It was a peaceful and quiet evening. But it was far from what Yoochun feels. He deeply sighed as he stares at the darkness of the sea. He still can't do anything to assuage his feelings.
 
He can greatly see the light from the lamp on the boat. Besides that, there's no more light. Even the stars in the night sky where nowhere to be seen. It looks like it's giving a message to his soul, about what's bothering him for quite some time now.
 
Memories keep flashing back, tormenting him about what happened 3 years ago wich made him close to be insane.
 
A bitter laugh escape from his lips. Yes he did. He was insane. There was a time when he almost didn't know whether he is in his right state of mind or he really lose his sanity, especially when he was a pirate and a criminal. He don't know if there was still a place for forgiveness to a persm like him, but funny as it seems, he's still alive and kicking.
 
"You're not crazy. You know why?"
 
Yoochun closed his eyes, as he was hurt when he heard Joongki's voice in his mind, speaking as if he was his conscience. Joongki was dead a long time ago but the advices he gave to him never fades.
 
"Life isn't easy. But it doesn't mean that you're just gonna give up."
 
But how can he fight for his life, when his loved ones are in danger?
 
If he didn't become insane by remembering those painful memories that unwarningly filled up his thoughts that night while gazing at the fishery owned by his kind mother-in-law, well, he was about to when he finally understood what kind of danger he brought to Junsu and their son, Joonyoung. He remember how dangerous he is as a person.
 
But despite of that realization, he tried to bid his farewell to Junsu before, but he can't bear it when Junsu started to cry, knowing how dangerous it might be for them, so he hid his family somewhere. He won't forgive himself if something bad happens to them if ever some people remember him back when he was still in the resort suffering from amnesia.
 
He can protect them by taking them to another place, Yoochun thought. He will just protect them from afar. Yet again, Junsu opposed to the idea. So, Yoochun had no choice but to delay his plan to go, which lasted for 3 years. But now was the right time.
 
Military men are searching for him because of the crime he commited. He don't want his family to be involved. He need some help in order for him to fully protect his family from the danger he brought.
 
For a moment, he let his mind drift him to the past, back when he was still a soldier firmly believing to the perfect and military system. When that illusion was broken, he was lost on the sea and was found by the pirates. The soul of these pirates are depraved.
 
His "wife" Junsu and its lived in partner, Hyukjae's body were found lying in a pool of blood. He didn't saw it with his own eyes but he knows how the pirates kills. It was not hard to imagine the scene.
 
His child, Joonyoung died from typhoid fever on a hospital without a family by his side. Again, it wasn't hard to imagine because it was a replica of what happened to him back when he was still a child. His parents gave no attention to him at all. Was his son, loved by his foster parents when he was lost in the sea and can't be found?
 
Tears suddenly fell from his eyes. He can recall the time when he was still a pirate, the time when he don't consider himself as his own, and he just let himself follow where his loneliness and anger leads him to. Now, he doesn't believe in anything, no more principles to follow, no more soul. Until he was brought to a mental institutim which became hell for him.
 
That's where he met Joongki.
 
If how did they find each other despite the fact that they're both mentally ill, he can't really explain. But they really fell in love with each other and even though Joongki's now dead, it left the biggest change in Yoochun's life.
 
 
He let NDI used his skills, because he knows it'r what Joongki wants. He never touch a knife nor he lay a finger to anyone anymore. Joongki is always at his side. He can feel his warmth, as if agreeing to his own decisions after he died. He can hear his laugh while he regain his sanity little by little.
 
He remember the fire on the motorboat he's riding in order for him to get through the sea for his last mission, which is to bring the chip to NDI's office.
 
He was mocked again by fate, by being lost in the sea for the 2nd time around, which made him lose memories, he can't even remember Joongki.
 
Another sigh came from his lips as he looked again at the seabord, to the only light that can be seen. It might be from the lamp, or the NDI, or unfortunately, from the soldiers who are searching for him.
 
He knows, that now is the time, the right time to be back in NDI as Agent Ghost.

A/N: even though Yunho nor Jaejoong wasn't mentioned here that doesn't mean that it isn't a yunjae fic. It still is. =)