Yujin never felt free in her whole life, always hiding not because she was afraid of something but because she’s much comfortable with it. Introductions are always kept short, her name, age, where she lives, and – yeah, that’s about it. In a way, she feels that it is much easier to hide things than to risk revealing everything – especially her vulnerable parts.

She has never felt free until one night when she learned to control her dreams. It was one random night; she doesn’t know how it happened but all she could remember is the context of her dream. One where she was falling from a cliff, she was shouting hoping that it would stop then she just became aware of everything.

Yujin became aware that it was all a dream then it stopped – her fall stopped and everything just came into a view, as if enveloping her; a kaleidoscope of some sorts.

That’s when she found herself escaping into the infinite realm of lucid dreams, creating worlds that people have never seen, literally. Places that she hopes to be her reality – of her to belong. Though, there would be times nightmares would consume her dream, and it would mostly be the days where she felt stressed, suffocated, pressured from everything – you see, her parents never put any expectations on her, but she couldn’t help but feel it from the public.

Having renowned parents in the medical world will have that effect, which is why she’s been taking advanced classes in that certain field.

This is why she preferred order – having a proper list of everything keeps her mind in a place where she could relax and that’s why her dreams also have that. People might find it weird; dreams are supposed to be an escape from reality and that is true, but no matter how much Yujin wants to escape reality it still scares her to lose that order.

That’s why controlling her dream, she has made her own world – wondrous cities and landscapes that are far from reality, creatures that she has always imagined when she was young, a large mansion that contains rooms of different sceneries. It’s everything that she has to imagine, given that her heart has always leaned more to the artistic side.

Often times, she would be there all alone, wandering around her world doing everything that she can do in it until her alarm wakes her up. Most of the time, her brain would create temporary companions – faces that she has never seen before, and surely, faces that she would never see again. It happens when she really wants to talk to someone, maybe spill some dirty secret or just that – just talk, feel the presence of someone even if it’s a figment of her imagination.

Loneliness, that’s what she feels and she doesn’t know why she feels like that. It was like a vice in her heart, always there squeezing just right to be a constant pain – a reminder that she feels lonely. Some people may see it as something that kills a small part of them every day but Yujin has mastered the art of being its companion.

She has become friendly with the shadows that loomed around her than the light.

Because deep down Yujin has feared that no one would want to form a meaningful relationship with her, she tried, she has tried once, twice, thrice – too many times that she couldn’t count until she just stopped. Right, having renowned parents and Yujin has to pay the price.

People just befriend her to get more exposure, and then when she turns her back, venomous words are roaming around about her.

This is why she explained it to herself every day, a mantra that it’s better to be alone than to feel lonely in a group of people smiling at you. That’s why her brain decided to create someone new, most of the time it’s a faceless person, sometimes it’s someone that she has no clue about. But they all have one thing in common, they don’t have any expectation from Yujin – for her to fulfill.

Like everyone, her dreams became her escape from everything – it is always full of life, fragrant and welcoming her every time. Sometimes it would welcome her in a place full of ice crystal, a snowy landscape that provides the right cold but it still keeps her warm. Yujin would revisit her favorite places in her dreams but will always add something new in it, something that couldn’t be created in the real world – a reminder that it was all a dream and not her reality.

Her dream became her escape, a way for her to hide behind her own imagination, a way for her to explore things on her own. This may be a perfect world for her but it doesn’t make hiding any less lonely.

-

It was night time in her dream, just her sitting and playing with the sand as she listens to the calming sounds of the waves. The moon shining beautifully, huge enough that it seems like she could touch it if she chose to walk towards it. her bare feet sunk into the warm sand, feeling every particle.

The scent of the tide consuming her, much like the scent of the beach that she has always passed when they go for vacations. Standing up, she dreamed of the gentle breeze caressing her cheeks and it did; walking closer to the shore. The scenery was a friendly sight to her eyes despite it being too simple. She looks around to see that the place is too empty for her liking.

There are still a lot of things that she could build, maybe sandcastles too huge that even a human could live in it, a mermaid sunbathing on a rock?

Just like that, a parasol slowly came into view and she couldn’t help but smile. She made her way towards it and sat down under it, lightly grabbing the sand and letting it fall from her fingertips – the texture of it feels so real. She takes a deep breath and stared straight before herself, finding the waves interesting as it’s being hit by the moonlight.

As she watched the movement of the waves, how small and large it would be, a few moments after she began to notice something unusual. Something that didn’t belong there, a head bobbing up and down in the water, getting closer and closer to the shore.

She blinks, she looks at the drenched figure of someone.

I have company for tonight, I guess. She thought.

The person then made it to the shore in a few minutes, and as to how a dream can go, Yujin found herself closer to her companion in a blink of an eye. The parasol that she just thought of earlier was gone, the sandcastle all destroyed – she could build that again anyway.

Yujin was holding a towel, frowning at it before directing her eyes again to her companion. It was a girl, surprisingly, she wasn’t faceless compared to those from a few nights before. Yujin was amazed by the height of the girl, to say that she is already tall for the normal standard but this girl – she’s a few centimeters taller than her.

Then their eyes met and she was surprised to look at the girl’s eyes, resembling the night sky of her dream.

“Woah, okay this is new. Nice.” The tall girl said as she nods her head and looks around, as if approving of the place, then giving a smile to Yujin. She seems pleased and impressed by everything. “Didn’t know I could do that.”

That’s when Yujin found her voice, “I’m sorry?”

She couldn’t help but to notice how drenched the girl is, the water trickling down her making her white gown stick to her, wetting the sand beneath them. Yujin looks away and offers the towel that she has been holding. “Here, you could use this.”

Yujin closed her eyes, trying to take control of everything again. Dreams are still hard to control sometimes, despite how hard she practices. It would be triggered by the slightest thing and it would have a huge impact on her dream world. Yujin would sometimes be ashamed of the nights that she desired to just be kissed and embraced by someone, anyone – just to feel that someone loves her, and it’s probably one of her vulnerable sides showing.

And it’s funny, how no one could see her in a dream – in her own world, but shame still remains with her.

“Didn’t know I could swim,” the girl explained, “I can’t actually remember the day I could last move, actually.”

Yujin wants to scoff, it was hardly swimming but as she looks at the girl now with the towel hugging herself, she stopped herself. There was just something around her, an innocence that captures her and yet a tinge of mischievousness and a hunger for adventure.

Then she looks at the girl’s eyes and she felt it – something was off at that moment. Not particularly off that she needs to panic, nights that she would have a companion, Yujin would still feel a tad bit lonely – knowing that they are all from her imagination.

But that moment, the atmosphere is not eerie in away but the usual tranquility of loneliness was missing – as if she wasn’t actually alone.

Then she tries to think of anything, what does the dream trying to teach her? Is there a hidden message coming from the girl? She thinks and thinks, trying to find some grounding that’s happening.

“But this is just my dream so anything is possible,” the girl continued, shrugging her shoulders and the towel fell from her. Opening her arms, she makes small circles on her place as she closes her eyes. “In my dreams, I am a free bird.”

“This is my dream.” Yujin blurts out, the idea of the nameless girl thinking that this is her dream is just absurd to her.

Then they stare at each other for a long minute, Yujin trying to think if her subconscious taking over her dream – she knows that lucid dreaming is dangerous, but she’s pretty sure that the last thing it would do is to send someone as pretty as this girl to warn her.

But what if it did?

And so, she feels the fear consuming her, that even in her dream she has no place to belong – her subconscious was pushing her out of her own dream. Then her fear started showing, the night sky was replaced, it grew darker and darker, heavy clouds started consuming it, the moon vanishing from her eyes.

And just like that, the girl grinned at her as if she wasn’t offended or scared. “It’s fine, I don’t mind sharing.”

Flopping down on the sand, she looked up to the heavy clouds and continued, “I have never been free when I’m conscious, and I don’t have much company. So yeah, I’d still accept this.”

Hearing that, Yujin sat down beside her, accepting whatever is happening and accepting the fact that her brain just produced probably the most beautiful girl she could have imagined. She shakes off the thought that the girl was just a figment of her imagination, it’s her escape from reality.

Yujin tried to gain control of everything again, the parasol appearing and the heavy clouds disappearing. It takes a lot of time to do it before but with enough practice, she can do it in a matter of seconds – she just needs to be mindful of everything.

She looks at the girl beside her, “I guess I’m the same when I’m awake…”

And that seemed to pique the interest of the girl as she sat straight and looked at her with gleaming and curious eyes, “So, you come to do things that you cannot do? Explore places that couldn’t be explored?”

Explore? Perhaps, a part of it yeah. Do things? No, not really.

“Not really,” Yujin answered, and then just like that the moon appeared again brighter than before.

The girl gasped as if it was a crime to hear her answer. “Why not? That’s like a huge opportunity missed! You know, that Golden ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?” And as if swayed by the movie, the girl asked again.

“Can you taste,” She asked, smiling and wondering, “In your dreams, can you taste?”

Yujin stares at the girl, curiosity present in her, and she thinks that her subconscious has completely overtaken everything by now. As her companion started asking and doing things out of her own accord, compared to those other faceless companions who just sit there beside her.

She should probably wake up by now.

“I can’t really remember.” She answers, thinking about the last time she ate in her dream.

The girl sighed wistfully, “Taste is really hard you know? Sometimes, I imagine all those ice creams and cakes and try my best to taste it but all I could taste is my own saliva.” She chuckled at the thought.

“That’s probably me drooling in my sleep.”

Yujin chuckles with her, then realized their stark difference – with the girl thinking about delicious foods, Yujin created places. Instead of cakes, she created gardens in her own mind – all exotic plants present, as if she was in a forest. Basking in the unusual way the sunlight hit her.

She has built places out of ice, dragged her hands through the smooth and strangely warm walls. Then Yujin has filled a place of what seems to be straight out of Greek mythology, pillars and what not – probably one of her favorite places that she has created, it was just so majestic – that she suddenly missed it.

And that’s how her dreams have always been, just Yujin being alone – exploring all the beauty that she has made with no one to share it with. Her mind has created everything, the moods, and the atmosphere for each scene. Sometimes it would be too narrow, too rigid and suffocating, but oddly enough she feels welcome – Yujin always fit right in, never disrupting the dynamic of the place

It is her dream after all.

And maybe this time, her mind is telling her to stop doing it, to stop creating something common and uncommon and start creating something different. To stop building wonderlands that no one can see, and start creating someone that she can share it with.

“What else would you try?” she asked the girl, curiosity suddenly spiking inside her.

Then the girl thinks about it for a moment before answering, “Today I was in the middle of the ocean, so yeah I managed to swim I guess.”

Stretching her hands as if reenacting what she did earlier, and Yujin couldn’t help but think that she looks like an idiot. Then just like that, the sky wa