FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART (B. In Epilogue)

Requested: Minju's character. Flaws. Fighting.

BASED ON MY COMPLETED FIC: BELNDING IN

Chaewon knocks on the door in front her and when heard the muffled ‘come in’ she twists the knob and opened it only to be greeted by a very stressed looking Minju. They’ve been friends for years, and ever since they graduated college, they are one of the lucky ones that found a job right after a month.

Now, here they are with their own room in one very known publishing company.

“Chaewonnie, this is your room too, you don’t have to knock.” Minju says as she glanced at the new arrival, and continued typing in her computer.

Chaewon just chuckles and walked over to her own table just adjacent to Minju’s. Luck is on their side because both of them got a promotion and the leader somehow came to the decision that they would share an office room.

“Habit, I guess.” Chaewon answers, and looks at the documents that needs approval. Glancing at the girl, she could see how tensed Minju is despite it being a Friday morning, she’s working as if it is her first day at work.

“Do you want to go out?” Chaewon asks, “Later after work?”

Minju stops and looks at Chaewon, and the latter knows that look. She knows that her best friend would make an excuse to not to go. Again.

“I have something to do later.”

Very predictable. Chaewon thought, “When was the last time you really enjoyed yourself, Minju-ah?”

That made the girl stopped in what she’s doing, and Chaewon should have thought about her question. But it’s too late for that one now, it is already out there.

“Last night, when I watched some Netflix.” Minju answers and continues with her work.

They both knew that she was lying.

 

/

 

It is expected of relationships to not be always rainbow and sunshine, sometimes there would be storm, hurricanes, and other unworldly obstacles. So, it would be normal for Hyewon and Minju to have a fight.

“You should’ve told me earlier so that I wouldn’t have wait up.” Hyewon says.

“Well, I never asked for you to wait up, okay?” Minju answered, tiredness laced on her voice wanting the subject to be dropped.

Hyewon stares at her, and she could feel it but she didn’t return it back. She just wants to sleep, all the requirements getting the best of her.

“Okay, sorry. I hope you’re okay.” Hyewon softly says, sincere with her apology and kissing Minju’s forehead as good night.

Then Minju suddenly felt guilty, Hyewon did not deserve that treatment. All the girl did is to worry about her well-being since she’s staying out for too long – blame the requirements and her professors. So, without thought Minju turns over to the side and hugged Hyewon.

She felt the girl lacing their fingers together and drawing circles on the back of her hand as if telling her that she understands, that she’s okay, that everything is okay.

And Minju feels grateful for having someone as understanding as Hyewon. She hugs the girl tighter.

 

/

 

Minju didn’t notice that she’s staring in front of her not until Chaewon touched her, making her jump from her seat.

“I’ve been calling you for the past minute,” Chaewon says, worry evident in her voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Minju nodded, “Just remembered a deadline.” Lies.

“Okay, that could wait. Let’s eat lunch.” Chaewon declares and pulls Minju out of the room.

Minju can’t remember when she started lying to people, not that kind of lie wherein if she were asked if she ate the last cookie and she answered no but it’s very obvious on the remaining crumb on the side of her cheek, not the lies you tell to you teacher that you forgot your homework at home when in reality you just didn’t do it.

The lies that she’s been telling are something along the line that if she’s been asking if she’s okay and she answers yes, yet her heart is torn into pieces when it is very evident in her eyes that no, she’s not okay. The lie that she told earlier to her best friend that she enjoyed watching Netflix last night, when in fact no. She was crying her heart out last night.

Those kinds of lies are nothing new to Minju now, it’s like second nature to her now since that night. But Minju does not have time to dwell about that, because she has her own life to live.

“You have to believe me, come on!”

“I saw it, you don’t have to explain.”

“Hear me out, please.”

Minju is snapped out of her thoughts when she saw a plate in front of her, their orders arrived. How funny, she ordered a pasta and steak.

If memories started flooding her again when she started eating, she didn’t let it bother her. That’s what she thought.

 

//

 

Yujin knocks over to the familiar door in front of her and she was greeted by a smiling man in which she returns.

“Yujinnie!”

“Uncle!” Yujin hugs the man, still strong as ever but she could see the effects of old age.

“Hyewonnie is upstairs,” Uncle Kang said, “Will Kura and Yena come?”

Yujin nodded, “They’ll be here soon.”

And with that, she went to the older girl’s room. She didn’t bother knocking because just as she expected, Hyewon is just there staring out of her window. The older girl turned and nodded at her, but returned to her previous position.

“Hey you,” Yujin greets, “You look like Rose from Titanic.”

“Thanks, heard she’s a beauty.”

“Oh right, I was talking about Rose 80 years later.” Yujin jokes.

“Careful. You’re inside my house.” Hyewon warns, but the playful tone still there.

“Oh, I thought it’s under your parents name.” Yujin retorts.

“Shut up and get out of my room.”

Yujin ignored her and flopped herself at Hyewon’s bed, she looked around the room and nothing much has changed. Sketches when she was still a child are on the wall, pictures of them during their childhood days, the glow in the dark stars that the four of them put on the ceiling because Hyewon had a thing for constellations when she was young.

Nothing much has changed yet nothing stays the same.

Then they heard the door opening, the annoying loud voice of Yena greeting them and Sakura’s loud laugh. It seems like Yena was pooped on by some bird walking to Hyewon’s house.

Hyewon laughs and walks over to her bed, talking to them to catch up. It’s been so long since they last saw her, she decided to go back home after graduation and they didn’t need answers. It was so obvious.

“How are you doing?” Sakura decided to ask, and sometimes Yujin is thankful that the Japanese girl is older than them by a year because that would mean that she would take charge of these kind of things.

The three of them waits for an answer.

Hyewon mustered up a small smile.

“I’ve seen better days.”

That could do. It’s the truth.

“Irene-unnie misses you.” Yujin says, and Hyewon raised an eyebrow.

“Tell her if she’s not too lazy to reply then she wouldn’t have to.”

Then they shared a laugh. Just like what she said, nothing much has changed. Yet nothing stays the same.

Just like how Hyewon’s laugh and smile is not as bright as before.

 

/

 

Minju is just there in her own apartment watching mindlessly whatever she thought of worthy to be watched in Netflix. Then as if life is playing with her, she saw one of the main characters to be a painter – what a joke this is. So, she stopped the movie immediately and resigned to her own room.

Laying down, she stares at the ceiling and suddenly the bed is too big for her – she’s so used to have someone to hug when she sleeps, and now, everything is just too big. Lonely. Minju never thought she’s be lonely, and here she is, feeling lonely.

She tries to sleep it off, turning to her side and she hopes that she’d be staring to those familiar orbs like always. But there were no orbs. She was alone.

And it was cold.

Minju pulls the blanket to her, hoping it would give her warmth that she wants.

 

"Am I not enough?"

“You are! Please, listen to me!”

“Then why did you do that?”

“I didn’t know!”

“Bull! You only had one drink!”

 

Minju wakes up panting and sweating profusely, looking up to see that she’s awake 30 minutes before her alarm. She wants a cold shower.

She lets the water run through her body, then she started to run her hands roughly on her body, wanting to wipe the sweat away, anything. Because it was that damn dream again. Because it feels like she’s burning, like she’s experiencing that event. Again, and again, and again. Minju wants to forget.

She couldn’t.

 

/

 

Minju goes back to their shared apartment, tired from everything and drained from all the papers she needs to pass. All she wanted to do is go and lay back on their bed and have a peaceful sleep.

When she opened the door, she was surprised to see Chaewon, Yujin, Yena, and Sakura – Hyewon in the middle looking bashful. Did she miss something?

“Hey,” She greets them, kissing Hyewon on the cheeks earning a puking sound from Yena. “What are you guys doing here?”

Sakura frowns, glancing at Hyewon. The latter just giving them a smile, and Chaewon’s the one who answered the question.

“Hyewon’s painting is accepted to one of the museums.” Chaewon says.

Minju froze, then she remembered how Hyewon’s is excited to pass her painting – she painted her childhood house, and how Minju said that she wants to visit given that the girl’s parents are always the one who visits them. How could she forget?

Then she turns to look at Hyewon expecting a hurt look, but the latter is not looking at her like that. No hurt. No disappointment. Just a smile. Understanding in her eyes.

But Minju’s disappointed at herself, how could she forget?

And so, forget the bed, she joins the celebration. Laughing even just for a moment, but once the 4 girls went on their way, Hyewon quickly volunteered to clean up – ushering Minju to go to bed.

Minju did, and as soon as her back hit the bed, she could feel the exhaustion catching her then she felt the bed dip.

And she turns around to hug Hyewon, who returned it almost immediately.

“I’m sorry.” Minju says against the girl’s skin.

And Hyewon just gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and smiled.

“It’s alright, I know you have your own baggage to think about.”

Minju frowns and about to protest but Hyewon just kissed her again.

“As long as you’re here, that’s what matters the most.” Hyewon says softly, “Now, go catch your sleep.”

And Minju did, not letting go of Hyewon.

 

//

 

“Hey you.” Sakura says, walking over inside Hyewon’s room with her laptop on hand.

Hyewon looks up to the older girl and nodded, “Knocking would be nice.”

“Sorry, I’m not Chaewon.” Sakura blurts out, and winced.

Hyewon noticed this, hearing the friendly name, she smiles. “How is she?”

Sakura gulps, unsure if she should answer the question.

“You don’t have to avoid talking about Chaewon, I know you guys are close.”

And seeing the reassuring smile from the girl, the Japanese proceeded to answer the question.

“Same old Chaewon being savage. She got a promotion though, in one big publishing company.”

Hyewon smiles, proud of her friend – she still considers Chaewon as a friend, after all she shared good memories with the girl.

“That’s great to hear.”

Silence.

Then Sakura sat down on the bed and opened her laptop, “Do you mind if I do my coding here?”

“Why don’t you do it at your house?” Hyewon rolls her eyes.

“Because I want to annoy you.”

“Consider it done.” And they shared a laugh.

Everything is quiet, save for the constant clacking of Sakura’s keyboard and curses when the program does not run. Glancing at the other girl who seems to be sketching, if she saw a glimpse of a sketch of familiar eyes on the book, she didn’t mention.

If she noticed the opened can of paint and canvas with a silhouette of a girl splattered with black as if wanting to erase it, she didn’t mention.

If she noticed the dried tears on Hyewon’s cheeks, Sakura didn’t mention it.

She just continued with her program, hoping to finish it before the deadline.

 

/

 

MInju feels hurting from all the shouting that she made and it was just 10 in the morning, and that’s the third person she just shouted at. She feels guilty for lashing out on them, but she could not help it.

She then saw Chaewon turning the sign on their door to ‘Do not disturb’ and locking it. The said girl approaches her table and Minju wants to ignore her, but it’s not like she didn’t see this coming.

“Okay, what the hell is your problem?” Chaewon questions frowning at the attitude of her best friend. “I get it that it’s Monday and all, but you don’t have to be a about it.”

“It’s not my fault that they give me unworthy things.” Minju mutters, still not facing the girl.

Chaewon scoffs mockingly at the girl, “Yeah? Then tell that nicely to them, you don’t have to shout and humiliate them.”

“Just do your work, Chaewon.” Minju says not turning.

“Move on Minju.”

And that does it, Minju stops everything and looks at Chaewon – who is not even sorry for what she said.

“You think I’m not moving on?” Minju questions back, “You think I haven’t tried?!”

“Seeing that you’re like this, it seems like you’re not.” Chaewon points out.

“You don’t know what I’m going through.” Minju hissed.

“Right, I don’t know,” Chaewon agrees, “But it’s been so long Minju, you have to move on.”

Minju feels the single tear running down on her cheek and quickly wipes.

“How can I when she left me?”

Chaewon keeps quiet.

Minju laughs at herself.

It is the truth. At some point.

Chaewon walks behind the table and hugs her best friend, “Sorry, I just want you to be okay. You’ve been stressed for too long.”

Minju just nodded.

"Let's break up."

“Come on, you don’t mean that!”

“I do, let’s break up.”

“Just listen to me, please!”

Minju hates it, she hates how the memories haunts her in her sleep. And in her waking moment. It doesn’t choose a time. The only good thing about it is when those memories are good ones, but she questions how the bad ones always comes up when they have much more good memories.

She hates it.

But she lives with it. If that’s the only way she could remember her.

 

//

 

Just like before, Yena and the other two is there inside Hyewon’s room. The latter’s mother knocking on the door and bringing them some snacks, kissing her daughter on the forehead. Yena smiles at the gesture, and misses how Hyewon smiles like that. It comes and goes. It rarely comes, and it always goes.

Yena is busy munching on the food, while Yujin is talking to Hyewon about her piece that she’d be giving to some museum for an auction. Sakura on the hard is busy playing on her phone, and this reminds Yena od the old days – where everything is not messed up, where they all have their lives ahead of them, when there is nothing to be worried about.

“Will you come?” Yujin asks, gaining the attention of Yena and Sakura. They know that two has been talking about the exhibit that Yujin would have soon – she’s been really excited, and she expects them to come. But the question is, would Hyewon come?

Yena knows it’s a risk, this is a hard subject for them which is why they always walk over it, hovering. Touching but not actually touching.

But when Hyewon nodded saying her answer, she received a big hug from Yujin – after all they are the art duo in their group, while Sakura and Yena are the practical minded duo.

“Great, you can catch up with Irene-unnie.” Yena says ignoring the disgusted look that the three gave her because of her habit talking with full. They just have to live with it.

“We would have catch up if she just calls or texts me.” Hyewon huffs.

“We all know that she’s too old to talk on the phone.” Yena jokes, “She prefers to talk personally.”

“Yeah, her and her excuses.” Hyewon rolls her eyes, “Stop eating on the bed, it would leave some crumbs.”

“Oh please, you eat on the bed all the time before.” Sakura retorts.

Hyewon paused and it didn’t escape the other three, “People change.”

And just like that, the foods were transferred to a small table, and the four of them started eating on the floor.

No one talked about it again.

 

/

 

It was already evening and Minju is there right in front of her television, the only difference now is she’s being accompanied by Chaewon.

“If you’re not going to eat that then at least give it to me.” Chaewon says, trying to snatch away the take-out from Minju hand.

Minju slaps the hand away, and continued to eat her almost forgotten food – she doesn’t even remember what they are watching, all that she remembers are that they are high school students who suddenly got some murder mystery happening.

Oh, how much would Minju pay to be back at high school.

“Hey, I have to tell you something.”

Minju turns to look at Chaewon, who seems to be nervous which is weird.

her lips, Chaewon opens but only released a breath.

“What is it?” Minju asks encouragingly.

“There’s this exhibit,” Chaewon blurts out.

Minju nodded, “What about it?”

Chaewon sighs, “Yujin wants us to come.”

A beat.

“It’s Yujin’s first exhibit, and she invited us.” Chaewon explained.

Minju turns to the front and continues to eat her food – it seems unappetizing all of a sudden.

“Mnju, she also asked for you. She’s still your friend.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Chaewon repeats.

“Okay, I’ll come.”

Then Chaewon envelopes her in a hug.

If Minju felt nervous about coming to the exhibit, she didn’t let it show.

 

/

 

This is the first time in a long while that Minju managed to go home early, but she was surprised to see the apartment empty – no sign of her girlfriend. She pouts that she couldn’t see Hyewon and spend time with her so she decided to send her a quick text but she was beat to it when she heard her phone chime.

Will be late. Have some project I need to do. Do you want some dinner I could buy?

Hyewonnie

Minju smiles and quickly replied.

It’s alright, I’m already home though. We can have dinner here?

Minjuri

Perfect. I’ll be there by 8. I love you.

Hyewonnie

I love you too.

Minjuri

And just like what the girl said, she was there by 8, obviously ran to their apartment judging from her breathless appearance. Minju greets her with a hug and kiss.

“Why did you run?”

“You don’t always come home early, so I wanted to spend time with you.” Hyewon answers truthfully.

Minju does not know why but even when they’ve been together for 2 years already, Hyewon always catches her off-guard with her words. For someone who doesn’t prefer words to express themselves, Hyewon is really good at it.

“I love you.” Minju says sweetly, kissing the girl.

Hyewon returned it back and could not help but to smile into the kiss, “I love you more.”

//

 

Yujin looks at the passenger side, seeing that Hyewon is staring out and she suddenly wants to know what the older girl is thinking about. She volunteered to drive – well not really volunteered, but more of like she was bribed into it saying that if she doesn’t drive Hyewon then the older girl would not go.

So, here they are going back to the city a week before her exhibit. Yujin cannot explain the sheer nervousness she felt when she asked for Hyewon to come, especially since the older girl resided back in their hometown right after graduation.

Sakura and Yena went back the day before, saying that they need to do some work and the company is falling apart without them – yeah, the two is working at the same company but Hyewon and Yujin doubts that it would fall without the two. They are just being their dramatic selves.

Yujin hopes that she could read mind, or just talk to Hyewon about her. But she knows better, the older girl would talk if she wants to – but with the music coming from radio the only thing filling up the silence, Yujin is bound to lose her mind.

“You can talk to me, you know?”

Yujin almost swerves out of the lane. Almost. She gives out a relief sigh.

“You surprised me.”

“I don’t want to die yet, Ahn Yujin.” Hyewon said sternly.

Yujin just grins at the older girl, looking ahead to the road.

“How’s the city?” Hyewon questions, “Anything changed? Anything new?”

Yujin thinks about it, “I heard that the library of our university is getting an expansion.”

“It’s too huge for a library and they are expanding it?” Hyewon asked and scoffs, “If I knew that we paid for that expansion I would have dropped out.”

Yujin laughs at the statement, “Hey, you have good memories at the library!” She says the first thing on her mind, and she regrets it the second later.

Yujin now wants to swerve out of the lane, anything that could fill the silence. How can she be stupid?

“Right, good memories.” Hyewon says wistfully.

And Yujin noticed the broken tone when she said the word ‘memories’ because that’s all there is, mere memories. So, she just says another thing to continue the conversation.

“Irene-unnie has been waiting for you to visit her bookshop.” Yujin reminds the older girl, “Beware, because she said that she would smack you the moment you step foot inside.”

And that earned her a laugh.

Yujin hopes that everything would be okay.

 

/

 

Irene looks up from her desk when she heard the bell ring, a smile already plastered to greet the new customer only to be replaced with a surprised look. She pushed herself off the seat practically running to the person, lunging herself and giving her a hug.

“Nice to see you too, unnie.” Hyewon chuckles, catching Irene and returning the very tight hug. Irene couldn’t deny that she missed the art student, and judging from the hug, Hyewon missed her too.

“About time you visit me.” Irene muttered.

Hyewon laughs, “I thought I would be greeted by a book smacking – “

Irene quickly grabs a small book and smacked Hyewon’s head.

“Thanks for reminding me.”

Hyewon pouts.

Irene laughs.

“Do those books need to be sorted?” Hyewon points at the books on the back, Irene smiles at the girl and nodded.

“Want to help?”

“Would I have chocolate after?” Hyewon teased.

Irene just pulled her, “You owe me this for not visiting me sooner!” She whined.

“Sorry,” Hyewon apologizes and Irene could tell that she’s sincere. “I need to get myself together.”

“And did you?” Irene asks, slowly getting some books.

“I don’t know.”

Irene just smiles, and Hyewon is grateful for her not prying, not asking any more questions.

“You here for Yujin’s exhibit?” Irene changes the subject, in which Hyewon nods – feeling a sense of pride of her friend’s achievement.

“Yeah, will you come?” Hyewon asked back, grabbing an armful of books and walking over to some shelves – studying it where she needs to put the books, Irene is predictable to organize the books by genre, letters, then by height.

The older girl hummed and nodded, pointing to a bookshelf for Hyewon to put the book that she’s holding.

“Oh, want me to go with you?” Hyewon asked back.

“No,” Irene declines, “I’m going with Wendy.”

“Oh, with Seungwan-unnie?” Hyewon echoes back, “How dare you make Yujin’s exhibit a date!”

“Stop calling her Seungwan, she doesn’t like it.” Irene ignores the girl.

“Right, I’m not Peter Pan to call her Wendy.” Hyewon rolls her eyes.

And a book was smacked behind her head again, earning a groan.

 

/

 

It was a peaceful day for both Minju and Hyewon given that it is a weekend, and they managed to get some alone time to relax together. Instead of going out, the both of them decided to just stay in and watch some movies.

So, here they are now, in the middle of watching Toy Story 3 with Hyewon close to tears and Minju just hugs the girl. Minju is almost crying too, but Hyewon seems like she would burst into tears in any second.

Then right there, Hyewon did. She cried and Minju hugged her, earning a slap since she could not help but to release a laugh. Minju then felt Hyewon holding her wrist, touching the bracelet that she gave her.

“You’re still wearing it.” She whispered hoarsely, all from the crying she just did.

Minju giggles kissing the girl’s head, “Of course, it’s from you.”

“Ab imo pectore.” Hyewon recites the Latin phrase engraved on it.

Minju smiles when she sees Hyewon looking up to her, “From the bottom of my heart.” She translates.

“You gave this to me knowing its meaning, right?” Minju questions, and Hyewon nods.

“Of course.” She then continues, “It has a story, well according to the old man – I don’t know if that’s just sales talk, but I’m still going to share it.”

Minju grins she loves stories after all, “Do tell.”

“Well, it’s rather a long story, but I’ll try my best.” Hyewon pursed her lips, “So basically, it was given by a painter to the woman she loves. They fell in love during the time that he was painting her, then due to circumstances of his job he needs to be away from her and so he gave that to her with a promise to marry her.”

Minju nods letting Hyewon to continue the story.

“But he couldn’t marry her, he saw her being happy and he is contented with that. He observed her from afar and continued to paint her. Then she died due to some sickness, then he lost his passion to paint.”

Silence.

“Damn, I didn’t realize it was this sad.” Hyewon exclaims and kissed Minju.

The girl kissed her back and hugged her tighter.

“Let’s create new memories with this bracelet then.” Minju mutters, earning a smile from Hyewon.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, one where the painter and the girl ends up together.”

Hyewon smiles widely, “I love you.”

Minju kissed her, “From the bottom of my heart.”

They didn’t know that, that was just the start of the storm.

 

Minju is staring at the bracelet, the familiar bracelet that used to be always on her wrist – the engraving, the memories. She grabs it and clasped it on her right wrist, this is an important event after all – Yujin’s first exhibit. It is a memory worth remembering.