As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Aera looking at me from the rearview mirror. We exchanged a quick glance before she finally looked away. I wasn’t sure though, but I think she smiled when she did.

“We’re here.” Onew blurted breaking the moment I just had with Aera.

What was that all about? Was it real or a figment of my imagination?

“Oh. You’ve got a beautiful house, Onew.” Aera said in surprise. Onew’s house was huge. He is actually pretty rich. His father owns a very successful company here in Seoul.

“Thank you though I just have this house because of my parents’ hardwork.” Onew said before we all went out of his car.

I was still silent after that ‘moment’. I haven’t said a single word.

“Let’s go inside.” Onew said and then Aera and I followed him towards the front doorstep. “My parents aren’t here yet so I’ll just introduce you when they arrive home.” Onew said to Aera.

“Okay.” Aera said eyeing the interior of Onew’s house. “I love how simple but elegant the interiors are. I wish I could design something like this in the future.” She added still wowed by everything she was seeing.

I can’t help but look at her.

“You’re taking interior design?” Onew asked.

“Yep. I love the idea of making a house feel like a home. I want to design something that you would always look forward to being in. I know it sounds weird but you know what I mean.” Aera explained.

I completely agree with her. It’s the same thing with how I feel when I stay in the basement. It’s like a sanctuary for me. It’s where I feel completely safe and worry free. Like, I don’t have to care about anything in the world. It’s just me inside my room minding my own business.

“It’s not weird at all. I hope you do build something like this in the future. Right, Jonghyun?” Onew said. Why does he always have to include me when he says something? Oh right, that’s just how he is.

“Y…yeah.” I agreed. Of course.

“Thank you.” Aera said gratefully. She looked very happy. And I liked every bit of it. There was just something behind her smile that makes me feel at peace.

“Well, here we are.” Onew said as soon as we got to his room. “Let’s play some videogames.” He added excitedly.

…

 

Aera won in almost every game we played. Onew and I couldn’t believe our eyes. We were obviously both in shock. Not so many girls can play this well.

“Were you a guy in your past life, Aera?” Onew said while watching Aera play. Aera laughed at his question.

“You’ve never seen a girl play videogames before?” Aera asked giggling a bit. It was adorable. ing adorable.

“I’ve seen girls play but not like this. You are too good. Better than us even! Don’t you think so, Jonghyun?” Onew said loudly.

I just nodded.

I see Aera look at me after. Why was she looking? Please don’t look at me.

I shyly looked away.

She just smiled.

Again.

“I’m a bit thirsty, Onew.” Aera said pausing the game she was playing.

“Oh, I forgot to get drinks. You guys wait here.” Onew said standing up quickly and getting out of the room.

I was left with Aera alone.

Alone.

.

What should I say? Should I even say something?

“You wanna play? My eyes feel tired.” Aera said handing me the controller. I looked at her for a second before I grabbed the controller from her.

“Uhh sure.” I said resuming the game. Aera just watched while I played. She would check her phone occasionally but will continue to watch me play after she does.

I felt so awkward. I was sweating in nervousness.

My heart was beating fast.

I’m just nervous.

Just nervous.

“You like videogames, Jonghyun?” She suddenly asked.

Where’s Onew when I need him? What is taking him so long anyway? He’s just getting some drinks. This feels like forever! Ugh.

“Yeah.” I answered as relaxed as possible.

“You okay? You’re sweating.” Aera said making me sweat more.

I paused the game. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“I’m fine.” I said firmly.

Her expression changed as soon I said that. I wasn’t mad. It just went out like that. I didn’t mean to sound mad.

.

“I’m sorry.” She said frowning.

. What the did I do? I must do something. I must say something.

I took a breath. A deep one.

“S…sorry. I’m just not used to hanging out with other people. Especially girls.” I said honestly. Her expression changed again as soon as I did.

“I know. It’s too obvious.” She said carefully. I think she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. “You don’t have to feel nervous around me.” She added.

But how can I not feel nervous? She’s too perfect. The total opposite of me.

“I…I can’t help it.” I blurted out. . I sounded like I was trying to say something else.

Aera didn’t say anything. She just looked at me.

I was sweating more and more and more.

I can’t stop sweating when she looks at me. Not like that.

I gotta say something so she would stop.

“A…aera. I…” I tried to say but she cuts me off by moving closer towards me.

What was she doing? Oh my God.

“I’ve always been curious about this tattoo of yours.” She said pulling the back part of my collar exposing the hidden tattoo on my nape.

I relaxed a bit knowing she wasn’t planning to do anything ual.

“Oh that. It’s my dad’s birthday.” I answered.

I had my dad’s birthday tattooed on my nape in roman numerals.

Aera went back to where she was sitting before.

Finally, she’s not too close.

I was finally relaxed. I stopped sweating.

She wasn’t asking any follow up questions though. I really thought she was going to.

“You’re not going to ask why?” I blurted.

I can’t believe I said that. Maybe I wanted her to ask. Maybe I want to open up a bit and come out of my shell.

“You might get upset again if I ask. But if you want to tell me, I would love to know.” She said smiling a little. She definitely wanted to ask but she was trying to be careful around me because I think she already knows I’m a very private person.

“My dad…umm.” My voice cracked when I said the word dad. “My dad died last year of cancer. Having his birthday tattooed reminds me that even though he didn’t live long he still lived a happy life.” I said with a heavy heart. I don’t like talking about my dad, so I was very surprised I was able to tell Aera these things.

“I’m sorry about your dad.” She said under her breath.

“It’s okay.” I said gently touching my nape where my tattoo was located.

It still hurts after a year. A year is a long time, but I still feel like my dad just died. It still hurts so much, and I don’t know how long I can endure this sadness. I always feel sad even if I do things that make me happy.

During my short reflection, a sudden touch made me forget about how I was feeling. The sadness lingered away slowly.

Aera tousled my hair gently without saying a word.

I looked at her while she still had her hand on my head. She just smiled.

I felt peace.

Aera makes me feel at peace.

“Come on. Let’s continue playing.” She said as soon she removed her hand from my hair.

Onew came right in as soon as we resumed playing.

“Sorry it took long. I decided to make us milkshakes. I hope you like cookies and cream, Aera. It’s Jonghyun’s favorite.” Onew said.

“Really? It’s my favorite too.” Aera said happily.

I see we have something in common.

That made me happy.

For the first time, something simple as that made me happy.

…

 

Onew offered me and Aera a ride home after 3 hours of playing videogames but Aera insisted it was okay for her to use public transportation. I didn’t want Aera to think I can’t go home on my own so I insisted I’ll go home by bus as well.

“You should rest. You’ve already done enough. Thank you so much for letting me hang out with you two. I had fun.” Aera said with a big smile on her face.

“We’ll hang out again next time.” Onew said. “Anyway, you guys should go. It’s getting late.” Onew added before we said our goodbyes.

I was left with Aera again.

We both didn’t say a word while we walked to the bus stop.

We were going to go our separate ways from there.

When we got there, we were both still quiet.

It was so quiet it was getting awkward.

Someone has got to say something.

This silence is going to drive me crazy.

I cleared my throat and immediately got Aera’s attention. She just looked at me and smiled a bit. What am I supposed to say now?

Maybe I should just open my mouth and say something.

But before I could do so. She was the first one to speak.

“Oh. My bus is here.” She said as soon as she saw the bus approaching.

“Oh.” That was the only thing I could say.

I’m such a loser.

“I’ll see you around the campus, Jonghyun. Thanks again for today.” Aera said as soon as the bus stopped in front of us. She stepped inside and then sat on the vacant seat by the window. We just exchanged glances during the whole time and as soon as the bus drove away, she waved goodbye.

I smiled.

A few seconds later my phone sounded and I find a text from Aera.

“I like when you smile. You should do it often. Get home safely, Jonghyun.”

There’s just really something about her.

The spark when we first met wasn’t something I just imagined.

It was real.

And I’m about to find out.