"Did something happen?"

 

Both Mr. and Mrs. Kim slowly notice that there is something wrong with their daughter. They both looked very worried, and it honestly makes Jungkook feel good to know that they're actually trying to fix the mistakes they made from the past. To notice something is wrong from their kid even when they said nothing.

 

"Can i stay here? I mean spend the night here."

 

"Sure, of course you can, If it'll help you to feel at ease for being close with her. I'll tell Nana to prepare your room."

 

Jungkook and Yeri never told Mr and Mrs. Kim about their nightmare, about what happened to them, so if something is wrong with Yeri, they always think it is regarding her accident with Jihoon, means that she need him to be with her, even when reality right now is probably the opposite of that, Yeri gets scared over him again. 

 

"Alright, thank you."

 

"You should rest too."

 

Mr. Kim gave him a pat on his shoulder as he left him.

 

"Thank you Jungkook-ah." 

 

Mrs. Kim is giving him a light hug while following his husband, they seem to try to get to see Yeri decide to not do it after a short discussion.

 

He spent his time sitting alone at the dining table while trying to think Yeri is alright. He’s trying so hard to hypnotize himself that everything is good in their life right now. 

 

He let out a long sigh because nothing is working, he only feels even more bothered.

 

“Mr. Jeon, your room is ready.”

 

Nana is coming to him and handling him a key. This house is basically like a hotel.

 

"Thank you."

 

He received the key and progressed to follow her, Nana told him that Mrs. Kim gave a guest room on the second floor as his room for tonight, near Yeri's, so he could check her out if something happened.

 

"Rest well, sir." 

 

His room is like two rooms apart from Yeri's. Nana said the room was supposed to be Yeri's study room, but since she became an actress, it is mostly used as her closet, or storage room. He bowed her head to Nana, as she came back to the first floor and he watched her until she's gone.

 

He walked to Yeri's room, knocking into it, but got no response. He tries one more time, and still no response.

 

It is scary to experience this thing after he saw Yeri drowning herself in the ocean. So he tries to open the door, and there are tons of relieves when he knows it was unlocked. He can get in easily.

 

He was here a few months ago, and to be honest, he can sense a change in this room, it feels more alive and normal compared to before, knowing Yeri has been spending time here for the past month, it makes sense.

 

He drags one chair next to the bed where Yeri is sleeping, he just wants to stay for awhile and watch her, to make him less worried. 

 

She is alive, sleeping soundly while her hair is covering most of her face. He's been watching her sleep for a countless times since he met her a year ago, but tonight feels so different. She doesn't seem to be resting in her sleep.

 

"What is wrong with her?" 

 

He touches her face to get rid of a few strains of her hair only to find that her eyes are swelling, she's been crying.

 

Jungkook caresses her face a few times more and there is something that makes him feel heavy on his heart, it makes him get down from his chair and kneeling next to Yeri's bed while trying to find what is wrong from her. He thought she's always been fine after all this time.

 

***

 

 

Cold, that's what Yeri felt when she slowly opened her eyes. She knows it is still late at night, or probably at dawn, judging from how cold the air is and how dark the view from her window is.

 

She was going to get out for a fresh air, because she feels a strong headache as soon as she wakes up, but she stopped when she realized that Jungkook is here, holding her hands as he's sleeping while put his head down on her bed, crouching down while sometimes changes his head position, his neck must be in pain like this.

 

Yeri is doing nothing but watching him closely, she holds his hand back and ended up shedding tears again after she realized that it is hard for her to keep on living her life as normal while Jungkook is here trying so hard to protect here and care for her when she doesn't even deserved it.

 

She was confident to be with him before because he was such a weird person, a jerk who probably doesn't care about others just like her. She’s willing to be with him at first because she thought so she won't have any embarrassments or guilty feelings for treating him badly, like they do deserved each other. 

 

But right now, things have changed, he became someone that is too big, too good for her, that being with him makes her feel like she's punishing him without a reason.

A man as perfect as him deserved so much more than just Kim Yeri with all her mess.

Heimwee was working for him, but it is not for her.

 

She can feel that her eyes get warm again by tears as she watches him. She feels bad, sorry, and more than anything disappointed in herself.

 

Yeri is getting down from her bed, and takes a seat next to Jungkook who's still sleeping while holding her hands. She let herself go from him and leaned her head into her bed, put herself closer to him and tried so hard to make herself better while watching him.

 

She knows that Jungkook right now is no longer someone who has plans to ruin her life, he is totally genuine with what he wants to give to her. No more revenge or hatred, she believes that he really cares for her. That's why it's hard.

 

It is hard to stay with him in a situation where she can't even trust her parents or herself for treating him right.  

 

She missed the timing to get back to her bed and pretending to not notice Jungkook's existence when he suddenly opened his eyes and their eyes met.

 

"Why are you here?" 

 

She is trying so hard to talk while holding her tears. She knows her voice came out as weak, it is just totally obvious.

 

"To watch you."

 

"I'm fine."

 

He won't believe it, of course. He does nothing but takes her closer so now they're sitting on the floor facing each other. 

 

"I'll leave, if you don't want me here."

 

He has no plan to let Yeri know that he is here, because she has been avoiding him all day.

 

"Did you talk to my parents yet?"

 

Yeri is not answering his question but changing her position so now she's sitting on the floor while watching a huge window in front of her. Her voice is still weak, but much better than before.

 

"I thought you are here for that."

 

She continues to talk while glancing at him who's completely at a loss at words. He is not responding to what she asked, and he knows she will get annoyed really fast because of it.

 

"When I saw your brother for the first time.."

 

"We're talking about you."

 

Yeri knows how rude she sounds when she cuts Jungkook's words before he can finish it. He let out a smile and tilted his head instead of getting mad, it looked like he saw her as a whiny little kid for what she did.

 

"I asked my sister, and at one point she told me about his family, believe it or not. For me, it was the best thing i've heard about him. His family is complete."

 

"You told me you know my brother wasn't happy, and you thought it wasn't because of us? You thought his family is complete, so his problem is definitely not coming from his home, what a bull."

 

Jungkook didn't say a thing because he feels relieved when Yeri ended her talks with a little laugh, it's probably because she thinks what he said was ridiculous but it is still good to see her smile.

 

"It was just me and my sister at that time, I never ate food my mom made for me, I never played with my dad, talked about school, sports, or even complained to them about my life because they're not even exist."

 

Yeri is glancing at him, and he can see from her eyes that she felt bad for what she just said about him. She's trying to fix her position while avoiding his eyes, so he stops her and makes her turn to him once again.

 

"No one ever helped me and memorized what kind of medicine I needed to take when i'm injured. Mrs. Kim helped me."

 

If he is trying to be honest, Yeri is someone who always received care and attention from people around her, whether it's her parents, dr. Yoo, Irene, or even her manager. They're all trying so hard to help her but because of her nature and her own pain, she passed everything as something insignificant. 

 

As for him, someone who always thought that people help him and do things for him because they're getting paid, a genuine care like the one he experienced recently is something that he's happily gaining. It wasn't overwhelming or annoying just like what Yeri thought, it was good.

 

"A little thing like that, things you always see as a bother because you're so used to having it, for me it is like a reward, a prize that I never win my whole life."

 

Yeri feels like she is being judged, and her feelings get hurt not because she thought that she doesn't deserve it but because she failed to see this side of Jungkook.
 

She is the one who always talked about how similar she is with him, that's why their relationship works no matter how messed up the situation surrounding them, when from this perspective, they are actually very different.

 

She was ruined by her own choice, and others never stop to fix her, to help her and to reach for her. While Jungkook,  no one is trying to help him, he left with no choice but to get ruined. She passed the chance while he is waiting for it his whole life.

 

"Even when your dad asked me to watch a baseball game with him which has nothing to do with work, I really want to say yes and follow him.. even when you and others told me that it doesn't make sense..i.. actually want to know what it feels like."

 

"You hate being treated as weak."

 

"Are you really thinking that i received care from your parents as something weak?"

 

Yeri is totally aware that she is naturally a bad person, even she doesn't know why she always being negative. She feels embarassed when he glancing at her and a little bit laughing  while staring at her. He thinks she was ridiculous.

 

"I am not as strong as you think, I am pathetic. That's what I wanted to tell you honestly last night. Pathetic and totally stupid."

 

She keeps her eyes on Jungkook who's talking while looking down and sometimes holding his rib, he's probably in pain after sitting while sleeping to watch her earlier.

"That's not what i meant."

" You don't want me as a filler for your brother to your parents, yet you treated me as one for your own need."

 

He stopped talking while leaning his head, and closing his eyes, he was in pain. Yeri is staring at him and does nothing. She just petrified on her positions for such a long time before she came closer to him and let out a long sigh.

 

"You are just so good at making me feel horrible. You know i don't usually care about others, i won't know anything if you never told me, your feelings, your pain, what you think, what you like or hate.."

 

Jungkook can feel a cold touch on his wound, when Yeri puts her hands on it and caresses it lightly, she sits closer to him and he can see that her eyes are red and teary.

 

"I just thought you hate it, you hated my brother your whole life, and my parents treated you as a replacement will offend you.  You are not a filler of anyone for me. Me as my brother's sister and Me right now is different. What i lost when my brother gone.. i can't get it back no matter how hard i tried. But i can still do many things, a brand new things with you. "

 

She helped him to sit properly and it just makes his pain worse. He told Yeri to stop while shaking his head repeatedly.

 

"This won't do, we have all your medicine here, I'll get it for you."

 

She leaves the room before he can say anything to her.

 

---

 

Yeri is back to Jungkook, only to find him already laying down on her bed, closing his eyes, probably sleeping or holding his pain. She touched her arms and he was actually still awake.

 

"What is that?" He is pointing his hands to a plastic bag she's holding.

 

"Your medicine."

 

"Why do you have that?"

 

The answer is ridiculous and embarrassing but Yeri has no way out but to tell him the truth.

 

"My mom trained me."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She just did it for a few days at most, she is not sure if she can still remember all things she learned. She takes one tube from the plastic bag and shows it off to him.

 

"A pain killer."

 

"I know what it is."

 

Jungkook is totally confused with what is going on, so he rolls his eyes to Yeri who takes the rest of the tubes and holds it in front of his face.

 

"For Jungkook when he has a fever, this one to help him sleep better, and this small one is for anytime he has trouble digesting his food because of his injury..Mrs. Kim teached me that because I am so bad at taking care of you. She is worried."

 

Yeri gives him a smile while patting his head and it is honestly something that is unexpected, funny, but also enough to make him feel touched.

 

"I thought you'd hate it if you find out that my mom did this for you."

 

"No, it is good, you really need to learn."

 

He is talking while taking a tablet of pain killer with Yeri's help. Laughing and actually feeling better after he talks to her honestly.

 

"Tell me everything from now on, I know i keep saying that i like you because you are strong, independent, and stuff.. but i think it is better for you to keep those traits for others and let me see the other side of you that others don't know."

 

He nods his head quickly and keeps watching her as she puts all his medicine back into its bag while sometimes reading the written instruction again trying to memorize it.

 

"Did I show up in your nightmare again?"

 

Yeri stopped what she was doing immediately and lifted her face to him while being confused and slightly offended.

 

"Why do you think that's what happened?"

 

"You were avoiding me, you asked me to leave you alone, you begged while you cried just like how you did it when you showed up in mine."

 

Right, she did.

 

Yeri knows that Jungkook is always trying so hard to make her feel better since the accident, she can not hide her fears of him sometimes, especially when she sees him being mean to others or when he is arguing with her dad about business, When he is being serious or intimidating. 

 

And she told him that, she is so much better at being honest with Jungkook about her feelings compared to him, that's why until today he still treats her very carefully, he gets stressed over it too because he can't do anything about what she felt regarding those nightmares.

 

"That is why i am here to let you know that whatever is in your nightmare is not real. I am."

 

"I know."

 

She holds Jungkook's hand to reassure him that she already knows how to separate which one is him from her nightmare and his real self.

 

"I don't have any nightmare these days."

 

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

 

"I didn't mean to, it's just..it's hard for me to be with you.”

 

“Why?”

 

"Don't you think it is too naive for all of us to think that the past 15 years didn't happen because you are here, in a place where my brother killed himself?"

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I still resent my parents, I hate myself, I don't even know why you are here right now.. You are a changed person and I am barely making any progress, if anything I feel like I get worse each day."

 

She let out a sigh and ended up crying again when she finally said it. She really wants to tell Jungkook that the plan they both made is not working for her.

 

“You deserved better than just me and my wrecked life."

 

She doesn't know what to say but it is the reason why she always feels insecure in her relationship with Jungkook, not because of Lea or others, it's just because of him.

 

"I almost died saving your life."

 

She looks up to him again when what he just said is totally not making her feel better but worse.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Why do you think i did that?"

 

Yeri can not find a suitable response for his question, so she shakes her head lightly.

 

"Because every effort I made until today, I did it for you. If you’re gone, then my efforts would be useless and meaningless"

 

He is serious and Yeri can see how much Jungkook is trying so hard to convince her that he has no problem dealing with her.

 

"You are the one and only reason I did everything differently."

 

Yeri knows it very well, the way Jungkook deals with Tron and Jihoon, how he deals with his own hatred for her parents, even though he ended up liking some things from the process, she knows that the only reason he compromised with everything was her, her nightmare, her fears, her wishes, her existence as a whole was the reason why he changed.

 

"You are too busy seeing the worst from everybody, you even see yourself that way."

 

Jungkook pointed out what she did precisely, she is so used to seeing the worst from everybody because she doesn't want to get trapped in an empty hope that someone actually cares for her.

 

"I'll keep my pace with you, i'll take a few steps back so you won't get stuck anywhere."

 

Yeri still looks like she is in his nightmare, her long hair, her white sleepwear, her tears and her red eye, but when she gives him a smile and offers him a hug, he knows that she's no longer seeing him as her nightmare.

 

"Thank you”

---

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