Joohyun's POV

I've been hospitalized for 3 days now. Both of my arms are now full of bruises because of all the test they ran to me. 

I hate this.

Since I was 10, I kept on going back and forth to hospitals because of this stupid cancer. Half of my life is me being imprisoned inside this 4-cornered white room with various tubes connected to my body.

The doctor said that I still have a chance to survive if it will comeback, but I know deep inside me that I can't fight anymore.

That's why when I was declared cancer free 2 years ago, I lived my life to the fullest preparing myself when will I die.

I already gave up on my life a long time ago. I was already prepared for this to happen. I am prepared to leave this world for good and end all my sufferings, but Seulgi came. 

Seulgi became my strength, even though I already know that my end is near, I still want to fight because I want to see my future with her.

Later afternoon, I will be discharged. According to my doctor I will start my chemotheraphy session next week. 

"Hyun, what do want to eat?" Seulgi asked me. She said that she will go out for a while to grab some food for us.

Hospital food . 

"Anything that you'll buy Seul. I'll gladly eat it."

"Okay bunny. I'll be quick. Just stay here okay?" I nodded and Seulgi gave me a quick kiss on my forehead.

When she is already out from my sight, I grabbed my blanky and the pole where my IV is hanging off (I forgot what it is called) and went up to the hospital's rooftop.

No one is here.

I stood near the edge and leaned my body towards it. I closed my eyes and felt the breeze touching my face. I wrapped myself with my blanket because it's getting a little bit cold.

There, I cried. I released all of my emotions. I don't want Seulgi to see me in this state. 

I hate this. I hate myself for being this sick. I hate myself because I know that someday I'll be the reason of Seulgi's tears and sorrow.

I don't want my Kang Seulgi to be sad. I don't want to leave her alone.

Hours had already passed. I was in my deep thoughts and didn't notice the time had already passed. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and saw 50 messages and 100 missed calls from Seulgi.

Oh god I should get ready for Seulgi's homily once I'll be back in my room. I stood up and went back inside. I was about to step down from the stairs when Seulgi suddenly appeared infront of me. 

She's all sweaty and breathing hard.

"Joohyun!" 

Seulgi immediately trapped me between her arms and hugged me tight.

"Hey bububear I can't breathe" I said and tapped her back. Seulgi freed me from her hug and cupped my face. 

"Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere? Do you feel a little bit uncomfortable?" Seulgi continuously asked not even giving me a chance to answer her first question. She even checked me head to toe to see if I am really fine.

I calmed Seulgi down and wiped her sweat running down from her forehead. I carressed her right cheek and looked into her eyes. 

She's really worried. I can see some tears pooling in her eyes.

"Hey, hey calm down okay? I'm fine. I was kust hanging out here at the rooftop not noticing the time had already passed." 

"Are you sure? You didn't think of something bad?" She asked. Seulgi is now crying. I can't help but smile because I can feel that Seulgi really loves me. That she really care for me.

"Don't say that. Why would I do that? You're my strength Seul and I will not dare to do that. Remember what I said last night? That I'll fight so that I can be with you until we'll grow old."

I wiped Seulgi's tears and pulled her into a hug. She kissed my head which made me smile. Her kisses really gives me comfort.

"Shall we go back? I'm a little bit hungry." I said and held Seulgi's hand.

She wiped her tears like a small child and flashed her biggest smile. "Let's go? I bought you some yummy food. I'm sure you'll enjoy it so much."

"Thank you bububear. I really appreciate it."

"I love you so much Hyun."

"Same here Kang Seulgi."

Up until now