Taemin smiled, impressed when a car slowly stopped in front of his driveway and the windows rolled down, revealing Jonghyun, grinning as he gestured for him to get in.

Taemin got inside the backseat, spotting Jinki fixing the rearview mirror and then fix his hair in the reflection. 

It was their first day of third year and all three of them had gotten their driving license over the summer. Jinki had worked part-time over the holidays to fix up his brother’s old car and Jonghyun, instead of saving up for his own wheels, had pitched into Jinki’s car. Taemin, on the other hand, had decided to put off his car-plans since he actually wanted to get a bike later on during college instead.

“How the hell did you manage to hitch a ride?” Taemin asked, curious because it would be nearly impossible for Jonghyun to get into Jinki’s car anywhere near their houses, with the still ongoing enmity between their households keeping their relationship still under wraps.

“I took the bus, got off at your stop and he picked me up from there.” Jonghyun explained, “It’s a relief Joon refused to carpool and is driving his grandpa’s car to school. Otherwise, we would have never gotten to do this–” Jonghyun switched on Jinki’s stereo, unleashing a familiar guitar riff.

Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride

“A very apt choice for the first song ever played in my car.” Jinki laughed and Jonghyun winked, settling in his seat, starting to sing.

Taemin laughed as well, singing along.

I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell

“Woah, when did you get your ears pierced?” Taemin, who had rested his head on his desk during the 10-min break between the morning classes, straightened up, finding Woojin occupying the set next to his. It was originally Jonghyun’s seat, who had gone to grab some juice with Jinki from the vending machines.

Taemin had gotten his ears pierced way before he had even started high school and he had just lost the habit of wearing any earrings after having lost a few of them. His hair used to be a bit long so no one must’ve noticed before but now that he had gotten a shorter haircut and had started wearing earrings again, it was the only thing people noticed. Or used as an excuse to ask their next question– if he really was dating Woojin. He knew it would be tedious to explain to everyone so he had just settled for a white lie, which he repeated to Woojin as well, “Over the summer.”

Woojin dragged his chair a little closer, lowering his voice to a whisper, “Lucky. Your guy is again in the same class as you.”

Taemin just cleared his throat and averted his gaze. Minho was indeed in the same class as him but their seating assignment was different this time. Minho was in the last row near the window and Taemin was two seats ahead in the same line, in the second row. As much as he was happy to be in the same class as him, it was too bad that he couldn’t even sneak a glance at him without making it obvious. The only interactionn he could manage to grasp on was to congratulate Minho on being chosen as the soccer team's new captain.

“So… have anything in mind?” Woojin asked, “To set the soccer team captain off?”

Taemin honestly had nothing in mind, “Do you?”

Woojin shifted even closer, their shoulders almost touching and took Taemin’s hand, entwining their fingers, before he whispered, “It’s the little things that cause the most jealousy.”

Jonghyun had returned right then but he just took the empty chair opposite Taemin, noticing but not lingering on the join of Woojin and Taemin’s hands. 

“Is he looking? How is his reaction?” Woojin whispered and Jonghyun casually snuck a glance at Minho before hesitantly shaking his head.

Taemin let go of Woojin’s hand, trying his best to conceal the disappointment spreading in his heart.

Woojin tried his hardest all day long, then the next day and then another. He was being extra chivalrous, visiting him during the breaks, accompanying him to the vending machines, eating lunch at their table every now and then, always walking with him to the library, dropping him off when they changed labs, keeping him company in the extra hour after classes, bringing him chocolates and snacks every now and then. Whenever Minho was around, Woojin would lean closer, whisper into Taemin’s ear that Minho was present, before holding Taemin’s hand or putting his arm around him. 

Taemin wasn’t really comfortable with it all but he let Woojin be, deciding to give this charade more time, his foolish heart wanting to cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, something would affect or change in Minho.

But as days went by, and days turned into weeks and then into months, nothing of that sort happened. Taemin realized he was holding onto a possibility of something that was never going to happen. With every passing day, he couldn’t keep adverse thoughts out of his head, but he kept them at bay, they fought every day, they fought very hard to infiltrate and wreak havoc… but he fought them back very hard as well.

He was holding the border with all his might, with all his heart.

The wall holding it all together didn’t break despite anything and everything that disheartened him… despite how every single day seemed like just another bullet shot into the wall to take it down. 

But it crumbled to dust the moment he saw Minho walk into the cafeteria one day, his arm entangled with someone else. 

The only people in this whole school who have an actual chance are Yuri and me.

Haneul’s words returned to him at that sight and he felt crushed because just seeing this one thing had proved that indeed everything had been for nothing. He had gone against his inhibitions, come so far, changed so much, hoped for so much, to obtain absolutely nothing. He had known it then but he had still yearned for it,  he had strived for it and slowly became blind to the truth he had already known, in the bliss of the process. Whatever he felt was never meant to be. All that he felt was meant to be only crushed. Perhaps, there was a reason it was called a crush in the first place.

“Minho and Yuri?” Someone from the next table had wondered loudly, “Since when were they a thing?”

“Who cares? Don’t they look just perfect together–”

Taemin got up from the table right then, ignoring Jonghyun’s worried call of his name and left because he couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t contain it this time, how mercilessly he felt shot down.

Taemin had spent the rest of the break in the music room, playing his heart out on the piano and had gone home early that day, taking the bus. Both Jinki and Jonghyun had dropped by at his place later that night to check on him. After being let in by his mom, they headed upstairs and Jinki pushed open the door to the balcony of Taemin’s room and stepped out after letting Jonghyun go first. Taemin was sitting against one of the pillars, his books strewn open on the floor, but he was just gazing up at the night sky, looking a little exhausted and dull, wearing headphones, the song he was listening to, faintly leaking into the air.

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark

The song gave away what Taemin was feeling, proving Jonghyun and Jinki’s suspicions right. 

Jinki sat on the ottoman and Jonghyun flopped down beside Taemin, shaking a small bottle of strawberry lemonade in front of his eyes. Finally, Taemin noticed their presence and removed his headphones.

Jonghyun threw the bottle into Taemin’s hands, “It was sitting on your desk.” Taemin turned it around, noticing the post-it on it. It had a very ill-drawn smiley face on it and somehow he couldn’t help but chuckle at it. 

“Could be from Woojin.” Jonghyun shrugged. There was a long pause, infiltrated only by the faint song still coming from Taemin’s headphones, which Jonghyun finally broke, “Taemin… about Minho and Yuri… maybe it’s not what it seems. After you left, Minho was trying to shake her off, they were goofing off and all… maybe it’s just–”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter.” Taemin straightened up, sighing.

“You're saying it again!” Jonghyun exclaimed, a little distraught, “Even if it doesn’t matter, it did affect you.”