There's always a disruption that prevents Mina from maintaining her equilibrium and that disruption always comes in human form of Im Nayeon every morning jog schedule at the track field. It's so often that the rest of her teammates even greet Nayeon good morning when she slips past in their line and Nayeon's own teammates are the first to shoo her away and push her towards the swimming team.

Athletes are composed of dedication, passion, and discipline. Nayeon is plain stubborn and persistent. Mina won’t call it dedication or any of that sort.

It's the same wave and smile that she gets from Nayeon every morning but Mina doesn't think there's going to be any progress between the two of them. She might've let it pass that one time Nayeon had fed her - Mina still refuses that that scenario is real. That's not going to change anything between them.

That was a one time thing. Mina deludes herself that it’s not much of a big deal to have a “stranger” feed you. Totally not a shocker.

Nayeon still has her lame conversation starters and small talks that mainly consists of the soccer star talking to herself while Mina focuses on her jog and on ignoring Im Nayeon.

It's an easy job to ignore Im Nayeon, pretend she isn’t there because that’s what Mina’s been doing for the past days perfectly, until she starts bumping shoulders with Mina every three minutes of the jog.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" the swimmer audibly hisses. "Stop that!"

"You can talk!" Nayeon fake gasps – a smile follows it to tease the swimmer. "For us to be friends, you actually have to talk and not ignore me all of the time. That's not how it works."

"I don't need friends."

Nayeon snorts. "Why the hell do you think the quote "No man is an island" exists? Because everyone needs someone and just like me, you have a friend and that's Momo. You can make it two if you decide to talk to me, yeah?"

Mina reiterates, "Let me rephrase it then, I don't want you as my friend."

"Ouch," Nayeon pretends to be hurt and reacts exaggeratedly, pounding at her chest. A smile then starts pulling at her lips after. "That's not going to stop me just so you know."

/

As far as Momo knows, Mina is not the type of person that lets unnecessary things linger around her - too much of it causes her stress. She has this systematic way of thinking that revolves around concise and well-thought plans - almost a perfectionist but not quite. When they snuck around during training before, Momo knew it’s a slip up and that Mina has a lot on her plate for her to let that happen twice.

It’s like hitting the jackpot or winning first place in the lottery.

So when she sees Im Nayeon still sticking her nose around Mina, it comes as a surprise but a pleasant one. It’s still the same routine: blending herself with the swimming team during morning jogs and then the usual wave and smile that she offers Mina every single morning jog.

“It’s been a week now,” Nayeon starts, like she always does since Mina won’t do it. “We’re technically friends - not close but still friends. Isn’t that awesome, Mina?”

Basically: a whole week of Nayeon always trying to start a conversation with the swimmer and solid seven days of Mina pretending that she isn’t there at all. It gets tiring to have the same unwanted routine. To have a soccer player jogging her way beside you.

What a starter!

“I think it’s amazing! Im Nayeon and Myoui Mina, the bestest of friends!” proudly, Nayeon declares.

Mina would’ve laughed at the ridiculous thought but she doesn’t. Her and Nayeon? Maybe if things didn’t happen the way they did then that can be a possibility.

/

Momo checks on Nayeon from time to time whenever she gets the opportunity. They have varying schedules from each other so when they do see each other (that being mostly in the cafeteria and the dorms), Nayeon has this weird yet aggressive way of getting her to agree to things Mina won’t be pleased at.

Apparently, there’s a dinner party for the soccer club that’s around 10PM and Momo can’t exactly say no when their training ends at 10 and the same goes for Mina. Nayeon has a scheme up to her sleeves and Momo is up for it but the challenge here lies within Mina.

The ever so uptight Mina that seldom goes out to have fun and would rather stay beyond training hours.

“Do you have any plans later?” Momo later asks after their laps in the pool.

“Sleeping, what else?”

Momo watches as Mina rearranges her things inside her locker. She takes a good look at her and the only thing that her mind could come up with is that Mina needs to relieve her stress.

“How about we go out? The soccer club invited me and said I could bring anyone.” Well, Nayeon had specifically said to persuade Mina to go and strictly forbids her from bringing anyone else. It’s either her and Mina or there’s no free dinner.

But that’s not so important right now for Mina to know.

Mina shuts her locker close and gives Momo a probing look. “Since when did you get associated with the soccer club? That Nayeon is weird and now you’re suddenly friends with the whole team? Would you please enlighten me?”

“First of all, no, I am not dating Im Nayeon.” Mina makes a face that’s as if to say is that important? And Momo backs it up with, “Yes, that fact is important just in case you’re interested in her-”

“-Me? Interested in that soccer player? Momo have you been paying attention to what’s happening lately? Her and I, it’s a no-no.”

“Not when you’re still keeping her around.” she says a little too quickly that it raises a brow from her friend. “You could’ve told her off-”

“I did and she’s not listening-”

“-No, as in told her to off because that would work. But you’re keeping Nayeon around, Myoui. So I’m going to take that as a probable cause why you will be coming with me to the dinner party.”

She would’ve refuted – get her point across that there is no way or any time soon that she and the soccer player that goes by the name of Im Nayeon will be on the same boat.

It’s exhausting enough to deal with her every morning jog. Mina keeps running and Nayeon is stubborn to chase her every time.

/

“Is Mina coming around?”

Momo shuts the door behind her. Nayeon is casually dressed up for the dinner party and she takes it into account to also wear something similar.

The dinner party is out of the blue, actually. Nayeon has only known when Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung brought it up earlier today at lunch, said that it was going to be a festive dinner and didn’t disclose any more details than that. Weird but who is Nayeon to say no to free food? The soccer team has secured funding from the institution so for them to pull a dinner party out of thin air shouldn’t surprise her as much.

“She is.” Momo replies – avoiding too more inquiries that involve how they’re going to get Mina out of the dorm.

“She is?!”

Suddenly Nayeon is beside her, eyes widened that only expects nothing but truth from Momo. She nods to confirm her inquiry - only half true though. They still have to drag Mina out of her room before Momo could finally breathe guilt-free.

“How?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

/

“You didn’t tell me I have to drag her out! Literally!” the soccer star hisses, still feeling betrayed at her roommate for tricking her to picking up Mina together. It was a whole power play to finally have Mina walking in front of them, displeased with both of her company for tonight, and Nayeon has to hush herself or else she’ll hear her.

Momo snickers. “What? And not get free dinner? No thanks, Nayeon.”

Nayeon can’t believe her ears right now. Groaning loud enough for Momo to hear how disappointed she is, Nayeon strides faster and catches up with Mina. At least she won’t have to deal with Momo’s annoying , because between her and Mina, Nayeon is the annoying .

For once, Nayeon appreciates the quiet with Mina. She treats Momo’s unnecessary comments as background noise and mutes it off.

“How do you do it?” the soccer player asks, decides to finally break the silence. Doesn’t expect to get an answer but she tries anyway.

Mina turns to face Nayeon, head tilted to the side. That was enough for Nayeon to look away in haste, not expecting Mina to pay her attention or even turn her way.

Funny, why am I feeling fussy?

“You’re so good at pretending like I’m not there - invisible and not existing. I totally get it that you’re still holding that grudge against me but wow, to this extent?” Nayeon breathes because that was something she’s been keeping to herself from some time now. “It’s like I’m performing a monologue whenever I’m with you, not that I mind, but it gets repetitive. How are you so kept and closed?”

“Why does it concern you so much? I’m minding my business and you should too.”

Nayeon bitterly nods, biting the inside of cheek. “Yeah, okay. Is it fun though?”

Silence. (Or the magic appearance of crickets.)

Mina wishes they arrive soon at the place so Nayeon’s friends could drag her away from her.

Fun?

“You know, Mina, all of this is worth it for me. I don’t care how tiring training is, how emotionally draining it is to get yelled at, and all that because I’m having fun. It’s all worth it in the end for me because it makes me happy. Does it make you happy?”

Mina feels her own insides twitch and then it feels like everything inside her is shrinking. She hates how Nayeon can hit the goal even without looking past.

Is there fun in competition? Mina had competed, trained, and everything to her sport but the fun department is obviously lacking in every way. She admits it’s because of herself – how toxic and unhealthy her mentality is when it comes to competition.

Swimming before is all that Mina needed to get away. But as she looks at it now, the more she gets involved, the thing that she loves the most is also the reason of her destruction. Unhealthy competition? Mina has that checked. A not so positive mindset? That one is checked too.

The list could go on.

“Are you happy?”

It doesn’t resonate with her. Happy?

Am I?

No.

No, I’m not happy.

Instead, in the smallest voice she says, “Make me.”

(Nayeon pretends to not hear.)

/

(But Nayeon is not a total .)

The “dinner” party turns out to be a complete bogus party. It’s more of a frat kind of party that college kids throw their bodies at and get wasted. Nayeon is equally as confused as Momo and Mina. Especially when plastic saucers are flying around and the frisbee team thinks it’s the best alternative to their discs.

Nayeon has two necks to come for after tonight. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung better watch out for Nayeon tonight or they’re getting their bottoms kicked for good and in front of everyone.

Another saucer flies over Nayeon’s head and she ducks just in time before it hits her. She yells at the group, drunk and smiles flying up their asses to pay Nayeon attention.

“Okay, change of plan.” Nayeon says as she turns her back to the party and faces the two confused bodies. “Just don’t get wasted and everything is okay.”

Momo’s been to different kinds of parties before so this one is like riding a bicycle with training wheels. She only smiles at the two before disappearing into the crowd leaving two people that shouldn’t be left together.

“This is a disaster. I should’ve stayed,” Mina dreads, heels ready to turn around and take a cab right off the sidewalk. But Nayeon stops her, holds her by the wrist and with pleading eyes she tells Mina, “It’s not, trust me. So, have you done this type of thing before?”

No. Mina has not gone to a wild party before because she’s too busy training and sulking. This is a terrible idea. Agreeing to Im Nayeon is the biggest mistake - but to be pulled inside the booming building, Mina’s wrist enclosed by Nayeon’s rather gigantic hand, something flashes before Mina’s eyes.

She wishes it’s not real. It feels like a movie, a stupid romance one peculiarly mixed with fantasy and science - never goes well together. She and Nayeon? It’s a no-no.

Mina looks at Nayeon’s hand. It’s still there and the flashes are starting to feel too real. Mina doesn’t even know why but she looks away to stop from feeling too much.

They enter the frat house.

Everyone’s mostly from the university just from different sports. The party is a point of interest or more of an after training hang out place, that Mina would assume, because if not half of the population or third of it are still wearing the university’s infamous varsity jacket.

“Do you drink?” There’s already a cup in Nayeon’s hand and not a minute has passed by since they dare enter the packed living room. The soccer player offers, extending the cup to the swimmer’s direction, but Mina declines. “Oh, okay.”

Then they somehow end up in the busiest part of the house: the kitchen where everyone is greedy to get their fill. Stacks of red cups at the island counter, and are they doing keg stands?!

“Um, do you wanna eat? Have you eaten?” asks Nayeon when she can’t come up with something to keep Mina entertained. The keg stand doesn’t appeal to Mina, only her brows furrow together at the act.

From the kitchen, they somehow manage to get past more sweaty bodies and find themselves at the back patio.

“Do you wanna sit down or something?” asks Nayeon when she has to pull on Mina’s wrist with more force as the swimmer lags behind.

It becomes an adventure of what’s supposed to be Nayeon’s attempt of keeping Mina company and entertained throughout this messy endeavor.

“We could go to the pool area if you want? It’s less stuffy there.” asks Nayeon when she feels the room get a little crowded than the room before.

“You okay there?” asks Nayeon even when Mina doesn’t show any kind of discomfort.

And those are only examples from the many questions that Nayeon had asked Mina for the past two hours that they’ve been inside the party house. It gets impossibly ridiculous everytime Nayeon asks because she’s being obvious at how hard she’s trying to get Mina to stay. (Mina doesn’t comment.)

But the thing with Nayeon is that she finds something more ridiculous than her trying her best for no apparent reason, is the way Mina answers all of them - her questions whether it be the stupidest or the simplest ones she could come up with, just so she could properly kill time with Mina. To add to that Nayeon is still holding onto her wrist the entire time - as though Mina is going to get carried away by the sea of people.

However, Nayeon doesn’t need to as Mina is an adult and she can handle herself pretty well. But Nayeon does it anyway.

“Are you sure you’re here to show me how to have fun? Because by the looks of it, you’re pushing yourself more than enjoying it.” Mina shouts over the loud music. They’re by the staircase next to the living room where there are less people but it’s still inaudible if they were to talk in their normal voices.

After all of that… they end up here sitting on the staircase with nothing to do. Frustration gets into Nayeon easily and it’s obviously showing as she can’t keep herself still.

“Fine!” Nayeon puts her hands up in surrender. Mina stares at Nayeon, finds nothing but pure regret and discouragement in her. Shouldn’t she be the one feeling that way and not the other way around?

“I’m not a party kind of person and my god I have been to parties like this twice and I hated it!”

Oh.

“I went through the effort of dragging you out of the dorm so I didn’t want to waste it. I mean, have fun you know?”

Nayeon could easily be labelled and be put into a group of people that are known to party hard and they won’t suspect a thing because she looks like she’s one of them. It’s the face, she supposes. Nayeon is not even sure why she was trying so hard back there.

She has drunk a total of three cups of alcohol induced juice that was supposed to be for Mina, all because Mina doesn’t drink and Nayeon is not entirely sure why it falls upon her shoulder to drink all of it.

Nayeon runs her hands down her face and slumps to the wall, exhaustion finding it ways to her system and it doesn’t help that the alcohol is seeping in now. The frustration is evident in her face and she couldn’t bother to hide it from Mina.

The soccer player shouts in random prolonged syllables. Mina jumps a little in surprise.

“I just wanted you to have a good time!” Nayeon shouts it in all earnest and pure intention.

This is supposed to be her shot with Mina and she’s completely missed the goal. She could blame her teammates for not telling her the exact details of this supposed dinner party; especially Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung that went ghost on her!

Maybe Mina is right: this is a terrible idea!

She shouldn’t have forced Mina into this dumb plan of hers - scratch that, there’s no plan to even begin with.

Maybe the smile on Mina’s face is a pretend one, a consolation for her trying-

“-Wait, you’re smiling?” Nayeon rubs at her eyes, even blinks to make sure of what’s happening and it’s not the alcohol or whatever was there in the drinks. “You’re actually smiling?”

“Yeah,” Mina simply says with a smile unmistakably shining in Nayeon’s eyes.

She’s smiling!

Nayeon can conclude right then and there that Hiria Momo is pretty but seeing the smile on Mina’s face, how it lights up her usual gloomy face, the soccer player doesn’t need to think twice that Mina is beautiful.

It’s a weird gut feeling but Nayeon can attest to her words: Myoui Mina is beautiful.

“I can’t believe you put up a front like that,” the swimmer chuckles – Nayeon thinks Mina is breaking character right now but she likes it. The smile on her face stays. “You’re a lot stubborn than I originally thought you were.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually laughing and smiling because of me?”

Mina learns that Im Nayeon tends to act like a loser, a stark contrast to how she brings herself. Nayeon could waltz her way every morning to the swimming team yet she couldn’t handle a party like this.

“But yeah, same here. I can’t believe I did that.” The soccer player breathes.

Nayeon would’ve preferred it if the silence isn’t the kind that puts two people awkward and wary of each other, the one that replaces Mina’s smile with a straight line. Her conversation starters are lame and she can’t pick up a conversation that’s been dead for minutes now so Im Nayeon settles with her ‘out-of-game’ impulsiveness.

“Let’s get out of here.”

As a soccer player, Nayeon can’t be impulsive and do stupid things on the field but she can’t take this stupid atmosphere and the cringe-y bass boosted song playing for too long. She takes Mina’s hand into hers (again), not as calloused as her own, and pulls her out of the house.

(It starts flashing before her eyes again. They’re back and twice as strong as before. Mina tries her best to ignore it.)

The next problem arises, Nayeon doesn’t know where to take it from here.

So, what now?

“You’re bad at this.” Mina openly says as they stand two houses away from the party with nothing to do and no plan to follow. (Nayeon’s still holding onto Mina’s hand.)

“Let’s just get some noodles. Do you fancy noodles? I don’t think I can go on without eating something tonight.”

Im Nayeon is the polar opposite of Myoui Mina. She does things as she pleases while Mina has to think it through whether it’s okay or not. Like that one time she wasted two hours debating whether she should buy a new phone case only to close the tab and continue scrolling through her phone.

Mina also learns that night that Nayeon is a messy noodle eater, specks of spices decorate the side of her lips like she’s a five year old, whereas Mina is as spotless.

The best that Nayeon could come up with is to eat instant noodles at a convenience store. It’s empty due to how late it is now. Not the best but the way it screams of how Im Nayeon would’ve wanted it.

This is better than forcing herself to drink and pretending not to be awkward. Parties are not meant for Nayeon. Gatherings and meetups are much better than those.

They sit on the counters by the window - sees their reflection, tired yet relieved to get out of the noisy hellhole. At this, Nayeon realizes that Mina is beside her.

“See, we are friends.” Nayeon points out, mouth chewing at the noodles.

“But not that close.” she says back and leaves the table.

Mina comes back with a handful of tissue and hands it over to the soccer player.

“Still friends.”

Yeah, friends. And Mina can’t believe she’s eating noodles with Im Nayeon at a cheap convenience store during an ungodly hour when her usual routine during this exact hour is sleeping.

But she laughs with Im Nayeon that night.

Nayeon gets to bask in Mina’s beautiful smile.

Mina thinks it’s not a mistake to agree with Im Nayeon.

/

Momo notices it right away that something has shifted. Im Nayeon is eating twice her usual lunch meal. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung noticed it too during training. Nayeon is on full blast for half of the scrimmage that she has to get a substitute in that short amount of time. Normally the soccer player can manage her energy well be it during training or an actual game.

“Oi Nayeon! What’s gotten into you?” asks Jeongyeon during their water break.

She wipes her sweat away with her arm. Nayeon pants and Jeongyeon hands her an unopened water bottle.

“Too much energy drink, I guess.”

/

What gives it away is when Momo looks back to check on her team. They’re all focused on finishing the morning jog and usually it’s the same people who have small talks with each other. If it’s not the two noisy boys then it has to be the three other girls at the side. But this time there are two new additions at the back: one is animatedly talking while the other is rhythmically nodding her head.

Mina is listening to whatever Im Nayeon is talking about.

Now that’s something new.

/

The starting pistol fires away. Everyone dives into the water and they swim as fast as they can, arms and legs working full to beat their record time. To Mina, it’s always a race between her and Momo who gets the faster time. Envy is unhealthy when it comes to competition. Mina would know. She’s spent long enough to figure out that she has yet to improve so she could be on Momo’s level - be better than the pearl of the water world.

Sportsmanship however? Mina still lacks on that factor - will continue to do so every time she comes in second and Momo is in first.

“Minari! Look, you broke your record!”

She should be happy about it that she’s outdone herself but she can’t help but always feel inferior and second to everything and everyone.

Mina fakes a smile, her jaw feels tight. It’s enough to stop Momo from praising her and for her friend’s attention to shift to something else. Mina is ashamed of herself with how she sees Momo and how she feels about her. They’re friends, yes, but Mina can’t help it if she has an unhealthy competitive attitude.

What could she do? At a very young age, people around her always praised her for being an excellent swimmer. She’s fast and wins every game she participates in. But it all changes because it’s the false hope that Mina hates the most because when they praised her, Mina believed every inch of it. Until she grows up and it turns out she’s not the prodigy that everyone tells her to be. That she’s just another swimmer behind someone greater.

Behind Momo.

She learns not to believe in everything that people say - to not be innocent and naive. That competition outside her turf is tougher. That she will always be second.

It’s toxic.

/

“Mina!” Nayeon catches her walking down the steps - a wide smile that only gets brighter each time Mina sees it on the soccer player’s face. She waits for Nayeon to get around the fence. “Bad day?”

She nods.

“Let me guess, you came second? Must ,” the soccer player singsongs as if to friend.

Nayeon is insensitive. Most of the time it’s unintentional and most of the time it’s the reason why people she talks to walks away from her without realizing the gravity of her own words. It’s the same thing with Mina but Nayeon chases after her.

Nayeon is unaware that she’s just rubbed salt to an open wound - one that can’t seem to heal and be bothered to be closed.

It’s not her fault. Mina tells herself over and over again. Nayeon doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t know.

But why does she need to be exactly on the spot? Mina hates this.

“Don’t you have practice?” is Mina’s attempt to shoo the soccer player away.

It’s weak and fails ultimately as Nayeon persists to keep her company.

“It starts as soon as you tell me what’s up.” Nayeon risks the possibility of running late yet again. Besides, this is what a friend would do. Right? Jeongyeon does this often with her when she’s pissed off and is about to punch the other team - not to that extent but the idea is there. Even Chaeyoung does it too.

“Nothing is...up.”

Mina obviously heaves a sigh. It’s bothering Nayeon enough for her to think that her guess might be right.

“And you’re down because nothing is up?”

“No.”

“I think it’s a yes.” says Nayeon with finality.

“Why did you even ask? Go to your training.”

Nayeon shrugs. She can hear an entire rage monologue later if it meant knowing what’s making Mina feel this down. The last time was because she accidentally heard her coach’s outburst and razor-like criticisms, that Nayeon could understand and work her way around with.

“It’s your fault if I run late, you know.”

Mina scoffs. “Is it now?”

“Yeah. If you tell me now, I won’t be late. It's as simple as counting one to three, or even to five.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Besides from me skipping practice today? I’ll be stuck with you the whole day. Horrible, isn’t it?”

It is. Mina, as of the moment, doesn’t want anyone around. To have Im Nayeon stick around with her would mean her plan to sulk to herself would get ruined. Plus, the liability of her skipping training. Mina changes her direction.

It’s a fair play. No fouls just being smart.

“You know you can’t get rid of me so why not tell me what’s your problem? Maybe I can help. It’s what friends do!”

“Are you sure about that?” There’s a glint of quirkiness behind Mina’s voice.

And Nayeon can’t believe that she didn’t notice that they’re now walking towards the field where most of her teammates are already stretching and warming up.

“Really Mina?” she deadpans.

The swimmer acts innocent, shrugs and says, “Didn’t know we’re heading here.”

“IM NAYEON!” Yells Nayeon’s coach, still a blob in her opinion. He should cut Nayeon some slack. There’s about ten minutes left before the training starts. There’s nothing wrong (there is) if she spends the rest of it with Mina-

“Hey Mina,” Jeongyeon arrives. She puts both of her arms around Nayeon and shakes her. The soccer player retaliates and huffs. “Sorry but I’ll be stealing her now. The team needs the soccer star in Nayeon, unfortunately.”

“Goodluck.” Mina sends Nayeon off as Jeongyeon drags the unwilling player into the field.

/

Nayeon doesn’t know why the sun is blazing so damn hot today. Everyone is furiously sweating and is in dire need of replenishing their thirst. The soccer star glides through the trimmed grass in success to steal the ball from Chaeyoung’s possession. She runs towards the goal. Looking left, there’s her teammate open for a receive but she decides against it seeing the opponent speed up. To her right is another teammate, this time Nayeon kicks the ball in her direction.

The ball is received by her teammate. Nayeon slows down and tries to get in control of her breathing, finding it hard to get air into her lungs because of how hot it is.

The soccer star calls for a timeout.

“Jeong, can you sub for me?”

“Sure thing. Here,” Her best friend hands her a towel and her bottle of water.

“Thanks.”

This is what Nayeon is talking about. Friends do favors for each other. They make sure that you’re okay even though it’s visible that you’re not okay.

After pouring the cold water to the towel, she squeezes it together to drain the towel. Not too dry, just enough so water won’t drip. Nayeon lies on the bench and covers her eyes with the towel. It’ll have to do before she passes out from the heat.

Not long after, the scrimmage comes to a close and they’re given half an hour to rest. The temperature has gone down and the sun is covered by the clouds now. Nayeon catches her breath as she lies down on the grass patch, her arm shielding her eyes from everything.

“So, you and Mina.”

Nayeon stays mum. She doesn’t have the energy to answer Yoo Jeongyeon right now and she prays that Chaeyoung won’t be joining them anytime soon. She’s goddamn tired.

“That party did you good, huh?” Nayeon just knows there’s a big smirk on Jeongyeon’s stupid face right now.

“You and Chaeyoung owe me for that. How the hell does dinner party translate into college party? I hate both of your asses.”

If Nayeon is not dead tired, she would’ve wrestled Jeongyeon down right now.

“And so? Look at what it did to you and Mina!”

“We’re friends, Jeongyeon.” Nayeon says monotonously shutting down the implied meaning of Jeongyeon’s words.

“As of the moment.”

Nayeon lifts her arm up to look at Jeongyeon ridiculously and says, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“If you keep that attitude up she’s going to end up hating you forever.”

“She’s not going to hate me forever and why would she hate me?”

“Exactly!” Jeongyeon muses to which Nayeon lost track of what her friend is supposed to mean.

“If you think like that, there’s a probability that the two of you are going to end up something more than friends.”

Nayeon is quick to sit up straight and land a punch to Jeongyeon’s shoulder. “Your brain needs some tinkering. Who the hell thinks like that-”

“-Do you find her pretty?”

And Nayeon says, “Beautiful” a little too fast that Jeongyeon can’t keep the wide smile from breaking out.

“See.”

“No. Shut up, Jeongyeon.”

“Goodluck.” The midfielder imitates.

/

The thought did keep Nayeon up that night. Mina is beautiful - there’s no argument about that. And she thinks, if it’s possible, Mina becomes more beautiful when she’s smiling. But it stops there - that Nayeon reasons, it’s not possible for her and Mina to develop something more than friends.

Mina is beautiful.

/

The next time she sees Mina is after two days. Nayeon starts their conversation with another lame conversation starters, one that she’s been curious of, “Do you think string instrument majors are good at ?”

There’s a visible scrunch on Mina’s forehead, brows knitted together; not quite sure if she’s heard the soccer player correctly.

“What the hell?”

The idea is bizarre and creative but Mina doesn’t want to entertain that kind of thought. Besides, how the hell is she supposed to know? Her life is nonexistent. How does correlate with string majors?

“I don’t know,” Nayeon says freely like it’s a thought that decided to casually say out loud. “If you look at it this way: since string majors mostly use their fingers, they must have good endurance using it. They even do complex strums and whatnots. What do you think?”

“It’s 7AM and you’re asking me if people who play string instruments are good at ?”

Nayeon grins at her. “I’m not the best at conversation starters, am I now?”

“I suppose not.”

And there is it.

It’s a small smile but Nayeon manages to catch it before it quickly disappears. Mina doesn’t know but Nayeon performs an internal victory dance in her mind for the simplest thing such as seeing her smile. It feels gratifying to see a smile blossom on Mina’s beautiful face and not the usual cold and indifferent side of her.

Mina is so beautiful.

/

Momo bursts out laughing during their break when Mina had told her of Nayeon’s bizarre idea. It’s boisterous yet again and Mina has to cover Momo’s mouth with her hand in embarrassment. The swimmer clutches at her stomach for laughing too much, almost wheezed when Mina had innocently asked her the same question.

“What do I think?” says Momo midlaugh.

Mina nods because, in actuality she doesn’t know, and maybe Momo might know a thing or two. Between the two of them, she’s got a record of doing the nasty.  Mina feels it’s safe to ask Momo that question.

“I think you have to find it out yourself.”

A teasing grin replaces the laugh from Momo. She’s always teasing when it comes to and Mina doesn’t get her.

“But I have to tell you, Im Nayeon is great in bed. Proven and experienced by me.” She winks at her and Mina could almost puke.

“You banged her?! In the dorms?!” She manages to whisper-shout. It’s not a luxury to know that Hirai Momo and Im Nayeon banged.

Momo laughs again and she’s holding onto Mina for life because the pain in her stomach is gradually increasing.

“Oh my god no,” says Momo. “Remember the one night stand I told you before? That’s her. I didn’t know she’s going to the same university and let alone be my roommate. It’s crazy if you think about it.”

“Hold on- Let’s me get this straight. Im Nayeon is the reason why you were sore and skipped training?”

“Correct.” Momo confirms.

Her jaw hangs at the revelation. Who knew her friends would each other and then end up becoming roommates?

“I recommend you try it with her.”

Momo sends her another wink and then a kissy face, the annoying ones. It pisses Mina off for some reason and she doesn’t want to find out why.

/

The last time Momo remembers, Nayeon and Mina only see each other during their morning jogs and on rare occasions when they bump into each other in the dorms and at the campus. So, to see Nayeon literally dragging Mina to sit by the corner at the cafeteria - Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung are also bewildered at the entrance by the two athletes, Momo has to doubletake if what she’s seeing is not something out of hallucination. The fact that they sat away from them must mean something.

Jeongyeon and Momo share the same look, carefully nodding at the scene predicting where this would go. Chaeyoung? She just wants the strawberry shortcake that Nayeon pulls out from the paper handbag.

That day out of all the days Nayeon could’ve picked, she decides (though she’s days late) that she should buy Mina a dessert to make up for the day that she made Mina feel horrible.The reason might be because Nayeon’s been thinking about the swimmer at night some time now (and she blames Jeongyeon for sparking the idea). Though she’s not sure if it’s on her that Mina’s mood got sour that day, Nayeon still made the effort to buy the slice of cake.

“You dragged me all the way here for a strawberry shortcake?” Mina questions after Nayeon has placed the dessert in front of her.

“It’s not like that but in a way it is.”

Usually, Nayeon can explain herself thoroughly and justify things well on her own. She doesn’t know if it's healthy or normal for it to be this fast, that she can’t avoid but think about of Mina, and Jeongyeon’s stupid question if she’s pretty. It’s a yes or no question yet she answered beautiful, which is true in her defense. But that’s the first half of Nayeon’s problem.

The second one is how she can’t find her focus these days. And now she’s rambling about soccer shoes that Nayeon thinks Mina could care less. She's not a soccer player gosh. It’s weird to ramble but it’s weirder that she can’t focus her attention on Mina.

“Nayeon,” the swimmer calls as Nayeon rambles on and her eyes are all over the place. “You’re rambling too fast. I can’t understand anything you’re trying to say.”

Nayeon breathes of relief. Great Mina didn’t catch how she just rambled about feeling fidgety all of a sudden. God how the hell did she even manage to drag Mina all the way from the dorms to the cafeteria?

She can’t focus.

“Is your attention span always this bad? Are you stressed or what?”

“No,” Nayeon denies. “Just today.”

It’s just you.

It’s just Mina, Nayeon.

“Look at me, Nayeon.” Mina stresses her words as the soccer star starts fidgeting with her fingers - and god, Mina hates how she remembers her bizarre question.

Stupid Nayeon.

Nayeon looks at Mina - her eyes specifically but she’s quick to retreat as it makes her feel queasy inside. Then she discovers the beautiful constellation on Mina’s face. The constellation made up of moles start on Mina’s forehead. The second is on the bridge of her nose then slightly below that is another mole. The fourth one is located on her philtrum. The last two are below her lip and by the chin.

The soccer player finds it easier to focus on them - especially the moles near Mina’s lips. It's placed strategically. She doesn't have to look at Mina in the eyes and she has a nice view of her soft lips. Nayeon looks at it again as a big picture, a constellation ready for view. It’s beautiful. There’s a whole constellation going on on Mina’s beautiful face and Nayeon is starting to think that this might be her favorite thing next to Mina’s smile.

She smiles as she goes over again at each mole.

Mina huffs. “You’re not listening.”

“Focusing.” Nayeon simply says, still openly appreciating the beauty marks.

“On what?”

“Nothing. Just you.”

/

Later that day, Mina stares at her face in the mirror.

Was there something on my face?

/

Nayeon tries to stay away from Mina for the meantime, decides that she has to settle things on her own and figure out why she’s nothing but a messy stuttering loser only when it comes to Myoui Mina. She’s definitely not an idiot, just impulsive and insensitive. Not nervous, just a stuttering mess.

Unfortunately, in everything that Nayeon does there’s always a but or an if.

The overall sports committee had called for a meeting at the seminar hall housing half of the clubs in the venue. It’s not as spacious when there are about thirteen other clubs in just one room that some athletes have to stand up while the talk goes on.

This being Nayeon’s third year, the talk is nothing new or of any information for her. It’s a mix between scolding juniors to do better and win some medals and schooling the soon to be seniors to take things seriously.

Nayeon snorts. She looks at Jeongyeon who’s faking that she’s listening by nodding her head along to whatever was being said. Nayeon should really take things seriously. In a way, she does take things into consideration from time to time but the problem lies whenever she hears that she needs to secure a sponsor before her graduating year.

It’s a very frustrating topic that Nayeon hates touching. Having a sponsor is everyone’s dream, it is Nayeon’s too, but to push it this early only gives her stress and nothing more. Nayeon has a lot of responsibilities hanging on her shoulder. It’s hard enough to juggle them all at once.

“Hey look it’s the swimming club!” Chaeyoung points to the seminar hall entrance.

See? There’s the but to Nayeon’s concrete plan.

But the swimming club is here. Of course, they have to be here rather than be with the other clubs in the annex building that’s also having the same exact talk. Of course, Nayeon would look to where Chaeyoung is pointing her finger at and her eyes automatically search for Mina when she shouldn’t.

And Nayeon is weak to not to tear her eyes away when Mina’s eyes find her.

She waves at the singer, like an instinct. Not that she’s become used (she is) to this routine of always sending Mina a wave and a smile as her form of greeting. Nayeon perks up when Mina smiles back - still as small compared to the one that Nayeon had personally witnessed upfront back at the cheap convenience store while they eat noodles.

“I’m offering my seat to Momo,” says Jeongyeon who’s now motioning at a confused Momo to come over to their place. “Give your seat to Mina too.”

“Not a chance.”

“Why not? Come on be a chivalrous knight for once, the world needs it.” Jeongyeon pushes at her shoulder in an attempt to get Nayeon to move her body.

“I won’t because look at you,” Nayeon eyes her best friend from head to toe and scoffs. “Now you don’t have a seat.”

Jeongyeon shrugs and then there’s a visible grin on her face when Momo comes over. “You can sit here, Momo!” And Nayeon takes it as Jeongyeon being the stupid one for once.

“If you’re not giving up your seat then we might as well accompany Mina over there. Chaeyoung can keep Momo company.”

And there goes another but to Nayeon’s now crumbling plan - once great but is now in progress to go down in ruins because Jeongyeon is forcefully dragging her out of her seat and towards where Mina is with the rest of the swimming team.

Nayeon has her hands at the back clasped together. She tries not to give it much thought that Mina is beside her and how she’s an inch or two taller than her or how she has a nice view of the swimmer’s profile and one of Nayeon’s favorite things: Mina’s moles.

Oh.

No.

The hurried feeling comes back and it’s as if Nayeon can’t focus again now that she’s this close and it’s worse this time because they’re not even talking!

“You okay there?” Mina checks. From the corner of her eye, she sees Nayeon shifting weight from one foot to another looking like something is bothering her.

“I don’t know- no, I guess there’s nothing? Ha, what do you think?”

Great.

That was so great Im Nayeon!

Jeongyeon leans in and whispers, “What the hell was that about?”

Nayeon gives her a look and shoves her back to her place. Between the boring talk and having to face Mina, Nayeon would prefer running four laps at the field today than face any of them. It’s that bad. But Nayeon has no choice but to look at Mina and try not to get caught staring at her moles because, as weird as it is, it calms her down and that’s where she gets her focus from.

“You’re very obvious, you know that?” Nayeon is? She points to herself and Mina nods as a matter of fact. “Just say you have a bad attention span, I won’t judge.”

“Okay?”

No, Nayeon has decent to excellent focus but it’s just that Mina is making things so confusing for her. Why is she even this jittery when there’s nothing to fuss about?

But for now, she has to stop from further embarrassing herself. Nayeon does it unconsciously so as she falls for the beautiful constellation on Mina’s face, tracing them again and again, still finding each mole adorably placed and how they are able to stay in a specific area.

She pauses and gives it thought.

Mina is soft. Her features are sharp yet gentle and perfectly complements her elegance and grace.

Nayeon thinks it’s unfair yet a blessing to be friends with someone this beautiful.

“You’re doing it again,” there’s a pout on Mina’s lips. Nayeon softly melts at that - even more so when the swimmer’s brows bunch up together in confusion. Mina looks like a kid, one that expected something in her Christmas sock from Santa but gets nothing that morning when she checks.

“I don’t know if you’re staring or you’re out of it again.”

She shakes her nod. “I’m focusing.”

“On what?”

“I told you before.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!”

Mina is as confused as before. Is Nayeon staring simply because there’s something on her face? Or she just can’t get her focus back? She doesn’t want to make an assumption. Yet.

“It does for me,” says the soccer star as she regains her focus and that unerasable smile on her face.

“You’re weird.”

Nayeon pokes the area between Mina’s brows and soothes it down. “You literally told me you won’t judge me and yet here you are saying I’m weird.” She teases and gives the skin a light flick.

“Don’t tell me you’re “focusing” on me again.”

“Kinda am.”

“See? That’s weird. Why would you focus on me?”

Nayeon asks that question to herself too.

She shrugs. “I don’t know, Mina. I just am.”

/

"I knew it!" Jeongyeon pumps her fist up to the sky. She merrily hops beside Nayeon, a eating grin on her face as she looks at the superstar.

Confused, Nayeon asks. "Know what?"

"You like Mina! God! I knew it all along!"

"I do?"

Jeongyeon's face falls - disbelief painting her features as Nayeon acts aloof and unknowing.

"Yeah,” The midfielder says as a matter of fact. “I was there beside the two of you!" She pushes at Nayeon and it sends the soccer player tripping down the cemented road. Nayeon retaliates as she gets back up and runs after Jeongyeon to push her harder.

Imitating people is Jeongyeon's baddest asset but she tries her best anyways. "I don't know, Mina. I just am." Jeongyeon snorts after.

"You're graduating next year and you still act like that?" is Nayeon's attempt to get back at her friend.

"So? You're also graduating and you still can't figure things out on your own."

Ouch. That one hurts for Nayeon. Albeit true, there are a lot of things she's figured out already. Like getting into the Nationals and winning… and Nayeon sighs because she does fall short on her future plans besides bagging the trophy. Everyone tells her that it's okay for her to take her time but guess what? Nayeon is entering adulthood and if her foolproof plan somehow goes south, it’s a teary goodbye to her secured future. There's no plan B or any backup plan at all.

Besides that, Myoui Mina is a friend. She's not a responsibility and she's definitely not a part of Nayeon's future plans (yet). That if she will ever become one. She has yet to figure things out and keep herself from adding additional baggage,

"I think you should go for her."

Nayeon has another responsibility to take care of.

You can find me on twitter: @yeonjvgn
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