They never talked that year.

The silent glances and wishful thinking were enough for Youngjae, he didn't need anything else. At least he told himself that.

As the year passed, his heart grew heavier and heavier. Dreaming about Daehyun was not enough anymore, just like the stupid little scenarios he made up in his head whenever he would head to the station.

Scenes that would happen in romantic comedies, a rainy day as people were rushing into the station or home but the protagonist had forgotten their umbrella. And of course, a handsome, conventionally beautiful, and oh so kind man would suddenly appear with an umbrella in his hand.

It was embarrassing, really.

Youngjae knew that his imagination was running on absolutely nothing, but he couldn't really do anything to stop it.

Seeing Daehyun nearly every day at school had blurred Youngjae's image of their relationship. He knew that Daehyun didn't know him and that he had probably never paid attention to him in any way.

It was terribly embarrassing, to be honest.

At times Youngjae felt like he was in a way stalking the older student, although he never intentionally followed Daehyun anywhere.

The only place Youngjae went to intentionally see Daehyun was the small open area by the staircase. The first time had been purely coincidental, and Youngjae did have a different reason to go there after all.

After a few weeks had passed at the beginning of Youngjae's first year, Junhong had found joy in asking Youngjae to bring him something to drink too whenever Youngjae went to the vending machines for a little too long to only come back with a bottle of vitamin water. So Youngjae did.

Daehyun just happened to be there. Again, and again.

And the year ended just like that. Nothing had happened.

The first week of Youngjae's second year of high school was different already. Besides their classes having changed, and the fear of graduating and final exams nearing closer and closer.

Youngjae's mother and he had moved during the winter, not too far away that Youngjae had to change schools, but Youngjae had to take a different metro line home.

One that was further away from school which leads to the center of the city if Youngjae wouldn't get off at his station. It was more crowded in the morning because of that, and Youngjae had to leave his home earlier which was already a terrible start to his second year.

There was something else, someone else.

One thing Youngjae couldn't have missed was how a certain tall senior of his would take the same line every evening after self-study. Youngjae remembered Yongguk, of course, he remembered him, the way he carried himself on that day, and how his deep voice filled the air.

At first, Youngjae had thought that Yongguk was a friend of Daehyun's, seeing how they usually practiced together.

It took months for Youngjae to figure out that Daehyun was like that to many people, so familiar and kind as if he'd known the other for years.

Yongguk and Daehyun turned out to be nothing more than teammates, and as Youngjae's first semester of his second year passed he understood why.

Youngjae couldn't remember when he and Yongguk first started talking.

It might have been because there weren't many people from their school who took the same metro line.

They left for home around the same time the first Friday of the school year, and it might have been the cold wind seeping right through Youngjae's school uniform, but Yongguk had stricken up a conversation so easily that Youngjae wondered if they had talked before.

It didn't come as a surprise that Yongguk had turned out to be similar to Daehyun in many aspects, but he was quieter, more mature, and sometimes he seemed to be much older than Youngjae. Youngjae couldn't explain Yongguk even if he tried.

And despite their friendship having come naturally, Youngjae couldn't help but feel a little guilty.

He knew he wasn't using Yongguk, Youngjae genuinely enjoyed his company, but every so often Youngjae found himself spacing out as he was standing by Yongguk's desk supposedly looking at an art magazine the older of the two had bought recently.

With Yongguk being in his third year now, his class was filled with some students he knew and some entirely new faces, but it was more so Youngjae who had noticed.

Daehyun was in his class. And with every accumulating visit Youngjae made to Yongguk's classroom in between breaks, he found out something new about Daehyun.

How he was nearly always surrounded by people, a big smile on his face, and more often than not a small snack in between his fingers.

Daehyun was generous, well-liked by everyone, and so kind that Youngjae sometimes couldn't help but keep his hopes up. That maybe Daehyun would not hate him if he found out how Youngjae felt about him.

But those desperate, hopeful wishes never lingered too long on Youngjae's mind. The reality was harsh, and Youngjae had already accepted his defeat. High school would pass by, slowly, and once Daehyun had graduated, Youngjae's ridiculous crush would come to an end. Youngjae knew that Daehyun and he were nothing but strangers at that point.

For a year Youngjae hadn't dared to talk to Daehyun.

Of course, he had often, maybe too many times, imagined how their first conversation would go.

Youngjae had dreamed of coincidental romantic encounters in their school's hallway. The afternoon sun glowing through the large windows, filtering into the corridor, and leaving the two of them doused in golden light as they looked at each other in awe.

First loves were so cruel sometimes.

Their first conversation wasn't like anything out of a romantic novel. It was definitely more disappointing than romantic if Youngjae looked back at it.

It was around the same time of the year as when Youngjae first saw Daehyun, a year before.

It was raining after a couple of warm days had gone by and Youngjae had mistakenly forgotten to bring his uniform sweater with him that day.

He felt a little hesitant to ask Yongguk if he had brought his own sweater, after seeing that most of the boys weren't wearing theirs, and even Junhong hadn't taken his to school that day.

Youngjae had often been called out for his weak body, his small frame, and his quiet demeanor. Never in a hateful manner, but it had happened so many times that Youngjae had started to grow conscious of every little aspect of his behavior which people could possibly notice.

So, when he was on his way to Yongguk's classroom, his mind was filled with never-ending thoughts and worries.

Not because Youngjae thought Yongguk would think of him as strange, it was his classmates, people Youngjae didn't know, that he was afraid of.

There was nothing to be scared of, Youngjae knew that, but he was thankful that Yongguk had been outside in front of his classroom with his phone in his hand.

Yongguk just smiled at him and quickly went to get his sweater, leaving Youngjae out in the hallway with a lighter heart and less shaky hands.

Youngjae felt at ease for a few moments, just until Yongguk came out from his classroom with his beige sweater hanging over his arm and his lips etched into a soft smile.

Youngjae remembered vividly how Yongguk's words then were cut short, as footsteps echoed through their school's hallway.

"Yongguk," Daehyun's voice pierced the air surrounding Youngjae as if thousands of icicles bore themselves right through his heart, "I was with Changkyun just now and he wanted to know if we-"

Daehyun's words stopped leaving his lips abruptly as he halted in front of them, his eyes dropping to the sweater which Yongguk and Youngjae were still both holding onto.

"Oh, sorry, I just," Daehyun looked up and Youngjae was sure that that was the first time they had properly looked at each other, eyes locked for what seemed to be a moment too long, "Changkyun was in a hurry and wanted me to ask about practice later."

Daehyun finished after his eyes had flickered down to Yongguk's sweater which was by then in Youngjae's arms.

"I think we'll wait and see how the weather's gonna be in the afternoon," Yongguk said, looking at Daehyun, apparently having noticed how he wasn't able to keep his gaze from flickering downwards to where Youngjae was fiddling with his sweater. "I don't think I'll cancel practice over this. The track and field meet at Kyunggi High School is in only three weeks, we need the time."

"Right, I'll tell Changkyun."

Daehyun was about to turn around before Yongguk's voice stopped him.

"Daehyun, this is my friend, Youngjae," Yongguk said with a gentle smile on his lips, pulling Youngjae closer by his arm, "He's a year below us."

Daehyun seemed hesitant to look Youngjae straight in the eyes, a nervous smile tugging onto the corners of his mouth before he turned his body to Youngjae.

"Hi, I'm Daehyun," Daehyun said, glancing down to where Yongguk had a hold on Youngjae's upper arm.

He seemed different, Youngjae thought.

Daehyun had carried his words with pride whenever Youngjae had heard him talk, but his voice was quieter, softer than Youngjae had heard it ever before. His body language was as if he was withholding something, timid if Youngjae had to describe it.

Youngjae quickly shook off his hesitancy, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke. "I'm Youngjae, nice to meet you."

A smile found itself on Daehyun's face, growing wider and Daehyun opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it in the same moment. "I'll see you around, Youngjae."

Daehyun left with those words and a short wave of his hand that was directed towards Yongguk.

And within a matter of a few seconds, Youngjae could feel his heart starting to beat at such a rapid pace, he wondered if it had stopped for when Daehyun was looking at him.

Those brown eyes, so bright and full of hope that were not dull as everyone else's, Youngjae had found himself unable to tear his own gaze from them.

It was difficult to deny his own feelings after that, knowing that Daehyun was aware of his existence and even knew his name. The beating of Youngjae's heart had let him know for over a year but Youngjae had been afraid to recognize it until that moment.

Until Daehyun had looked at him, really looked at him.

Youngjae didn't know if his own imagination was running too far ahead of himself, but the way Daehyun had looked at him as if the world had stopped for a moment had churned something inside of him.

It was a surprise to Youngjae that Daehyun kept greeting him whenever they saw each other on the school grounds during the slowly ending semester.

Whether it was a quick wave of his hand in the hallway or a smile which was directed towards Youngjae whenever he would find his way to the vending machines by the staircase.

And it felt so good, so good that the pain inside of Youngjae's heart was growing to be unbearably tormenting.

Their relationship hadn't changed significantly, not in any way. They didn't talk to each other, the most Youngjae would hear of Daehyun's voice would be a short greeting or his beautiful, boisterous laugh if he were standing by his friends.

And it hurt.

To know that Daehyun wasn't affected by him at all, at least not in the way Youngjae was.

And with summer slowly approaching, Youngjae's feelings turned into a heavy, demanding burden.

Right until the point where he wasn't able to hold back the tears he'd kept inside for so long.

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