“I’ve been thinking about how I feel about you for a while. Ah, no.” He shakes his head. “I’ve long been interested in you. From the moment I saw you during the entrance ceremony all the way back freshmen year, I tried to stay at the side so I can just observe you. I avoided attracting too much of your attention because I can’t work up the courage to approach you myself. I knew Kwang and Joon were friends, and you know them both, so I had to do and make up excuses when Joon wants to talk to the both of you and I’m nearby.”

Donghae glances over at Hyukjae, knowing full well he was running his mouth with whatever it was that he had been doing for the last four years. Hyukjae was stunned, as he had expected. However, he kept his eyes on Donghae’s face, blinking every few seconds. It eggs Donghae to go on,

“I’m saying a lot, I know.” He pouts. “And I’m sorry if I’m dumping too much onto you right now, Hyukjae. But I really have been wanting to tell you all of this for some time already.” Donghae takes a deep breath again, gathering whatever ounce of courage he could. “When I realized how I had to get in touch with you for the festival, I didn’t know if I wanted to get excited because I would finally be able to talk to you, or panic and then cry my tear-ducts out because I was so nervous. I didn’t think I would be able to take seeing your pretty smile up close, and then back at the game during the event.” Donghae paused to lift his wrist with the identical bracelet that Hyukjae was wearing.

“You were the first person that came into my mind when I saw these prizes. I didn’t really know it was given in twos, I only thought that that bracelet would fit you.” He gives an embarrassed laugh, scratching lightly at his face.

“I know I’m making a huge decision, heck, I don’t even know if I’m in your preference, Hyukjae.” Donghae puts down his hand, smiling so softly at Hyukjae that the other wonders how many times he had thought that the other smiling was very pleasing to the eyes— especially if it was directed to him and him alone.

“You don’t have to say accept or reject me immediately, all I wanted to know is you’d at least consider me.” He pauses again, his lips which he didn’t know when went dry. “If you’re feeling uncertain, I’m willing to do what I can to win you over.”

Hyukjae finally moved, waving his hands about in a dismissive manner. He knows that look in Donghae’s eyes, even if he sounds determined, the other is very anxious and almost dejected already.

“Donghae.” He says firmly. “You don’t need to do that.”

He felt than saw way quicker how the courage seemed to leave the body of the boy in front of him. “Wait no you’re getting it wrong!!” He hurriedly exclaims after, grabbing the other’s wrist, he tried to catch Donghae’s eyes, moving his head and even his body each time Donghae moves his eyes away. “Stop moving.” Hyukjae complains, moving his hands to grab at his shoulders instead. “I am not rejecting you, Donghae!” He says in a slightly louder voice. “I… at least let me think about it? I’m not disgusted by your confession, okay? I’m saying this so you won’t get any more wrong ideas.” Seeing that his friend had stopped putting up a fuss, Hyukjae took a step back and removed his hands from the other’s shoulders.

“If you think I’ll leave you behind get mad, or avoid you just because you feel that way, I will smack your head.” He threatens in a soft tone, still looking at the crown of Donghae’s head who was too embarrassed to keep his head up. When he noticed that the younger perked up a bit from what he said, a smile found its way to his lips. Donghae still hadn’t looked up, Hyukjae blinks at him with his eyebrows furrowed, but if Donghae still feels uncomfortable, then he won’t force him.

“I just want to think about it, you too. You should think about it.” Hyukjae says, back to the earlier distance with the other. Donghae looked up then, “are you saying I should think about what I feel?”

Hyukjae shakes his head. “Donghae, that’s not what I mean. What I want you to remember is… people around us. Have you forgotten what’s going on around us? Our place isn’t exactly… friendly… about these types of things.” He says, he remembers something that happened in his house, making him shake his head.

“I just don’t want you to make a step you’ll regret. I won’t go away from you, okay?” Hyukjae reassures him, finally meeting Donghae’s eyes ever since this whole thing started.

Donghae frowns, but he has no choice but to nod.

“Think about it, and let’s talk about this again let’s say… after a week?” He nods again, saying nothing, but he peeks up from his bangs since he remembers that they will take their college exam soon. “We’re still… going places and studying together, right?”

Hyukjae smiles. “We are. Nothing will change, Donghae.” He says in a voice so soft that if Donghae weren’t looking, he’d think he imagined it. “I just want you to be sure, when you thought about it through, tell me. Okay?”

Donghae nods again, well, if Hyukjae wants him to re-think then he will, even though he doubts that he’ll change his mind.

Mind still reeling about things that he wants Hyukjae to know, but can’t find the exact words to let the boy beside him, Donghae finds himself finally at the junction at the end of the street, and just like the times they walked home together, he wishes they didn’t have to walk away from each other so soon.

It has been a week, and Hyukjae has told him to walk home after school. Donghae was almost visibly vibrating with nervousness. So much so that his friend had stared at him with a weird look on his face.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I’m completely normal. What are you talking about?”

The four of them aren’t meeting that day, one having to go to pick up their younger sibling, so by the time the last bell had rung, Donghae went straight to the gate where he saw Hyukjae already waiting for him.

When Hyukjae met his eyes, he smiled that beautiful smile of his that had Donghae’s heart beating faster than after running to the gate.

He’s sure now.

“Let’s go.” Hyukjae urges, stepping away from the gate and heading the other way from their usual road. Donghae blinks but follows with a confused face anyway.

“Where are we going?”

“To talk.” It was all Hyukjae said to him, looking back at him with a small smile.

They ended up in an empty children’s playground, Hyukjae went and sat on top of the small slide, his now-sock clad feet dangling at the small gap between the protective bar and the flooring. Donghae looks at his face before setting on the bottom of the slide. “What are we going to start our talk with?”

Hyukjae chuckles. “Have you thought things through?” He asks instead.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“And nothing’s changed, Hyukjae.” Donghae met his eyes, lips in a straight line. “I know you’re worried, because almost everyone here is against those types of relationships, or people like me in general, but would I really put my happiness on the line just to avoid them?”

At the end of his rambling, Donghae looked up again from where he was looking at Hyukjae’s hands wrapped around the railing bars to find the other smiling.

“We have to keep things on the low, though.”