The sun was harsh during the last week of August, as it was blaring down onto the football field and Youngjae only wanted to hide from it in the shadows of the trees. But their teacher would not let go of them until the bell rang, and Youngjae could only look towards the hill behind their school building.

Wondering what was hiding in there for so many hushed whispers to escape.

It was late in the afternoon, and Youngjae could hear his classmates yelling as they were passing by, running after each other more so than the football they were supposed to go after.

Youngjae was sitting by the sidelines, staring into the air in the hopes of time passing faster that way.

Since that first day of school, Youngjae had been in a daze. A daze he wished to never escape from. It had felt so unreal, to actually talk to Daehyun. Like it was nothing.

Like it didn't chase Youngjae's heart down a straight line.

He had only seen Daehyun during his breaks in the afternoon afterward, and the small smile Youngjae always got from him in passing was enough for him to wait until the next day, for it to happen again. And again.

But there was a pang of crawling guilt making itself aware somewhere in the depths of his guts. Because it wasn't enough anymore. Youngjae wanted it to be enough.

Youngjae wanted to be fine exactly where they were.

But the ringing of Daehyun's voice in the summer air was stuck in Youngjae's mind. Like melting candy in between in his fingertips.

So sweet, and he couldn't get rid of it.

Youngjae didn't want to feel everything that was meant to break his heart in the end.

Nibbling on his bottom lip, Youngjae pulled himself out of his daydream. Eyes searching for anything that would help him distract his thoughts for a while.

But there were only shoes harshly meeting the ground, loud laughter, and the unbearable heat.

Youngjae's eyes traveled upward from the endless soccer shoes and sneakers obscuring his every thought. And his gaze landed on Junhong.

Of course, it was him. Junhong always knew what to do.

Junhong was his best option to try and get rid of the sugar sticking to his fingers.

And as if Junhong knew, he turned around and found Youngjae's eyes, a big smile on his face before he threw a questioning look at Youngjae.

And for one moment, Youngjae thought that Junhong looked pretty with the sun shining down on him, with his smile brighter and warmer than any summer day.

Yet it was all wishful thinking, for someone to come and pull Youngjae out of this slump. It's been too long, and Youngjae didn't know how to get out.

On their way to the study rooms up on the fourth floor, Youngjae told Junhong about that strange feeling in his fingertips. And how he wished it would just go away.

Junhong's brows furrowed, and for a second his face was an open book, a thousand questions marring the gentle smile that had been on his face.

"But I thought you wanted to get closer?"

"I know I said that but it won't happen," Youngjae said, already having made up his mind. "It just doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?" Junhong had raised his voice, and Youngjae grabbed him by the arm to drag him to the windows that were lining the hallway much as they did on the floor they had classes on.

"You know, just everything," Youngjae said with his voice toned down, well aware that their seniors had classes somewhere around here. "I just know it won't happen."

"Why? Does he have a girlfriend or something?" Junhong asked, stepping closer to Youngjae whilst leaning onto the windowsill. He knew Youngjae wanted to keep this between them, and it wasn't as if they were the only ones on their way to the study rooms or library down the hall.

"No, I don't know. Look, just-" Youngjae's voice got stuck in his throat, and a shaky whimper came out instead of words confirming that he was sure this was the right thing to do.

"Hey," Junhong said softly, slinging an arm around Youngjae's shoulder, knowing this conversation wouldn't go anywhere right now. "Let's talk about it later, okay?"

Youngjae only hummed, and Junhong started talking about some video game as they walked down the hallway.

Youngjae didn't get anything from the vending machine the next afternoon.

Or the rest of the week.

He was sure that not seeing Daehyun would be the first step. That this was the start of finally forgetting about his unrequited love.

Junhong had been telling him that it was a dumb idea, that if Youngjae wouldn't try, he'd be thinking about giving up his first love for the rest of his life. It was a little overly dramatic, Youngjae thought.

But as the days passed by, Junhong's words started to make sense. More and more so.

The stickiness on his fingertips was melting, running down, over his knuckles, and into the palms of his hands.

Youngjae couldn't stop thinking about running into Daehyun by accident, about whether or not he would be by the staircase, about how he would leave the running tracks after practice, sweat running down his back, and a big smile on his face.

Of course, it couldn't have been this easy. Out of sight out of mind didn't really apply when it came to your first heartbreak, right.

So Youngjae found himself lingering around the entrance to their school's open sports area, contradictory to what he had wanted to do but he disguised his actions under the pretext of waiting for Yongguk after his study room sessions with Junhong.

On the first day, Daehyun had already left. Youngjae didn't know where to and didn't dare to ask Yongguk, embarrassed that he was even hoping to see Daehyun after cowardly avoiding him for a week.

And Youngjae knew Daehyun probably hadn't even noticed. There was truly no significance to Youngjae disappearing out of Daehyun's life, with him barely having had a place in it at all.

One day passed after the other, and it had been ten days since Youngjae had last seen Daehyun. For some strange reason Youngjae couldn't get behind, it all felt like a fever dream.

Like something bad that would eventually pass, that you would forget it even happened once it was over. And it hurt. Realizing that in a couple of months this would be his every day. That Youngjae would have to forget about his feelings someday.

Youngjae was waiting for Yongguk in the corridor that led to the changing rooms. It was eerily quiet, each step Youngjae took rang in his ears like forgotten responsibilities do, haunting him in their afterglow.

The janitor had just passed by, only opening the windows after classes had ended that day, and the first week of September was finally announcing autumn.

The wind was chilly, and Youngjae was glad that he had taken his uniform's sweater with him that day, the long sleeves pooling over his fingertips.

Whenever the fabric brushed his fingers, Youngjae would think back to April. To when Daehyun first looked at him, with those warm eyes, timid words leaving his lips so out of character.

It nearly drove Youngjae crazy, how Daehyun could occupy his mind at any second. Fleeting pictures of memories would pass by and Youngjae was easy to get lost in them.

So lost in thought, Youngjae did not notice the boy stepping out of the changing room, almost leaving for the stairway at the opposite side of the hallway if he hadn't spotted his underclassman leaning onto the wall with his head in the clouds.

The squeaking of rubber soles meeting the clean floors of the hallway was what pulled Youngjae out of his little daydream. It was almost absurd, how Youngjae had been waiting for Yongguk with the sole purpose of maybe running into Daehyun.

Yet the moment Youngjae locked eyes with Daehyun, who was now standing by his side, Youngjae would have believed it if someone told him that the Daehyun right in front of him was an illusion.

Youngjae's fingertips ached, wanting to reach forward to touch the bare skin on Daehyun's, the illusion's, arm. Only to find out how warm his skin was, how soft and firm his muscles and skin would be to touch.

But Daehyun's voice rang in the air before Youngjae could do anything. "Hi."

A single word from Daehyun was all it took for Youngjae to completely overthrow the idea of trying to avoid Daehyun. Gentle smiles and warm eyes and Youngjae had to search for his words like a madman, his mind ringing like it hasn't for the past weeks.

"Hi."

The single syllable leaving Youngjae's lips was the only thing he had come up with, leaving the word to burn down in the air until silence engulfed the two of them.

A strange atmosphere drowned the hallway and Youngjae wasn't sure if he was supposed to say something or not. The words probably wouldn't even leave his lips if Youngjae had anything to say, his guts were too twisted, and his throat was closing in.

Youngjae had hoped that the time he had spent to purposely avoid Daehyun would have made him immune to the other boy, in some way or another. But nothing had changed, just the sight of Daehyun was all it took to leave Youngjae completely breathless.

The silence was broken by Daehyun's voice, pulling on Youngjae's heartstrings. "You waiting for Yongguk?"

Youngjae nodded, a soft 'yes' leaving his lips before he pulled himself together to properly reply to the older student. "I am."

There was no telling how close they were, all Youngjae could see were blurred lines but he knew Daehyun was only thinking of him as someone a year below. Someone he didn't know but had been introduced to.

Daehyun must be thinking that he had to be kind to Youngjae because Yongguk had introduced them. That was how he treated everyone, giving away gentle words and smiles. Youngjae just happened to get caught up in them.

Youngjae was just one of many who looked at Daehyun with starry eyes.

Youngjae wasn't stupid or naive, he saw the many girls going up to Daehyun with small gifts, the way they laughed sweetly at him, and how they shily tucked their hair behind their ears.

Daehyun must have received dozens of confessions the past two years, and Youngjae couldn't know if he ever accepted one of them.

If Daehyun had a girlfriend, Youngjae had been lucky that he had never seen them together. The only thing Youngjae could do was to keep his little one-sided crush to himself until Daehyun would graduate, looking at him from a distance.

"Uh," Daehyun cleared his throat, eyes unsure as they gazed from the windows behind Youngjae to the boy himself, and back. "So, you quit soccer?"

"Yeah," Youngjae said, not thinking as the words quickly left his lips. It didn't take too long for his mind to start spinning, realizing the fact that Daehyun knew he had been on the soccer team.

And that was during Youngjae's first year, the year Daehyun shouldn't have been aware of him at all, the year Daehyun had never even looked at Youngjae.

But Daehyun probably didn't really care, didn't pay attention to Youngjae until Yongguk had introduced them to each other. It was also most likely Yongguk who had told Daehyun that Youngjae had been on the soccer team.

The thought alone calmed Youngjae down, and with an intake of air, Youngjae felt able to look Daehyun in the eye again.

A smile tugged at Youngjae's lips as he looked up. Almost as if strings attached to them were pulling at the corners, like a lifeless puppet being strung along to perform a play.

It strangely didn't hurt as much this time.

And Youngjae could have sworn that he was almost grateful when Daehyun left with a short goodbye.

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