Shuhua
Every Day I Learn (The Words You Never Say)Shuhua pulled away first, gasping for air.
“I need some oxygen!” Shuhua breathlessly laughed. Soojin chuckled and simply held her tighter. Shuhua nuzzled her neck. She reveled in the feeling of being in Soojin’s warm arms. But as she peered into Soojin’s eyes, something changed. Soojin dropped her arms and stepped away.
“Did I do something?” Shuhua asked uncertainly but Soojin violently shook her head and folded her arms.
“How could you say that? You should be mad at me! Why aren’t you mad?” Soojin shot back.
Shuhua opened and closed . What did Soojin want her to say? That she’d never forgive her? They both knew that was impossible. “I’m not mad because I trust you, Jjin-ah.”
Soojin’s brow furrowed and she abruptly turned and stomped down the hallway. Shuhua shadowed her. This was all wrong—they were supposed to be all loving and happy right now. But instead Soojin looked angry as hell. Was the moment already over? Shuhua had clung onto the thought of their reunion like a life buoy during those torturous hours at the hands of Yongsun. Ahead, Soojin stomped to the right and forcefully opened a door.
“Get in here.”
Shuhua meekly walked into the room. Soojin followed her inside and slammed the door shut. They were in an old library, tall stacks of books covering every surface. Shuhua suddenly remembered the package Soojin had wanted her to bring when she first escaped from the castle. The books were still in Yongsun’s hands, but luckily no one could understand the script save for members of the royal family.
“You must be wondering why I sold you out to Yongsun after we agreed to escape,” Soojin said.
Shuhua gulped. “I am,” she answered, “but at the same time it doesn’t matter that much to me.”
“Why not?”
“Because like I said earlier, I trust you. There must have been a good reason behind what you did.” Shuhua watched as Soojin balled up her fists and let out a shaky breath.
“What if I told you that your sole responsibility is to die?”
Shuhua leveled Soojin with a stare. “I’d accept it if you truly believed that was for the best.”
Soojin whirled around and swept a stack of books from the table. They crashed onto the floor, loose pages flying everywhere. Shuhua watched the dust settle. She’d never seen Soojin lose control like this. Soojin turned back toward her and gripped her shoulders.
“Do you hear what you’re saying? How could you accept death so easily? Do you not have any self love?”
Shuhua laughed hollowly. Why was Soojin saying these things?
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