seungwan was small. tiny. but her love for joohyun is bigger than the world itself – at least that's what joohyun thinks after she discovers a series of habits that seungwan has developed over the course of their relationship.

it starts with a subtle cling of her arms. then an arm around her shoulder. and then, finally, it blossoms into a tight embrace from which she never wants to extricate herself from. eventually, joohyun grows accustomed to having seungwan's arms constantly wrapped around her.

their feelings were never a secret, even to the other members. but perhaps it's the fear of rejection, the fear of ruining what they have that keeps them from being honest with each other. if things didn’t work out, they’d have to deal with the awkward consequences and residue feelings of a love that could never be. plus, a relationship, while they are still under watchful eyes of the public is definitely out of the question.

they'd rather settle for these gentle affections instead of risking it all for a maybe.

even so, being somewhere in between isn’t all that bad. they have almost everything save for vocal declarations of i love yous and it’s not the biggest deal to either of them. with their jobs, they had plenty of other things to worry about than their relationship.

but with each other, all those worries seem to melt away. joohyun thinks she’s found a tangible definition of love. and seungwan is more than glad to give all her love to her.

joohyun loves every bit of her, but certain parts tug at her heartstrings just a little more. sleepy seungwan has got to be her favourite so far. most of the time, the vocalist doesn’t try to hide her fondness for the latter. her actions are loud, bold, she isn’t afraid of showing her love. but when she’s flitting in and out of sleep, it makes joohyun certain that there’s no one else she’d rather love.

movie nights started a couple of weeks after seungwan recovered and was back in the dorms with the other members but with the conflicting schedules of the members, it was hard for them to spend time together. so she declared that they’d have to sit down for a movie every saturday night and nobody has the heart to deny her.

every saturday, the night begins with sooyoung and yerim fighting over what to watch and seulgi occasionally butting in even though she’s usually drowned out by the commotion. joohyun doesn’t have a preference most of the time unless it’s anything to do with horror and jump scares, those are a big nope for her. and seungwan’s just happy that they’re able to spend time together even if it’s sitting around their small living room and watching a movie in relative silence.

and every saturday, the night ends with seungwan falling asleep on joohyun’s shoulders before the movie is even close to ending. the other members are used to it by now, sitting through the entire film before mumbling a goodnight to joohyun who remains pinned to the couch because she can’t bear to wake seungwan up.

in these tranquil moments they spend in the living room of their dorm, joohyun discovers that seungwan has developed an endearing little habit. 

she first noticed it after a month into their weekly movie nights, the other members bidding her goodnight and seungwan is knocked out cold on joohyun’s shoulder. for the most part, she’s content with staring, their affections are more often shared behind the safety of locked doors. 

but maybe it’s the way seungwan somehow still manages to look like an angel with her hair falling over her face, mouth slightly agape in a barely audible snore and her hands interlocked with joohyun’s.

and all joohyun wants is a taste of heaven on her lips.

the leader doesn’t hesitate when she leans in to plant a kiss against seungwan’s soft lips, smirking with an aura of haughtiness because she thinks she’s just that sleek. the feeling fades as quickly as it arrives when the vocalist in her arms stirs with a soft whine.

“shh … go back to sleep, wan-ah.” joohyun coos apologetically, biting down on her lower lip as she curses seungwan’s light sleeper tendencies.

she watches as seungwan’s eyes open to squint, the haze of being drawn out of unconsciousness lingering heavily on her eyelids. the younger woman looks up at joohyun with a small yawn and she shifts closer to reciprocate the tender act of affection.

their lips meet again in a gentle peck and seungwan falls back into slumber without a second thought.

“are you just going to fall back asleep like that?” joohyun scoffs in an incredulous tone while being mindful of her volume.

seungwan responds with a soft snore and joohyun is certain that they’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

and it happens, again and again. she doesn’t tell seungwan about it, the vocalist doesn’t remember it in the mornings either. it’s a comical sight to behold when joohyun tries to kiss her multiple times and the vocalist tries returns each kiss instinctively as if her limbs move on their own accord. the realisation that even in her sleep, seungwan still loves her just as much, makes joohyun feel fortunate to be able to love someone like her.

it becomes a routine to find themselves tangled in each other’s embrace on sunday mornings, the taste of seungwan lingering on her lips and her heart filled to the brim with pure bliss.

thunderstorms have always been a foe for someone like joohyun who startles easily, except that there's no winning. how do you win against an unseen force?

but seungwan makes it feel possible. she's no god, she can't will the storms away but she can make joohyun look forward to them — and that counts for a win in her books.

a rumble of thunder in the distance and a flash of lightning through the dark skies causes her to jump even under the thick covers. exhaling through her nose, she hesitates — maybe she could still try to fall asleep before the storm fully hits.

all it takes is a sudden violent boom that catches her off guard for her to be racing to seungwan's room.

joohyun tiptoes across the hallway in the darkness, a recurring action on stormy nights like this. turning the knob to seungwan's room slowly, she pokes her head in for any sign that the younger woman is still awake. the figure lying in bed doesn't stir and joohyun contemplates turning back but another distant clap accompanied by lightning forking across the sky cements her decision.

she freezes after yelping a little, hoping that she didn’t wake seungwan but the other girl is, unfortunately, a light sleeper and is already scooting over to make space for her. the action makes her heart melt a little and she doesn't waste any time crawling into the little cocoon with her favourite person.

"can't sleep?" the small vocalist mumbles huskily, voice still drowsy with sleep as she drapes the duvet over her unnie.

the leader hums softly as she gets comfortable next to the younger woman who’s drifting in and out of sleep but somehow still tries to make sure that joohyun is warm and safe. once she’s sure that joohyun is settled, she promptly falls back asleep as if she’s never been woken. joohyun stays awake for a little longer, the thrumming in her heart caused by the thunder has yet to dissipate fully causing her to be more awake than she’d like to be. she traces seungwan’s features with a lingering gaze under the occasional spark of lightning, shifting ever so slightly in anticipation of a loud boom. when it does arrive, she cups her hands over her ears instinctively, forcing her eyes shut.

seungwan shifts beside her too and joohyun feels apologetic for causing such a ruckus in the middle of the night. while she and seulgi had been busy with their subunit schedules, seungwan has been camping out in the practice room, often returning much later than the duo.

opening her eyes, she finds herself within close proximity of seungwan, feeling her breath on her skin. then again, it’s not like it’s the first time they’re sharing a bed, so why is her heart rate picking up?

the vocalist is a little more sober now, she watches joohyun with a sleepy gaze before pushing herself closer to leave a soft kiss on her forehead.

"sleep." is the only thing she says but joohyun is left swooning with a large grin on her lips.

seungwan’s eyelids begin to shut again and joohyun ponders a little, she's already disrupted her sleep, what's a little harm in asking for more? the leader pokes a finger against the soft skin of seungwan's arm to rouse the girl from her sleep.

"hmm?" seungwan hums quietly without opening her eyes.

"can we cuddle?" joohyun whispers with a hopeful smile though she knows very well that seungwan would never deny her.

stifling a yawn, seungwan responds by inching a little closer and slipping her arm under joohyun's neck to envelop her in a warm hug. joohyun lets out a contented sigh as she buries her face into the safety of seungwan's chest.

"it's going to be a stormy week, should i expect you to come in every night?" seungwan questions sleepily while she leaves a series of gentle rhythmic pats against joohyun's back.

joohyun begins to fall asleep with the comfort of seungwan, "can i?"

an inaudible response leaves the vocalist’s lips but she does pull joohyun a little closer before dozing off once again. perhaps they should save this conversation for when she's soberer — provided if she even remembers.

the soft pitter-patter of rainfall turns into a heavy shower soon enough and being cuddled by seungwan lulls joohyun into a deep slumber. she hates thunderstorms because they were so loud and terrifying, she certainly doesn't enjoy being startled every few minutes. 

but god, she didn’t mind if storms last forever, to be wrapped up in seungwan’s embrace on nights like these hold a warmth she never wants to let go of.

their love grows with the days and joohyun finds herself itching to define what they have, yet she shoves the urge to the back of head, convincing herself that it’s not worth the risk. they’re comfortable with what they have, she’s content with seungwan’s love and she’s happy to pour all her love into the tiny vocalist too.

except, she craves some sort of vocal affirmation that differs from their usual physical sentiments of love. it isn’t exactly necessary but hell, she really wants to hear it from seungwan’s lips.

they find themselves sharing a bed each night — in who’s room depends on who’s the first one to cave and seek out the other’s presence.

in tonight’s case, seungwan is fast asleep with her back pressed against joohyun’s chest, sharing the older woman’s bed. joohyun stays up for a little, wrestling with her feelings before huffing slightly and attempting to fall asleep. the younger woman shifts instantly, turning to face her beloved and leaving a soft kiss on joohyun’s forehead without fully rousing from her slumber.

the words slip out of her lips almost unexpectedly, “i love you, wan-ah.”

“i love you too.” a soft mumble escapes seungwan’s throat as she answers.

it takes joohyun by surprise, she hadn’t expect herself to say these words so easily and to hear it from seungwan too. her eyes widen in shock while she confirms that the vocalist in her arms is definitely asleep. a stupidly large smile settles on her face and she pulls seungwan a little closer to her chest, taking in her sweet scent with a satisfied heart — maybe this is another one of her little sleepy habits.

“i love you, wan-ah.” joohyun repeats in a whisper, leaving a light peck against the crown of her head.

a response comes just as swiftly as the last, in an equally soft voice, “i love you too, joohyun-ah.”

now, who could really blame joohyun for falling head over heels for this lovable human?

“were you sleep talking last night?”

“no,” joohyun answers with a small yawn, “i’m pretty sure you would’ve woken me up.”

“then you must’ve missed what i said.”

the leader blinks blankly as she looks at seungwan with a hopeful gaze, having fully woken from the nervousness caused by her statement, “then, say it again.”

with a cheeky smile, the vocalist grants her wish easily, “i said, i love you too, joohyun-ah.”

a blush creeps up on her cheeks and she cracks into a small smile, “have you always been awake?”

seungwan nods with a small wink, “how else would i get your affection?”

joohyun lets out a playful huff as she straddles the younger woman, leaving trail of kisses from her soft lips down to her chest. “you’re going to get all of my love whether you like it or not.” 

“thank god i love it.”

“and i’m thankful to love you, son seungwan.”