"You look so deep in thoughts", a voice speaks next to me. I raised my head to see Namjoon standing next to me as he walks along. "Is it about Pearl?" He added.

"Stop reading my mind", I said to Namjoon. "You know, all of us know how you feel towards her," he said. His eyes are fixed on the others who are talking, very loudly in front of us. "It's no use if you hide it from us. We know you for so long" He patted on my back.

Maybe because I do like her a lot, but didn't want to destroy my friendship with her that I ended up in the spot I'm currently in. It's frustrating, I feel like as if something is throbbing in my chest, making it hard to breath.

"The others know?"

"They do," Namjoon replied. "Suga even talked about it with me before. He was frustrated at the fact that you didn't confess to her. You should see how frustrated he was while chewing on his food" He laughed as he remembered the scenario playing in his head.

"It breaks my heart," I softly muttered. "I always have this scenario in my head, but I didn't expect it would hurt more than what I've expected"

"I'm a coward" I added, angry at myself for not being able to be courageous. Namjoon patted me on the back before wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Let's go get something nice for dinner. Good food cheer us up most of the time" he smiles as he dragged me towards the others.

Good food does cheer us up, but it would be nicer to have Pearl around.

—

"How long has you been around with that guy?" Hyungsik asked me when I was sipping my mango smoothie. We are at a nearby cafe, the interior design is very minimalistic and simple, definitely one of the styles that I love. Looking at my boyfriend who is sitting across me at the table, I replied, "Since we were ten".

"So, you're really close with him?" He took a sip of his iced americano, not sparing me a glance when he threw that question towards my direction. "Yeah, very. You could see we are kind of inseparable"

"I could see that. I've been watching you for so long, anyway" He nodded his head before cutting the cake in front of him into a small piece before putting it into his mouth.

"I kinda dislike that there's someone as good-looking as him to be around you, and very close at that" he confessed. Raising my eyebrows, i questioned, "you don't like him around me?"

"Well," he trailed off. "Who wouldn't? Everyone thought that he's your boyfriend" he added.

"Hyungsik, he's my close friend. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable that he's around me most of the time. But we are like family." I leaned in. "Don't worry, okay?"

He stares at me, before letting out a soft sigh. "Okay, I won't" he replied.

"Do you like your cake?" He asked, eyeing the cake that i've eaten. "Oh yeah! It's delicious. Not too sweet, not too bland" I took out my phone to scroll through the pictures of the cake that I took. Finding the best one among the other pictures, I showed it to him.

"This is pretty! You take good pictures!" He said as he takes the phone in his hand, looking at the picture. For a moment, I could catch a glimpse of Taehyung instead of Hyungsik, and that really caught me off guard.

Taehyung has always been my companion for cakes and cafes. Not having him as my companion for the first time feels really weird. 'I miss him', i thought to myself.

We spent the rest of the evening talking about various of things, taking pictures of each other and getting to know each other better.

Hyungsik offered to walk me home, and I accepted his offer.

"I'm going to have a lot of things to do tomorrow, it's a bummer" he complained about the endless assignments that he has to do. I laughed at him pouting his lips. "You can do this! Don't worry too much" I gave him my encouragement.

While I was talking, he stopped talking and stares at me as I talk. And the next moment I know, I could feel my hand is being hold by none other than Hyungsik's hand.

Looking at him shocked, he quickly looked away, his hand is still holding into mine. "I've been wanting to do this" he said, shyly.

I blinked my eyes, slowly looking away. Not knowing what to say or how to react, I could feel my heart beats faster inside my chest. "Your hand is warm" he said.

"Ah— yours too" i replied out of nervousness. In my head, I was laughing at my awkward reply.

We slowly get something to talk about while we are on our way and as soon as we reached my house, I saw a familiar figure standing in front of my house. Wearing baggy pants and a loose shirt, he's staring at us who's walking towards the house.

"Taehyung!" I called out his name. For a moment, I could feel Hyungsik tightly clenching my hand in his. Taehyung's frown quickly turned into a smile when I called him.

"What are you doing here?" I smile, looking at him. "My mom asked me to give the food she cooked for our dinner," he answered, giving Hyungsik a glance before turning to look at me again. "She was out for work so she asked us to eat dinner together" he smiles.

"Hey there. You must be Taehyung" Hyungsik started to talk to him. Taehyung turned his head to look at Hyungsik. "Yeah, nice to meet you" He smile, but half-heartedly. He really doesn't like him.

"Hi, I'm Hyungsik; Pearl's boyfriend" He introduced himself, but not getting any obvious reaction from Taehyung. Taehyung just slightly bows down his head.

Hyungsik nodding his head, looking at me afterwards. "I'm going now. See you tomorrow okay?" 

"See you tomorrow too" I smile at him. He finally let go of my hand and patted my head. "I'll call later tonight" He smile before walking down the street.

I turned my head at Taehyung, "let's get dinner prepared! I'm hungry" I said and opened the gate, letting myself in before Taehyung. When realising Taehyung is still standing at the gate, I stopped in my track. "Tae! Come on!" I smile and get into the house.

—

The moment my eyes laid on Pearl and her boyfriend, I could feel my heart dropped a bit, I could feel something stings inside.

When they slowly made their way towards me, they were holding hands. To be able to witnessed that kind of hurts. Letting out a sigh, I thought to myself that this is the consequences of not being brave enough to tell my true feelings.

I should have prepared myself when I chose the decision that I made, I should have know that it's gonna hurts. But I still could feel the impact on me, it feels like it's crushing me inside.

"Tae, why are you quiet?" Pearl asked when she came into the kitchen. In her pjs, she's drying her hair with the peach coloured head towel, she sit across me at the dinner table.

"I was thinking about my assignments," I lied. "Should we eat now?" I smile at her. She nodded her head cutely.

I prepared the food that my mom has packed nicely for us, put it onto the plate and served it on the table.

"This looks delicious!" She exclaimed in excitement. Looking at her made me smile. "This is so good!" She said after putting a spoonful into . She has always loves my mom's spaghetti. I could say she's a little bit obsessed with it.

"How's your day?" I asked her after getting myself some of my mom's home cooked food. "It's good. I went to the cafe that i've always wanted to go"

"The minimalistic one?"

"Yeah, that one! It's so pretty and the food and drinks are so good, too!" She exclaimed. She took out her phone, scrolling through her phone, she showed me the picture that she took.

"Look at the cake! It's appetizing, right?"

"It is!"

"You could go through the pictures. I took plenty of them!" She said, not taking her eyes off the spaghetti in front of her.

I nodded, scrolling through the pictures that she took. "You took really good pictures" I complimented her. As I was scrolling, I found a picture of her posing by the table, she looked so pretty.

I stopped at the picture and stare at it without wanting to make it obvious. Admiring her features, I couldn't help but to think to myself how pretty she looks in the picture.

'That guy must be the one taking this', I thought to myself. After staring at it for quite a while, I returned the phone back at her.

"Let's watch the tv after this!" She said when she's done with her dinner. "I'm going to do my assignments" i replied, making my way to the sink.

"Aw. Then you can accompany me at the living room as you are doing the assignments!" She stands next to me, looking at me with those puppy eyes of hers. Since when did she knows how to look at me like that?

I exhaled. "Fine", I said and she was jumping on her feet when she heard my reply. "I'll do the dishes!" She said, putting the gloves on and started washing the dishes.

When we were done cleaning, we went to the living room to spend our time together. Taking out my laptop and put it on the table in the living room, I started doing my assignments. She was sitting at the couch as she watches her favourite drama series.

After several hours have passed, I stretched out my arms in exhaustion. "Pearl, do you guys have cold water—" I turned to look at her when I found her sleeping peacefully on the couch.

"She must be really tired", I mumbled to myself. Getting up from the floor, I went to her room to get a blanket and tucked her under it. Walking to the kitchen, I got myself a cup of warm water instead.

I sat down on the floor at the table and was planning to continue my works but stopped when my eyes laid down on her sleeping face.

Silently staring at her sleeping face, I'm admiring her charming visual. Her eyelashes are long and curly, her wavy hair gently fell down on her face, her skin is glowing flawless. All the amazing features, and she still couldn't see how pretty she is.

Softly and gently tucking her hair behind her ear, I smile.

I let out a soft sigh. All these time I thought I could stop anyone from coming close to her, taking her away from me because of how close we are, and how intimidating my looks is. In my heart, there's a slight regret that I couldn't erase.

"I wish you were mine"

—

a/n: leaving a tiny note here! My laptop is broken :') so i'm writing this on my phone now :') but still, I hope you guys enjoy reading it and i'm sorry for the poor writing skills. Thank you for reading!