The dinner went on and on for hours because they talked a lot. The food was great, Jungkook is an amazing cook, the topic of their talk is also great, they don't talk much about their fears or the possibility of horrible things happening to them again though. They just told each other to be careful. 

 

Jungkook ends up becoming very tired and in pain because he is basically still a patient who forced himself to work and sleep late. She needs to watch him for a while before he can finally sleep in peace. He's been sleeping for two hours now that she decided to leave him to unpack a few things she brought from her parent's home. She needs to do lots of work.

 

Started from one huge backpack, containing all her work documents, including her schedule sheets, scripts, and other things. She put everything aside when she found something else in that bag.

 

"Why did I bring this?"

 

It's a piece of old dvd, she found it a few weeks ago and decided to bring it home. She took it and decided to watch it. Yeri's talent show was written in it.

 

"Why did my hair look so ugly?"

 

This is an old footage of her school talent show, she was in her first grade of middle school, the time when she was the most naughty and uncontrolled.

 

"You looked pretty, my sister."

 

That voice, it is coming from behind the camera, and Yeri slowly able to recall her memories of this particular event, it was around a year or two before Seokjin died, he is the one who recorded all of these. That day, when her life was so easy to live on.

 

"Your hair is ugly, but since you are pretty, it doesn't really matter."

 

"I'm doing martial arts, I don't know why I should style my hair."

 

"Because I paid for it?"

 

Yeri is laughing in that video, she gave Seokjin a hit on his stomach when he said that.

 

"More like Mrs. Kim told you to pay for it."

 

"Are you still upset that they won't be here?"

 

Right, even back on those days, her parents rarely showed up as part of her youth. They're mostly busy making money.

 

"Hey, at least I showed up, I skipped one lecture at my academy to do this."

 

Seokjin stretched out his arms so she could come to him for a light hug, she was so tiny and short back then while her brother is so big, even bigger and taller than Jungkook right now.

 

Yeri ended up smiling when she reminisced those days, those happy days.

***

 

"You looked pretty when you were a kid."

 

Jungkook was standing and watching the whole thing with Yeri, at first he was going to leave her alone, worried if she doesn't want him here but he can't stop seeing the happy, full of smile, little Yeri on that screen.

 

"Am i being too loud?"

 

Yeri was going to get up from the couch, but he stopped her and jumped into it while back hugging her so she can't move.

 

"No, it was fine, I woke up by myself."

 

"Then let's go back to sleep."

 

"I want to watch this."

 

"No, You don't."

 

She's trying to get up once again but he stops her with holding her tighter and makes her turn to him. He plays with her hair and Yeri seems to know that he waits for her to say something first.

 

"My brother is in it."

 

And his worries are proven to be true.

 

"So? I worked for your dad right now, I went to play golf and fancy dinner with him , I let your mom make food for me and I love you, what is so hard from watching him after I went through all that?"

 

"It is hard for me, if i watched something like this and your sister is on it."

 

"Why?"

 

Yeri turns her face and back to focusing her eyes on the screen before giving him an answer.

 

"I'll feel sorry for you when I learned how great your sister was as a companion in your life, while I am a.."

 

"She actually wasn't that great."

 

Yeri can't believe what she heard and she hit him with her elbow right away.

 

"How could you say that?"

 

"She left me in the end. Me who knows nothing but depending on her for my whole life.."

 

She gets up and she knows Jungkook was serious about what he said when their eyes met. 

 

That gloomy, doe eyes which hold long years of pain. Of course she felt sorry for him because her family caused this whole mess.

 

"You should visit her grave and beg her to forgive you, how could you say she isn't that great, Even me, a living person would still be offended."

 

So she's trying to make a joke so he won't get bothered too much by this conversation.

 

It worked, because he showed her a little smile but his eyes are still gloomy.

 

"I'll go with you, I'll help you to explain that you're not in your right mind after I caused an accident that almost killed you so i'll take full responsibility over what you just said about her."

 

Jungkook is no longer responding to her, and the only thing he's doing is playing with his hand while looking down. She's waiting for him to give her a smile again but he didn't, his eyes are getting teary instead.

 

"You know that I saw her in my dream, right?"

 

She's back to laying down on the couch and putting herself around his arms again, she holds him tighter than before while searching for his eyes.

 

"It was just a dream, but i can feel her sincerity, she's probably not the greatest, but she is trying her best..for you."

 

And when he finally stares at her again, with eyes that are so much more gloomy than earlier, she really wanted him to be happy for the rest of his life. Without any more pain or burden.

 

"I don't have any recording like this, we can't afford a cam recorder or stuff like that. Don't worry, you won't be able to watch."

 

His voice is shaking and Yeri feels bad for making him sad at times like this.

 

"There were actually times when I despised my brother too."

 

"I can't imagine how hard his life was, dealing with you.."

 

She's back to focusing her eyes on the TV screen when Jungkook points his finger into it.

 

Seokjin was going up to the stage with her.

 

"What did i say?"

 

Yeri doesn't seem to remember the event they watched on the screen right now, she even asked him about what she said on the video.

 

"You used him as a sparring partner. Don't you have any friends?"

 

The camera was placed in the middle, so parts of audiences also filmed, there were a bunch of kids who's laughing at her when she did her performance.

 

"Ah.. those kids should've gone to the stage with me, i supposed to perform with him and him."

 

And she suddenly gets excited while telling him to find the kid she meant on the screen.

 

"They pulled out at the last minute, told me that they didn't want to perform with me because they thought my parents sponsored the event so i could win the competition."

 

"Sounds about right."

 

Yeri is laughing because of Jungkook's response and the way he said it.

 

"My dad paid all those gifts indeed, but i didn't win."

 

"Really?"

 

"Technically I did, but I returned the trophy and gift."

 

"Why?"

 

"I fought with those kids the next day, and i was forced to give it away.."

 

Jungkook told her to stop talking and shaking his head while holding his laugh. It is embarrassing but that's what happened.

 

"That means you were stripped from your title, not returned it. You already won because of nepotism, and still losing it because you're behaving like a thug.."

 

“Right.”

 

She only responded to him with a word, hugging his arms tighter that now she used it as her pillow. 

 

"That is not what happened, right?"

 

Yeri is a little bit taken aback when Jungkook makes her face turn to him while holding her chin. His eyes are focusing on the TV screen, not her.

 

"Uh?"

 

"Give me that."

 

He takes away the controller and rewinds the video they watched. Back to right after Yeri finished her performance and got down from the stage.

 

"They made fun of you, those kids. Someone was trying to trip you."

 

Well, for now, Yeri completely remembers what is going on that day, and the days after that. She says nothing to Jungkook who's basically looking like he is in the middle of presenting his work project. Serious and somehow intimidating.

 

"You were scared of them. Unless you are an idiot, i don't think you came to them for a fight."

 

"Is it necessary to judge me from an ancient video tape?"

 

Yeri sounds lowkey annoyed but Jungkook knows that he is right.

 

"I'm not judging, I was just..doubting your story because it doesn't make sense, and you get caught red-handedly in a camera."

 

She turns off the screen and gets up while sighing. Her long hair has been a mess so she fixed it quickly staring at him who's slightly nervous if she actually gets angry.

 

"I need to drink something, if i'm going to talk about this."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because..you were right, it wasn't a fight."

 

She leaves him and he's following her immediately, she takes one huge bottle of Wine, unopened and a pair of glasses to her mini bar. He takes the glass right away.

 

***

 

"My mom would kill me if she knew I served you this.”

 

“I won’t tell.”

 

He takes his full glass of Wine and drinks it in one shot, so does Yeri who finally settled down to sit in front of him. She doesn’t say anything but watching him in silence, her eyes are so full with questionable emotion that he couldn’t even guess what’s on her mind right now.

 

"If you don't want to tell me anything, then don't. It was a long time ago anyway."

 

He ended up saying it and taking another shot of his drink carefully, Yeri does the same thing and clears before taking a deep breath.

 

"It wasn't a fight."

 

Yeri finally realizes why she can't remember this particular day at the beginning of recalling it. 

 

dr. Yoo always asked her since she was young about the day where she thought her life is out of its usual rotation that she's behaving in a questionable manner, she always said it is because her brother has died, her parents, her brother's girlfriend. When in fact, they've done nothing wrong to her at all. This day was the start of every misery in her life

 

"I went to see those boys the next day, I brought a gift for them, I just want to ask them why they hate me so much.."

 

"Even when you are scared of them?"

 

"How could you know i was scared of them when you just saw it from that video?"

 

Yeri is drinking another glass while laughing because how could Jungkook be so attentives about little things like that.

 

"I used to see it often, your fears."

 

Well, of course. She responded to what he said with one little smile because she doesn't know how to react. He is right, totally.

 

"Anyway, I went to see them, asking them why they were doing that, coming with peace, offering them a gift, and they hit me."

 

Jungkook stopped drinking midway when he found Yeri talking about this calmly, her eyes are wondering but he knows it wasn't a good memory at all.

 

"They hit you?"

 

"It wasn't hard, just you know.. I got bruises here and there but it wasn't that bad."

 

"Did you tell your parents about this?"

 

He has his own imagination about how Mr. Kim will treat those kids. He is always protecting Yeri, her getting hit is probably a trigger for him to act crazy.

 

"I didn't."

 

"Really?"

 

"I knew my dad would be furious, those boys would probably never find any school to attend anymore, their future would be ruined, so i told everyone it was a fight."

 

"Really?"

 

Of course, Yeri back then is totally and completely different from the way she is now. She still remembers how she went to her teachers and decided to protect all her friends instead of reporting them. She knows his father wasn't really familiar with a normal way of dealing with her problem. He'd be too busy to actually deal with it normally, he'll be going straight to ruin their life, not for her sake, just to deal with it faster.

 

"The rest of the story was true though, I was stripped from my talent show winner title, everyone sees me as a villain. And that was when I realized my greatest weapon was my family's money. I started to pay others to become my friends, seeing them as nothing more than just a tool.."

 

She was trying to tell this story in a light mood, with laughter in between, but now that she's thinking about it, that was really a turning point of her life. She became someone that is too messed up for a kid that age.

 

"I think that's why I was on my dad's side when it comes to your sister. When i knew what he was doing, i was like..who cares, go ahead, a love like that is stupid anyway."

 

"I agree. That was stupid."

 

He's clashing his glass to hers and drinking one more shot of wine, his tolerance is always good and he doesn't seem drunk yet while Yeri is already feeling tipsy over a few glasses.

 

"Except it is not, they'd be laughing at you knowing that you almost died to save my life."

 

She can't help but to find Jungkook who's agreeing with her and changed his mind almost immediately is endearing, he nods his head and tells her that she was right while smiling.

 

Yeri no longer says anything and pour another glass for her to drink, the bottle is almost empty now. She stares at Jungkook and he does the same thing too, falling into a silent mode while keep drinking.

 

"I wish I could do this everyday."

 

Yeri is the first one who breaks their silence, she talks while eyes are still focusing on him.

 

"Watching old videos of you and your brother?"

 

"Talking to you about my past and watching you all night."

 

It is the truth, Yeri feels happy and less stressed while talking to him, even when the topic of their conversation was heavy, she doesn't feel as bad as a few weeks ago when she spent her time without him.

 

“I can do this everyday.”

 

She laughs hearing how confident and funny Jungkook is, he acted like this is not a big deal, while for her..

 

“You have your own life, you said it yourself, you are worthy more than just being my boyfriend.”

 

Jungkook seems surprised that she brought up what he said to her yesterday, he stopped after drinking all the wine on his glass and unlike before, he’s not pouring another shot to his glass, he stopped.

 

"Let's buy a place together and live there."

 

"I don't want to live with you."

 

"That is insulting."

 

Yeri is still laughing at him, even when he's glaring at her for what she said.

 

"I can already imagine all the arguments and fights I need to go through from living with you. Even my parents were tired of me and I do get tired dealing with them too.."

 

He became quiet after that, he knows what Yeri means, they're both far from nice and kind , if one of them gets angry, it'll just lead into things worse than just an argument. They will say things that are borderline hurting. He already tried to not get bothered by it, but there were times when he wished Yeri or himself would stop from behaving like that.

 

"I know, we're doing so much better compared to before. But it is because you are the one who's fine.. I need more time, you saw me how I tried to run away from you before at the cottage and also what i said to you last night."

 

"Well, you did that because of me too, what i said and what i did."

 

"Exactly."

 

He says nothing when Yeri is sighing and swipes her hair back and gives him a smile after that, she's no longer drinking and her face is already red. She is most likely drunk by now.

 

"Will you marry me, then?"

 

She smiled at him, and nods her head right away.

 

"Of course, I will.. who else is going to take me? The bigger question is, who's going to take you?"

 

"You'd be surprised."

 

Yeri knows that Jungkook has more chances compared to her. In a related topic of this, there was Lea, and she even heard about Mr. Kim's rich colleague's daughter who keeps asking about him. Media or people no longer talk about her, They probably are not aware that this Jungkook is also her boyfriend Jungkook who was on the news last year.

 

The way Yeri poured another drink, and gulped it up in one shot and smiling at him after that is so pretty, it was totally something Jungkook rarely saw from her, that smile.

 

“You really need to know that I'm not forcing you into anything. If you wanted to leave.. Then do it. I don’t want to hold anyone’s back, I already see what happened to my brother, that kind of love, that kind of guilt, I don't want the same thing.”

 

She gets up after taking a deep breath and tilting her head. She probably noticed that she started to get drunk. He does nothing when she cleans it up his glass, puts the rest of the wine back into the fridge, washing her hands and back to him with another smile.

 

“I’m getting tired. Are you going to stay up?”

 

She asked him but he can’t find a suitable word to say to her, she seems confused that he is not answering and walking closer to him while staring at his face, she looked worried as usual. She’s trying to touch his face, probably to make sure if he has a fever or not but he stopped her hands.

 

“Why?”

 

Yeri honestly feels somehow offended when Jungkook refuses her touch, maybe because she is tired or drunk but what is so wrong with her being worried? 

He ignores her question and goes back to holding her hands. Caressing it and suddenly landing one deep kiss on it. He has never done that before.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

She asked him because this is a new thing even for her. He looked so delicate and soft but also worrisome.

 

"I..think i already passed that."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"That kind of love. The one your brother had, i think what i have for you right now is already so much more than that. You are in trouble."

 

Jungkook tried to sutters his last words with a little laugh but he failed to do that because Yeri's expression suddenly became serious.

 

"I know you thought that I was doing things for you. But i actually depend on you as much as you are , probably more."

 

He's been hiding it from her because he has his pride and he also doesn't want to burden her but that is the truth. He is already crazily , stupidly in love with her to the point there is no way back for him to his life without her.

 

He lifted his face to Yeri and when he saw her wiping her tears, he felt bad right away. Maybe it is true that she is burdened and scared over what he just said.

 

"I was just saying it.."

 

He still has not finished his words when Yeri tilts his head and gives him one kiss while crying. She does it for a few more times. The reflection he is doing is to pull her into her lap hugging her tight and bring her body closer to him. 

 

"I love you."

 

That's what she said when she finally stops kissing him and gives him a smile. Her hands are on his face, rubbing it slowly and she actually looked so happy, not burdened or anything.

 

"I know."

 

Jungkook is back to teasing her when he said that, he looked even more handsome to her eyes after he told her something that is beyond her imagination. No one ever depended on her, no one ever saw her as something significant in their life except him.

 

"And I want you to always be happy, sincerely."

 

"I know."

 

He gives her another kiss as he takes her closer and hugs her.

 

"Even when i'm not in the picture.. i want you to be happy "

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"I want you to be happy with or without me. Your sister has no chance to tell my brother, that is why he thinks he deserved to die."

 

Yeri is touching his lips while staring at his eyes deeply. She plays with his messy hair and lifts her face higher to kiss his forehead.

 

"I don't want you to think like that, I want you to know that wherever I am, the only thing I always want is for you to be happy. Not hurting, not dying, not crying.."

 

"Stop making me scared."

 

Jungkook is suddenly worried over the things Yeri said because it feels like she talked about her leaving.

 

"We're not mortal. That's only realistic, what I said."

 

"I know, but can you not talk about that after you kissed me while I'm hugging you like this, this is not the talk I expected."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

Yeri covers her face and laughs before linking her arms on his shoulder and her eyes are totally luring him into doing something.

 

"No, i'm not sleeping with you."

 

That's what he told her that she lost her smile right away.

 

"Did I ask?"

 

Her face is getting red and he feels bad for teasing her like that.

 

"I mean.. you are drunk, it's 3 am and you looked so tired.."

 

He got no response from Yeri , the only thing she is doing is trying to get up and leave him but he pulled her back to his lap quickly.

 

"That would be the first thing I do in the morning though."

 

" I wanted to do it a few hours ago when you showed up on my door but not anymore."

 

"We'll see about that, the thing you need is sleep now."

 

Yeri knows that she is light in weight compared to Jungkook's strength but the fact that he can carry her like she is a kid is still amazing. He was a patient till yesterday. She found this ridiculous and funny so she laughed at him while heis struggling to open her room because his hands were on her back, supporting her that she isn't falling.

 

"Can you open the door? If I try, you'll fall."

 

He ended up asking for her help because he failed to do that. 

 

"Promise me that you would stay with me until I fall asleep, while I'm sleeping and when I wake up tomorrow."

 

"Then you should've said yes when i asked you to marry me."

 

Jungkook is able to open the door by himself without help, he tells Yeri to get down and sleep but instead of laying down, she sits on the edge of her bed and looks at him while shaking her head lightly.

 

"I don't want to become someone's wife when I'm still broken, I don't want to become a mom when I have my own struggles and have no idea how to handle it. I hope you understand that.."

 

"I know, why are you so serious about it.."

 

He has no idea why Yeri is thinking that he is serious about what he said. He caressed her hair because she looked worried and told her to lay down and sleep, she’s still not doing it that's why he forced her to do that and lay with her, holding her tight and telling her to close her eyes.

 

"Don't think about it, i also don't want my kids to see me bickering and arguing with you like we're in a world war III..and our life is depend on it"

 

Yeri is sighing and finally hugging him back while putting her head on his chest, she starts to close her eyes while patting his back slowly.

 

"You know how insecure i am. There are girls eyeing you as a husband, whether it's because of your looks or your money, and I feel lacking compared to them."

 

"I never showed up in their nightmare, I never put their life in a danger.. You are the only one who chose to stay, Kim Yeri. The only one."

 

Yeri is opening her eyes again after heating that. It is actually very nice to hear that. Her heart is becoming light.

 

"Sometimes, I don't know who I need to thank for having you in my life.. i thought it was my brother, but maybe my dad, or your sister, or.."

 

"You. You should thank yourself. I'm here because of you."

 

She has no words that are even more beautiful and reassuring than his, so she can only gives him a smile, hugging him tighter and closing her eyes. 

 

The universe brings him to her. He is the answer to all her wishes, She only had a tiny hope for finding happiness in her messed up life, but Jungkook came and multiplied her hopes by millions.

 

She gets lucky.

 

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