https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpEeTn3bLyc

 

Six Years Ago...

 

"Yo dude, sign up sheets for the music club have already been posted. We better hurry or else we won't be able to put our names" her friend Tzuyu said as she dragged Chaeyoung towards the auditorium.

 

"Alright alright. Just chill Tzu. I know who the president is so we'll be able to audition for sure"

 

"Yeah nope. I don't want any advantages" her tall friend countered as she continued to drag her small friend. With the obvious height difference, people they passed by will think a kid was being dragged by some bully or something.

 

They reached the auditorium and there was already a long line so the tall friend was pissed.

 

"I told you to hurry. Dammit. We might lose our chance here"

 

"Hey! It's not my fault that I have short legs you know"

 

The line soon shortened and only a few more people left before they could reach the sign up table. When it was their turn, Tzuyu wrote her information right away. When it was already Chaeyoung's turn, it was like her brain short circuited when she saw the person in front of her.

 

"Just put your name and contact details here"

 

In Chaeyoung's eyes, it was like everything was moving in slow motion (cue in some cheesy bgm). In her mind, everything was moving in fast forward (where she got to know this angel's name, being her girlfriend, fiance, wife and having a family of their own). It was really just about a minute or two that when she went back to reality, the people around her were laughing, even her future wife, the girl in front of her.

 

"You okay there?" she asked and Chaeyoung could only nod. It wasn't until Tzuyu nudged her that she got her senses back.

 

Chaeyoung then finally wrote her details and the girl smiled at her and gave her, her audition number. Their hands touched for a moment and Chaeyoung swore she felt the spark there. Since she was the last one to sign up, the girl started arranging the papers.

 

Another girl arrived, Chaeyoung knew who she was because the girl was popular.

 

"You done here Mina?" she said and the angel nodded. Chaeyoung was smiling like an idiot once again as the voices in her head cheered for knowing the angel's name.

 

The auditionees were asked to enter the auditorium by number and they all waited their turn. Chaeyoung wasn't even paying attention to what was happening around her because she was busy staring at Mina who was assisting some people. The number of people started to lessen as the audition progressed and there were only two more people left. Tzuyu's name was called so she stood up and went on stage. That somehow got Chaeyoung's attention as she knows how her best friend spent sleepless nights practicing her audition piece.

 

"Hi my name is Tzuyu and I'll be singing Sway by Michael Buble"

 

As this was an audition for the school's acapella group, there was no backing music. All eyes were tuned into Tzuyu as she started singing and once it was done, Chaeyoung was cheering loudly. She did see one of the members doing the same and it left her smirking. Chaeyoung's number was then called and as she greeted Tzuyu who was on her way back to her seat, they did their handshake.

 

The mic had to be adjusted because you already know why and Chaeyoung looked around the auditorium and finally landed her sight on Mina.

 

"Hi everyone, my name is Chaeyoung and I'll be singing my version of Justin Bieber's song, Boyfriend"

 

As she started singing, she focused her eyes on Mina, but would shift to the others from time to time. Not to boast but Chaeyoung considers herself talented so she wasn't surprised that as soon as started, she already captivated the audience. After she bowed, her eyes locked on Mina once again but this time, Mina was also looking back.

 

Five Years Ago...

 

Chaeyoung was waiting outside their house for her cousin to pick her up. Wendy, one of the most popular alumnus of JYS University was back in town for a break and since Chaeyoung and her were really close, she decided to pick her up on her way to school.

 

A familiar car stopped in front of their house and Chaeyoung greeted her cousin as she stepped out from the driver's seat.

 

"Wendy unnie!" Chaeyoung said as she hugged the older.

 

"How are you kiddo?" Wendy greeted back.

 

"Hey! I'm not a kid anymore. But yeah, I'm doing great"

 

When they parted the hug, Wendy eyed her cousin with a smirk. "Is it because of a certain girl?"

 

Chaeyoung at lying and she really not good at hiding her emotions so even with just that simple question, her cheeks turned into a rosy pink.

 

"H...how did you know?" Chaeyoung asked curiously.

 

Wendy flipped her now short hair. "You seem to forget that I still have friends there. Of course I keep tabs on you"

 

Right, Jihyo, the current president of the music club was Wendy unnie' ex fling - Chaeyoung thought.

 

"So you gonna tell me about this girl?" Wendy said as she leaned on her car.

 

"I thought you keep tabs on me, so you should already know who that person is"

 

"But me hearing it directly from you is different" Wendy looked at her wristwatch. "We still have an hour left before school starts so tell me more about her during breakfast"

 

With that, they got inside the car and drove to their favorite diner. When they reached the place, they went in and were greeted by the owner.

 

"Omo! The Sons are here. Long time no see Seungwan" the owner said as they led them to their usual table.

 

"Good to be back Miss Kim or should I say future Mrs. Hwang?" Wendy said as they were given the menu.

 

Tayeon, the owner of the diner blushed as she got her order pad ready. After a few minutes, they told their orders and went inside the kitchen.

 

"So, what's her name?" Wendy asked Chaeyoung as soon as Taeyeon left.

 

"Mina. She's Japanese. Did ballet for 11 years before focusing on music. She loves penguins. I'm not sure why. And oh, she puts ketchup on everything she eats..."

 

Wendy was just looking at Chaeyoung as she continued to tell her about Mina. Information she already knew because of her source. She is happy for her cousin and she just hopes this will bloom into something beautiful in the future.

 

Chaeyoung continues to tell Wendy about Mina and her life at uni as they ate their breakfast. And even until they got back in the car she just wouldn't stop. A trait that they both share.

 

It was only when they arrived at JYS University when she stopped talking. Only because she saw Mina at the gate with one of their seniors, Jeongyeon.

 

"Is that her?" Wendy asked and Chaeyoung nodded while watching them act sweetly.

 

Wendy immediately noticed her cousin's sadness.

 

"Hey cheer up cub. If you really like her, then let her know. There's no use in moping. If it doesn't work then at least you tried. It's better than not doing anything than regretting it later on. Who knows, maybe you do have a chance after all"

 

Chaeyoung appreciated what her cousin told her and it gave her the courage to confess to Mina. She really has been planning to do so and with the words of encouragement from Wendy, she started coming up with ways in her head on how she is going to do it.

 

It took another week before Chaeyoung set her plans in motion. It was no secret to her friends and her club members that she likes Mina. These plans included a surprise song during one of their club meetings and a well written confession. If things go well, a dinner reservation to end the night.

 

Chaeyoung knew it was a risk but like what her cousin said, you'll never know how it'll turn out if she doesn't make any move. And for the past year, her feelings towards Mina just grew stronger. Being a member of the music club helped a lot with those feelings because she gets to see her everyday. The club would sometimes get together on weekends just to do jam sessions or parties but they never got a chance to be alone. Everytime Chaeyoung thought of confessing, the timing was not always right because one person keeps on ruining it. Jeongyeon, the now senior member of the club, who seems to be always with Mina and that's what Chaeyoung was insecure of.

 

Jeongyeon was everyone's crush. Not only because of her looks, but also because she's talented, smart and kind among other things. If Mina would ever have to choose between her and Jeongyeon, she feels that the latter would have a better chance of being chosen. But Chaeyoung still wants to take the risk regardless.

 

Most of the classes ended at four in the afternoon, and as a routine, Chaeyoung, Tzuyu and Dahyun would head to the cafeteria to get some snacks and drinks before they went to the music room but this time Chaeyoung excused herself to go ahead to the room. When she got there, there was no one else which was perfect for her to practice what she wanted to say. She took the time to rehearse one more time. She did it about five times before taking the guitar and mindlessly strumming the chords to the song she was intending to sing.

 

Amidst her knowledge, another person already entered the room and was just watching her from the corner. Chaeyoung was oblivious to her surroundings that the newcomer was mouthing along with her as she sang the song.

 

If you stay forever, let me hold your hand

I can fill those places in your heart no else can

Let me show you love, oh, I don't pretend, yeah

I'll be right here, baby, you know I'll sink or swim

 

 Oh, oh, oh, don't

Don't you worry

I'll be there, whenever you want me

 

Chaeyoung finished the song so she placed the guitar back to its rack and was about to go to her seat when she heard someone clapping. As she turned around, her eyes almost bulged out its socket to see Mina standing in the corner.

 

"That was really beautiful Chaeng. You should do songs like that more often" Mina said as she approached Chaeyoung who seemed to be rooted to where she was.

 

Before she could respond, the other members have entered already and Chaeyoung mentally slapped herself for being slow on her response.

 

Voice in her head 1... You better make sure you go with your plan or else.

 

Voice on her head 2... Maybe another time?

 

V1... No better time than now Son Chaeyoung!

 

V2... It's okay Chaeng. You'll get another chance.

 

The voices in her head are making her confused and they both have a point. But she's been planning this for some time now so she knows she has to make a move.

 

Their teacher, Miss Boa handed them some new songs sheets and the usual bickering between Jihyo and Nayeon to take the lead happened. In the end, it was given to Jeongyeon. It was almost the end of their session and before they end every meeting, they would always have someone perform a song, it maybe for an entry for their line up in the upcoming events or just a song they jusy want to sing. Everybody gets a turn and today was supposed to be Dahyun's but Chaeyoung asked if she can take today's turn instead and her friend agreed.

 

So Chaeyoung stood up from her chair and walked towards the middle of the room. Everyone was staring at her now as she doesn't usually volunteer for this. She kept looking around the room and obviously trying not to meet Mina's eyes. On the side, her friends were silently cheering for her. After a few more minutes, she got the guitar, checked if it's on tune then began strumming.

 

I wanna follow where she goes

I think about her and she knows it

I wanna let her take control

'Cause everytime that she gets close, yeah

 

She pulls me in enough to keep me guessing (mmm)

And maybe I should stop and start confessing

Confessing, yeah

 

Oh, I've been shaking

I love it when you go crazy

You take all my inhibitions

Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

You take me places that tear up my reputation

Manipulate my decisions

 

Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back

There's nothing holdin' me back

There's nothing holdin' me back

 

Just like her audition, all eyes were glued on Chaeyoung as she sang her song and it didn't take a lot for the others to notice who she was looking at. The last chord was strummed and everyone gave her a round of applause. Normally, when someone finishes a song, they would end the meeting already but this was not an ordinary meeting, at least for Chaeyoung.

 

Miss Boa was about to stand up to give some last minute announcements but when she noticed Chaeyoung still in the middle, she gave her a nod of approval.

 

"I...I don't want to hold back anymore. I figured this would be a good time as any other time to let you know how I feel. Ever since I met you, you pulled me into a daze without you knowing. The way you say smile, lights up my day and I look forward to it every time. The way you speak, so gentle, soothes my being and calm the jitters in me. The way you sing, it's like the doors of heaven just opened and I can hear a choir of angels in your voice. I... don't want to hold back anymore on saying I like you Myoui Mina. Can I please have this chance to court you?"

 

To say that everyone especially Mina was surprised was an understatement. She never thought she'd hear a confession from Chaeyoung. She always saw her as a little sister and yes she's super talented, she never thought that it would be her she would like.

 

The other members were a mixed of reaction; Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Momo were shocked by the sudden confession, Sana and Jihyo who already had an idea that Chaeyoung and Mina could be a thing, Dahyun and Tzuyu who were so proud of their buddy, and there's Jisoo, Jennie, Rosè and Lisa who were overjoyed by what just happened.

 

When the others have recovered, they all looked at Mina and was waiting for her to say something.

 

Chaeyoung on the other hand, was mentally praying that this goes to where she really wants it to go.

 

Four years ago...

 

MiChaeng, as what their friends had been dubbing their relationship, are about to celebrate their first anniversary. Mina accepted Chaeyoung's confession, they dated for a couple of months before making it official. Chaeyoung was over the moon when Mina said yes and everyday since then, she never failed to make Mina happy.

 

Together with her buddies Dahyun and Tzuyu, they're currently hanging out in their secret lair and coming up with plans to celebrate the anniversary.

 

"Of all the celebrations, I can't think of a single plan to surprise Mina!"

 

Chaeyoung said as she sat down in her chair after opening a can of beer.

 

"You kinda overdid it the past 11 months though" Tzuyu said as she sat on the opposite chair thinking back on all the plans that the cub had set in motion. Some with the help of her buddies and Mina's buddies: Sana and Momo.

 

Dahyun however was focused on something in front of her laptop. When she figured it out, she called the other two.

 

"She's from Japan right?" Dahyun asked the obvious and both Chaeyoung and Tzuyu just rolled their eyes.

 

"Yeah you already know that" Chaeyoung sarcastically answered.

 

"I saw these super sale tickets for a three days two nights trip to Japan. And if my memory serves me right, she mentioned about missing her grandparents who are still in Japan"

 

She looked at the ad and it took a few seconds before Chaeyoung started jumping up and down and hugging her friends.

 

"OH ! THIS IS PERFECT!" Chaeyoung exclaimed. Dahyun and Tzuyu had to cover their ears because their friend was too loud.

 

When she calmed down, she replaced Dahyun in front of the laptop and immediately signed up to buy the tickets. She would do anything to keep Mina happy and this trip will definitely make her. Never mind being scolded by her dad because of the cost of the ticket, despite it being on sale, all she wants is to give Mina a celebration she would never forget.

 

Fast forward to a week, she printed out the tickets and securely placed it in an envelope with the addition of some hand made decorations. Mina and her had plans on meeting up at their favorite diner so she got ready then left the house on her Vespa.

 

When she got to the diner, she greeted Taeyeon and made her way to 'their' table. She was 30 minutes early so while waiting, she played some games on her phone. Ten minutes before 3 PM, she got a text from Mina that she was on her way.

 

A familiar car stopped in front of the diner later on and Chaeyoung felt a sting of jealousy when she saw Mina coming out of Jeongyeon's car. She then just waited for Mina to go inside. She greeted her with a kiss on her cheek before settling down in front of her.

 

"Hi babe. Did you wait long?" Mina asked.

 

"No, I got here about five minutes ago" Chaeyoung responded. They were given the menu by one of the waitress and a few seconds of scanning they gave the order.

 

Chaeyoung really didn't want to give it any other meaning but she was hell curious as to why Jeongyeon dropped her off instead of her mom which usually happens or her driving which rarely happens.

 

"Babe? Were you with Jeong earlier?" The moment the words left , Mina's reaction changed.

 

"She saw me on my way out of the house, said she was going to meet up with Nayeon and Jihyo at the mall so she drove me here since it’s on the way. Is there a problem?"

 

Chaeyoung mentally scolded herself for thinking wrong about what she saw.

 

"No. I was just surprised to see her drop you off" she answered the smiled. Mina didn't answer anymore as their food arrived.

 

After eating, Chaeyoung got the envelope out of her bag.

 

"Anything you want to do on our anniversary?" Chaeyoung asked.

 

Mina looked out the window and pondered her answer.

 

"Maybe an out of town trip? I can borrow mom's car and we could go on a road trip. I've been checking out this place in the mountains and it has great reviews as well"

 

Chaeyoung couldn't help but smile. "How about an out of the country trip"

 

Mina looked at her with a questioning look.

 

"Huh? What do you mean?" She had no idea what her girlfriend was planning this time.

 

So Chaeyoung handed her the envelope and waited until Mina finishes reading it.

 

Mina had to reread what was written on the paper that Chaeyoung have given her and she couldn't help but let her tears fall. Which made Chaeyoung worried that she changed her seat and sat down next to Mina.

 

"Why are you crying babe?" Chaeyoung worriedly asked as she gave her some tissue whilst rubbing her back.

 

"Is this for real?"

 

"Of course it is babe. You mentioned in passing that you miss your grandparents in Japan so that's where we're going. It's also set for our anniversary so it's liking hitting two birds with one stone"

 

Mina was speechless. She never thought that Chaeyoung would surprise her like this. Among all the things that she had done to surprise her on their monthsaries, this has got to be the top 1. Mina and her family had been wanting to visit home but her parents couldn't find the right timing as they were busy with their business.

 

Several more minutes passed before Mina recovered from her shock and happiness and Chaeyoung was just patiently waiting for her girlfriend.

 

Mina wiped her tears and fixed herself before taking Chaeyoung's hand.

 

"I love you babe. I love you soooo much. Do you know that?" Mina said then kissed her on her lips. It only lasted a few seconds because they were in public but it was enough for Chaeyoung.

 

The trip happened a few weeks after and both their parents sent them off at the airport. Mrs. Myoui gave last minute reminders and a list of items to bring back. Both of them were grateful to Chaeyoung for giving this chance to Mina to go home to Japan.

 

After a few more hugs, the couple entered the gate and off to the plane.

 

When they landed, Mina led Chaeyoung to where they needed to go. Chaeyoung was so amazed at how Mina converses in Japanese even though she doesn't understand a thing. She was just following her from the terminal, to the cab and she was fascinated with what Mina was pointing out during the trip tp their house.

 

They finally arrived and the first thing Mina did was smelled the fresh air. She definitely missed home.

 

She only told her brother that she was coming home with her girlfriend so imagine the surprise when her grand parents saw her at the door.

 

During their actual anniversary, Chaeyoung had booked them a reservation for one of the famous restaurants in town. It would usually take about half an hour before get seated if you just walk in so it was really a good thing she made the reservation a week prior.

 

Aside from the trip itself, Chaeyoung also bought Mina a necklace with their initials engraved on it. And in return, when they got home, Mina sang the song she wrote for Chaeyoung. A song about how thankful she was for choosing her and a promise of being together forever. Chaeyoung was in tears by the time Mina finished singing cause she felt every word. She too promised to be with her forever. It was a night full of passion and they made love until the morning.

 

By the time they had to go back home, the send off was more emotional as the three days were not enough to make up for the three years they weren't able to see each other in person. But Mina promised that she would do it every year with Chaeyoung.

 

When they landed back in Seoul, they were greeted by Mina's parents only as Chaeyoung's folks had to go on a business trip. After having dinner, they drive her home with her bag full of Japanese snacks.

 

Three years ago...

 

No relationship is perfect and just like any other couple, Mina and Chaeyoung have their fair shares of misunderstandings. As they didn't have any classes together, during exam week, Mina would have group study sessions with her classmates Jeongyeon, Sana and Jihyo. And during those times, Mina would be so focused on her work that she sometimes would forget to update Chaeyoung which would make the other feel bad. Chaeyoung understands but she can't help but feel that she's being ignored. She really didn't want to think much about it and hoped that after hell week, they'll make up for lost time.

 

After that week, they had to prepare for the upcoming acapella competition. Chaeyoung was super excited cause she knows she can be with Mina more. But that didn't happen as her girlfriend had other projects she had to work on - a project she shares with Jeongyeon.

 

It went on like that, Mina would be super busy and would have limited time when she's with Chaeyoung. The latter keeps saying she understands but she can't help but feel less important to Mina now.

 

The day of the competition came and everyone was pumped as they had a title to defend. Chaeyoung was proud of herself as she and her buddy Dahyun helped with the arrangement of the songs. Miss Boa even praised them when they presented it.

 

There were ten competitors and one by one a group would be eliminated. It was now down to the last four teams, they were up against Cube University, Big Hit University and RBW University. All teams with a long list of achievements from different competitions. But JYS University was hailed as champions once more.

 

Chaeyoung and Dahyun cheered louder than anyone on the team as it was their arrangement. The other members also congratulated and thanked them but for Chaeyoung, the one person she hoped to be the first to congratulate her was hugging someone else at the moment.

 

The moment she saw Mina and Jeongyeon hugging, to her it felt like a thousand knives are piercing her at the same time and before she realized it, her tears were already falling from her eyes.

 

She can't understand why she felt defeated when they were supposed to be celebrating. All the moments Mina couldn't be with her, be it because of a project or a group study, Jeongyeon would be there. So this jealousy that she's been keeping inside are now about to burst. But before she explodes, she walked out of the auditorium.

 

She's friends with Jeongyeon but not that close, and all the these emotions Chaeyoung is feeling right now are clouding her mind. She wasn't expecting anyone to follow her but someone did.

 

"Babe? Where are you going?" Mina said aa she caught up with her girlfriend.

 

Chaeyoung stopped walking but she couldn't face Mina right now, not feeling like this. So she said what she never thought she'd say.

 

"I...I'm sorry babe. I...I can't be with you right now" was all Chaeyoung said before continuing to walk but not too fast to still hear someone approaching Mina - and you already who that person is.

 

They didn't talk over the weekends despite the number of messages that Mina sent. She contemplated on whether responding back or not but she had to clear her mind first.

 

During that weekend, Chaeyoung never left her room. She didn't eat or drank much. She just laid in bed and stared at nothing. Her parents were out on another business trip and her brother had soccer camp so she was all alone which she waa already used to.

 

Monday came and for the first time, she was not looking forward to coming to school but she knows she has to talk to Mina and talk things out.

 

Maybe it was also the universe telling her to fix it as she learned that her professors are out that morning and knowing Mina's schedule, she only had one class so she sent her a message to meet up. Not another minute passed after sending the message she got a reply that Mina was already on her way.

 

Chaeyoung told her the directions to their secret lair and as she waited, she sat down on the piano chair and played random chords. Moments later, there was a knock on the door so she stood up and opened it. It revealed Mina with dark circles in her eyes, a clear sign that she had been crying and have not had a decent sleep. Chaeyoung's heart ache even more, she never wanted to see her like this.

 

Mina didn't question what this place is cause all she wants right now is to fix their relationship.

 

When they were both seated, silence filled the place once more.

 

Mina was waiting on Chaeyoung to say something. She needs to understand what was going on in her head.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for walking out last week. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for making you lose sleep" Chaeyoung started. Mina's eyes were beginning to water but she held it back. "I...I'm sorry for hurting you. I just couldn't help but feel like we're so far from each other now"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"We don't talk and we don't spend time together that much anymore. I feel like I'm no longer you're girlfriend. Why babe? Why would I feel that way?" Chaeyoung's tears fell by now.

 

Mina didn't know what to say. She never thought Chaeyoung would feel the way she's feeling now. She keeps saying she understands but maybe there really is a limit for everyone.

 

"I didn't know you felt that way babe. I thought you understood. That's what you kept saying every time I can't make it with you. We just have a lot of paper works this year and I don't really want to mess it up"

 

But Sana makes it work and still gets to spend time with Tzuyu - Chaeyoung said in her head.

 

"Believe me when I say that I understand all that, but where do I fit in? When will I be able to fit in your schedule? D'you even notice that the only time I see you is during rehearsals?"

 

Mina was speechless once again. All this time, she thought it was okay because Chaeyoung said she understands and now that she realized what she has done, she can't take it all back. She can't turn back time and repeat those moments when Chaeyoung asked for her time and made better choices. She looked at Chaeyoung who had her head down, trying her best to stop her tears from falling and it hurt Mina seeing her girlfriend break down like this. It hurt but not heavy as she thought.

 

She slowly approached Chaeyoung who was still silently crying. She sat beside her and hugged Chaeyoung who just bawled her eyes out even more.

 

For some reason, Chaeyoung feels more defeated than she already does. Something in her feels that their relationship is soon to come to an end, but she still wants to fight for it. Chaeyoung stopped crying and apologized to Mina once more for staining her uni jacket she wearing.

 

When she calmed down, she looked at Mina straight in the eyes.

 

"Tell me something... is this still worth fighting for?" She asked Mina. All she needed to hear was a straight yes, she heard the word but not the way she imagined. Mina stuttered when she answered. And that's when Chaeyoung knew, this was going to be a fight she'll end up losing.

 

Chaeyoung fixed herself and smiled even though her insides were dying. "I don't want to fight with you anymore babe. I just want to be able to spend time with you like we used to. Can you promise me we'll make it work?"

 

Mina smiled and answered, " Yes babe, I promise we'll make this work"

 

Two years ago...

 

They just celebrated their third anniversary and everything was working well for Mina and Chaeyoung. Mina was graduating now and like she promised despite the heavy school work, she makes sure to balance her time with Chaeyoung.

 

They got new people in their club since some of them graduated already and here they are now preparing for another competition. Because of the winning line up last year, Miss Boa asked Dahyun and Chaeyoung to help with this year's set list, a task they gladly accepted.

 

While Chaeyoung was working on the songs, Mina was sitting on her bed reviewing for a presentation for one of her subjects. She admires her girlfriend's dedication with her task and she knows for sure that it's going to be another masterpiece. When she realized that she had been staring for some time now, she stood up and hugged Chaeyoung from behind which surprised the latter.

 

"Holy ! Babe! Don't sneak up on me like that" Chaeyoung said while holding her chest. Mina just smiled and gave her a kiss.

 

"I was getting bored reviewing. Wanna go for a ride?"

 

"I would love too babe. Let me just save this file then we can go"

 

And Chaeyoung did just that and in just a few minutes, they're inside Mina's car now.

 

They really didn't have a destination in mind so Mina just drove until they reached an amusement park. They both got excited so as soon as they parked the car, they hurriedly bought tickets.

 

There weren't a lot of people despite it being a weekend so lining up was not a problem. After ten consecutive rides, they got hungry so they looked for something to eat. They saw this small little cafe towards the end of the park and both were enticed by the cute designs inside. Something about the place makes them feel calm  which contradicts the feel of rush and excitement outside. Pictures needed to be taken so they took a lot.

 

Chaeyoung was still engrossed with the surroundings that even when she saw Mina typing on her phone with a smile on her face, she didn't think anything about it. Their food arrived so they started eating. When they were done, they tried other booths in the park and when the sun had already did they decide to go back home. Since Mina was the one driving, she dropped home Chaeyoung first.

 

"Thank you for taking me out babe. Next time we go on a road trip like that, I'll be the one driving" Chaeyoung said.

 

"Then you better start taking those lessons babe. It'll be so awesome seeing you drive up to our house. No offense on your Vespa but we couldn't go anywhere when it's raining"

 

"I know. I'll ask dad to help me out with the lessons and the car"

 

"Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

 

"Yes ma'am. I love you so much!" Chaeyoung said then kissed Mina before stepping out of the car.

 

When she was already at the door, she turned around to wave once more but Mina wasn't looking. She was on her phone again typing away. Chaeyoung waited for a few more seconds then Mina waved back before driving away.

 

I wonder who she's texting. Chaeyoung thought.

 

When Mina got home, she sent Chaeyoung a message then went to her room and freshened up. It was a tiring day but she still have other plans. Once she was done fixing herself, she told her mom that she's meeting up with some friends then went out the door. She got to her destination and knocked on the door. Waited a couple of seconds before it opened, revealing a person she hasn't seen in a while. The person let her in and Mina made herself at home, as if she's done this so often.

 

"How was your day" the person asked.

 

"It was tiring actually. Chaeng and I went to the park up north and she was super excited"

 

"I bet. You were too when we went there" the person said as she sat down next to Mina.

 

"How about you? How's the restaurant?"

 

"I'm still getting used to it. Dad let me start as a dishwasher, can you believe it? But I worked my way up and now I'm the sous chef. The other employees are not so bad as well"

 

"I supposed that's how it should be right? I mean, for sure my dad would make me start at the bottom as well for me to experience the real deal"

 

The rest of the night was spent just catching up with some cuddling. Mina would have stayed the night but she still have an early class the next day. So they both stood at the door.

 

"When can I see you again?" The person asked holding Mina by her waist.

 

"I don't know. Whenever you're back in town I guess" Mina responded then nuzzled her head on the person's chest.

 

"Dad's been thinking of opening a branch here so when that happens, I'll see you more often" the person said again then kissed Mina's head.

 

"I don't know how long I can keep this up. I can't keep hurting Chaeng"

 

"I know and I'm sorry for making things difficult. If you say you want to stop, then we'll stop"

 

Mina hugged her tighter. "But I'm not sure if I want to stop"

 

"Then we won't. Everything will get better soon I promise"

 

With one last kiss, Mina walked out the house and drove home.

 

One year ago...

 

"Okay Chaeyoung. Once you pass this test, you'll finally have that driver's license. Once you do, I'll buy you that car you've always wanted"

 

"Thanks dad. I would definitely pass it this time. I can't wait to show up at Mina's house with that car. She would totally love it"

 

Chaeyoung then went out the door to meet with her instructor while her dad watched from inside. He watched her daughter as she drove around the testing area and not a single cone was hit. After several rounds, the instructor and Chaeyoung got out of the car and her father watched as she jumped up and down meaning she aced it. They both got back inside and she immediately hugged her dad.

 

"I got it dad! I finally aced it!" Chaeyoung said with tears in her eyes. Tears of joy that her father couldn't help but copy.

 

"Yes you did cub. Now let's get that license and buy your car"

 

After signing some documents and processing the license, Chaeyoung and her dad went out of the building and headed for the car dealer where she will be getting her very first car.

 

They reached the place and Chaeyoung ran inside and approached the car salesman whom they've been talking to. She was handed the keys while her dad made the payment and in just a few minutes, Chaeyoung was seated inside the black Dodge Challenger. Savoring the moment of having her own ride and imagining the look on Mina's face when she pulls up in front of her house.

 

Her father was so proud of her daughter. They had a deal that if she maintained her grades and stayed on the top tier, he will buy her the car she always wanted. He captured the moment without Chaeyoung's knowledge and the big smile on her daughter's face made his heart warm.

 

"Hey dad, d'you mind if I go ahead? I wanna show Mina the car" Chaeyoung said and her father just nodded and told her to take care.

 

As Chaeyoung was driving to Mina's house, she kept a smile on her face. It's been a year since she and her talked about getting her license. And now that she has it, she can't wait to take her girlfriend on a road trip soon. She was approaching the house but even from where she was, she could already see the familiar car.

 

What's she doing here? She thought.

 

She was about to park the car but when she saw the owner of the car going out of the house holding Mina's hand, her heart broke. Her car was tinted so they couldn't see who's inside so Chaeyoung just watched their interaction.

 

When she saw enough, she drove away, waited until the other car leaves, calmed herself then took a turn just enough for Mina to now see her, driving the car. Chaeyoung rolled down the window and waved at her. Mina's reaction was a mix of shock and worry and Chaeyoung knew why.

 

"Is this for real babe?" Mina asked as she approached Chaeyoung who just got out of the car.

 

"Yep! We can finally go on a road trip babe"

 

"Yes we do. We can do it on your birthday if you want" Mina said as she clung her arm around Chaeyoung.

 

When they got inside the house, she noticed the two glasses on the table. She didn't need to ask about it. They went up Mina's room and stayed there until dinner was ready.

 

Since then, Chaeyoung and Mina would alternate who's picking up who to school and they did go on several trips but something was always constant - seeing Mina on her phone, smiling.

 

The end of the school year is approaching, meaning Mina would be graduating and will start working for their company. Chaeyoung still had two years left and she's afraid that once she graduates, things will change no matter how much Mina promises it won't. Because of that, Chaeyoung talked to her cousin Wendy about what she can do.

 

Luckily, her cousin was back home once again but this time with her wife Irene who was carrying their first child. Chaeyoung wouldn't admit it but she envies their relationship. Just like how her relationship with Mina started, Wendy was able to woo Irene's heart with her songs. She wishes that Mina and her could be like that. That even though there was a time when Irene cheated on Wendy with their common friend Seulgi, her cousin fought hard to win Irene back and she did. For Chaeyoung, she's willing to do everything for Mina and if push comes to shove, she will fight for her no matter what. But something in her, a small voice telling her that it would be a losing fight. That loving Mina was a losing game. She's been ignoring that voice because she loves Mina. She loves her so much that the mere thought of breaking up drives her crazy.

 

While Irene was busy talking with her folks in the kitchen, Chaeyoung and Wendy went out the garden. They got up the tree house they built with their dads and settled down with some cans of beer.

 

"So what's going on?" Wendy started and Chaeyoung broke down right away. It hurt Wendy to see her cousin like this. But all she can do was comfort her the best way she could. When Chaeyoung seemed to have calmed down, Wendy handed her some tissue.

 

After she fixed herself, she told her cousin everything she had been noticing for the past years, even going back to before she and Mina got together. The signs were all there but she chose to ignore it and followed her heart instead. Wendy knew the other person, she was close to Jihyo and a member of the music club. However the only time she saw her interact with Mina was during the time she drover her cousin to uni a few years ago. So everything Chaeyoung just told her are all new because at that time Wendy was still in school, the girl was with another person.

 

"I...I don't know what to do. I want to keep fighting but for how long should I do that?" Chaeyoung added.

 

Wendy finished her beer and said. "Talk to Mina about it Chaeng. You already have the pieces so go and complete the puzzle. Keeping it inside is not healthy. You won't admit it but there would come a time where you will explode and it'll hurt even more. So the first thing you need to do is clear it up with her. If all the things you noticed really means that Mina and this person is having an affair, be the better person and end everything"

 

"But I love her"

 

"Yes I know that. But sometimes love isn't enough"

 

Chaeyoung's eyes started to water once more but she tried to stop it. "I was even planning on proposing to her you know. I've been looking at this ring online and have been saving up to buy it"

 

"Let's say you managed to buy the ring, you propose but she says no? What are you going to do then?"

 

Chaeyoung didn't answer.

 

"I'm not trying to be harsh or anything but the way I see it, the sooner you know the truth, the better you will feel. So again, talk to her and find out the truth. Irene and I will be staying here until the baby arrives so you know where to find me, okay?"

 

Chaeyoung nodded then finished her beer. They went back inside the house later on where the family enjoyed the rest of the night.

 

Months later, Mina just graduated and they were having a party at their house. As someone who doesn't really enjoying drinking, Mina was being a good host of entertaining her guests. Chaeyoung and the other members were all in the backyard so after Mina made rounds on the other guests she joined them and sat beside Chaeyoung.

 

"The club's getting smaller and smaller. I hope we get more people next year" Dahyun said and everyone agreed.

 

"I agree. We need to work harder to recruit new folks if we want to qualify for sectionals" Tzuyu added.

 

They continued on talking about their plans for next year, getting suggestions from their newly graduated peers. Mina was just listening to them as Chaeyoung, Dahyun and Tzuyu get serious with the conversation. She felt her phone vibrate so she checked it out. Moments later, she told Chaeyoung that she'll just go inside to check on the other guests and left.

 

Chaeyoung was aware of how long Mina was gone even while she was in the middle of a conversation so she thought of checking up on her girlfriend.

 

When she got inside, the other guests were still jamming along the music. Some were already passed out on the floor. She looked around but Mina was nowhere to be found. She then went up the stairs to see if she was in her room. As she approach, she could hear voices inside. Despite the music playing, she could identify Mina's voice who seem to be arguing with someone. She contemplated whether to see what's going on but when a name was dropped, she froze.

 

"What the hell are you doing here Jeong? I thought we'd meet up tomorrow?" Mina said.

 

"Hun, I was also a member of the club remember? Nayeon and Jihyo's already here so what's wrong?

 

Jeong? Hun? - Chaeyoung questioned in her mind.

 

"She's already suspicions of us even though she doesn't say anything. Please just leave. I'll see you tomorrow"

 

"How long do you want to keep on hiding? Until she proposes and you get married? Why can't you just choose me hun?"

 

"Just.. just give more time then I'm all yours hun"

 

When Chaeyoung heard that, she made her way down the stairs and tried her hardest not to cry. She went back to the group and pretended she didn't hear anything. Minutes later, Mina and Jeongyeon went out the backyard and the new comer was welcomed with open arms.

 

The party ended and with just a few members left, Chaeyoung contemplated if she should act on her plan. She called Mina and asked if they can go for a quick ride to the diner because she's craving for a milkshake. Mina made sure first that it was okay for the members to be left behind and when they said yes, she followed Chaeyoung to her car.

 

When they got inside, Chaeyoung was quiet, Mina was also the same. They passed by the diner and Mina now got curious as to where they were going. She didn't question Chaeyoung so she just let her drive.

 

Half an hour later, they arrived at an overlooking spot. Chaeyoung stopped the engine and went out the door, Mina followed.

 

The air was refreshing and they both savored it. But when Chaeyoung looked at Mina, what she saw was heartbreaking. Her eyes were red from tears she

tried to stop. Mina didn't say anything yet. She waited for Chaeyoung to open up.

 

"I'm gonna make it easier for you Mina. Let's just end this"

 

"What?"

 

Chaeyoung chuckled mentally. "I already know. I think I've always known. I just choose not to believe it"

 

Hearing those words from Chaeyoung cause Mina's tears to fall.

 

"I...I'm really sorry Chaeng"

 

Chaeyoung remembered her cousin's advice, to be the better person. And even though doing that hurts so bad right now, if she let it prolong, it's just going to get worse.

 

"So now that is out, can you be honest with me? Was I the second choice? Did you just say yes to me to make her jealous? And when she did admit her feelings, you both made it 'official'?"

 

Mina didn't say anything but slowly nodded. The knives were back and it's killing Chaeyoung.

 

"Four years Mina! Four ing years! And you made me believe you love me! How...how could you do this to me?"

 

"I'm really sorry Chaeng. Believe me, I love you -"

 

"Yes you love me but you're not in love with me. Cause I am not her"

 

No one spoke for the next few minutes and only the sound of crying was heard. Chaeyoung just wanted to jump off the cliff and be done with everything but she can't do that. She's not selfish like that. So she fixed herself and faced Mina again.

 

She took a deep breathe then said, "Thank you for still giving me the chance to love you Mina. Thank you for giving me those moments we had together. After tonight, you're free to be with her and I won't interfere anymore. I...am letting you go"

 

Mina felt so heavy. She didn't mean to break Chaeyoung's heart but Jeongyeon did come first. No amount of apologies would make up to what she did to her.

 

Chaeyoung hugged her and kissed her one last time. It lasted for a few seconds then she finally let go.

 

"I'll take you back home now Mina. Our friends must be worried"

 

With that, they got back inside the car, passed by the diner and really brought milk shakes for everyone before going back to Mina's house. When they got back, their friends were already sleeping. Mina then fixed some of the trash while Chaeyoung went out the backyard to savor her last moments staying in this house she once called her second home. She opened a bottle of beer and drained its content then opened another one and then some until she felt fully numb. She knows the effect would just be temporary but it was enough for her to make it that night.

 

Their friends found out what happened a week after they broke up and some of them already knew about what was going on but chose not to speak out. They felt sorry for Chaeyoung but they can't do anything now.

 

In the next few months, the new school year started. Chaeyoung focused on her studies and the club as they are now the senior members along with Dahyun, Tzuyu, Rosè and Lisa. Their junior members Yeji, Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryoung and Yuna facilitated the auditions and after several failed auditionees, they were still able to get enough people to complete the list.

 

They were able to win Nationals despite just a few months of preparation. Chaeyoung took the arrangement task alone and it was another masterpiece. She chose to distract herself by doing extra work in her studies but no matter how busy she gets, there were still moments she just breaks down and cry.

 

She never love anyone else aside from Mina and even when she graduated and moved away, every time she passes by all the roads they took, she can still imagine her with her. She drove through the suburbs on her way home and passed by Mina's house. She saw the familiar car and knowing they were together inside still hurt. She heard about their engagement and she cannot force herself to be happy about it.

 

In time maybe but not now.

 

 

 

 

Songs Used:

At My Worst - Pink Sweats
There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back - Shawn Mendez