A/N: I may have a different interpretation of the song but I just thought of posting this instead of the continuation of the WenRene story. It will still be posted - soon. Hope you guys enjoy this. Leave your thoughts. Thanks.

https://youtu.be/YNTpAsGrgPU

Jennie Kim had been my friend since forever. Like we've been together since we were in diapers. Our parents were close friends so it was only natural for us to be close friends, nope, best friends as well. I was older by a year but most of the time she acts as if she's older. I admit I am a bit childish sometimes and Jennie always scolds me but then we'd laugh about whatever silly thing I did afterwards. And we've stuck together like glue until I made that one mistake that ruined everything.

You see, growing up, I started having feelings for my best friend. I never told her nor did I gave any hint about those feelings cause I know she would never see me more than her best friend. She's straight and well, I am not. She knew I was into girls the moment this new girl from Australia came to our school and I couldn't help but be mesmerized by her beauty and that oh so y as hell accent. We were in middle school then and that was the first time I opened up being into girls and she accepted me. Joking aside that as long as it wasn't her who I fall in love with. I laugh with her everytime she says that and wave it off saying I would never cause she's a . She knows I only meant that as a joke but yet she still agrees. Me having a crush on Rosè was just for me to hide the fact that she was the one I was in love with. Good thing Rosè was okay to play along with the act, she's a really good friend. And I guess she's also doing the same with our other friend Lisa who she's been having feelings with. Kinda like a set up as well to see if Lisa or Jennie would get jealous.

High School came and that's when Jennie started seeing this guy Kai. He was the same year as I and as much as it killed me seeing them all lovey dovey, I could only show myself as the supportive best friend. He's a nice guy and he takes care of her, but I know I can do better. If only I was given the chance. But who am I kidding, that'll never happen. It doesn't help as well that her parents really approve of their relationship and for every family gathering, he was also with us. Rosè and I stopped our act when it was Lisa who confessed first and who am I to stop them from being with each other. They were perfect for each other and so I was left alone. Hoping and wishing everyday that a miracle would happen that you notice me more than just your best friend. It but I manage. The first time you and Kai had a fight, I was the first person you ran too. I remember I was sick at that time, and I was surprised to see you sleeping beside me. Your face tear stained, bags under your eyes but still damn beautiful. I just hugged you and you held on to me tighter.

In your broken state, you asked me why must love hurt so much. And I'm not sure what I should tell you, because seeing you like that hurts me as well. So I just assured you that things will get better. And I guess it did, for a while at least, until whatever issues were in your relationship could no longer be fixed.

When we got to college, you went from one relationship to another. I kept telling you that just because your partner couldn't fetch that one time or he forget to text you when they got home or greeted you late on your monthsary doesn't mean you should break up with them right away. I guess what happened with you and Kai really took a toll on you that with just one mistake, you no longer wanted to deal with it. I watch it all start as a beautiful relationship to nothing. And people now see you as the boss and you really lived up to it.

It was kind of a routine now, that you would introduce whoever you're dating to me. But the next person you introduced was someone I never expected. A girl by the name of Irene. You told me you've never felt anything like that before and you seem really excited for us to meet, since you know I was into 'girls'. If only you knew it was only you I was in love with. 

Your relationship blossomed even until she graduated and you were set on living together after you graduate. Irene treated you well, so well that I started questioning what the have I been doing the past years. Your parents even approved of this new relationship so why was I thinking of ways to sabotage your happiness? Oh right, because back then it didn't hurt so much seeing you with guys but now that another girl has taken a place in your heart, a girl that wasn't me, hurts even more. I could do better. We could be so much better together.

I've loved you for so long I can't remember how many times I cried myself to sleep, still hoping, still wishing that you see me more than your friend. For every heartbreak you go through, it felt that I bore the same scars as well.

When you finally graduated from college a year after I did, I helped you moved in to Irene's apartment. She was doing so well in her profession that you wouldn't need to worry about starving at all. I saw the love in your eyes as you officially start your life with her. And I guess I could never change the way you see me.

Years passed and we continued to be best friends, and you continued your relationship with Irene. Continued it to the point of thinking about forever. You showed me the ring she gave you when she proposed on your birthday and I could only show you a half hearted smile. You never knew how much it hurt seeing you so happy with someone who wasn't me but I love you so much that I'd take it, accept that someone can do the things I want to do. Because I was never given that chance.

I guess it was also my fault that I never found the courage to let you know. My fault that I am hurting, have been hurting, and will probably be hurting even more but like what I always tell you, things will be better.

A few days before the wedding, we went out for your bachelorette party. Irene asked me to take care of you that night and even without her asking me, I would be doing that as well. We both drank a little too much that I was surprised I was even able to drive us home safely. I helped you inside my apartment where we planned to do one more sleepover and as we settle down on my bed, I kissed you and you just froze there like a statue.

All the alcohol we drank that night was washed away when I realized what I've done. My cheeks stung when you slapped me so hard I only heard some ringing in my ear for a few minutes.

"What the was that Soo?" you asked, you were breathing so heavily and was shaking so bad. I wanted to hug you but you pulled away.

So I confessed. Confessed what I really feel and you just stood there as I finished talking. Tears dripping on our faces as I feel the end of more than a decade of friendship we shared.

You told me you love me but just not the same way I love you and that night, was the last night we spoke to each other. The wedding happened a few days later, and I still attended but you never saw me. I hid myself so well just like how I hid all my feelings for you until that night.

We saw each other again when you heard about my sickness. You visited me at the hospital. You told me you were sorry and that you regret what happened between us but I told you it was okay because I understand. I lost my chance to be her lover but I would still be her friend or best friend if she allows me to and you said you would. When you went home that night, we both had smiles on our faces.

But we never really did get that second chance on our friendship because that day you visited me was my last day as well. I guess I just kept fighting until I can see you again one more time before I go. And I did, and even though I wish you never broke my heart,  I would never change the way we left.