[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkLd-o64t9A]

“And the Best Actress goes to….Kim Jisoo!” the host announced and it was followed by a round of applause. The one whose name was just called was stuck to her seat, still absorbing the information. After a few more seconds, she stood up, bowed to her colleagues who was cheering for her then walked up the stage to receive the award.

“Thank you so much for this award. This would not have been possible if not by the support of my director Kwak Jae-yong and our lovely cast: Yook Sungjae, Park Sooyoung, Choi Siwon, Choi Seung-hyun,Lee Hyeri and Park Yoochun. I would also like to thank my family and friends. I’ve always dreamed of receiving this award and now that I finally got it, it feels so surreal. I will continue to do great in everything that I will be a part of. So please, don’t stop supporting me.” Jisoo bowed in front of everyone and after another round of applause from the audience, she followed the host exiting the stage. Once she was backstage, she was met by best friend Park Chaeyoung who engulfed her in a tight hug.

“Unnie! Oh my god. I’m so proud of you!” Chaeyoung said as she gave the bouquet of flowers to her best friend who didn’t seem all happy that she just received the biggest award for an actress. Although she already knows why, she just can’t help but feel saddened that after all this time, the smile Jisoo once had, had not been seen. On screen, for sure you will see her smile widely but that was because she was required to do her part. But having known Jisoo for several years now, she knows when her best friend is showing a genuine smile or a fake one.

Jisoo thanked Chaeyoung then walked towards the lounge where they were serving food and drinks. They settled on one of the standing tables and asked the waiter to bring them some shots of vodka. When the shot glasses were lined up in front of her, she drank one by one. Chaeyoung’s eyes bulged when she saw Jisoo taking the shots one after the other. It happened so fast that she didn’t have time to react and stop her best friend. After draining the fifth one, Jisoo shook herself then called the attention of another waiter.

“Unnie what the hell are you doing?” Chaeyoung whispered so as not to get any attention from the other personalities having their drinks as well. Jisoo looked at her the girl in front of her and although the alcohol already kicked in she still wanted more. When the next batch of shots were laid on the table, she took the first (technically sixth) glass and drained it as well and Chaeyoung really had to step in, she fished out the next glass and drained it. Since Jisoo’s senses were a bit slow because of the liquor she just consumed, her reflexes failed her when her best friend finished the rest of the shots.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” Chaeyoung said as she carefully guided Jisoo out of the events place and to her car avoiding the paparazzi who would have a field day if they saw the best actress looking like . She strapped her in the front seat and went to her side and drove home. Jisoo was out cold the moment she started the car.  

When Jisoo woke up the next day, she felt someone’s presence beside her and a smile formed on her lips thinking that the past months had just been one bad dream. But when she looked at the person, the smile turned upside down when she realized that it was her best friend. She was hopeful for a moment but as always she was wrong. She slowly got out the bed, not minding the pounding on her head and went inside her bathroom to shower. When she was done, she put on new clothes and went down the kitchen to make some coffee and breakfast. Her preparing food for two was something she was used to and that never changed even when she left her so it was also a good thing that Chaeyoung or Lisa checks up on her every morning without fail so the food did not go to waste.

Chaeyoung and Lisa are part of the maknae line in their group of friends and became a couple just a few months after Jennie and her did. They used to spend more time, just the four of them but ever since the break up, ChaeLisa somehow thought that seeing them together would not help her move on because it would remind her how it used to be always the four of them. Jisoo never said anything about it as she just let them do what they want. But in all honesty, she envies her maknaes, because they made it work. Despite the conflicting schedules, sometimes time zone difference when one has to go overseas for a project or promotion, they always make sure they make time for each other, whether it was just a simple phone call or an exchange of lengthy messages. She would not be surprised if they get engaged anytime soon because she knows how much they love each other cause they are perfect together. She would have proposed to Jennie, she really had plans to do so, she was just waiting for the right timing. But fate has other plans for them because after five years of being together, Jennie still left her.

Flashback…

Jisoo came home after a tiring day of endless auditions. Being an aspiring actress, she really wants to land her first gig in a drama or a movie. The house was quiet which was unusual and something about the stillness of the fine night makes her nervous and she can't figure out why. She placed her keys on the table and went up to their room. The light was still open which means that Jennie was still awake. A smile formed on her lips as she thought that her girlfriend stayed up waiting for her. After the day she had all she wanted was to cuddle with her best girl. But as soon as she opened the door she was met by a scene she never thought she would have to see. Luggages on the floor and Jennie sitting on the bed with puffy eyes. Jisoo immediately approached her girlfriend and hugged her.

"Hey what's wrong baby?" Jisoo asked as if she didn't know what get what it meant.

Jennie didn't hug her back but instead she removed herself from Jisoo's embrace and went to her bags, gripping the handle.

"I'm sorry Jisoo, but I'm leaving you" Jennie said as she fought the tears verging to fall from her eyes. Jisoo was one to not show her tears easily but this was crushing her.

"W...why?"

"I'm not happy anymore Jisoo. And I don't know why you can't see that. I have not been happy for a long time!"

Shocked with the revelation, Jisoo just stood there trying to find the reasons why Jennie said those words. They just celebrated their anniversary and she remembers Jennie being so happy that day.

"Baby w...what are you saying?"

"Oh c'mon Jisoo. Don't be stupid. There are no cameras around so you don't need to put up an act. We have not been happy for a while now. And deep inside you know that."

"I...I don't understand. We are happy. Baby, if there's anything wrong that I did please let me know. Let's fix this" Jisoo pleaded. She really thought that everything between them was doing great. They even bought a house together so they don't have to miss each other every night. A house where they could spend their future together with their dogs Dalgom, Kuma and Kai.

"That's a whole lot of bull crap! Are you freaking blind Jisoo? Why can't you see that, this, whatever this is between us is just for convenience. Yeah we did fall in love once upon a time but that was a long time ago." Jennie spat and all Jisoo could do was beg her to stay.

"Jennie please don't do this. I love you. Is that not enough of a reason for you to stay?" Jisoo begged as she knelt down on the floor.

Jennie gripped her bag harder, took a deep breathe and said, "It..it isn't for me" Then she walked out of the room and out of the house. Jisoo stayed on the floor, having no strength to even follow Jennie. How it came to this, she'll never understand. Is love sometimes really not enough for one to stay?

End of Flashback…

After Jennie left, Jisoo did her best to forget. She focused on her career and after several failed auditions she finally got her first major role and it was the most talked about movie. From the moment she was given the script to the first and last day of filming, everytime she goes home it doesn't feel the same anymore. She should be happy because she was finally doing something she has always wanted since she can remember and even if people had been supporting her and cheering for her, there's always going to be that one person you'd want to be with you to celebrate the achievement. 

When Jisoo had the first script reading with the cast, they were really impressed that she did her lines while also crying, specially the scene where the partner leaves. What the others didn't know was Jisoo was actually transported down to memory lane when the exact situation happened to her.

She still remembers that morning Jennie walked out of her life. How everything turned dark the moment the light that Jennie brought to her life was gone. How even the smallest thing inside the house reminds her of how they both carefully decided on what to buy. Pictures that still hung on the stairs, how they planned to fill that wall with memories of important events in their lives. All seems meaningless now that she is alone. Jisoo never slept in their room since that day. reminds her of wonderful moments they shared, waking up being peppered with kisses, days when clothes from the closet are scattered because Jennie cannot decide on what to wear and Jisoo carefully arranging them after. Where she went wrong or where it all went wrong, she have no idea.  It kills her inside but she gets by. She's just thankful that her friends and her work distract her somehow. All she knows is that not a day went by that Jennie was not the last thing on her mind.