SP-6

Heimwee ( /ˈɦɛi̯mʋeː/ ) SP

"What are we doing right now?"

 

"Making dinner."

 

"But you said my parents went to buy groceries."

 

Yeri is doing nothing but watching Jungkook busy on his own, trying to make something out of a few bread and instant food they brought from home this morning.

He could make a hot dog or a burger from that, but she definitely won't eat, it is not healthy.

 

"You are so good at reading the situation, no wonder you are successful as a businessman."

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"You know how scared they are, you think they won't come back here."

 

"That's not what i was thinking."

 

It was, actually, about the scared part, but not about them running away. He knows Yeri's parents need some time too.

 

He was trying to explain it to her and to tell her that she needs to stop seeing the worst from everybody when a familiar car pulled over in the front yard. They're back already, it's not even an hour. He stares at Yeri who's standing still in front of him, eyes are on Mrs. Kim who's out of the car and carrying a few paper bags in her hands. It baffled him when Yeri shed a few drops of tears but hid it immediately when she realized that he saw it.

 

"Help her."

 

That's what she said while dragging his hands and pushing him back to the front door.

 

"We bought everything."

 

Yeri is not saying anything when her mom drops all the things she bought on a table in front of her. She's not answering or responding because everything felt so unreal.

 

"I bought lots of your favorite fruit."

 

She finally can get back to her senses when Jungkook is standing behind him, squeezing her shoulder and patting her back a few times.

 

"Thank you."

 

She's able to say that at least , thanks to him.

 



 

 

"Why did you come back?"

 

Yeri can not sleep at all tonight, she has so many things going on in her head and she knows her mom who's laying next to her, trying to get some sleep is also bothered by so many thoughts.

This is the first time for them to share a room since a long time ago, uncomfortable and awkward but she feels familiar with it. She decided to talk to her about what happened tonight because she wanted to know what is going on for real.

 

"We never plan to run away, if that's what you are curious about."

 

"Aren't you scared of me?"

 

"Why would I get scared over my own daughter?"

 

"I am no longer a kid, I know what's going on."

 

Mrs. Kim is totally defeated when Yeri talks while raising her voice a little bit. She glances at her and gives her a squeeze on her hands.

 

"We're all trying, Yeri-ya.. me and your dad know how big our mistake is to you, We don't want it to happen again."

 

Well, she is right. Everyone is having their own struggles after a long years of tragedy that haunted their respective lives. Jungkook is probably the one who's the most successful to finally move on, with her help he said. And her parents are also feeling better because of him.

It's all nothing but hard work for everyone. They're all trying.

 

"I don't want you to feel like you were forced to deal with me."

 

“It’s more like we forced you to deal with us.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“Just like what dr. Yoo said, ``You've been fine for years because you are good at ignoring us, and these days, we keep sticking ourselves to you, forcing you to act like our family was normal and we never treated you bad..”

 

Yeri turned her face to see her mom, she was afraid that all the words her mom tells her is nothing but a sugar coating version of her fears. But it doesn't seem like that, she looked so pretty with a smile when she said that.

 

"It is true we were afraid earlier, but me and your dad already made a decision."

 

"What decision?"

 

"If Yeri actually wanted us to die, the least we can do is to follow what she wanted."

 

That was so absurd, she feels totally horrible for that.

 

"Mom.."

 

"It was something we made when you were in the hospital. I told him that we should just let you kill us since a long time ago, so you won't suffer.."

 

"The accident is not your fault, technically it was Jeon Jungkook's."

 

Yeri knows it is wrong to blame Jungkook, but at least her mom knows nothing about the accident, why it happened and how it happened. It doesn't seem unfair to trap her in a guilt she doesn't even understand.

 

"He saved your life."

 

"Right."

 

"The thing is, Yeri-ya... we won't let go of you ever again, what is going on in the past is something we can not change, i gotta need to deal with my sins to my son, but i know i can do so much more for you."

 

Listening to this is actually bringing comfort and confidence to Yeri. Her parents put so much trust in her to become better, they know she's probably still a danger for them but they decided to stay.

 

She looks at Mrs. Kim once again and it is actually nice to have her around after she can not bring her closer  even though she really wanted to. Her guilty feeling to her brother won't let her, the pride and the stupid hatred forbid her to do that. And right now, it feels like everything was all lifted and she can do what she wanted again. To care, to trust, to love.

 

"I'll do better, I'll be better."

 

"I know you will."

 

***

 

 

Yeri barely has any sleep, but no matter how hard she tried she could not just do it, she spent her time browsing her phone. Reading a few proposals of projects Irene told her to review as her future works. And she's done after a couple of hours, still with zero will to sleep. She decided to start her day earlier than others and get out from her room for a cup of coffee. 

 

"He ended up here."
 

She walked to the living room and found Jungkook sleeping soundly on the couch, he's wearing a few layers of clothes and a thick blanket covering his whole body. It must be freezing to sleep here, but she won't blame him, staying with Mr. Kim is probably worse for him.   

 

This cottage only has two rooms, the plan was for her to sleep with him in a room together, but her mom insisted on staying with her so Jungkook was forced to share a room with Mr. Kim, he is totally uncomfortable and probably trying so hard to do anything but sleep inside the room and ended up struggling outside.

 

7 AM. She stares at her watch while sipping a cup of coffee and sits on a couch across where Jungkook is sleeping. She watches him and secretly hopes for him to wake up so she can have someone to talk to, but he didn't. He seems very much deep in his sleep.

 

"Good morning."

 

An unexpected and heavily awkward voice is coming from behind her, she turns her face right away and Mr. Kim is here. Right, he always wakes up early ever since he was young.

 

"Morning."

 

She responds to his greeting while getting up from her seat and trying so hard to find a reason to go back to her room but she failed to do that.

 

"Did you only make one serving?"

 

Yeri is looking around to make sure if her dad actually talks to her and no one else.

 

"The coffee?"

 

"Do you want some?"

 

"Made me one, i'll be outside."

 

She was just saying it, not expecting to receive an order like this. 

 

She does nothing when Mr. Kim leaves the house while wearing his jacket. He walks around for a while until he stops at the edge of the lake near the front gate.

 

***

 

"I don't know what you like."

 

His mind was going far away before Yeri came to him offering him a warm coffee. He said thank you to her and she responded with nothing.

 

"So you came here before?"

 

That's what he asked her when she took a stand next to him, her eyes are also wondering. He never saw Yeri this close before, not when she became an adult, he only ever saw her through an HD screen of his TV.

 

"Once."

 

"What for?"

 

"Running away from you."

 

She talked while glancing at him and the way she said it is intriguing.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"It was the time when you set up people to watch me."

 

Right, the day he found out Yeri is dating the Jeon Jungkook he always feared.

 

"I was so taken aback and confused because why would you against me having a relationship with one of your kind."

 

She could've said it better, that was rude, the way she put him with Jungkook as one classification.

 

"one of my kind?"

 

"A man who chases nothing but money and power, a man who's ready to sacrifice everything in his life for a sake of winning."

 

Yeri talked about it without emotion, she doesn't seem angry or mad even though what she said was a complete jab at both him and Jungkook at the same time. It was a complete diss.

 

"That's why my brother died, right? Because you can not let go of him as your most valuable weapon to fight the whole world."

 

She finally turns her body to him, and gives him a smile, waiting for his response to all the accusations she throws at him. This is the first time she is able to confront him about her brother without tears or excessive anger like how she used to do back in the days. If before he always gets even angrier every time she does this, right now he just feels embarrassed and guilty.

 

"I regret it everyday."

 

"That you losing your weapon?"

 

"Losing my son."

 

Yeri is becoming wary when Mr. Kim talks with such a firm intonation, there is no warmth in his words at all. He seems very tired with all the s she throws at him from a decade ago until today, it shows on the way he talks right now.
 

Because, deep down inside her heart, she knows both of her parents never meant any harm to Seokjin, at least not on purpose. She saw  how much they suffered after they learned they lost a son. From trying to move on until dealing with another mess that is her. Just like what her mother said before, they both lost a son for the first time and they don't know how to deal with that.

 

"It isn't fair if you refuse to see our efforts to continue living our life after what happened."

 

True that. They worked hard, it's just her who refused to see.

 

"He was my everything."

 

And having this conversation for the first time since forever is actually opening up her wound for one more time. It still hurts, so much.

 

"And i'm really sorry for taking it away."

 

Mr. Kim never admitted that the death of Seokijin was his mistake, not in front of her face like right now. She only ever accused him of this and that and he will end up shutting her off. It kept happening for years, until she became tired and decided to cut him off for her life completely.

 

"I am completely at fault. It is not you, or Jungkook or your mother, it is all in me."

 

She already tried so hard to hold her tears but she ended up failing to do that. All the things she had done, all the rage and hatred she keeps showing him and others. She really wanted to take it back. She wiped her tears when Mr. Kim offered his hands to her.

 

"I'm really sorry."

 

She takes his hands and it does feel odd to slowly gain the thing she threw away on purpose, odd but very far from bad.

 




 

"I need to go back right away, can you call our driver to pick me up?"

 

Yeri can sense a high urgency from the way her mom talked after one phone call. When she finally gets back to the house, Jungkook is already awake, helping her mother do things for breakfast.

 

"Something's going on?"

 

She turned her eyes to Mr. Kim who looked rather calm but also curious about what's going on.

 

"Just about work."

 

"You should go then."

 

Yeri is not a kid anymore, who is often whining when her mom leaves because she has work to do. Even though judging from her parents reaction she is aware they get worried and hesitate to leave after what happened.

 

"I'll be fine, I promised you, didn't i?"

 

It's really reassuring, the way Yeri said it with a pretty smile and a delicate voice. Jungkook can't help but be proud of her.

 

"I'll stay with her."

 

So he decided to help her to feel better by saying that he'll stay with Yeri.

 

"Alright, that's settled then."

 

Mr. Kim is staring at him, he is making sure of his capability to deal with Yeri, a little bit annoying because he seems pretty much doubting him again and again, but he is aware he'll do the same thing if he were in his position.

 

The rest of the morning is full with Yeri and both of her parents packing their bag. And also Mr. Kim asked him to do some correction over a report his employees made because it seems like he left tons of work before he decided to go here. He helped because he's been working on it too for awhile.

 

"You don't need to be here, if you need to work too."

 

He's still left with one more report when Yeri is done helping her parents and comes to him while taking a seat in front of his desk. She's not angry or anything, it was a genuine offer.

 

"If you don't want me here, you can ignore me and do whatever you wanted to do."

 

Yeri feels thankful of course that everyone is worried for her and trying to make her feel better, but more or less, she really needs some time to be alone. She thought promising her parents and Jungkook, trying to tell them that she feels ok will make them believe, but it seems like none of them is brave enough to let her deal with herself.

 

"Then what's the point? You can work better at your office."

 

"I'll watch you, making sure that..."

 

"I promised you, didn't i?"

 

Jungkook stopped his words when she cut what he just said, he looked taken aback, maybe annoyed too, but then he gave her a smile while back focusing on his work.

 

"I'm not your mother, I can't take people's words so easily like that."

 

She is not responding to what he just said, she should've felt bad and offended because he basically said that her promise means nothing to him, but the thing is, she feels relieved instead, that he doesn't trust her, that he needs to make sure.

 

She doesn't know what to say to him anymore, and it seems like he notices how she is at a loss for words when arguing with him. He gives her one longing stare but she manages to dodge it when her mom calls her over, telling her that Mr. Joo is here to pick them up. She left Jungkook without any further conversation.

 

"Pick your phone if i called, i made enough food for you to eat for two days, you just need to heat it up, don't walk around outside too much since it's cold."

 

Yeri is hearing Mrs. Kim with a small nod and a little laugh, because it does feel like she is a kid again. Everytime her mom went for a business trip, she would always tell her this. To pick up her call, to eat well, to not fight with her brother.

 

"Don't drink too much coffee, sleep well.."

 

"You should take care of yourself too."

 

She ended up cutting her mom's words because it feels like she will list all the things she needs to do being late because of it.

 

"I don't know if i ever told you this, but sometimes i really hate seeing my parents working too much."

 

"You said that before."

 

"Really?"

 

"I think so.."

 

Mrs. Kim doesn't seem so sure about it either so she just gave her a quick hug and pushed her back to get inside the car. She said good morning to Mr. Joo and he seemed thrilled to receive it.

 

"Call me if something happened."

 

She turns her face when Mr. Kim is finally out of the house after having a brief conversation with Jungkook about their work.

 

"Can i call you to take him back home?"

 

Mr. Kim shakes his head and pats her shoulder lightly.

 

"I'll feel less worried if he's here."

 

"What an irony."

 

She talks with a total sarcasm that her dad laughed because of it. He lifts his shoulder to show her that there is nothing he can do about what he did and what he said in the past. About his efforts to take her away from Jungkook, about his fear of him.

 

Mr. Kim only responded to what Yeri said with one little smile and no further words.



 

 

"Did they leave?"

 

Yeri is finally getting back inside after sending her parents off. She responded to that question with one small nod. Jungkook still has a few things to work on, so he ignores her and focuses on what he needs to do so he can be done with it faster.

 

" Dad told you to send the report through email."

 

He watches her wearing her coat. She is going somewhere.

 

"I'm going to run. I need to exercise.."

 

"Alright, I did say you can ignore me if you don't want me here anyway."

 

He talked to her while still focusing on his work. He received no response but he can hear the back door opened, and her step is going away, leaving the house.

 

***

 

Jungkook is left with a few small reviews after 40 minutes. He was going to finish this and search for Yeri who’s been outside while he is working. Not gonna lie, he still has so many worries over her well being. Especially after what happened for the past few days.

 

He decided to look for her even when his work is still not finished because he gets anxious. He already grabs his jacket and opens the front door when Yeri shows up in front of him, she’s no longer wearing her jacket but holding it in her hands, she ties her hair up, sweating and a little bit better compared to how she looked before. 

 

“Are you ok?”

 

That’s what he asked her when he saw her catching her breath while putting her hands on her stomach. 

 

“I’m fine.”

 

She pushed her way into the house without looking at him. He’s studying her expression because he found something is bothering him from it. Even when Yeri is already inside the house, taking out one bottle of water and drinking it in one shot, he keeps staring at her until she notices him. She lets out one short chuckle before looking at him.

 

“I really am fine.”

 

She left to her room without sparing him any attention, Even though Yeri emphasized enough about how good her well being is, he’s still not buying it. Just like how his sister told him about how fine her condition is but ended up dying. He doesn’t trust people easily like that.

 

He spent almost 30 minutes waiting for her to come out, he almost lost his patience but when the door finally opened, he felt better again. At least she is still here.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

She seems not surprised that he waited for her.

 

“Did i do something wrong?”

 

Jungkook knows his question is completely childish that even he became embarrassed after saying it. Yeri is taking a glance at him because of it.

 

“My life doesn’t always revolve around you. I have something else to think about.”

 

Well, that is true, they’re both an adult and no matter how complicated their relationship is they have their own life. He nods his head lightly, avoiding her eyes because he feels embarrassed over this conversation. Why would he think Yeri’s mind is so full of him and what he does..

 

“Alright then, i’ll be doing my work and i can help you with lunch after i’m done with it.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Yeri is answering him without looking at his eyes, she takes her makeup pouch from her bag, he was going to ignore the whole thing completely but when he sees how Yeri’s hands are shaking. He knows she told him a lie.

 

“My dad wanted it to be done before lunch time. Your work.”

 

Yeri is talking while glancing to where Jungkook stands, she thought he’s going to leave after she told him she’s fine but he doesn’t. He keeps watching her with those intimidated eyes, eyes who act like he knows everything. It is annoying at most times to see him like this. And when he’s walking closer to her the only thing she can do is backing away trying to avoid him. He seemed to notice and he stopped right away. Probably because of his habit to protect her from bad thoughts over their nightmare.

 

“I know.”

 

Jungkook stopped and turned his back away from her, trying to leave after a long sigh. She does nothing but wait for him to finally do that.

 

“Did I ever tell you this?”

 

He already has his hands on the door knob of her room but turns his body back to her, and she can see his expression is getting darker compared to before.

 

“She died because I trusted her when she said nothing was wrong in her life.”

 

He pointed his hands to a familiar painting which is placed at the corner of the room. It was a picture painting of him and Jeon Sooyoung. 

 

“Didn’t I beg you to not become like her?”

 

He did, all those days he spent when she was unconscious after the accident. 

 

Yeri is no longer looking at him because she feels bad and totally defeated for getting caught and being called out like that. Her silence is working to chase Jungkook out, she closes her eyes when a loud thud, sound of the door being slammed was heard.

 



 i'll post another chapter, later.

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Comments

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shiLOVEchi
#1
Chapter 13: you really are amazing writer. all your stories are nicely written. i love your plot. everything are just so great.
purplelay #2
Chapter 13: Thank YOU for such an amazing story!! I am always amazed by your plot and your stories. Stay safe always! I willl surely miss this story.
purplelay #3
Chapter 11: I am in love with this story! It makes me go on a roller coaster ride from the get go. Enjoyed every single chapter from the very first time you posted! Thank you so much for an amazing story. Can't wait to see how these two will end 😍
purplelay #4
Chapter 11: I am in love with this story! It makes me go on a roller coaster ride from the get go. Enjoyed every single chapter from the very first time you posted! Thank you so much for an amazing story. Can't wait to see how these two will end 😍
Ganiga
#5
Chapter 5: Am i the only one? but i think this one is the same with previous one
purplelay #6
Chapter 4: Both of them are so cute. I like the fact that they started to really talk it out rather than just thought that the other would understand. Can't wait to read more!
KarlaHill #7
Omgomgomgomg.

This is my fave series from youuuuuu... i really like their characters in this. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!
purplelay #8
Chapter 2: Plus, tomorrow's my birthday so thank you for this update! I got my early birhtday present from u this year :D
purplelay #9
Chapter 2: I read all of your stories over the weekend and I love every bit of it. You are a talented writer! Can't wait to read more jungri stories from u ?
Ganiga
#10
Chapter 1: Gosh! It was just yesterday i decided to read second chances for the nth times then here you are surprising me with a new update of heimwee. Thank you so so so much for coming back! ㅠㅠ