While Joohyun did feel a bit better after opening up to Moonbyul, her frustrations were not going to be so easily alleviated. Moonbyul had her own perspective and it was reassuring to hear it, but Joohyun would also have liked to hear another person’s perspective, preferably from someone who was not as familiar with Seulgi. The last time she received sound advice from anyone apart from Moonbyul was Concubine Lee. And so, she invited her ‘stepmother’ over for dinner, to talk about things.

“Concubine Lee,” she began solemnly. “If you love someone, would you keep secrets from them?”

The older woman was not expecting their conversation to go this way, but still, calmly she answered the question. “Sometimes we keep secrets from them because we love them,” she stated. “Better to keep some things to ourselves than to let it become an indelible burden to the ones we love.”

“Have you ever kept secrets from someone you love, then?”

Concubine Lee nodded. “Once. From your father, actually.”

“What was that all about?”

With a deep sigh, she started to explain. “Almost two decades ago, I was pregnant with my second child.”

“Wait!” Joohyun gasped, completely astounded. “You mean to tell me Joohyeong wasn’t your only child?!”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“What?! What happened to this...this half-sibling I never knew of?!”

“Your father was at war at the time, so your mother pretty much held all the regal authority. I could of course anticipate that she would take advantage of this opportunity to harm me, so when I found out that I was with child again, I did not reveal it to anyone. I don’t think she even knew. But she had me drink this...this wine, and it made me infertile. I lost the baby, of course, but beyond that, it has caused me to lose my reproductive ability altogether.”

Joohyun was so astonished that only after a few moments could she bring herself to react. “And you didn’t tell my father about it...all because he was on the battlefield and wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it anyway?”

“Partly. Even if he were in the palace, it’s not as if he’d be able to bring our unborn baby back to life. Let’s not forget why it’s your mother, not me, who became Queen consort in the first place.”

“Oh, I remember. It’s because her clan is full of military leaders, and it was important for the crown to make sure they stayed loyal.”

“That’s precisely why. Even if I had proof that it was her who caused me to become infertile for life, it was not as if your father would have been able to have her charged and convicted. Not unless he wanted to provoke an uprising led by her relatives and their allies,” Concubine Lee explained. “Besides, she was also pregnant at the time. Pregnant with you, actually. So, I’m sure your father wasn’t going to execute your mother along with his own unborn child.”

Joohyun was once again so taken aback that she was speechless. Chills ran down her spine as she thought to herself that she would never find out just how many lives her mother had taken and just how many other gross crimes she had committed. Perhaps indeed ignorance was bliss?

Seeing as Joohyun was still at a loss for words, the older woman went on to say, “so as you can see, there wasn’t really anything your father could’ve done for me. If I were to tell him all about it, it would just have put him in a dilemma between his loved one’s best interests and the country’s stability. Which is not that different from the situation that Your Majesty is currently in. So I trust that you, out of all people, would know just how painful and stressful it is.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that,” Joohyun replied sorrowfully as tears rushed to her eyes. “You’ve lost not just one but both of your children to that vile woman. I don’t know how you find the strength to carry on living each day, or to control the urge to strangle her with your bare hands.”

“The sad truth is that even if I were to take revenge and somehow make an attempt on her life, it would not have benefited me in any way. It wouldn’t have brought my children back to life. I wouldn’t have been able to recover my losses.”

“But killing her would ensure that she could no longer harm you.”

“While that may be true, this ‘safety’ would come at much too high a cost. Back then, I still had to consider the risks. If I were to fail, her family and their forces would not let me and Joohyeong live. And now, I am no longer a threat to her, so she doesn’t have to worry about me, nor do I have to worry about her as much as before. Not worth getting blood on my hands,” she concluded. “And as for you, Your Majesty, who is it that you are thinking about keeping a secret from?”

Joohyun looked down in shame. “Like you, it’s the person I love the most,” she admitted, and then explained her frustrations. Halfway through, she started to shed tears.

“Ah, I see,” replied Concubine Lee, again gently patting the younger woman to soothe her. “Then you must ask yourself, what would you, or Captain Kang, or even Prince Jooyoung, have to gain, if you were to tell her about these intents and plans? If it wouldn’t benefit anyone, why would you say a single word about it? You have to think about the repercussions and consequences if you keep or won’t keep this secret,” she suggested. “I’m keeping in mind that Your Majesty would not actually go ahead and have Princess Nongyu and her guard killed unless there was really no other way. And if it really gets to the point where you would really have to do it because you have no other option, perhaps Captain Kang would be able to understand.”

“And you’re sure it’s not just you being optimistic here? You really think there’s any chance she might really be able to understand why there are things I might really end up having to do, no matter how much I hate to have to do it?”

“You don’t want her to think of you as a cold-blooded monster or murderer, which is perfectly understandable. But her job is to protect Your Majesty from harm as well — for example, let’s say, someone physically assaults you. Then Captain Kang, as your guard, does her duty and jumps in to protect you. During the fight, she has no choice but to kill your assailant in self-defense. In that case, would it have been something utterly unforgivable?”

The more Joohyun thought about it, the more she wept. When she ended up crying in Concubine Lee’s embrace, she realized that she was frustrated and sad neither just because of what had happened to Jooyoung nor simply because of the burden of having to keep secrets from Seulgi. Above that, it was because she wished she could have a parental figure to consult whenever she needed guidance, but her father was dead and she could never trust her mother. Concubine Lee was the only one she could turn to, and she was both saddened and relieved by this. She expressed as much to the older woman and added croakily, “I do wish you could’ve been my mother instead.”

Concubine Lee smiled warmly and patted her stepdaughter’s head. “I also sometimes think about my unborn child and what if it was a daughter. Perhaps she’d be just like you: lovely and clever and willing to fight for what she believes is right.”

“I wouldn’t mind being the daughter you never had,” Joohyun offered heartily, sniffling as she tried to shoo her tears away.

“I would love that too,” said Concubine Lee. “We’ve had too many family members taken from us. We must support and protect each other.”

Joohyun nodded. “Definitely.”

Under Seulgi’s supervision, the dance auditions went well. She was also a guest judge and participated in the strict selection process. Fortunately, Sunmi was among the dancers who passed.

“Congratulations,” said Seulgi when she and Sunmi chatted in private afterward. “You passed by your own merit and didn’t have to rely on bribes.”

“Well, it wasn’t like anyone was willing to accept my bribe anyway,” Sunmi replied wryly. “But thank you, Captain Kang, for believing in me and for giving me the encouragement I needed. I think that was why I