! let me know if theyre okay w me coming

With shaking fingers, Haseul opened her group chat with Heejin and Hyunjin to answer their invitation. 

yes im so down

is it okay if i bring someone?

Hyunjin answered pretty quickly.

uh we're gonna have alcohol idk if its a good idea to bring yeojin

NO! Haseul immediately responded. 

i wanted to bring vivi 

OMG, Heejin rapidly answered. 

you better bring her!! Hyunjin added. 

im so proud of u bb, Heejin finished. 

Haseul smiled and answered Vivi, telling her she could come before locking her phone. She was proud of herself too. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After making sure her grandmother and Yeojin had a real dinner, Haseul got ready for the party and made for the door. 

"Um, excuse me." 

Haseul turned around to see Yeojin staring at her, her arms crossed over her chest. 

"What?" 

"Where are you going? You're dressed up and stuff." 

Haseul wouldn't exactly call herself dressed up; she was just wearing interesting pants and some makeup. But she still made an embarrassed face at the ground. 

"Um...I'm going to a party...?" 

"Whose?"

"Heejin and Hyunjin's...." 

Yeojin gasped. "Without me?!" 

"It's a teen party!" 

"So? Can I come?" 

"Yeojin, I'm sorry...." 

Yeojin gave a very aggressive eye roll. "Why not?" 

Haseul's voice dropped down to a whisper. "There's gonna be alcohol and stuff..." 

"Ew!" Yeojin cried, before sighing. "Teenagers are so boring. Are you gonna get drunk?" 

"Shh!" Haseul didn't exactly want her grandmother hearing all of this. 

"Is it just Heejin and Hyunjin?" 

"No. Their friends from school are coming. Plus I'm bringing Vivi." 

Yeojin gasped. "You're bringing Vivi?" 

"I know, right?" Haseul said with a proud smile. 

Yeojin rolled her eyes, standing standing firmly at the doorway. "Okay, fine. You can go to this stupid boring teenager party without me. But you have to tell me every single thing that happened with you and Vivi." 

"I'm sorry, Yeojin. We'll hang out tomorrow," Haseul said as she slipped on her shoes. 

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Haseul worried Yeojin was actually upset before the ten year old grinned at her. "I don't want to hang out with stupid teenagers anyways. Just get that girl." 

Haseul chuckled. "I'll do my best Yeojin. Have a good night." 

"You too, I guess," Yeojin groaned before Haseul shut the door. 

The seventeen year old practically skipped two houses down to Vivi's before placing a few knocks on the door. Vivi opened almost instantaneously and Haseul was practically frozen in place: her electric orange hair and flip flops contrasted so perfectly with her little lacey white dress, bright eyes somehow sparklier than usual (and they were usually sparkly), and it was so her. Haseul was so blown away she didn't even notice how quickly Vivi opened up, the girls sharing a little giggle, about what, neither of them even knew at that point. 

"Hi," Vivi said in her angelic voice. 

"Hey," Haseul answered, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

"Thank you for inviting me."

"Well, thank you for coming." 

They shared another shy glance. 

"So...shall we?" 

"Yeah." Vivi giggled. "That's probably a good idea." 

So the girls took the short walk down to Our Beach, the summer sun finally setting but still casting soft light on everything it could touch, chatting about their literally nothing days but  it was easy, getting easier and easier every day. It wasn't like this for everyone, with Haseul. With most people, it could never be easy. 

The bonfire was already ablaze when Haseul and Vivi arrived, Heejin and Hyunjin and their friends chattering away and snacking at the Allison's 24 Hour leftovers laid out around them. As soon as the girls spotted them, they were greeted with overexcited waves and beckons to come closer. 

"Haseul! Vivi! We're really glad you could make it," Hyunjin said, giving the girls a hug. 

"We even saved you guys some milkshakes," Heejin said, passing a pink one to Vivi and a light brown to Haseul. 

"They're probably already melted, but still," Hyunjin mumbled. 

"Hi Vivi!" A voice spoke out from the crowd of Heejin and Hyunjin's friends. A smiley girl leapt up and gave Vivi the most massive hug which Vivi politely (although less enthusiastically) returned. The other girls, far quieter than their friend, also waved at the sherbert haired girl. 

"Hey Jiwoo," Vivi answered, but this girl (apparently named Jiwoo) had already turned her attention to Haseul. 

"Oh my gosh are you Haseul? I've heard so much about you!" She squealed a little. "I'm Jiwoo!" 

Haseul held out her hand but Jiwoo just gave her a hug. With a smile shared with Vivi, she returned it. 

Jiwoo pulled away quickly and looked at the other girls. "These are our other friends: my girlfriend Sooyoung (Jiwoo pointed to a girl who looked way too cool for Haseul to even look at, with short hair and clothes probably bought on some scary website like dollskill, who would have the balls to go into a Spencer's in the mall to buy a ), Hyejoo (who looked like she stepped out of one of those scene culture revival instagram accounts; definitely a kuromi girl, also probably was courageous enough to shop on dollskill or even go into a Hot Topic), and Chaewon (the my melody girl to Hyejoo's kuromi, despite having that shy vibe also probably had enough strength and bravery to shop on dollskill, although in a different section than Hyejoo or Sooyoung). Heejin and Hyunjin shared a fond chuckle, this was clearly not unusual behavior for Jiwoo. 

"Thanks for introducing the girls," Heejin said. 

"No problem! I'm just so glad you came!" Jiwoo answered, giving Haseul another hug. 

"M-me too," Haseul answered. 

Sooyoung snorted and looked up at her girlfriend, pulling a beer out of the sand. "I think we're gonna need some of this." 

"Already?" Jiwoo cried loudly. 

"Yes, please," Hyejoo very quietly groaned. 

Haseul and Vivi finally sat down, nerves beginning to build in her stomach. Did these girls drink all the time? Would Haseul be the odd inexperienced one out? Well...she'd just have to find out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Haseul very quickly realized that no, these girls did not drink all the time, that they were just as inexperienced as herself, and that they were all absolute lightweights. A couple beers in and the girls were a wreck: Sooyoung and Jiwoo shamelessly making out in the sand, Heejin teaching Hyunjin some tiktok dance, and Hyejoo and Chaewon whispering to each other with one earbud in each, so loud Haseul could hear them listening to MCR. 

So, everyone was distracted enough when Haseul realized that alcohol really did give her some confidence. She'd always heard that drinking gave you balls but didn't ever really believe it until she was rolling up her pants to go put her feet in the water. 

The air was cool but not cold and the waves crashing against the shore simply sounded delicious; for once Haseul wanted to feel that feeling for herself. So, not caring that she couldn't swim, not caring that she might seem stupid, Haseul ran down the shore from the bonfire to the ocean itself. 

When her toes hit the water a shiver, a good shiver went up Haseul's spine and she exhaled. There was peace momentarily. She couldn't see much, only the fire and the moon and the stars to light her way. But noise was heightened; the quiet sound of her friends and the fire behind her, the soft hitting of waves on the shore ahead. But she wanted more, to go deeper. 

So Haseul waded in, further and further, rolling her pants up more before taking more steps, deeper into the water, all quiet and calm until-

The crashing of feet in water from behind and suddenly, herself in someone's arms. After a moment of tipsy slowness it clicked that it was Vivi holding her, a tight back hug, those pretty little hands around Haseul's plush waist. Haseul shivered, again, another good shiver, but there was enough alcohol in her system to prevent Haseul's usual freak out at any sort of human contact, let alone human contact with the object of her affections. 

"What are you doing?" Vivi whined into her back; through just her voice it was obvious Vivi was just as drunk as Haseul was. 

"I wanted to touch the water. It looked delicious." 

Vivi laughed and the vibrations tickled Haseul's back more deliciously than the water tickling Haseul's rapidly freezing legs. 

"But you can't swim!" 

"You're teaching me, aren't you?" 

Haseul dipped her hands in the cool water and put them on top of Vivi's. The orange haired goddess giggled but didn't let go or even loosen her grip around Haseul. Vivi kept on giggles and Haseul mindlessly traced the cool water along the veins and bones of Vivi's hands and wrists, hoping and fearing remembering this in the morning. She was an idiot, an absolute fool, and nothing could be more embarrassing than the cringey way she touched Vivi this night without a hint of shame. And if Vivi remembered, that would just make this all worse. But if this stayed in her mind Haseul would cherish this night forever. Even if Vivi didn't love her back, even if they never saw each other again, this would be enough for Haseul's gay touch starved self: Vivi holding her, Haseul touching her back without fear, both of them staying like this, both of them liking it. It was soft, it was tender, and it was enough for Haseul, the girl who had never had anything more. 

"Don't drown, alright?" Vivi nestled herself into Haseul's back and Haseul sighed at the sensation. 

"I won't. I promise I won't, for you." 

Vivi laughed, again, so loudly and Haseul simply relished the sound. Vivi's shy giggles and awkward chuckles were pretty and cute but her loud, unabashed laugh was something entirely different. 

"For me?" Vivi cried. "You won't drown for me? What about for yourself?" 

"Yeah, yeah, I guess," Haseul mumbled begrudgingly. 

Vivi nestled her small face into the crook of Haseul's neck. Seemingly, she looked out at the endless ocean, not a break in sight. Haseul looked out at it too. She felt small but still safe, grounded. Nothing could move her with Vivi gripping her this tight, like she would float away if she let go. 

"Don't drown," Vivi said, jokingly and serious, soft and firm. 

"I won't, for you, Vivi." 

Haseul turned around and suddenly, far too shy to look Vivi in the eye after this, after everything, launched herself into the crook of Vivi's shoulder. 

"Oh god...how are we gonna get home?" 

Vivi laughed loudly at that as the dark waves caressed their legs, tangled together, feet pressed against the soft sand. 

"I don't know, Haseul." Haseul breathed in the two gentle syllables of her own name. "I don't know."