Chirping birds and ray of sunlight shining through the small window inside my room? Morning again. And that means school again.

I sighed.

 I particularly do not hate school because it’s a way for me to get away from home. I don’t like staying home ever since my dad died of cancer and my mother remarried another man whose previous wife also died. It was never okay for me, but I had to bear with it because it’s what my mother wanted.

Knock knock

“Come in.” I answered hearing the sound coming from the door.

It was my mother.

“I just wanted to check if you were awake. I don’t want you to be late again.” She said looking worried as always.

“I’m up. Don’t worry about me.” I saw her sigh in frustration after I answered.

“Look Jonghyun, I know how you feel. He can never be replaced but Hanjae makes me happy. I hope you can give him a chance.” Here she goes again.

“I’m trying mom.” I said firmly.

“Try harder. Please. I just want us to be happy.” She said before leaving my room.

Ugh. Happiness. How can I be happy with this situation? Why can’t she just understand that it’s hard for me to accept that she remarried? Hanjae is a hardworking man, yes but I just don’t understand and don’t know how to accept him.

“Jonghyun! Breakast time!” I heard my mom shout from upstairs. My room is located on the basement because I love how I only have two small windows and most of the time it’s dark in here.

“I’m coming, mom!” I shouted back and hurriedly put on some clothes then went upstairs to have breakfast and exchange fake smiles with my step dad.

Aish. I can’t wait to get out of this hellhole and have a place of my own.

…

 

“Jonghyun!” Someone shouted behind me as soon as I entered the university grounds.

 That voice is familiar.

Achoo!

“Oh, you feeling okay now?” I said as soon as saw my friend Onew who just sneezed loudly in front of me.

“Better.” He answered after wiping his nose. He had a flu and was absent for almost a week. Good thing I didn’t get his virus. My immune system is surprisingly good.

“So, what did you do while I was gone?” he added.

Hmm. What did I do?

“I slept during break hours and sometimes I ate.” I answered. I lied that it was the only thing I did because I did something a bit more than that.

“Did you make any friends?” He asked smirking like a crazy motherer.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked curiously. Does he know anything? . Maybe he knows something. But how could he? He wasn’t here. Why am I nervous? Ugh.

“You did make friends!” He shouted excitedly.

Friends? I don’t even know if I should call her a friend after that encounter. I haven’t even seen her for a week after that surprising small talk inside the canteen.

“I didn’t.” I answered firmly.

“Seriously?” He said sounding frustrated. “I really thought you’d make some new friends.  I was gone for a week for God sake. Oh well, I was really hoping you’d meet someone new, or be interested in some girl or something.”

Aera.

Oh God. Why did I think of her? No. This can’t be happening. I already decided it was never gonna happen. I mean talking to her again is just impossible. In general, talking to anyone new is impossible!  That is just not my thing.

“You know, let’s just go to class and stop talking about me making new friends.” I said to Onew before I walked away.

“Ugh. Fine.” I heard him answer behind me.

…

 

“HeyJonghyun, do you have an extra pen I could borrow?” Onew asked after going through his bag twice.

“Here.” I said handing over my pen. This guy. Why am I friends with him?

“Thank you! You’re a lifesaver.” He said grinning.

“Goodmorning everyone.” Our teacher just entered the room. We’re in an advanced Math Class. I don’t even know why we must take this class when we signed up for a Music related course. They said this was necessary, but I just don’t understand why.

“I hate math.” Onew whispered softly under his breath.

I just chuckled.

I’m not bad at this subject and honestly, I’m actually pretty good at it. My dad has taught me well when he was still alive.

30 minutes has gone by and I can see Onew beside me struggling to keep his eyes open. It was pretty funny. I was about to wake him up when suddenly the classroom door opened.

“I’m sorry I’m late!”

Oh .

“I got lost.”

I got nervous after seeing her enter that door. Why are we in the same class? Oh God.

“It’s good to have you here Ms. Song. Just find a vacant seat and try to keep up with rest of the class.” Our teacher said.

She hasn’t seen me.

She walked fast towards the seat in front of the classroom because majority of the seats there were vacant. No one likes to seat in front during Math class.

“You think she’s pretty?” Onew blurted beside me.

What the .

“What?” I said nervously.

“You think she’s pretty.” Onew said in conclusion.

“Shut up.” I said ending our conversation.

Onew just chuckled and grinned at me.

I took a short peek at Aera. She is indeed pretty. No, she is more than that.

She’s a beauty.

…

 

“Ready to go Jonghyun? I’m hungry!” Onew said as soon as the bell rang.

I was still in shock. The whole time in class I couldn’t concentrate because Aera and I’s initial meeting in the canteen keeps replaying inside my mind. I couldn’t help but look at her during the class. She was too distracting.

“Uh. Sure let’s go.” I answered. Before I did though, I checked if Aera was still on her seat. She wasn’t. She already left. I got a bit disappointed. I was hoping she would see me and we could actually talk again.

Anyway, Onew and I arrived at the canteen shortly after leaving class. We sat on our usual seats while he and I both ate lunch.

“You wanna go somewhere after our last class?” Onew asked while munching on a piece of Kimchi.

“Sure.” I answered. I like going home late because my mom and stepdad would already be sleeping.

“Let’s watch a movie then.” Onew said before we both resumed eating.

My peaceful lunch break though was suddenly disturbed with an unexpected event.

I almost choked on my meal when Aera sat on the seat beside me.

“I hope you don’t mind me sitting here again. Every other table is full.” Aera said while picking up her chopsticks.

Onew just stared at Aera with his jaw almost hanging. After that, he looked at me in curiosity.

“I’m surprised you have a friend with you today.” Aera spoke again.

. She’s talking to me. And Onew’s looking at me obviously knowing that I hid something from him.

“Uh. Yeah. This is Onew.” I said nervously.

“It’s nice to meet you, Onew. I’m Aera. Song Aera.” She said holding up her hand and then shook hands with Onew.

“Nice to meet you too. You’re the girl who arrived late in Advanced Math class, right?” Onew asked. Oh . Now she knows we were there too.

“Yeah. I saw you guys there earlier.” She answered.

She knew I was there the whole time?!

“You like Math, Aera?” Onew asked in curiosity.

This is awkward. I can’t even speak a word in this conversation. I’m too nervous.

“I don’t hate it but I’m not sure if I like it. What about you guys?” She answered chuckling a bit and then she looked at me after.

We exchanged a short glance, but I had to look away immediately. I can’t look at her for too long.

“I hate it.” Onew answered without a doubt,

When I didn’t answer, Aera looked at me again.

“What about you Jonghyun?” She asked.

“I like it a bit.” I answered shyly.

“You like it a bit? You are good at it my friend. Jonghyun’s just shy about it, Aera. He is very good at Math.” Onew said.

“Really?” Aera said smiling.

Ugh. Her smile.

“Really. We’re actually hanging out after our last class. Do you want to come with us, Aera?” Onew said surprisingly. . . Why is he doing this?!

My heart is beating faster than ever while waiting for Aera to answer. I don’t know what I’ll do if she says yes.

“Oh. Sorry but I’m still busy with all the unpacking. I just moved here to Seoul because I’m actually from Busan.” She answered.

I sighed in relief.

I saw Aera glance at me for a little bit.

“Maybe next time.” She added.

Thank God, she’s busy. I’m not ready to converse with her or hang out with her. Not like this.

“Anyway, thanks for allowing me to have lunch with you guys. I gotta go do some stuff. I’ll see you guys around.” She said before standing up from her seat. I didn’t notice she ate fast.

“See you around, Aera. Nice to meet you.” Onew said before he looked at me and cleared his throat.

Oh . Of course I should say something.

“Uh. Bye. See you around.” I said after clearing my throat.

Aera left after that.

I’m miserable! That was the worst and most awkward conversation I’ve had in my entire life.

“Dude. You told me you didn’t make any friends.” Onew said to me while rolling his eyeballs.

“Sorry. I just didn’t think she would talk to me again after we met the first time.” I answered him honestly.

“But seriously dude, she’s got something special right?” Onew said with a big smile. Does he like her?

I just nodded.  I mean, why wouldn’t I?

“Next time, we must definitely invite her to hang out with us.” Onew added before taking the last bite of his meal.

That’s when I realized, I barely touched my food.

Oh God. Why did this happen so suddenly?

Song Aera. What have you done to me?