"Take care of everything. Tell Mr. Lee that I am not afraid to do anything for what he did to Jungkook."

 

Mr. Kim heard the full story now, he was also aware that Yeri took his old collection revolver to Mr. Lee's palace tonight. He also heard about what she did and how she got hit. It is a mess but he also feels thankful that just like what he expected Yeri didn't do anything more harmful than his expectation. She’s no longer her old self. She changed for the better.

Everyone is leaving the house after he gives them instructions about what to do and not do, to take care of all these messes. He really needs to deal with this carefully, so many things are at stake, besides Jungkook’s condition is still not good. He doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt.

He gets up from his office only to find Yeri is sitting in the kitchen with a half empty bottle of wine. He never sees her do this in their family home before, so it is actually surprising but also worrying.

 

"Are you ok?"

 

He walked past her while taking out a can of coffee from the fridge. It is obvious from one glance only that Yeri is already a little bit drunk, her face is completely dark and her wound in her lips is still fresh. She's been crying.

 

"I almost killed a person again tonight."

 

He was surprised when Yeri talked to him with a little smile. He was going to leave her, afraid if she doesn't want to hear any opinion from him but turns out that she actually needs someone to talk to.

 

"But you didn't."

 

He takes a seat next to her while studying her face. Yeri finally looked at him back and her eyes started to get teary again.

 

"I am a complete mess."

 

And she cried..

 

"No you are not."

 

"I didn't stop because I was afraid. I stopped because I don't want Jungkook's efforts to fix me became wasted.. "

 

"And that's enough..."

 

She can feel a little squeeze on her hands. A warm hand she never held again since forever.

 

"So what if you stopped because of him? "

 

"If there was no him, Mr. Lee is probably dead by now and I'll be in jail and you'll be..."

 

"But he is here."

 

Yeri can sense a strong grip on her hands when Mr. Kim says it. He seems really eager to remind her that she needs to live her life properly because there is someone who waits for her to do that.

 

"I know you are angry, you have every right to do that. Mr. Lee is targeting Jungkook and he wants him dead."

 

And the thought of all the messes that happened yesterday is rushing into her mind. How close she was to losing Jungkook, what if she was late to help him, what if Mr. Lee's plan worked, what if she left him in the cottage after their fight and didn't come back.. She can't even dare to imagine what is going to happen, that her heart is hurting so much she is crying even harder than before.

She received a hug from her father and regardless how awkward it is, she actually feels better because of it. Mr. Kim is caressing her back and when she finally stopped crying, he wiped her tears with his bare hand just like how he did it when she was a young kid. There were times when she depended on him this much as a family.

 

"How is he?"

 

She finally manage to calm herself down and realized that her brain was so full with hatred and stupid thoughts she barely remember that Jungkook who got hurt is the reason why she did everything in the first place.

 

"Similar to your condition after the accident last month, probably worse. His health has been deteriorating for the past year, he also gets hurt often…"

 

"You are blaming me."

 

"I'm not. I just… your mom said that it is not fair you are not staying with him when that's the only thing he does for you."

 

Yeri feels totally defeated hearing this, seems like her dad notices the change of her expression because he gives another squeeze on her hands while giving her a smile.

 

"I'll take you to the hospital if you want."

 

"Thank you."

 

****

 

"What happened?"

 

Mrs. Kim is totally not expecting Yeri and her husband to come after midnight like this. 

 

"I'll stay"

 

She knows something is wrong when Yeri is sitting in an empty chair next to Jungkook's bed. She's sitting there for a few seconds with a blank expression and cries.

 

"He is ok, Yeri-ya."

 

She is trying to calm her down but nothing seems working because Yeri just keeps crying while reaching for Jungkook's weak hand as she watches him.

 

"Can you stay with him?"

 

She pat her head because letting her stay here will probably be better both for Jungkook and Yeri. She received no answer so she left without any further words.

Mrs. Kim spent a few hours coming home and took a few pairs of Yeri's clothes just in case she wanted to stay the night. It is almost morning when she finally comes back to the hospital but Yeri is nowhere to be seen. And that's the last time she ever saw her in here.

 

---

---

***

 

"Your schedule is done for today."

 

Irene is a little bit annoyed by Yeri these days. It's been two weeks or something that she’s been spending her time like she lives in her office. While it is true that her schedule started to get packed again, she doesn't need to do this. Reviewing offers and even trained all the rookie actresses without getting paid.

 

"I know."

 

"I heard your boyfriend discharged yesterday."

 

It is also weird that Yeri is staying here when Jungkook is finally discharged from hospital. She heard about how messed up her situation is at the beginning of the incident. She should be happy and celebrating.

 

"Hmm.."

 

But the response she received is the opposite of it.

 

"Aren't you supposed to do something?"

 

Yeri getting up right away means she doesn't want to answer her question, she takes her bag and her car keys before coming out from the room without saying anything. She's not asking for Jay or Bona to drive her around these days.

Outside of her schedule, it is almost impossible to track where she is going, lucky for her though, her father has provided her with a great security but also enough privacy for her to do anything she wants.

 

---

---

 

Jungkook was againsts the idea to stay here after he was discharged. He is completely fine by now, he doesn't need any caretaker or special treatment. But one way and another he ended up here. Yeri's family house.

 

"We move your room to the first floor, so you don't need to walk around that much."

 

"I am fine."

 

His hands are held by Mrs. Kim even though he told her that he is fine to walk alone, but she won't let go of him.

 

"The reason you're here is not because you're weak, Jungkook-ah."

 

"I know."

 

Mr. Kim told him about this the other day, he argued with him so much over this matter. He told him about what Mr. Lee is doing to him and all the things happened after that.

How he threatened him and dealt with him harshly to the point that we all need to worry about the whole family's well being. Him included.

 

"My husband has his own share of being annoying, but we never have enemies before. This is our first time, so.."

 

"Are you telling me that I'm responsible for all of this?"

 

Mrs. Kim is laughing when he talks to her with a little nerve.

 

"It's 80% Yeri actually."

 

The way that name throws up to him for the past few days is always making him anxious. He heard about what happened, he tried to talk to her but she's basically not giving him any chances. He only ever sees her once after the incident, and the only thing she does was saying sorry to him. She gave him no chance to tell her that nothing's happened because of her . She asked him for a distance between them and he could not do anything since he was a patient and she was free to do whatever she wanted.

 

It is a coincidence, he wanted to think and treat this as a coincidence when the front gate opened and Yeri was storming in to the living room, she's still wearing her celebrity looks, it is obvious she came here after a schedule. She looked surprised too when their eyes finally met after so long.

Awkward? yes, but more than that, it is hard.

 

"Can you show him his room?"

 

Mrs. Kim is letting go of his hands right away and tells Yeri to take over. He manages to shake his head to let her know that he can do everything alone, but she's actually listening to her mom well, and now is holding his arms. Her hands are cold, and this is her first touch that he can feel after a long time.

 

To explain why it is hard for him, the reason is nothing more than just him who’s actually bringing Yeri into a situation where she hates herself. He heard what was going on, even though he was actually thankful and thinking her trying to mess with Mr. Lee is not a bad move, she must be thinking otherwise.  She is probably hating and disappointed in herself over what she did, especially when she has all these insecurities over her new life, about how she failed to be better, how the new life is only working for him and not her. To be the reason for all of her miseries, he feels guilty. And the fact that she won't talk to him just makes everything even harder.

 

"It is good to see you."

 

Hearing Yeri's voice again is actually helping him to feel better right away. He watches her from up close, the way her hair moves and the way she smiled..

 

"Now you're talking to me."

 

Yeri can sense a huge relief from Jungkook's tone of speaking. He seems aware about how much she was avoiding him. It's a shame that she's doing this, but she has no choice.

She didn't know how to respond to that sarcasm until he pushed her away and stood firm in front of her while taking off her hands on his arms.

 

"I can walk by myself."

 

He certainly can, she already heard from her parents that Jungkook is fine now. His wounds are healing fast, the only problem he has right now is probably her.

 

"Good."

 

She put her hands on her back and talked to him while staring at the floor.

 

"I just came here to take some of my stuff."

 

"To where?"

 

"My apartment. We talked about this, I need to move out."

 

Well, yeah back to when he wasn't hurt. Yeri wanted to leave alone because of her parents.

 

"While i am here?"

 

"My mom is a better caretaker than i ever was.."

 

"You are not my caretaker, I could pay others to do that job."

 

She knows she hit a nerve with him when he talked in such a rude way and she can even see his smirk that is completely mocking her for what she said.

 

"That's not what i meant."

 

Yeri is saved by the sound of her mom who's calling both Jungkook and her to the kitchen.

 

"She needs me."

 

"and i don't?"

 

Yeri is definitely not having this. She started to look annoyed and Jungkook knows, but if this is all it takes to make her spare some time to talk with him, then he has no other way.

 

"I am in a situation where i don't want to talk to you. I told you before."

 

"Why? I deserve to know. You can't just throw away something you don't need after..."

 

He failed to finish his words when Yeri's eyes were no longer full with annoyance but filled with tears. She's not saying anything before she leaves him with so many questions but also a burden. She gets hurt again, because of him.

The rest of night is basically a torture for him, Yeri is here because both of her parents forced her to eat a dinner together. She only takes one piece of bread before leaving the table. He's not trying to stop her for obvious reasons.

It's just when she comes down with a suitcase and lots of stuff to load to her car that he finally feels the urge to fix everything and put everyone in their right place.

***

 

Yeri is still busy with one last bag she needs to pack up when someone knocks on her open door. From the way it sounds, or just simply the vibe, she already knows who is here.

She glanced at Jungkook who proceeded to get in and close the door, locked it and put the key to his pocket. He's doing it while making sure that she sees it.

 

"I need more time before i can explain things to you."

 

She knows what exactly Jungkook wants from her, an explanation about what is going on, or just simply a chance for him to know what her problem is and a chance to help just like how he used to do.

 

"Why?"

 

"I am sure you heard about what i did."

 

Jungkook's expression is changing from tired and frustrated into defeated and soft.

She stopped what she's doing and now looked at him who's talking while chuckling at her. His face is red.

 

"Not enough reason for you to.."

 

"I almost killed him. With my own hands, not with a fake gun, with a real one!"

 

She was surprised to hear that she talked with Jungkook with a very high voice, almost sounds like everything was his fault when the reality is not.

 

"You are not enough."

 

Yeri talks fast that Jungkook almost not catching what she said but he did.

 

"Not enough for what?"

 

She seems surprised when he demands more about what she just said that she started avoiding his eyes.

 

"I need more than you to be fine."

 

"What?"

 

"Can we talk about this later?"

 

" Are you saying that I am indeed a tool for you to use and because I kept ruining your life instead of fixing it, you came to a conclusion that I am not enough?"

 

"I didn't say that."

 

This whole conversation is already messed up only after a few seconds. Yeri is saying nonsense that is hurting him and making him confused especially after he already has his own guilt over what happened to her.

 

"Yes, you did."

 

Yeri can't believe that's the best words she could even find to explain what is going on to Jungkook. It was rude, confusing and even worse, she hurt him.

He probably doesn't have any will to deal with her anymore when he forces open the locked door with his bare hand. There is a loud bump from the wood when the door is finally opened.

 

"Even though it looks like it, you need to know that making your life worthy to live on is not the only reason why i'm exist."

 

That's the last thing he told her before she heard her mother asking Jungkook where he was going and the sound of a car leaving from the front yard. He's gone.

 

Yeri decided to not leave the house when she knows that Jungkook is the one who chose to leave instead. He takes his car and all his belongings. None of her parents ask what’s going on, because they are basically aware about how she kept avoiding Jungkook while he got sick. 

 

She spent the rest of the night thinking about why she would talk like that, when the only reason she does everything was because she wanted to be fine with her own efforts. She doesn’t want to depend on Jungkook completely to make her sane. He already has enough problems in his life, the addition of her would just break him worse than he already is. 

 

---

---

****

 

"He said he doesn't have any appointment, Miss."

 

Yeri's been waiting for half an hour, Jungkook's secretary said he was in a meeting so she decided to wait until he's done. Because he's been away for weeks, he needs a lot to catch up and the meeting went long. And when he was done, he said he doesn't want to see her.

 

"I didn't make one..but.."

 

"I'm sorry Mrs. Kim, he specifically said not you."

 

"Excuse me?"

 

"He told me this morning that he doesn't want to see you, it seems like he is aware you'll be here."

 

Cruel but also makes sense. She knows last night was a total disaster, Jungkook has every right to do this, but still..

 

"Can i see Mr. Kim then?"

 

"You can talk to his secretary."

 

"Right."

 

Seeing her dad is easier, the secretary let her in without too many questions because it seems like her dad already told everyone about how to handle her visit.

 

"What do you need?"

 

Yeri put her finger on her lips, telling her dad to be quiet afraid if his voice was heard.

 

"I need the door."

 

"What door?"

 

"That door."

 

She told her dad to move from where he stands because she is blocking her way to the connecting door.

 

"If he doesn't want to see you from the front door, why do you think he'll be delighted to see you coming from here?"

 

"He won't."

 

Yeri is opening the door with an expectation of Jungkook lashing out at her or something. But when she finally passed the door and locked it. The only thing she found was him laying down on one of the couches, with an ice pack in his hand. He seems to be sleeping.

She walks closer to him, and crouches down next to him while touching his face until he wakes up. He seems surprised to see her.

 

Her preference of angry Jungkook is always him who talks, who’s calling her out and being sarcastic about it. Him who said nothing like right now is far more scary, it does feel like he is tired of her and he’ll give up in the end, not wanting the same fate as his sister.

 

Jungkook is back to wearing his coat and sits on his desk, he uses his phone and she knows right away that he’s going to force her out from here probably calling security or her secretary, he’ll do that for sure. She walks fast to him and grabs the phone in a quick movement, she cuts the call, while slowly lifts her face to him.

 

“Last night was horrible, I am here to talk to you.”

 

She made a little mess on his desk and proceeded to fix it before Jungkook became more annoyed. She put the phone she held to its place and fixed a position of a few papers she scattered.

 

"I don't have time."

 

He takes a pile of papers from her hands and starts reading it seriously, he looks so pale, probably can not digest his food well since he already so used eating her mom's food all the time when he was sick.

 

"5 minutes."

 

He finally gave her attention when she said that, not a good one of course, he looked pretty much in disbelief that she thought 5 minutes is enough to fix what happened.

 

"Fine."

 

He gets up and walks to her direction while leaning his waist on his desk, and looking straight into her eyes.

 

"I started my treatment with dr. Yoo again."

 

She's trying to speak with confidence but she failed to do that, this is something she wants to hide from Jungkook because she hates being seen as a sick person when he's always trying so hard to see her as normal. And just like how she's expecting it, he was also surprised to hear.

 

"Don't worry, it is not because of you." 

 

So she thinks making him feel at ease is also important. Yeri is giving him a smile while glancing at her watch.

 

What should Jungkook say about seeing Yeri like this.. She looks like a different person. Like he doesn't know what is actually going on and what is inside her brain.

 

"I am always more broken than you. At first, i thought being with you would be enough to help me, but it is actually not, it never was."

 

He was going to say something but Yeri doesn't seem delighted with it that she put her finger on her lips telling him to not say anything while showing him her watch.

 

"I didn't work hard enough. I depended everything on you, as if my self as a whole was your responsibility, me getting hurt, it's all your fault, me doing stupid thing, it's all your fault, me almost killing my parents or others, it's all because of you. I unconsciously tangled my whole life with you, and just like you said, you are here not just for me to feel sure that my life is worthy to live on after I struggled because of my past."

 

She takes a deep breath and once again glances at her watch, and finally brings herself closer to him.

 

"I don’t want you or my dad covering up for what I did as a person."

 

“We never did that.”

 

He knows he sounds completely like a broken radio for what he said, even he knows how untrue the thing he just said.

 

“I went to see Mr. Lee alone a few days ago without my father knowing.”

 

That sounds stupid to be honest, Yeri was basically delivering her life for doing that, he’s glaring at her ready to called her out for what she did but he stopped when she gave him a smile while trying so hard to speak without crying.

 

“I said sorry to him, I was on my knees begging him to let go of you and my family..I even offered my help to let Jihoon out from prison..”

 

Yeri remembered that day, how much she was scared and unsure about what she was doing. She admits that she didn’t think that well before deciding to pay Mr. Lee visits and asks him for forgiveness. She was granted permission to see him under strict surveillance from his bodyguards. She was totally disrespected by everything he said to her, she doesn’t remember how but she ended up begging him to let go of Jungkook and whatever he ever did to him. And also her and whatever she did to him.

 

“That is so stupid.”

 

“Not as stupid as dying for my sake. Twice.”

 

Jungkook seems to aware that Yeri doesn’t like her efforts being called as stupid or useless, he didn’t refute what she said and now..looking at her with those eyes where he feels sorry to her.

 

“You are not responsible for what i chose..”

 

“But i am, that’s what being a family means.. I am also responsible over my brother’s choice to kill himself and my parent’s choice to see me as a monster.”

 

Yeri started to run out words to say to him, so she closed her eyes and pulled herself away from him.

 

"My 5 minutes is up."

 

Jungkook is not saying anything when she nods her head lightly to him as she left through the front door. He is not stopping her or asking her for more explanation and it is actually good because Yeri's been dealing with so many things these days, alone. She already gets used to it and she doesn't want to feel the need of him on a daily basis like before. She wanted to stop being someone who's holding him for doing what he needs to do.

 

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Few chapters left..