The soccer team functions just fine without Nayeon but there's a visible difference with the superstar around. Im Nayeon is their biggest asset and addition to the team ever since she's joined the club. She's naturally skilled - fast to pick up plays, has the best in-game decisions, and is flexible to any changes that could happen. But her tardiness outweighs all of that most of the time.

Nayeon is close to being a model rising athlete.

Supposedly, Nayeon should've been in the dorm sleeping soundly on her bed. If she were, she wouldn't be running late again for training. But she’s not.

Nayeon still has a long way to run before she reaches the field, sweat now covering her skin of how the sun is striking down on her. 

She's an hour late to the practice. When she does arrive however, her coach doesn't ram up his voice to the loudest possible option, her teammates are all busy training to give her importance. That's when Nayeon knew she messed it up bad this time.

Still, she is able to join the game. For dinner, she’s going to have to run five laps around the field and at least five to ten sets of their usual exercises. It’s nothing over the top; just Nayeon’s own way of repentance and redeeming act to feel less guilty from being tardy.

And whatever this bizarre environment is right now.

At the end of the session, Nayeon is quiet to approach her coach at the sidelines. With his arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face, he offers Nayeon a stare off.

Nayeon bows a perfect 90 degrees, stiff with arms tucked to her sides. “I’m sorry, I know I have no reason to justify my tardiness but I promise to do better - the best, top of my game.” It comes out more sincere than Nayeon intended it to be. 

He doesn’t need Nayeon to promise him something that should already be a given. He could yell at Nayeon for as long as he wants, he is her coach anyways, yet he stands firm on his ground and could only release a loud sigh of disappointment.

The soccer player flinches, the obvious guilt ripping away her insides, tasting anything but familiarity. Disappointment is never Nayeon’s forte. She can’t take it well when given upfront. Nayeon would rather have her coach yell at him with all his might and red anger. She can take harsh words well but when it comes to feelings, this one being disappointment, Nayeon thinks she should do more than five laps.

“Do it again and I’ll have to reconsider putting you in the arsenal for the qualifiers and the Nationals.”

 /

10PM.

Picking up her mint green duffle bag, Mina rushes over to the entrance where Momo waits for her. They go out of the building side by side. It has been a long day at practice, not that anything is new but being constantly on water and practicing the same routine for years could get exhausting. But it’s fruitful when Mina is able to decrease her usual record. This time, she doesn’t check on Momo’s record and focuses on her own instead.

It’s a cover up, Mina knows herself well.

The feeling of always coming second will always hurt than push her to ascend higher. Mina hates how her brain turned out to be like this. Why couldn’t she be like the others? Be an athlete that’s overflowing with sportsmanship and healthy competition.

She can’t live forever with this toxic habit of hers.

It’s draining in all aspects and much worse than her physical training.

“Isn’t that Nayeon?” Momo points at the lone running figure by the field. Mina squints her eyes trying to make out the small person. “Weird. She’s usually back at the dorm this hour.”

“Do we check on her?” Mina offers because as an athlete, she knows that it’s a dumb move to overexert yourself and exhaust your body of what it’s capable of doing. All that it’s going to give an athlete is a sore and aching body by the next morning.

As if on timing, Momo lets out a loud sneeze.

“That’s a no, huh.” says Mina.

“Sorry. Is it alright if you look out for Nayeon?” They share a smile that holds the same intent: Nayeon isn’t the best at taking care of herself.

Mina nods in understanding. She pats Momo on the shoulder and then ushers her to go hurry up before she catches a bad case of flu. Back at the soccer player, Mina wonders what on earth did Im Nayeon do now for her to still be practicing at this hour. The closer Mina gets to the field, the clearer it is that Im Nayeon is far from training. She has the weightlifting club’s tire tied to her waist, its size weighing down the athlete as it takes more strength and effort to push forward.

“Nayeon!” From the distance, Mina (tries) to yell at the soccer player.

Nayeon only pushes forward. Her breath becomes labored by the time Mina gets onto the flat portion of the field, bullets of sweat trickling down her face, Nayeon grunts.

“Oi! Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Fortunately, she’s not.

It’s an attempt to redeem herself and to lessen the guilt she’s feeling. But mainly because it’s a punishment and a reminder that if she can’t juggle between her responsibilities, Nayeon might lose everything she’s worked for. The dream is to make it to the Nationals and win it. The dream is never to slack off and be as irresponsible.

Nayeon groans.

Two more laps.

Come on

She might collapse by the half of it or less.

Not only is Im Nayeon stubborn, she’s not a born quitter in literally everything. But as good as her in-game decisions are, it’s twice as bad when it comes to her life decisions.

The soccer star collapses on the spot, back against the ground as she gasps for dear air. The velcro belt comes off in an instant and Nayeon is free from the extra weight. She takes deep breaths of air, feeling how expanded her lungs are, then exhales just as much.

Mina emerges from the corner of Nayeon’s eye. The swimmer squats beside her - a ridiculous look on her face as she looks at Nayeon. If Nayeon continued what she was doing, she would be wheezing by now and thank god she didn’t because Myoui Mina is right beside her. That’d be embarrassing.

“It’s almost midnight, what are you still doing here?” She asks as she searches her duffle bag for an extra dry towel.

Nayeon is too tired to lift her arms and she swears she saw Mina roll her eyes at her. Still, the swimmer takes it into her own hands to wipe the sweat on Nayeon’s face.

“Thanks.”

“You should go inside. The temperature is about to drop, come on.”

“I can’t.” Nayeon simply says.

“Why not? What is it about now?”

Nayeon closes her eyes. “If you tell me why you were upset before I’d tell you why.”

“I hate that you’re this stubborn and childish all at the same time. How do you cope with that?”

“Mina, the last time I checked I’m not your business not in a rude way of course, but in a way you are mine. But what I’m trying to say is that, god- I’m so thirsty!”

Mina hurriedly finds her water bottle after the series of coughs that came from Nayeon. Now sitting in an upright position, Nayeon downs the bottle in one go. She prays it doesn’t flow down into the wrong pipe.

“I didn’t get what you were saying.”

“You don’t always get what I say, Mina.”

Mina likes to argue because most of the time Nayeon spends it rambling incoherent sentences that Mina can’t pick up and follow along, but she’s kind enough not to.

“Then make me understand!”

“Make you understand what?”

See ? Mina can’t think of any reason why Im Nayeon’s thoughts are all over the place. It’s like she’s always having a difficult time focusing and gathering her ideas into coherent words and sentences.

“You’re all over the place, Nayeon.”

“I’m not, Mina. ” she argues back.

“Can you please focus?”

Look at me.

Would Nayeon rather look anywhere but her?

“No.”

This time it’s Mina’s turn to groan. “Why not?”

Nayeon doesn’t look at her and trains her sight to Mina’s water bottle. “You’re going to think I’m weird, again.”

“Why? Because you’re going to ‘focus’ on me again?”

“Yes,” Nayeon breathes - heat spreading through her neck that she has to open the water bottle again to splash the remaining content on her gradually burning skin.

Mina holds herself back. She is not going to make an assumption out of this. It’s still too early for that.

Receiving nothing but a silent stare, Nayeon exclaims “See? Now you think I’m weird!”

“I thought you were weird even before this,” says Mina.

Nayeon turns to look at the other athlete. Her guts churning and the hurried feeling returns the more she looks at the blossoming smile on Mina’s face. Is she teasing her?

“But I’m not!” She hides behind her hair. Nayeon could only take so much emotion at once when it comes to Mina.

“Change my mind then.”

Now’s the time not to embarrass herself, and maybe get an answer for her own sake? Nayeon has a lot to lose but not this one.

They play the waiting game. Between the two of them, Nayeon is the clear loser and at the losing side of things. She peeks from the strands of her hair that serves as cover and sees Mina patiently waiting. Breathing deep, Nayeon looks up and fixes her hair behind her ears.

Keeping eye contact with Mina, “Remember that time I bought you cake?” The swimmer nods at the recent memory.

“Great, well um- I don’t know but I think it started there?” She bites her lip, lost in how to continue this.

“Losing focus?” Mina suggests.

Nayeon crosses her arms and shakes her head. “No.”

“No? Then what is it?”

“Jeongyeon told me something weird before that but that’s not important. Yeah, maybe losing focus is part of it but you know how you’re suddenly jittery for no reason?” Mina nods, not in understanding but to let Nayeon know that she’s listening and trying to keep up with her thoughts.

“It’s kinda like that with you,” Nayeon finally admits. “I don’t know what it is about but I seriously think you’re beautiful. And I don’t mean to freak you out when I stare at you, I’m trying to get my focus back on you. It’s crazy, you know? I get jittery because of you yet you’re also the reason I find focus.”

It’s not instant, and Nayeon is not going to lie that this got her heart pounding and running, but Mina keeps her smile and Nayeon catches the way it gets wider in the slightest way. But it’s quick to disappear and Nayeon’s heart sinks.

“So what do you think?”

Mina blinks. “I think you need to go to sleep.”

“Yeah,” She breathes. “I think I do.”

/

That night, Mina had supported Nayeon back to the dorm, and fortunately got a hold of Momo before her arm could die out from the weight of the soccer player. Nayeon had pathetically excused herself to get Mina to help her walk back to the dorms because her body suffers the consequences of going beyond capacity.

At the same night, Nayeon lies awake, completely still, eyes wide staring at the ceiling. Momo’s already asleep and it feels like the moon and Nayeon are the only ones awake.

But Mina tosses and turns on her bed.

Neither could sleep but thankfully it’s a Friday tomorrow which means leisure day.

/

“Hey, Momo.” Nayeon calls from her bed as her roommate moves around the room organizing her things from the ground to the closet. Hirai Momo is not the tidiest person out there but she tries her best to avoid things to look like a dumpster.

“What do you think about me?” The soccer player asks, and after what she’s done and said last night to Mina she thinks it proper to have an outside view of her.

For the record, Mina didn’t say anything nor give her an answer.

“What I think of you?” Momo repeats.

“Yeah, of me. Am I weird or something? That kind?”

“Jeongyeon did say a couple of things about you.” Momo sits on her bed adjacent to the soccer player. At first glance, Nayeon is hot. For her to think of herself as weird must come from her personality, that Momo assumes. But as of the moment and after all the time they’ve spent together as roommates and as friends, Nayeon is weird in a good way. She’s not peculiar either. Nayeon’s weird is between acting uncharacteristically at times and being a little too enthusiastic when Mina is around the area.

“You’re kinda weird but not weird, you get me?” Nayeon hums in agreement. “But to me you’re more of a loser than weird.”

“How the hell am I a loser?”

Hearing the soccer player scoff, Momo snickers. “Apart from soccer, I mean.”

“That doesn’t answer my question, you know. Doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“You don’t make sense at most times too.”

Another begrudgingly moan comes out of Nayeon, “Now you sound like Mina! Why does it have to be Mina! God help me!”

“Mina?” asks Momo with her brow raised in curiosity. “What about Mina?”

She can’t spend the rest of her time listening to Nayeon groan all day long. Momo has things to do, they’re not that important but still, Mina is in the equation now so that’s going to count for something and for Momo to change her priorities for today.

“Do you like my friend?” Momo probes and lightly kicks Nayeon by the shin to get her attention back.

“And now we have Jeongyeon! Does everyone assume I like Mina?”

Who wouldn’t?

“I mean, who doesn’t?” Momo adds.

“I know!”

Im Nayeon is hard to talk to when her thoughts are all over the place and most of the time contradicting one another. Momo sighs, “Did something happen between you and Mina?”

“Nothing happened,” Nayeon confesses as she sits on her bed with her legs crossed facing Momo. “I don’t know, do I like Mina? Does it look like I like-like her?”

“What opinion do you want? The as a friend kind of like or the as a possible romantic interest kind of like?”

Possible romantic interest? Now that is new to Nayeon. Though she’s had a few relationships before, this one sits rather bizarre to her. It’s happening too fast for Nayeon’s liking. It’s too fast she can’t comprehend her emotions and feelings.

“Both, I guess?”

“Okay then,” Momo smiles and then dramatically ties her hair up as if to give Nayeon the life lesson that she never knew she’s going to need and hear.

/

It didn’t help Nayeon. Momo had clearly drawn a distinct line that Nayeon is stepping into the territory of catching feelings for Mina. While that was a clear and solid opinion from an unbiased source, Nayeon needs more verification.

Momo starts questioning her then.

Has Mina ever made her heart beat fast?

Nayeon groans. She has.

That was indicator number one as Momo had mentioned to her. The next thing on Momo’s list is: have you done something stupid for the sake of Mina?

Another groan.

Twice at that. Exhibit A is when they went to the stupid party; Nayeon had tried her best for Mina back there for no absolute reason. She just did. Exhibit B is when Nayeon had pulled Mina down on the grass field despite knowing nothing and establishing nothing with her. She even fed her lunch on her own accord!

Those were lovely moments yet they give Nayeon the impression that she’s acting uncharacteristically for Mina’s sake.

Then Momo hits her with another question, “Do you think about Mina a lot?”

“No,” Nayeon firmly states and says another unnecessary and unfiltered thought, “But I do focus on her.”

“You focus on her?”  Momo repeats and tries to hide a smile nearly cracking.

The soccer player carefully nods and remembers the first time she did it. “Yeah, you know how her moles are in one align in the center of her face? It’s beautiful. Have you noticed that?”

“And why do you do that?”

Nayeon shrugs to which Momo finds hilarious that the soccer player is unknowingly rambling and revealing herself. It feels like she’s become Nayeon’s uncalled personal counsellor all of a sudden.

“I can’t focus when she’s close so I guess I found a solution by looking at anything but her eyes. My thoughts are all over the place when she’s there and it’s like I have to warm myself up before I can properly think the way I do.”

“Okay,” Momo breathes in relief. “We have our answer.”

“We do?”

Momo nods. “The bottom line is: you’re not stepping into the territory of catching feelings anymore-”

“-I’m not?” Interrupts Nayeon.

“You’re already in it. Just lost and wondering, like you need to find your way through before you come to your senses and realize it’s there. Seriously, you mapped out the moles on her face?”

“They’re beautiful, okay?” Nayeon tries to justify.

Momo squeals and jumps on Nayeon that sends them falling down onto the mattress. Nayeon groans at the sudden weight crash, her muscles aching at that, and tries to push Momo off of her.

She doesn’t get off no matter how hard Nayeon tries.

“I knew it! I knew something was wrong when I saw you all smiley and pumped up the day after the party!”

Momo’s theory of something has shifted is now proven true - the little details all coming together as she pieces it one by one all thanks to Im Nayeon coming to her senses unknowingly: the shift between Nayeon’s feelings towards Mina.

It’s all thanks to the commotion Momo is making that they were unable to hear the continuous knocks on the door which Mina emerges from looking lost and confused as to why Hirai Momo is on top of Im Nayeon.

“Oh- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

Momo tumbles back down on the ground as Nayeon finds the strength and pushes her off and sprints past Mina to the door.

“It’s not what you think it is,” Nayeon quickly explains, her hand at the back searching for the knob so she can properly shut the door and avoid the possible exit of Mina.

“I wasn’t !” Momo quickly defends herself as she stands up from the ground, hands in the air.

Nayeon glares at her roommate that has the same unfiltered mouth as hers. As she’s about to approach Mina, one of Nayeon’s legs gives in but Mina is quick enough to catch her before she falls flat on the floor.

“Bedridden it is.” groans Nayeon.

Mina remains quiet, hand securely wrapped around the soccer player’s waist, helping Nayeon to get back on her bed. Momo sends Nayeon a quick teasing wink. Fortunately for Momo, the athlete can’t reach her and Mina stops her from excessively moving.

“What brings you here?” Momo asks and acts as casual as she returns to folding her clothes then organizing the folded ones in her closet.

Mina thinks Momo has to tone down her shopping sprees because Momo’s personal belongings are gradually filling up the dorm space.

“I just wanted to check up on Nayeon.” Mina spares Nayeon a look, and doesn’t linger too much acknowledging Momo’s presence.

“You do?” says Nayeon in a whisper.

“Nayeon’s fine, she’s got me.” Momo declares to which Nayeon refutes with, “The last time I checked, being on top of me doesn’t equate to taking care of me.”

“Well,” Momo drags and she hints of something that Mina is quick to catch on. “The last time I was on top of you before this, I was doing so so good . Remember?” says Momo in a tune.

Mina interrupts the banter as she lets out a purposeful cough. “Are you two like, friends with benefits now?”

“What- no! That’s disgusting!”

Momo sends a powerful kick to Nayeon’s bed as if offended that the athlete is  close to barfing with the mention of their relationship. They are friends that happens to had before they knew they were going to be roommates.

“I’m not saying you’re disgusting Momo. The ‘friends with benefits’ thing is.” Nayeon briefly explains. “We’re friends.” says Nayeon with finality before Mina gets another wrong signal.

“ Good friends. ” argues Momo. “Now that you know Nayeon is doing fine, do you wanna go out shopping?”

All of Momo’s freshly washed clothes are now folded neatly and secured properly inside her closet thanks to Mina’s lending hand.

“Again?” Mina sits beside Momo.

“For food and snacks.” Momo smiles her sweetest at Mina trying to lure her into her not so discreet plan of having her help carry the groceries. “We can buy treats for Nayeon too.”

“I’m not a dog, you know.” interrupts Nayeon. 

“Oh hush, it’s free. Mina’s paying for you.”

“I am?”

“Kind of. Come on, soccer player Im Nayeon can take care of herself while we’re gone!”

 /

In truth, it is Momo’s not so carefully yet quickly devised plan when Mina had barged inside their room. It’s more of an interrogation process rather than selecting varieties of food and snacks that should go inside their cart. Mina’s finding it hard and annoying to go through the aisle with Momo beaming at her with the stupidest smile on her face.

And that smile on Momo’s face gets deeper and wider when she asks, “What’s Nayeon’s favorite snack?”

Momo pushes their cart and stops when Mina stops at the chocolate section of the aisle, her elbow on the handle as her face rests on her hand.

“Can you stop smiling like that? It’s creeping me out.” says Mina after she glances back at Momo.

Mina takes her time choosing which snack she should get for Nayeon. Momo never actually meant that Mina should pay for the soccer player but what can she do? Mina’s taken it seriously to the point that her brows are bunched up together as she compares two chocolate brands side by side.

It’s cute.

They’re cute together.

Momo also takes her time with Mina. Smiles even wider when all of Nayeon’s excerpts are true: Mina’s moles and where they’re located. She’s never taken this much detail about her friend before because who does that? Stare at their “friend” and map out every detail that you can then say they’re beautiful without sounding in love?

Momo snickers. Apparently, Im Nayeon does.

“You’re acting weird, Momoring.”

“Between me and Nayeon who do you think is weirder?”

Mina chooses a chocolate bar with nuts in them for Nayeon while hers is a cookies and cream flavored one. Momo pushes again at their cart as Mina continues their journey in the mart.

“You are. Stop smiling like a psycho, seriously. Nayeon’s better than you if you keep this up.”

Momo pretends to be hurt but her smile stays on her lips. “In what way is Nayeon better?”

“She doesn’t push things? You’re with her, why are you asking me?”

Momo rolls her eyes. She can only take one idiot between Mina and Nayeon and Momo would rather it be Nayeon. This won’t do it. She can’t smile and breeze her way through Mina.

“ Okay, Mina. Let’s say, it’s just a thought, don't think about it too much, but what if you catch feelings for Nayeon?”

Mina returns the box of sweets back on the shelf. She turns to look at Momo, finds her more serious than the usual smiley and easygoing Momo. Things turn around in a flash.

“You didn’t bring me here to shop, did you?” Mina points out.

Momo knows Mina can put two and two together fast, complete the puzzle faster than she can. Her question is obvious enough to let Mina know her true intentions.

“I guess not,” Momo stands up straighter.  “ So?”

Mina sniggers that she’s going to have this conversation with Momo inside a mart. Somewhere around the campus would’ve been a better alternative. But Momo’s gaze turn sharper; it cuts Mina away from her own small bubble.

“Are we seriously having this conversation here?”

“Yes! And stop prolonging the inevitable.” Momo huffs. “You’re keeping Nayeon around. I don’t think it’s for the sake of friendship anymore, Mina.”

“Are you serious right now?” says Mina, exasperated. “How did you come up with that assumption?”

“I am,” Momo deadpans. “It’s too fast, Mina. You let her in when I don’t expect you to. I see you with her when you shouldn’t even be there in the first place.”

Too fast.

The flashes return but they disappear just as fast.

It scares Mina. Back at the party with Nayeon holding her, it flashed before her. It’s too fast that it feels like she’s going to crash and burn. People always say that the right things take time and one shouldn’t rush into things. She looks up at her friend, Momo visibly softens.

“What’s wrong?” Momo approaches Mina only to see the look on her face. “Hey, it’s okay. I overstepped- I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, Mina.”

Mina shakes her head. “It scares me, Momo.”

“What does?”

“Back at the party, everything flashed before me- a whole relationship with Nayeon and I don’t think I’m enough for that. For her.”

Like a story written that all Mina has to do is read through the pages, live it out how she’s supposed to, but she can’t. It’s a push and pull to have things go her way and it feels as though she’s going to tear the pages apart any moment.

Mina’s heart constricts - albeit painful, she feels hollow. She feels like losing Nayeon even when she isn’t hers yet. Feels like she’s never making it past the starting point. It’s scary and Mina fears that she won’t be enough. What if Nayeon leaves her?

Why can’t she dive head in first and not break even if she hits rock bottom? Why can’t she swim against the currents and past her insecurities? Nayeon is there yet she holds back.

It’s taking everything in Mina not to break down in front of Momo and show her how weak she is. Momo is one of the currents Mina has to swim past before she can get to Nayeon, get over her stupid insecurity towards her friend.

If she stays longer in the ocean current, she’s going to drown.

/

Since Nayeon pulled another tardy card (and hopefully her final) last week, she’s been staying at the field to practice overtime. Taking into consideration how her body ached before, Nayeon does it in moderation this time around. The tire she had put on last week was a big pain in the and literally at her hips. It’s too heavy for her. She must be crazy desperate for her to run three laps with the tire attached to her body.

She’s never doing that again!

Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung have been reminding her not to push it too much and overdo herself. They tell her that it’s better if she rests properly on time than spend the extra hours running around the track and practicing with the ball. “You’re naturally skilled, just work on your punctuality. Trust me, it’ll get you places.” Chaeyoung once told her.

But it helps Nayeon take her mind off things, to have the night alone and all to herself. Lying down on the ground, seeing the night clouds pass by her, Nayeon prefers it this way. It’s exhausting yet gratifying to do so.

She doesn’t want to think about getting benched for the qualifiers or the Nationals let alone be eliminated for the possible lineup. Nayeon exhales deep. Working hard is not enough.

The soccer player runs for another two laps.

In the middle of it, Nayeon abruptly stops and lets her body collapse down on the ground, and briefly forgets that her phone is in her pocket. The device hits her bone which sends her groaning in pain. She’s too tired to continue. It serves as consolation that her body won’t undergo another bedridden phase.

She wishes Mina would magically appear beside her.

With Mina it feels like she’s winning.

With Mina, Nayeon momentarily forgets the loss that tainted her career, her position in the team, her dream.

A loss that felt like her nightmares came to life.

Nayeon had lost.

Two years to be exact and the same year she got in the club. Nayeon knew she had the skills to get into the official team without breaking much sweat, an easy pass to get closer to her dream of winning the Nationals. When the opportunity presented itself to Nayeon, she snatched it as fast as she could before anyone else could.

Winning the College League is a crucial step for Im Nayeon. It’s one of the few doors that’s going to lead her to the National Team. She can’t mess it up. Not even after hearing her seniors backstab her and belittle her.

Nayeon was stable.

Was.

Words that are thrown like knives towards her isn’t the reason why she deteriorated.

They’ve managed to sweep the qualifiers, practicing from morning to night and then beating opponents on the field during competition proper. That was everything Nayeon had worked hard for but she knows it shouldn’t stop there.

Comes the day of the College League. Nayeon had spent her hours solely on training and improving, practicing plays and throwing calls all for them to go down the drain when she doesn’t show up ten minutes before the match proper. Her coach before was different, not the red angry blob she has right now, and had actually and genuinely looked out for Nayeon. He cared for her, searched for her in every corner of the arena.

Nayeon is nowhere to be found.

The rising soccer player had hailed a cab the moment she got the call, instructed the driver to speed to the address.

Nayeon had lost when she arrived at the hospital.

Knocking past the nurses, her aunt had held her back before she could burst into the emergency room. Tears were streaming down on both faces, grief and hollow lost gnawing at their hearts as the words, “ I’m sorry, she couldn’t make it.” were out for Nayeon and her aunt to grieve at.

Nayeon had lost her sister in an accident.

The one last fight she stood up for, she gripped the white coat that the doctor wore, holding back the devastating ache between her chest she dared asked, “J-Jihyeon? Is she alive?”

Jihyeon is Nayeon’s last fight and sliver of hope.

Nayeon had built herself from pieces because of Jihyeon.

Everything that Nayeon is pouring her soul and sweat into is because of Jihyeon. Seeing the sweetest smile from Jihyeon serves as Nayeon’s own medication and reminder to continue and go on.

It’s only (stupidly) proper for her to push through her limits.

This is for Jihyeon.

/

A week later, Nayeon buys Momo another serving. It isn’t necessary for her to do so because Momo is staying longer than Nayeon expects her to.

It’s been over a week since Nayeon has been with Mina. Not that it’s unsettling for her to not have the assurance of Mina around her, it just doesn’t sit right with her.

Momo had a ridiculous look on her face when Nayeon had asked if she’s got a hold of Mina because after all the times she could’ve asked, Nayeon stops herself.

“She didn’t tell you? Mina has a competition tomorrow,” Momo presses her phone open to check the time. “She should be practicing or stretching right now.”

Of course, Mina’s not going to tell her.

Nayeon could only offer Momo an awkward smile, bobbing her head.

/

The swimmer opts to drown herself with tunes to keep her head in the game, breaking focus is the last thing Mina needs right now. It’s 5AM and she’s on the way to the competition that her coach had signed her up for; told her that it’s going to help her up with getting a sponsor.

Sunrises are never Mina’s favorites. She prefers sunsets like how she prefers winter from summer. They’re the perfect mood setters for someone like her. Nothing much goes on during those times. It’s the calm after the unnecessary fuss. They last longer and Mina can savor it until it’s gone.

Now that the sun is set, Mina heads inside the building.

She could only do her best to not disappoint herself.

Mina can’t lose, much like Nayeon.

/

“Chaeyoung!” Jeongyeon runs over to the bench. Hands securely placed on both sides of her hips, the midfielder sighs again. “Have you seen Nayeon?”

The short but agile player shakes her head in response.

“Where the hell could she be now? I thought she was buying us lunch today.”

“Have you tried calling Momo? Maybe she knows where Nayeon is.”

/

Nayeon going on missing sprees is nothing new and is not a secret to the soccer team.

And Jihyeon is not a secret but her existence is limited to Nayeon and her relatives. Jihyeon is the only valid reason why Nayeon would go out and miss out on her training. She has to be there when her aunt calls and tells her Jihyeon is sick and at the hospital. Aside from that there has not been a proper time for Nayeon to introduce her niece (now she calls Jihyeon her own baby) to her friends especially to Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung but it so happens that Momo saw her that afternoon with Jihyeon at a chicken restaurant that’s hidden to the university.

Had Momo assumed that the two-year-old child was Nayeon's? She did.

Does Nayeon know how Momo ended up in this part of the area? She doesn’t.

“I didn’t know you had a child!” Shock is an understatement to how blown away Momo is right now to see a kid peering up at her soul as if analysing the smallest details. Nayeon explains the situation to Momo after she’s calmed down.

“You legally adopted her, right?” Momo asks further. Seeing Im Nayeon with a two-year-old perched at her lap all the while she feeds Jihyeon is extremely fascinating. Momo rarely hears and experiences occurrences like this.

Nayeon has that look in her eyes that tells Momo she’s willing to give up anything and everything for this little girl. It contradicts how Nayeon is the usual insensitive of a person. When Jeongyeon comes running to Momo most of the time during lunch it becomes an automatic session of yapping and ranting away of how her best friend had let run again.

“Do Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung know about Jihyeon?”

Trying to get the little girl open up to her, Momo stabs a bite sized piece of chicken and offers it to Jihyeon. Her heart melts when the girl happily eats the meat - a smile so innocent and of pure happiness makes it even better.

“She’s so cute,” Momo coos, gently rubbing the back of her arched finger to Jihyeon’s soft baby cheeks.

Nayeon smiles. “She is.”

She’s been considering it: introducing Jihyeon to her friends. But now that the qualifiers are near, Nayeon decides against the idea. It will have to happen sometime in the future.

This one, Nayeon has to win it for Jihyeon.

/

Bang!

Mina dives, reflexes kicking in.

She races to the end.

/

Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung leave the field after Nayeon promises she’ll be back in the dorm before the crack of dawn, alive and not wheezing her lungs out.

Today has been a rollercoaster kind of ride, a mini one. Momo’s met Jihyeon and is happy to see how positive Momo has received her. Nayeon even learns that Momo is awkward with kids, and she had loads of fun teasing her about it on their way back to the campus.

Nayeon doesn’t mind the grind she has yet to put because of missing half of the practice. It’s not as severe as before knowing that they only had drills and no proper routines.

Her day is going well and Nayeon hopes that Mina’s day is too, curious if Mina’s won the competition.

The thought of Mina makes Nayeon smile – a medal hanging on her neck, smiling and proud at what she’s accomplished.

Her phone starts ringing.

Nayeon picks up absentmindedly. “Hello?”

“It’s 12AM Nayeon, where are you?” Momo says through the line.

“At the field. Don’t worry I’ll come around, I just need to rest. What’s up?”

“The dorm’s having a movie night at the lounge. Apparently, the volleyball team is buying us food and the track team are on the drinks, alcohol-free though. But I think that won’t last too long.”

Nayeon giggles. “Fine. I’ll be there.”

Slinging her duffle bag on the shoulder, Nayeon heads to the nearest shower room around the field. Her phone rings again the moment she gets out of the shower.

“Momo?”

“Can you get me pads before you come back?”

“Really, now?” Nayeon groans. “I’m on my way to the dorm, Momo.” She lies, excited to get back and jump into a feast as she’s starving from the extra hours spent training.

“Please? I’ll reserve you three cups of noodles if you do it.”

Now that’s cheating and very tempting for Nayeon not to take the offer.

“Ugh, fine. It better be cooked when I get there.”

Checking the time on her phone, it reads 12:30AM. It makes Nayeon sigh that she has given up a few hours of sleep so she might as well go at it. There’s no morning jog tomorrow anyways.

Her phone rings again.

“ Ya Im Nayeon” Hearing Yoo Jeongyeon call her like a backstreet person, she rolls her eyes. “What do you want Jeongyeon?”

“You’re going to the convenience store, right? Chaeyoung’s also on her way can you help her smuggle beer? The track team’s paying for it anyways.”

Nayeon is confused. “How did Chaeyoung get involved in this? Is it because of her friend again? The one that’s from the archery club?”

“You mean Dahyun? Kind of, Sana’s all over her so she dragged Chaeyoung into the conversation.”

“Sana? Who’s that?”

“Senior track member. The Minatozaki Sana.” It’s been three years since Jeongyeon had seen and briefly met the track player, and three years (still) of her being in denial that Sana can actually run when she often trips over nothing.

Nayeon hears Momo through the line laughing and conversing with other athletes. “You’re with Momo right now aren’t you? Tell her she owes me another free lunch. She could’ve asked Chaeyoung to get her pads. I was on my way back, now I’m walking extra!”

She hears Jeongyeon snickers. “The two of you have a weird way of thinking and processing things. By the way, don’t get caught or we’ll never have another movie night like this again.”

“You two are the worst,” Nayeon groans, bids Jeongyeon goodbye then calls off the line.

Nayeon gets to the convenience store first, annoyed at having to keep fixing her duffle bag that keeps slipping off her shoulder. Grabbing two packs of Momo’s requested pads, Nayeon ventures to the beverages section. It reminds Nayeon of how she ridiculously drank cups of alcohol for the sake of Mina.

These days, Nayeon can’t get a hold of Mina even during their morning jogs. Even Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung find it weird to have Nayeon running beside them. There’s a running joke between the soccer team that it’s an eyesore to have Im Nayeon jog with them when she’s literally joined the swimming team.

Maybe Nayeon could try drinking a bottle of her own tonight since today went well for her. A little celebration for the good things that overweighs the bad.

“Nayeon? ” 

Nayeon jumps, clutching at her chest at the surprising presence. Her fist ready to swing but stops midway to see Mina.

She lets out a breath of relief. “Don’t scare me like that! I could’ve hit you!”

Wait- Shouldn’t it be Chaeyoung running the errand for Jeongyeon? Unless.. She sniggers piecing the bits of information together. Of course they’re going to make a way for Nayeon to meet Mina. Of course Jeongyeon and Momo would do that.

Those two are unbelievable!

Mina has two baskets full of beverages already and they’re all alcoholic drinks ranging from beer to soju. Three bottles of each kind.

“That’s a lot,” Nayeon points out. She opens her duffle bag to check if there’s any space for them to smuggle it in without getting caught. Nayeon groans. “We need to sneak around the building. That’s a lot, it won’t fit inside my bag.”

After paying for all the bottles, Nayeon pulls Mina to the tables by the window. There’s a look on the swimmer’s face that bothers Nayeon.

“How’s the competition?” She sits down, tentative if this is the right time to talk about this subject.

Mina doesn’t react.

Is it enough?

Coming in second means that possible sponsors will have to reconsider taking Mina in. She’s been doing so well in winning places that are always behind the number one. For someone like  Mina, that’s a big blow to her ego. Was that all that she practiced for? To come in second? Always?

At this point, Nayeon is talking to a brick wall as Mina blankly stares ahead. She frowns, brows coming together. Nayeon snaps her fingers hard, does it several times until Mina blinks and looks up at her.

“Is it that bad?” 

Still settling for silence, Nayeon has no other choice but to pull her phone out and hopes that Mina’s name comes first in the searches alongside today’s competition. Skipping the first few introductory paragraphs of the article, Nayeon finally locates the list of winners.

“You came second?” Bewildered, her jaw slightly hangs open. “You’re upset that you came in second? Wow.”

Hurt flashes in Mina’s eyes. It stings and Mina doesn’t need it slapped to her face again.

“I get it. Don’t worry, every athlete has their own perception of what winning and losing is. But you, I think you’re amazing and you did enough.”

“That doesn’t erase another second place in my record, you know that. Sponsors are hard to come by and I need to pull a first to secure one.”

“Hold on,” Nayeon leaves and later returns with a granola bar handing it over to Mina. “That’s consolation from me, I don’t have cash with me right now so… But, we still have next year. It means a lot to me too. If I don’t get a sponsor or be scouted for the National Team, it’s going to big time. Coming second isn’t going to stop you from getting a sponsor, it’s going to come. Not now, probably, but it will and you sulking over coming second won’t matter once you get it.”

“And if I don’t get it?”

“Why are you so pessimistic? Momo’s told me how great of a swimmer you are-”

“-I’m not as good as her!” Retorts Mina raising her voice.

“You don’t have to be as good as Momo! You’re not supposed to compare yourself with other athletes, that’s like the unspoken code and if you can’t do that you’re going to be stuck - competition is good but if you do it this way, it’s unhealthy. Stop looking at Momo and focus on your own lane. You’re not going to win if you keep looking at your opponents, look ahead Mina.”

Mina blinks the tears away from streaming down, picks up the plastic bag full of alcohol. “Can we just go?”

Again, Nayeon doesn’t push her way with Mina. She never does.

/

“Mina wait up,” Nayeon huffs. She holds up a hand then tries to stretch her muscles. “God that hurts- okay, how do we do this?”

Mina carries the plastic bag that contains the other bottles that weren’t able to fit inside the bag. She bites her lower lip in worry and says, “No one’s patrolling outside the dorm right now so we need to go through a window.”

Thankfully in that short span of time walking to the dorms calmed Mina down from her bubbling emotions. 

“What?” Nayeon gasps. “Jeongyeon told you to do that didn’t she?”

“Yes and it so happens that my balcony window has an emergency stairs beside it.”

“ Unbelievable.”

But Nayeon has no other choice. She follows Mina behind.

“We can’t use the back doors anymore. They’ve locked it already and the clubs checked around for other routes and the window is the only option. We can’t go through the front doors since they’ll check our things.” Mina adds, feels like she has to for Nayeon not to start any other topic.

“And you agreed to this?”

“Momo and my roommate kind of forced me..”

It happened when Mina had just returned from the competition, itching to bury herself under  her covers. The deal with Momo and Mina’s roommate is that, if Mina doesn’t agree they’ll lock her out of her room and instead lock her inside Momo and Nayeon’s room. Now the thing about being locked inside a room with Nayeon doesn’t sit well with Mina. Sure, Nayeon is harmless and good in nature but she can’t guarantee that she herself won’t spill things. The dramatic kind of things.

The one that involves feelings. Not ideal, too soon.

And after that almost outburst earlier at the store, Mina can’t guarantee to keep things down.

Nayeon, this Mina figured as she spent her time away from Nayeon reflecting, has a way of luring Mina into a space of vulnerability and she can’t feel but let her thoughts out in the open. When Nayeon had asked her what she thought of her, Mina was lucky she got herself together.

So she’s here with Nayeon climbing the emergency stairs attached right beside her room’s balcony.

A couple of grunts and heaves as Nayeon pulls through despite her muscles aching, they’ve finally entered Mina’s room. She stops and observes the small space as she was unable to do so before. Really, it wasn’t any of her intention to walk in while Mina is changing.

“You like mint green and black?” Nayeon points out to the space with Mina’s university jacket hanging onto a chair. Her covers are layers of mint green and black while the pillows are mostly white patterned of mint. From the decorative litter on what Nayeon supposes to be Mina’s desk, the color only ranges between the different shades of black and mint green.

“I like purple,” she mutters absentmindedly.

(Mina has to write that down.)

“Are you going to with them at the lounge?” Nayeon asks and checks her phone again for the time. It’s already 1:13 AM. “Oh that’s right, I asked Momo to cook me noodles. You want some?”

“Some other time?” Instead Mina offers her a smile.

That’s enough for Nayeon.

“Nayeon! Mina!”

Momo and Jeongyeon come running to them, wide smiles coats their faces, and they snatch Nayeon’s bag and Mina’s like thieves to feast on the drinks. Apparently, they have a juice dispenser already set up at the pantry and everyone who’s watching agreed to mix the alcohol with the juice.

It’s a more toned down party with athletes leisurely going back and forth from the pantry to the lounge to get refills. Nayeon prefers this one rather than plastic saucers flying around the area and cringe-y bass boosted music playing in the background.

“Oh my god,” Dahyun from the archery team gasps seeing that Sana (a senior in track and field) puts on another movie. “You are not playing The Handmaiden!”

“Watch me.” There’s a smirk on Sana’s face. She blows Dahyun an air kiss before playing the movie which earns Dahyun snickers from everyone around her. Defeated, she sinks back on the cushion.

“What’s so special about the movie?” Mina asks, seeing how deflated Dahyun is.

Momo laughs and shakes her head. “Besides the plot? There’s and that stuff between two girls.” Momo snorts again. Sana has purposely sat beside Dahyun. “Look at her,” She points to the track and field athlete for Mina to see. “I won’t be surprised if that girl runs away from the girl beside her. Too aggressive.”

“Like you’re not,” Nayeon butts in before inhaling the remains of her cup noodles.

“We both enjoyed it, Nayeon.” Momo plays along.

“ You enjoyed it the most Miss Hirai.”

(Mina wants to disappear.)

Instead, she shifts uncomfortably beside Momo, her features revealing the slight discomfort from the exchange. Momo catches the way Mina’s eyes linger on Nayeon but she can’t point out what it is that Mina is meaning to say.

Mina sinks deeper into the couch like so with her thoughts. This is what she dislikes about Nayeon and Momo’s relationship. She knows they’re strictly friends and the one night stand is a past joke between them but she can’t (she tries to) help but feel insecure. She hasn’t delved into that territory yet and she thinks she won’t be anytime soon. But besides that, she can’t help but be insecure towards Momo, thinking that she’s better. Like always.

Of course, Momo is better than me.

She’s not Momo.

Momo’s leagues away from her. It’s like competition with a sure and predictable winner: Hirai Momo.

If Nayeon did like her then she could’ve shown interest in her more. Not that Mina is demanding anything from Nayeon because she herself can’t even approach Nayeon the way she wants to, but if she were interested in Mina, Nayeon could’ve wooed her. Momo and Nayeon had and that must mean there’s wooing that happened. That Nayeon had so much interest in Momo they ended up together in one bed, ing.

That kind of thing.

But Im Nayeon is not doing anything.

Mina thinks she’s getting her hopes up for nothing.

/

Dahyun had given up, her soul lost not because of the movie but because of the constant unnecessary clinginess and flirtatious words Sana threw at her. Before the second movie could play, she had escaped the scene and fled to her own room. Momo’s barely hanging on, head swaying side to side as it progresses. Momo jolts from time to time when the noisier girls howl at certain parts.

Looking around, they slowly wither like leaves. Some come and go from the pantry to the lounge trying to keep the scene alive.

Jeongyeon is probably sleeping and Chaeyoung would presumably be at her own room by now staying up sketching things.

“Hey Mina,” Nayeon calls, already up on her feet and a hand reaching out towards the swimmer. “It’s getting boring here. I wanna show you something.”

Then there’s suddenly a hand tugging at her wrist and everything flashes before her again. She feels like a high school girl all over again, can’t say no to Nayeon so she follows her lead, and they make a quick detour to the pantry for Nayeon to steal two bottles of soju that she securely hid earlier. They climb the emergency staircase, going four levels up without pause despite Nayeon feeling the aches around her body.

It’s past 3 AM and Mina is sure they shouldn’t be at the dorm’s rooftop because the sign at the door clearly says “Staffs Only” yet here she is basking in its glory: the rooftop used as a storage space for unused items, the night sky enveloping the whole city in serene darkness.

Nayeon rummages through the cabinets at the side and to Mina’s surprise the soccer player pulls out a black duvet.

“Just how many times have you done this before?” Mina asks - eyes searching her surroundings and finds items from stock balls to wooden bunk beds. It’s a variety of sorts as if made to be a junk shop (or a thrift shop) instead of a storage as she discovers more items.

Nayeon flaps the duvet a couple of times before she sets it down beside the wooden bunk bed. Happily diving into the fabric, Nayeon pleasantly sighs. It's been a long day and there's nothing more satisfying than lying down on a thick, soft duvet (with Mina). “Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung dragged me here one time. They always tell me to stop working my off too much and get some rest. See the bottles over there?” she points at the stacked boxes beside the door.

“Those are all the bottles they drank. I probably have at least two in there.”

The soccer player follows Mina’s figure, still taking careful steps around the place as if she’s going to get caught. Presumably, if the staff ever go on a surprise check they can get in trouble. But she doesn’t worry about it too much - loves that Mina settles down beside her.

“If you can’t drink well why’d you bring two bottles? I’m not carrying you back down,” Mina says, smiling at the pout that emerges from Nayeon, momentarily forgets that they’re in restricted territory (and that she should be upset with Nayeon).

“We’re going to practice drinking,” Nayeon pops the two bottles open, spirit quietly fizzing, then hands Mina one. “But we’re not going to drink it as fast as we can. Bit by bit.”

“And we’re doing this because?”

Nayeon drinks her share and the visible disgust comes through her features. Mina giggles (and Nayeon loves it).

“Do you have a schedule tomorrow?” Nayeon still tastes the bitterness on her tongue, her face covered in displease.

Mina stares at her bottle, contemplating about this proposed idea. Should she? “After lunch and then at night.” She drinks the same amount as Nayeon then shares the same face of disgust after.

“Great! We can sleep in then!”

They act as if nothing had happened at the store.

The swimmer rests her back on the edge of the bunk bed, and she’s come to another realization about Im Nayeon and her words, her ways. If she were to compare how Nayeon gets things done her way, it’s like believing in a supposed well thought piece of essay but when you look at it, analyze it as it is, it only uses big words that makes her brain believe and suspend the idea of it being wrong. Mina, despite knowing this, still believes everything in Nayeon.

In the midst of Mina getting lost in her own thoughts, Nayeon studies, lets herself take Mina in more than she could before. God, why does Mina have to be this beautiful? Nayeon can’t stop but feel nervous.

She pauses.

Mina is so patient with her.

Just why the hell did their first meeting have to be that way?

Another pause.

There are a lot of things that Im Nayeon has grown to love about Myoui Mina: the way she shakes her head to fix her bangs, the way her smile is a soft and gummy one, the way everything falls perfectly into place when Mina finds her peace and her eyes lit up; or the simplest way that she's grown to love Mina.

Breaking her gaze, the epiphany makes Nayeon take another gulp from her bottle, eyes wide at the idea of how real that is.

Her heart picks up the moment she looks back at Mina again, closer she moves to the swimmer, taking in again the beautiful constellations that always made her feel at ease; sees another mole on Mina’s neck.

“ Nayeon ?” Albeit surprised at the finger poking at her neck, it’s no contender to how close Nayeon actually is with her. She holds back a gasp, one that she can’t possibly let out as the soccer player moves closer – this is not what she meant by Nayeon making the move.

It’s too soon. Too fast.

“ What are you doing ?” Mina says in the softest whisper. Nayeon stops advancing, retracts her hand from Mina, and she smiles despite how numbing her heart is making her feel.

“I love your moles,” Nayeon mindlessly confesses, her eyes swaying from Mina’s mole to her lips. It’s a game of patience and Nayeon is carelessly playing it.

That too fast comes down to a gradual slow down. Mina meets Nayeon by the eyes, holding an unannounced contest of who’s going to break first, and she tries not to get distracted by the small smile playing on Nayeon’s lips.

There’s still a very reasonable distance between them but the way Nayeon is looking at her, eyes half-lidded and lost in thought (in Mina), makes it feel like they’re only inches apart – close to touch and seal the deal. But Nayeon makes it stop, she’s staring at her again.

“This one’s my favorite,” Nayeon breathes, focused on Mina’s lips rather than the mole near it. Soft.

And Nayeon is on the move again, Mina thinks it’s going too slow.

“Are you drunk?” She looks at the bottle in Nayeon’s hold, far from half and Nayeon is thinking of kissing Mina.

“I don’t feel that I am but I think like it,” She takes a quick peek at Mina, soft and glowing that Nayeon doesn’t understand how when the clouds are everywhere hiding the moon and stars. She breathes again and mutters, “I think I want to kiss you.”

Nayeon puts the bottle aside, somewhere she won’t knock it over, and now she’s sitting beside Mina, a hand on both sides of the swimmer’s body like she’s trapped her and it’s up to her if she’ll let Nayeon in.

It strains Mina to have Nayeon this close, sober and conscious of everything that she’s doing to her, that she wants to kiss her. Before, agreeing to Im Nayeon was clearly not a mistake. Like she’s one of the many lost pieces that makes up of Mina. But now that she’s face to face with her, eyes boring into her own feels like everything came down to a slow dance of a song meant to be danced at a faster tempo.

“Breathe Mina,” Nayeon whispers. Their foreheads meet, Mina’s lips are a few inches from Nayeon’s pair, and Nayeon smiles, albeit small, when Mina finally breathes the tension away.

“Can I kiss you?”

It comes out airy and smaller than Nayeon intended to. A hand cups her cheek, warm to the touch and gentle, it’s Nayeon’s turn to hold her breath. Mina holds her, thumb ghosting on delicate skin it bores goosebumps to Nayeon’s arms.

Mina leans in.

Neither push anything, staying still to make sure this is real and not out of emotions that abruptly surged through. Another hand cups Nayeon’s cheek. The soccer star pulls back - just enough so she can still admire everything that is Mina and that Mina can still feel Nayeon against her.

“Hey,” Eyes flutter open - one that makes Nayeon suddenly shy, more than enough to make her melt.

Mina is soft.

Rather than feeling her feelings, Nayeon captures Mina’s lips again - it’s softer, her lower lip caught between Nayeon's own pair.

Kissing Im Nayeon is the biggest leap her heart has ever taken yet it feels like she’s won a risky bargain. Like she’s won Im Nayeon and that itself feels the most memorable out of all medals she’s won, that in this moment if Nayeon asks her again if she’s happy she’s going to say “Yes and it’s because of you.” 

Still, Mina holds Nayeon between her hands hoping that she won’t go away. That this is not a mistake: to let Im Nayeon in.

To hold Im Nayeon this close, to have Myoui Mina hold her like this - the flashes become stronger and move vibrant, slowly coming to life the more they kiss. The more emotions and feelings get involved. If this was a movie, Mina thinks (still), it’s a peculiar mix of romance and subtle hints of fantasy. Except, this is real.

They pull away but Nayeon insists resting her forehead against Mina’s.

“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” Mina tucks the hair behind Nayeon’s ears, hands never forgetting to return and hold her face.

“No,” Nayeon flatly denies, bumping her nose next to Mina’s. “Do you want me to kiss you again to prove it?”

A smile plays on Nayeon’s lips and Mina doesn’t have to look because they’re close enough for her to feel everything.

(Mina knows it’s an excuse for Nayeon to kiss her again but she lets her do so.)

For the meantime, Mina forgets her fear, the insecurities that eat her up, and she just feels of how lovely it is to be with Im Nayeon, pulling her closer as if she were greedy to let others have a feel of Nayeon. Kissing Nayeon is breathing underwater for Mina, she won’t get suffocated and there are no currents to conquer.

Just her and Nayeon.

/

There are moments that replays over and over in Nayeon’s head whenever her thoughts transcend the casual.

First is the dream of the Nationals. Nayeon can picture and put herself in the same exact situation where she runs with the ball, dribbling it with her feet, and then she shoots and scores the team to victory.

It never gets old.

Jihyeon when she first stopped bawling when Nayeon had held her so close, a moment that no one could ever replace. Nayeon loves this one the most.

However, today, Nayeon drifts further away from these commonalities as she replays and relives the moment she and Mina had shared.

It’s crazy. Her heart was beating crazy mad during the entirety of their kiss.

/

“I messed it up!”

Momo lies down on the cold tiled floor. Personally, she hates it doing this because of the cold seeping through her body but after an outrageous lap she’s going to ignore that. The other thing that she has to deal with is Mina uncharacteristically panicking, which she only does when she’s ordered the wrong shade of mint green online.

Mina pulls at her swimmer cap, throws it at the side, then slumps down beside Momo who only watches her.

Frustrated with the silence, Mina yaps. “Are you not going to say anything?”

“You didn’t mess it up, Mina. Calm down, will you? That’s like your fourth lap for today, don't pressure it too much.”

“Easy for you to say,” Mina mumbles. But that isn’t the point here. “But that’s not what I meant.”

Undoubtedly there’s a resemblance between Mina and Nayeon now. Momo’s not going to entirely assume it’s because of Nayeon’s influence that her friend is acting the way that she is right now. But yeah, Nayeon is the only suspect.

Mina’s also been purposely avoiding the said soccer player for days now that Momo finds Mina always by her side every morning jog and lunch breaks. She’s either trying too hard to strike up a conversation and keep it going, knows that Nayeon doesn’t have the audacity to interrupt them, to keep her at bay.

Nayeon never really pushes herself to Mina.

Except that one night.

That one night that makes Mina’s head spin around and her thoughts speak so loud it keeps her awake at night.

“I broke the natural order of things Momo! This isn’t going to end well!”

“First of all, you’re not a space wizard or Doctor Strange for that to happen which means the world isn’t going to end. What could you possibly do?”

Mina’s going to reiterate how she’s a careful person that in everything she does is always a well thought plan, from the start to the end it’s flawless and is fail-proof. That is until Im Nayeon comes into the scene again.

The kiss plays repeatedly and Mina dreads the thought of what if Nayeon thinks she’s one desperate woman? She did kiss Nayeon first. Did Momo kiss Nayeon first or was it the other way around?

There are a lot that Mina could possibly worry about at the moment but she chooses to worry about Im Nayeon.  Not the written report due on Tuesday, not the beach camp a week from now. None of those because they’re not Im Nayeon.

“Is this about Nayeon? Freaking out isn’t really your thing, Minari.”

Exactly!

How is she supposed to break it to Momo that she and Nayeon kissed? It’s the biggest deal for Mina because relationships are more than dedication, discipline, the things that she knows and learns from swimming. It’s not supposed to be suffocating like this contrary to how it felt when their lips met.

Yet Mina knows where she stands with Nayeon. Her and Nayeon’s relationship - still nonexistent and draws the line at friends?

How is it possible for Mina to turn everything against her? That she ends up belittling everything that she’s accomplished?

Being pessimistic and having little to no confidence in her wins, Mina is dreaming of building something only to tear it up when it has yet to begin.