After such a long day, Joohyun fell asleep pretty soon. Yet, once she woke up the next morning, one of her servants very hurriedly notified her of some alarming news: the Queen Mother had left the vacation palace and returned to the royal court without permission.

Joohyun got up and got dressed right away. Breakfast could wait. She needed to go see her mother immediately, not because she cared about that wicked woman’s wellbeing but because she needed to prevent her from bringing harm to anyone else. Joohyun used to think that she could not possibly hate her mother even more, but she was wrong, especially after finding out about what happened to Concubine Lee’s unborn baby.

Joohyun was initially on her way to the Queen Mother’s residence, but halfway through she changed her mind. That residence had not yet been groomed, so it was not likely that its tenant would be there. Instead, Joohyun thought about where else her mother would rather be. Why would she suddenly return to the royal court? The simplest reason Joohyun could think of was that Jooyoung had fallen into a coma. And of course his mother loved him too much to not rush to his side to check on him at all costs.

Indeed, Joohyun was just a few steps behind her mother when they arrived at Jooyoung’s residence. Joohyun had previously given instructions that nobody was allowed to enter the Prince’s residence, apart from the Queen herself, the Prince’s usual attendants, Moonbyul, as well as the physician and his assistant. Nongyu was also put on the whitelist, only because Joohyun needed to carrying on pretending to be completely oblivious to the role that Nongyu and Yixing played in this assassination attempt. The Queen Mother was not on the list of people who were allowed to visit, and Joohyun had no intention of adding her to it.

When she and her mother were finally face-to-face, Joohyun was stunned to see the way this older lady looked — hardly anything like the woman Joohyun knew. Of course, all the facial features were there, but she looked...dead inside. Her eyes were sullen and sunken and heavy and dim, devoid of all life and energy. Just like the way the sun would dip into the horizon at dusk, but without any of that magnificence and radiance.

Joohyun stared for an extra moment. The look in her mother’s eyes — it was not something alien to the young Queen. She had seen it before, and she could remember exactly where and when. The same look was on Concubine Lee’s face when Joohyeong died. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Joohyun could not believe her eyes. Her mother was heartbroken. Joohyun was sure of it. But that would mean she would have had to have a heart in the first place, and Joohyun was not so sure about that.

“You will not stop me from visiting my son,” said the Queen Mother, taking her chance to pipe up before Joohyun could come to her senses and say anything with her sharp tongue. The older woman sounded very stern and firm even though her voice was quivering, no doubt because of how worried and devastated she was.

Joohyun was thoroughly speechless. In that moment, she was utterly convinced that her mother did have a heart and was capable of love. She did love Jooyoung, in her own twisted way. When Joohyun became cognizant of that, it left her in so much shock that she was unable to say a single word even as she and her mother entered Jooyoung’s bedchamber.

The Queen Mother sat at her son’s bedside, talking to him even though he could not make any response, and she knew that. Again, Joohyun was too dazed to catch the words that were spoken. As she looked on, her mother started to shed tears, which took Joohyun’s amazement to the next level. She could not remember the last time she saw her mother cry. In fact, she started to question if she had ever even seen it before. She shuddered as she concluded that the only ever emotion she had ever seen her mother exhibit was...anger. And now, all of a sudden, her mother was displaying fear and sadness, a novel sight in Joohyun’s eyes.

In the end, it was her mother’s tears that persuaded Joohyun to allow her to stay at court, but only to visit Jooyoung. At all other times she was required to stay in her own residence. Security measures had been strengthened and were going to be closely monitored. Joohyun did not have it in her to deprive a family member of visitation rights, so to speak, because she knew just how torturous it was. She could remember, quite vividly, when her own sister Jooyeon was placed under house arrest in the final hours of her life. Joohyun was not allowed to visit but she broke in anyway. It was one of the worst days of her life. She was so intensely and painfully worried about her sister, yet also not allowed to see her or communicate with her at all — that kind of torment was something that hurt so much even just to think about.

When she lost Jooyeon, she wept alone. This time, the Queen Mother might be the one weeping by herself as her only son was closer to death than ever. Joohyun could understand her mother’s pain, but also sort of hated that there was this kind of emotional solidarity between her and her mother. After all, she did not want to feel connected with her mother in any way.

She made a long rant about it some time after lunch, with Seulgi as her sole audience. She wondered if she made the right choice, having neither once again banished her mother from court nor prohibited her from visiting Jooyoung.

“I can see just how frustrated and torn you are,” said Seulgi after listening attentively, not chipping in until Joohyun announced that she was done for now. “Even if not for what happened to Prince Jooyoung, you would still have been constantly worried that your mother would murder you or something. That’s why you keep wondering if you should have just not given her a chance, if you should have just kicked her out once more.”

“Precisely. It’s all on me; if I don’t make the right choice, it’s over for me and Jooyoung and everyone else I love and care about.”

Seulgi bit back the urge to sigh. Instead, she replied, “did Your Majesty also feel that way when Princess Jooyeon was put on house arrest? That you’re the only one who can save her?”

“Sort of. And I know it isn’t constructive; I know. I really do. I also know you want me to focus on what I can do instead. But I just can’t help it. And not being able to control my worries or dictate the way I think, it only adds to my frustrations.” She rubbed her temples and groaned. “I don’t know. What do you think? About my mother...whether or not she’s sincere and all that. Because what I saw today was really...astonishing, to say the least.”

Seulgi nodded. “She never covered up or pretended to be innocent or wronged whenever she took someone’s life; never played the victim card. If she wanted someone dead, she was never afraid to show it. So if you ask me, I’d say it’s genuine — all the emotions that you said you saw on her face just now that left you so astounded and completely speechless. She might have no qualms with harming other people or even her other children, but Prince Jooyoung, especially in this state, is the one person she would really have absolutely no reason to want to harm.”

“Alright. That makes sense,” Joohyun replied, evidently calmer now. “I still don’t know what I should do with her, though. A part of me wants to take revenge on her — by banning her from seeing Jooyoung like she did with me and my sister back then. But that would be too cruel, right? And that would mean that I am more similar to her than I’d like to be. So I decide to show mercy — but she doesn’t deserve mercy! Oh, goodness, this dilemma is killing me. Poor choice of words, but it’s really one of the worst feelings ever, and I just wish I could get rid of it. Now.”

“Showing mercy and being compassionate would say more about you than it does about her, though,” Seulgi commented. “It’s not like you’re forgiving her. It doesn’t mean that you have pardoned her crimes, or that they have become acceptable or forgivable in any way. You can penalize her in other ways, and you have been doing that, just like with the house arrest decree. When Prince Jooyoung gets better, you could co