Their time  of  courtship  lasted only  seven  months.  Their happiness  was  measured  in  the  amount  of laughter they  shared,  the  amount  of  endless  nights  where  they  spent tangled  in  each other’s  arms, and the amount  of love  they  had  for  one  another.  Brief  kisses  on  the  college campus  sufficed whereas  the nights  satisfied. It  took  Chanyeol  two  weeks  to  come  down from  his composed cloud  to  gather  up  the courage  to  approach  the petite  and  lively  brunet  in  one  of his  classes,  but  it  only  took  Baekhyun  a second  to  say  yes to  whatever  the handsome  tall guy  was  asking  him. Within  a  month, they  learned about  each  other.  Baekhyun  was a  writer  majoring  in English and journalism,  though  he  didn’t  have  any  plans on  working  for any  magazines  or newspapers. He preferred writing  novels  and  being  his own  independent person.  Chanyeol  was in  marketing  and  business. Everyone  who  saw  them  thought  that  the  two  were  an  unlikely  pair. Baekhyun  was open  about  his thoughts  and  constantly  smiling, whereas  Chanyeol always had  this look  on  his face  along  with  a quiet demeanor.  Their differences went  deeper  than  their  majors and  personality. Baekhyun  liked his coffee with  milk  and  sugar and  wrote  works  of impossible  situation  and  fantasies. Chanyeol,  on  the  other  hand, liked  his coffee  black  and  preferred practicality  and  realism  over  fantasy.  People  believed Baekhyun’s outrageous and  fun  personality  would  never  click  with  Chanyeol’s collected  and  rational self, but  they were  wrong. Seven  months  of absolute  perfection, Chanyeol  proposed and  his petite  brunet,  Byun  Baekhyun, said yes.

They  waited a few  months  before  promising  to  love  each  other  until  Death  would  tear them  apart. After their graduation  and  wedding, they  found  an apartment. It  was  small, but  it  didn’t  bother  them. Baekhyun’s  touches  made  it  into  a  home;  a  home  that  Chanyeol  enjoyed  returning  back to  at  the  end  of a hard  day  at  work.  Every  night  he’d hold  Baekhyun  and  whisper  promises  of a  bigger  house, one  where he  could  decorate  to  a  broader  horizon. Chanyeol’s work  ethic  and  charming  personality  at  work enabled  him  to  climb up  the company  ladder quickly. As his income  rose,  so  did  their bank  account.  One night,  Chanyeol  gently  pulled Baekhyun’s laptop  away  from  him  and  set  it  on  a  nearby  coffee  table. Then he  kneeled before  him,  taking  his husband’s hand  in his. “Baek,”  he  started  slowly,  keeping  Baekhyun’s gaze,  “I  want to  buy  you  that  house  I’ve  always  been promising  to  buy  for  you  one  day.” With quivering  lips,  Baekhyun  nodded profusely  before  gasping, wrapping  his arms around  his husband’s neck  while  thanking  him. That  night  they  entangled  themselves  in  each  other,  savoring  the  touches  and making  love  slow  and  deep. ________________________________________ The  house  had  to  accommodate  what  Chanyeol thought  Baekhyun  needed for his line  of  work:  peace and  serenity. They  found  a  small, but  perfectly  quiet  estate  out  in a spaced out  higher  class neighborhood  out  near  the  country. When  Chanyeol looked  at  Baekhyun  and  asked, “What do  you think?”  he  already  knew  the  answer. “I love  it,  Yeol…” Smiling, Chanyeol  took  Baekhyun’s hand  in his.  “Then let’s get  it.” Looking  up  at  his husband,  Baekhyun  looked  a  bit  worried. “But  it’s  an  hour away  from  your  work.” Chanyeol  shrugged.  “If  you  love  it  then I don’t  mind  the  commute. It’s  only  sixty  minutes  to  and  then sixty  minutes  back.  It’s  not  an  impossible feat  to  commute  back and  forth.” After a  moment,  Baekhyun  asked him  again  if  it  was  really  alright. Chanyeol nodded  and  soon after,  the papers  were  signed. ________________________________________ The  arrangement  was  for  Chanyeol  to  travel back  and  forth from  work, but  as  time  dragged on,  work began  to  pile  and  pile,  causing  Chanyeol  to  work  overtime. As  the  endless  cycle  continued  on, he  found it hard  to  commute  on  a  daily  basis. He  often  found  himself  tired  and  blurry  eyed  when driving. Because of this,  he  had  to  drink  caffeine  before  driving, which  would  either cause  him  to  crash  during  work  or make  him  unable to  sleep  once  he  arrived back  at  home. Baekhyun  began  to  feel guilty  for enjoying  a  quiet  life  while  his husband  labored  to  give  him  that  type  of lifestyle. Contemplating  about  other  alternatives, Baekhyun  came  to  one  possible solution  to  the problem. “Chanyeol,  maybe  you  should  get  an  apartment  in  the  city,”  Baekhyun  gently  suggested at  the  dinner table  one  night. When he raised  his eyes  to  his husband, he  saw  tired  eyes  looking  back at  him. “You  want  me  to  get  a  what?”  Chanyeol  said, sounding  like  he  was  in disbelief. Sighing, Baekhyun  gave  him  a  concerned  look. “I  don’t  like  seeing  you  this  way  anymore,  Yeol.  Every  day you  go  to  work  looking  like  you’re  half  dead.  Then when  you  come  back,  you  end  up  looking  worse.  You spend  two  hours just  going  back and  forth.  That  could  be  time  that  you’d  be  using  to  get  more  sleep…” In  a  bad  mood,  Chanyeol rubbed the  corner  of his  eyes. “Baek,  I’m  fine.” “No,  you’re  not!”  Baekhyun  argued.  “Listen, an  apartment  could  mean—” '' I said  I’m  fine, Baek,”  Chanyeol  repeated  sharply. “Quit worrying, damn  it.” Baekhyun  grew  irritated  at  Chanyeol’s indifference. Setting  down  his utensils,  Baekhyun  stood  up  from the table.  “Well, is  it  wrong  to  worry  about  you!?”  he  cried  in a strained voice. Unlike  Baekhyun, Chanyeol  kept himself  in his seat.  “Baek,  sit  down.” With closed fists,  Baekhyun  glowered.  “No. Chanyeol,  you’re  not  hearing  me  out.  I just want  to  help you.” “Help  me?”  Chanyeol snapped.  “No,  Baek. To  me,  having  you  try  and  case  the idea of  me  getting  a separate  place  to  live  makes it  seem  like  you  want  me  gone.”  The  lack  of sleep  and  the  fact  that  he  had been  overworking  himself  did  no  good  other  than  make  him  more  irritable. Taken  aback,  Baekhyun  looked  shocked.  “That  is not  what I  want!” “Keep your  voice  down,  Baek,”  Chanyeol growled.  “You’re  being  too  loud.” Frustrated, Baekhyun  harshly  pushed  his chair in.  “I don’t  want  you  gone!  You’re  such  a  frustrating  man, but  damn  it,  I love  you! So  it  hurts  watching  you  add  two  more  hours  of stress  onto  your  day  just travelling  back  and  forth.”  Baekhyun  bit  his lips. “It  hurts  so  bad, Yeol,  but  you  don’t  see  it  because  the moment you  step  into  this  house,  you  fall asleep.  You  don’t  even  look  at  me  anymore  because  you’re that tired.” For a  moment, Baekhyun  waited  for a  response,  but  Chanyeol  remained static.  Then he  said,  “You’re being  overdramatic,”  he  muttered. Baekhyun  felt  as  if he  was  just  struck.  It  was  obvious that  there  was  no  reaching  Chanyeol.  His husband refused to  listen  to  him  and  even  had  the  outlandish  audacity  to  call  him  out  for  being  “overdramatic” when in  fact,  he  was  just  expressing  his concerns.  Shaking, he  turned and  left  the  table before  Chanyeol could  see  the  bitter  tears forming  in his  eyes. ________________________________________ When Chanyeol’s  mind  was finally  in full  clarity,  he  re-evaluated Baekhyun’s proposal the  night  before. He  admitted  his  fault in not  allowing  Baekhyun  the  chance  to  present his  case,  but  ultimately  blamed the lack  of  sleep for  causing  his sour and  disagreeable  mood  that night. Finally  willing  to  hear  out  his husband,  Chanyeol  knocked  on  Baekhyun’s  closed and  locked office  door. “Baek,  I know  you’re  in there. Open up.”  As a  minute  passed by,  Chanyeol knocked again. “Baekhyun, open the  door.  We  need to  talk and  you  letting  me  just  stand  out  here  is  wasting  time.” It wasn’t  long  until  Chanyeol heard  Baekhyun  unlock  the  door.  Letting  himself  in,  Chanyeol  watched as Baekhyun  turned his back  to  him  to  sit  back down  at  his desk. Chanyeol wasn’t amused at  Baekhyun’s decision  to  give  him  the cold  shoulder,  but  he  rationed  that  he  probably  deserved  it. Neither  of  them spoke  for  the  longest  time  until Chanyeol set  his hands on  the  back  of  Baekhyun’s chair, leaning  over him. “Baek…”  he  said, softly. “You  know  I  don’t  like  it  when  you  ignore  me…” Turning  his head around, Baekhyun  gave  the giant  a  sad, but  angry  look.  “But  when I actually  care,  I’m overdramatic,  right?” In  that  moment,  Chanyeol  regretted not  biting  down  his tongue  the night  before. He  knew  that  they were  different.  Baekhyun  liked  to  voice  himself  out  whether  that  meant  moving  his hands or straining his voice,  whereas  he  liked  to  keep  things settled.  But  sometimes he’d forget  that  Baekhyun’s habits made  Baekhyun  himself, insult  those  intricate  details,  and  ultimately  hurting  his  spouse.With a solemn  look  on  his face,  Chanyeol swiveled Baekhyun’s chair  around  and  pulled him  up. When Baekhyun  resisted, Chanyeol tugged a  little  bit stronger  until Baekhyun  reluctantly  stood  up. Engulfing him  in his arms,  Chanyeol nestled  his  face  against  the  top  of  Baekhyun’s head. “I  didn’t  mean  that.”  Slightly  rocking  their  bodies from  side to  side, Chanyeol  continued.  “I’m  sorry, Baek.” It seemed like  forever  before  Baekhyun  finally  moved  his arms,  slowly  touching  Chanyeol’s chest  with the tip  of his fingertips before  wrapping  his  arms around  his waist.  “You’ve  been  really  moody  lately, Yeol…” Chanyeol  pursed his lips. He  knew  his  mood  was  in  the  gutters lately—in  fact,  for  weeks.  Lack  of  sleep and  overtime  did  its  damage. It  was clear to  him, though, that  the  damage  was not  only  done  to  himself and  his body, but  his relationship  with  his  husband  as  well.  “I know. I’m  sorry.” To  Chanyeol, there  wasn’t  much he  could  do  other  than  say  he  apologies. He  couldn’t  make  promises. He  couldn’t  make  promises  to  get  home  more  early,  to  cut  work, or to  get  more  sleep. Promises  like those  were  impractical because  he  didn’t  know  if he  could  even uphold  them. It  was  better  to  give  no promises  at  all  rather than  to  give  a  hallow  one. If he  hadn’t  been listening  or if  the room  hadn’t  been  as quiet  as  it  was,  Chanyeol  would  never  have heard  Baekhyun’s sniffle.  When he  tried to  look  at  his face,  Baekhyun  only  hugged tighter,  pressing  his face  harder  against  Chanyeol’s chest,  restricting  him  from  seeing. Chanyeol stood  still for a  while  and only  moved to  place  a  soft  kiss  on  top  of  Baekhyun’s head. “I shouldn’t  have  shut  you  down,”  Chanyeol  admitted.  “You  were  just  trying  to  help.” A silent  moment passed before  Baekhyun  lifted his  head  up. “I’m  worried about  you. You  know  that, right?”  Chanyeol nodded.  “Sometimes  I think  that getting  this house  all the  way  over  here  was  amistake. I feel so  guilty  at  night,  Yeol,”  he  cried with a  breaking  voice.  “You  did  all  this for  me  and  now you’re  like  this.  I—” Chanyeol  cut  him  off  with a  sharp  look  in  his  eyes.  “Stop  it. You  have  no  right  feeling  guilty  about anything. I love  you. I did  this for  you.  Why  I’m  like  this has nothing  to  do  with  you, though. It’s because of work, so  don’t  go  blaming  yourself for  my  lows.” “But  if  we  had  just  picked  some  place  in  the  city, then—” “It’d  still  be  the  same,”  Chanyeol  argued.  “It’d still be  the  same  amount  of work  load  and  the  same amount  of  unreasonable issues I have  to  go  through  on  a  day  to  day  basis.  Plus,  you  wouldn’t  have  the quiet  life  you  need  to  concentrate  on  your books,  and  I know  how  important  the  one  you’re  working  on right  now  is. It’s  your debut  novel and  you  don’t  need  any  distractions.  That’s  why  we’re  here.  That’s why  I chose  listed places  where  it’s  quiet. I did  it  for you  and  if I had  the chance  to  change  anything  back to  when we  were  house  hunting, I wouldn’t  change  anything, because  I promised  you  something  like this and  I got  it. It’s  our little  haven from  the city,  Baek.” Biting  his lips, Baekhyun  glanced down. He  dropped his hold  around  Chanyeol’s  waist  and, instead, held him  by  his  shirt.  “The  commute  is  too  long. It’s too  long. You  drive  in  the  early  morning  and  late  at  night. I don’t  want  you  to  get  into  an accident  because  you’re  too  dead tired to  keep  your eyes  open,”  he  said. With a shaky  breath, Baekhyun  exhaled  and  looked back  up. “Chanyeol, please  consider  buying  a temporary  apartment  in  the  city. Just  somewhere  where  you  can  go  to  if  you  find  that  you  don’t  have  it in  you  to  come  home.” Chanyeol  unhinged his mouth to  argue,  but  Baekhyun  gave  him  a  look.  “I don’t  want  you  gone  and  I don’t  like  the  idea  of us being  separated, but  if it’s  easier on  you  and  your body,  then—” “Baek,  at  least  at  the  end  of the  day  there’s  you,”  Chanyeol  interrupted.  “I  might  be  tired as hell and  I might  look  like  hell, but  at  least  I get  to  come  home  to  you.” “If you  fall  asleep driving, then no, Chanyeol,”  Baekhyun  said  in a stern, broken  voice.  “You  won’t.  You’d be  dead and  the  next  place  I’d  be  seeing  you  is  at  the  morgue,  identifying  your body!” Chanyeol  dropped his  arms  and  put  his hands on  Baekhyun’s shoulders.  “Baek—” “Yeol, I  did  the  math,  alright?”  Baekhyun  said,  trying  to  change  the subject  from  something  less  morbid. “It’s  easier  and  more  convenient  than  having  to  check  into  a  hotel over  and  over  again.” “Baek,  I don’t  care,”  Chanyeol groaned.  “If anything, you’re  the  only  one  keeping  my  feet  on  the ground—keeping  me  sane.  Sleeping  at  some  apartment  in  the  city  might  mean I get  an hour or  two more  of sleep, but  that’d  be  ing  isolating  me  from  you,  damn  it!” “Then let’s  sell  the house!”  Baekhyun  said  desperately. Chanyeol  looked at  him  aghast. “What?” Baekhyun  furrowed his brows. “Let’s  sell it.  Let’s  move  back to  the city. It’ll  be—” “No,”  Chanyeol said  adamantly. “We’re  not  selling  this  house. I got  this house  for  you  because  it’s perfect  for  you  and  what  you  need.” “But,  Chanyeol—” “I said  no, Baekhyun,”  Chanyeol  said, giving  Baekhyun  an apologetic  look.  “I don’t  want  you  to  have  to give  this  up. I don’t  want  to  take  you  to  a  place  where  it’s  always about  the fast  life—the loud  hustling and  bustling  of the  city.” Moments  passed before  Baekhyun  asked,  “Then  what  do  you  want to  do?” Looking  down at  him,  Chanyeol rubbed the  back  of his  neck  before  cupping  one  side  of  Baekhyun’s cheek.  “Fine.  We’ll…”  He  clicked  his  tongue  and  heaved  a  deep  breath.  “We’ll  look  for  something—but we’re  gonna sit  down and  plan  everything  out,”  he  said  sharply. “Like, if I’m  scheduled  to  have  a  busy week,  you  have  to  come  and  visit  me  at  least  four  times a  week  to  cook  for  me  something. Because  I need  you, too, Baek. Not  just  sleep.  I need  you  in bed  with  me,  whether  that’s to  just  go  to  bed together or to  do  something  more.” Slowly, Baekhyun  nodded,  slightly  happy  that  Chanyeol had  agreed.  “We  won’t  let  distance  be  a problem.  We’ll  call—No, I’ll  call. I’ll call during  your lunch breaks  and  everything. You  have  to  call  me  if you  decide  you  want  to  come  home  for  the night,  but  as  for the  weekends, you  have  to  try  and  come back  for  at  least  those  two  days. Saturday  and  Sunday,  I mean, because  I need  you, too.” Catching  and  interlacing  their hands together, Chanyeol relaxed  his  shoulders.  “When  do  you  want  to  go start  looking?” “Doesn’t  everything  we  do  depend  around  your schedule?”  Baekhyun  kindly  reminded with  an attempted  smile. The  remark  was  true.  Everything  that  they  did  together had  to  fit  with Chanyeol’s  schedule. It  didn’t used to  be. Back  in  their newly  wed  period, Chanyeol  wasn’t as  busy  as he  used to  be  and  had  more room  to  change  his activities  at  work. Now,  it  was structured.  Some  things like  meetings and presentations couldn’t  be  move, and  it  was  very  rare  for anything  else  to  be  rescheduled  just  because someone  wanted a  day  off  with their  spouse  or lover.  Even  though  things had  changed, they  had learned how  to  cope  with  these  strained changes,  especially  Baekhyun. Chanyeol  was slow  at  noticing, but  it was  only  because  he  was  part  of it  all. Baekhyun  noticed  more  because  he  was  the  one  sitting  idly, watching  his husband  go  up  in rank  and  leaving  him  at  the beginning. “Let’s  go  when you  have  a  day  off.” ''I don't  have  any  days  off,  Baek.” Baekhyun  gave  him  a  small  laugh  and  a  light  punch on  the  side.  “I  know.”  He  sighed in  an exaggerated fashion  and  shrugged.  “I’ll  look  at  listings and  we  can  go  together  when you  do  have  the time.  If not,  I’ll do  it  for  you.” After studying  Baekhyun’s face  for a  moment,  Chanyeol softly  asked,  “Are  you  sure about  this?” Gently,  Baekhyun  nodded  his head. “Yes. It’ll  just  be  like  owning  two houses. It’ll  be  fine.”  Hugging Chanyeol  again, Baekhyun  buried  his face  in  Chanyeol’s chest  again  as  his  husband  wrapped  his arms around  him.  “We’ll be  fine.” ________________________________________ “Fine” perfectly  described  their situation, but  fine  only  lasted  a  while. For  weeks  their arrangement turned out  okay. After finding  an apartment for Chanyeol  when he  didn’t  feel like  he  could  safely  go home,  they  put  their plan  into  effect.  On  nights  when  Chanyeol  decided  to  stay  in  the  city, Baekhyun—if he  could—would  quickly  prepare  some  food, take  a  fairly long  ride  on  the  subway, and  then a  cab  just  to go  give  Chanyeol  his dinner. He  always  made  sure  that  the  food  tasted just right  and  that  it  was something  Chanyeol  was  probably  craving,  which  he  had  developed a  sixth  sense  for after  being  married for nearly  two  years. Chanyeol  tried  to  go  home  on  the  weekends like  they  had  arranged, but  he  found  that  exhaustion  would just  devour him  by  the  end  of the  week  and  wouldn’t  allow  him  the  well-being  enough  to  do  so. So, after many attempts and  a  few  successful tries,  Baekhyun  smiled at  him  and  told  him  that  it was alright  to stay  in  city  and  that  he  didn’t  need  to  strain  himself  just  to  go  home. At  first  Chanyeol  was  hesitant  in accepting  Baekhyun’s  kind  gesture,  but  in the  end  he  began  staying  the weekends in the  city. And  even though  the  apartment  was  supposed to  be  used for  those  difficult  moments  when  he  couldn’t  get himself home,  Chanyeol began  to  use  it frequently  each  week  until it’d  been  months since  he  last stepped foot  on  the  property  he  had  gotten  for the  two  of them. In  a  way, their little haven  was  blurred in  his memory, replaced by  the  practical function  that  the large  one  bedroom  apartment  in  the  city  had to  offer:  convenience. ________________________________________ On Baekhyun’s part,  he  began  to  frequent the  apartment less  and  less  due  to  the  deadline  of his  first book.  He  would  take  the  time  and  try  to  reach Chanyeol by  phone  or  video  call  when he  could, but  like everything  else,  those  moments  declined in  numbers  also.  When  Chanyeol  was  working  at  the  office, Baekhyun  was  sleeping  after  writing  and  planning  until  the  break  of dawn  when  he  would  finally collapse  on  his  bed alone.   And  in the rarity  of those  moments  when Baekhyun  would  have  luck  on  his side  when calling  his husband, their conversations were  always brief  and  generic.  Overtime,  it  had  gotten bland  with the casual and  usual questions  of  “How  have  you  been?”  and  “Have  you  eaten  yet?”  The  calls  were  always kept  brief  because  of the  simple fact  they  both  knew  how  one  or  the  other  either needed  to  go  to  sleep or go  to  work. One night  as Baekhyun  lied  alone  in  their bed with  nothing  to  look  at,  but  the  full  moon  glowing  past  the window  and  the  soft  waving  of the  thin  curtains, he  thought  about  their  decision. He  contemplated about  what  was happening. He  felt  a  rift  between  them.  Distance  was  not  a  kind  factor,  but  nor was  it an  impossible feat  to  overcome. The  fact  that  they  rarely  saw  each  other in  person  wasn’t  a  very  big factor.  To  him,  it  was  more. Distance  didn’t  matter because  even if  they  were  living  under  the same roof, the  situation  still  wouldn’t  change. Both  of them  would  still  be  too  busy  for  each other. It’d  be  the same situation, but  with different  circumstances. Back  in  college,  Baekhyun  held  an interest  in  different  languages. One  of  the  things  he’d often  do  to Chanyeol  was  leave  him  messages in  foreign  languages  that he  knew  his business-minded boyfriend would  have  no  idea  how  to  read. To  him, that  was  the  fun  part;  watching  Chanyeol do  work in deciphering  his message. Baekhyun  always  made  sure  to  keep  his  messages  simple, but  meaningful.  Often  times, they  were  just  “I love  you”  notes. Chanyeol,  despite  looking  and  acting  like  a  cold-shouldered brute,  would  always  write back  the  words, but  in  Korean, the  language  that the  both  of them  shared. ________________________________________ One of  the  things that  Baekhyun  picked up  in his  many  days  of following  Chanyeol  around  the  library was  an  interest  in  binary  codes. As Chanyeol  would  sit  and  look  through  stacks  and  stacks  of  reference books for  an  upcoming  test  or quiz  in  one  of his  classes, Baekhyun  would  look  over  the  shoulders  of other  students,  observing  them  as  he  usually  did  since  he  was  more  of an  observer  than  a  doer. It  wasn’t until he looked over  one  student’s  book  that his interest  was  caught  by  the  amount  of  ones  and  zeros on the page. The  student  was  writing  in  a language  Baekhyun  recognized, but  their  eyes  were  glued to  the book. It took  a  moment  for  him  to  realize  that  they  were  translating  the  numbers. No  matter how  much he stared, Baekhyun  couldn’t  figure  out  how  the  hell they  were  getting  letters from  what looked  like  a random  arrangement  of  the first  two  positive  numbers—though  one  could  argue  that  zero  is  neutral. It was  then that  Baekhyun  stepped back  and  ran back  to  where  Chanyeol sat. Then  he  quickly  asked  his knowledgeable  boyfriend  what he  just  saw,  to  which  Chanyeol  answered  with his usual face,  “It’s  binary code,  Baek.” Binary. Binary  was simple,  yet  secretive  to  a  point  where  only  a  few  of  the  general  public  could  understand. Not only  that, but  it  had  some  sort  of  “cool”  factor to  it  that  drew  Baekhyun  in.  Cracking  a  large  smile, Baekhyun  thanked  Chanyeol, quickly  kissing  his bookworm  boyfriend  before  wandering  around  the library  in search of  something  that  would  teach  him  the  art  of Binary. ________________________________________ In  their early  days together  as  a  married  couple, back  in  their tiny  apartment, the  two  of  them  would dedicate  Saturdays  to  movies. Some  days  they  would  watch romantic  comedies  and  other  days,  they would  watch a  dramatic  family  movie  that  would  leave  one  of  them—most  of the  time,  Baekhyun—in tears. In  times like  those,  Chanyeol would  pet  Baekhyun’s head and  tell him  not  to  cry,  that  it  was  just  a  movie, and  that  crying  wouldn’t  change  anything  about  what  just  happened.  To  that, Baekhyun  would  huff and argue,  challenging  Chanyeol by  asking  him  whether  or not  it  was wrong  to  wish for a different  outcome. Chanyeol  would  always answer,  telling  him  that  there  was  no  point  in wanting  a  different  ending because  the  movie  was  done  and  there  was  nothing  changing  it. Baekhyun  would  proceed to  call  him  an insensitive  brute,  to  which  Chanyeol  would  ignore  the  remark,  lean  over,  and  kiss  Baekhyun’s  movieinduced tears  away. ________________________________________ Once Baekhyun’s  first  book  was published, he  finally  felt  free. He  felt  as if he  could  finally  go  visit Chanyeol  and  visit  him, but  with  the  success  that came  with its  publication, a  full  schedule also  ensued. The  one  night  that  Baekhyun  went  to  visit  Chanyeol, it  was  spent  with general talk. Baekhyun  still said  “I love  you”  and  Chanyeol  also, but  it  didn’t  have  the  same  warmth dripping  from  the  words like  it used to way  back  when. And  when they  made  love  that night,  there  was  a  need, but  all  the  while,  it  felt  forced.  Both  of  them  felt it. They  felt  the  rift  between  them.  There  was  a  fear between  them  that  they  sought  to  fill  up  by  making love  like  they  used  to, but  there  was no  helping  it. Chanyeol  was  tired. Baekhyun  was tired.  But,  they  still put  up  the  effort  to  feel something  despite  craving  sleep and  rest  over  a  lustful  night  with each  other. ________________________________________ Board  games  were  something  that  they  used  to  enjoy  on  Friday  nights.  When  Chanyeol  would  come home  at  around  six,  Baekhyun  would  prepare dinner  and  pick out  a  game  board  to  play  with.  After eating, brushing  their  teeth, and  a  little  bit  of heated  play,  they  would  take  out  the  game  and  begin. Sometimes  there  were  stakes. One  time,  they  played  Monopoly. Every  time  Chanyeol  would  buy  out one  of Baekhyun’s  properties,  the  smaller  guy  had  to  take  something  off.  Chanyeol—being  the  business major—always played tactfully  and  would  have  Baekhyun  stark    within  the  first  thirty  minutes  of the game. Their board  game  nights  would  never  last  long.  The  creaking  of  the  bed would  always last  longer  than their games. And  when they  finished, Chanyeol would  whisper,  “I win.”  Baekhyun  would  smirk,  pull them  closer  and  shake  his  head. “No. I  won,”  he’d say, kissing  Chanyeol  deeply. “You’re  mine. Forever.” ________________________________________ “I’ve  got  a book  sign  event  this weekend,  Yeol,”  Baekhyun  said, smiling  into  the  webcam. Chanyeol  returned  him  a tired smile.  “Really, now. Your book’s  doing  good?” Nodding, Baekhyun  grinned. “Yeah,  it’s  pretty  high  up  on  the  charts  for  new  authors. I’m  really  happy about  that.” Congratulations,  Baek.” “Thanks,  Yeol.”  There  was  an  elongated silence  following  them  for  a second.  “So,  will you  come? Please?” Opening  his mouth, Chanyeol hesitated.  He  knew  that  he  most  likely  wouldn’t  be  able  to  go  so  he  didn’t know why  he  said,  “Sure.” Beyond  Chanyeol’s  notice,  Baekhyun’s  eyes  lit  up. “Buy  a  book!  I’ll sign  it  for you!”  he  joked.  Then he glanced down  at  the  time.  “Ah, I have  to  go  now,”  Baekhyun  said,  yawning. Chanyeol  bit down the  urge  to  yawn also.  “Alright. Bye.” “Bye,” Baekhyun  said, nodding. “Oh, are  you  coming  home  this  weekend?” “Baek,  I—” Hiding  behind  a  smile,  Baekhyun  waved him  off.  “It’s  okay! I already  knew  the  answer, so  you  don’t  need to  say  anything. I understand…You  should  come  back  some  time,  though. I planted some  nice flowers out  in  the  yard.”  Seeing  Chanyeol’s face,  Baekhyun  knew  that  his husband  didn’t  know  how  to  respond to  that. Feeling  like  he  was  making  his husband  feel bad, Baekhyun  picked up  his  mood,  even if it strained his face.  “I’ll take  photos  for  you,  okay?” “Okay.” “Bye,  Chanyeol.  I love  you.” Chanyeol  took  a  moment.  “Bye,  Baek.” Baekhyun  waited  for  the  “I  love  you”  part  that  would  usually  ensue,  but  after  two  seconds,  he  nodded and  signed out. He  reasoned  that  Chanyeol  was  just  too  tired to  remember;  he  was too  tired to remember  those  three  simple words. ________________________________________ Baekhyun  had  the habit  of  carving  on  trees. Back  when  Chanyeol usually  had  the  weekends  off, they’d leave  their  apartment and  go  to  the  park.  That  was  where  Baekhyun  would  use  a sharp  object  to  carve their initials into  the  wood.  Chanyeol would  keep  on  the  lookout,  worried that  some  sort  of authority figure  would  arrest  his whimsical  husband  for damaging  a  tree, even if  he  was  doing  it  for love. ________________________________________ At the  signing  event,  a  crowd of  people  showed  up,  but  no  matter how  much  Baekhyun  craned his head, he  couldn’t  see  his giant  anywhere. Figuring  that  perhaps he  was running  a  little  bit late,  Baekhyun  went on  with  his day,  signing  happily  for fans  and  curious  onlookers  who  were  interested  in getting  a  book signed by  a possibly  famous individual.  He  had  hoped  and  he  held  Chanyeol’s  promise  to  heart, but  as the crowd died  down and  Chanyeol  was  still nowhere  to  be  seen,  Baekhyun’s heart  felt  a  little  empty. He  knew  he  shouldn’t  have  taken it  to  heart. Chanyeol  was busy, he  knew  that.  But  he  also  knew  that Chanyeol  didn’t  make  promises  he  knew  he  couldn’t  keep,  yet  he  still  told  him  that  he’d be  there. ________________________________________ The  next  time  they  video  called, Baekhyun  didn’t  try  to  appear like  he  was happy, because  he  wasn’t. “Upset”  was  the  word,  but  he  didn’t  want  to  lash  out  because  Chanyeol was busy. He  had  an  excuse  not to  go  to  some  stupid  book  signing. But  it wasn’t  just  a  “stupid”  book  signing  to  Baekhyun. It  was  his  first and  he  wanted Chanyeol  to  be  there,  but  he  wasn’t,  and  that  was that. Chanyeol  was  too  tired  to  see  what was wrong. He  had  apologized,  but  Baekhyun’s mood  didn’t  seem  to lighten  up  despite  the fact  that he  had  said  it  was  okay. In  turn, it  irritated Chanyeol,  making  him  cut their call  short  and  call  it  a  night. ________________________________________ With success  came  strain. Time  was  no  longer  available for  leisure. It  was no  longer  available  for one  to spend  time  with their  loved  ones  or reconnect  with  friends. Time  no  longer provided intimate  moments. It provided the  opportunity  for productivity  in one’s  line  of  work. ________________________________________ Like  old  photographs,  their  relationship  began  to  change. Like  the  faded  images  of pictures  that  were once  bright  and  vibrant,  their relationship  had  grown  stale  and  quiet.  They  had  become  strangers in their own  marriage,  often  forgetting  the  moments  that  they  used  to  have  together  back  when  things were  simpler. The  calls became  less  frequent. The  text  messages  were  brief.  Visits were  rare. They  had  basically stalled. ________________________________________ Two years and  eleven  months in  their hanging  marriage,  Chanyeol stood  in his bedroom,  looking  at  his picture  perfect  self in  the  mirror.  He  fixed the  cuffs and  perfected his hair.  He  looked  at  the  time  and found  that  he  was  on  schedule, but  with no  minute  to  spare.  But despite  his  clock-work routine,  he couldn’t  help  but  sit  down  at  the  edge  of his bed, heaving  a  heavy  sigh  as  he  stared at  his  open  wall. His heart felt  weighed down  and  it  had  taken him  weeks—perhaps a  month—to  self-diagnose  his  issue. It was uncertainty. He  struggled  with  the  horrid  thought  of not  being  in love  with  his husband  anymore, but  as the  recent days passed, he found  that  he  could  deny  it no  longer. He  felt  lonely, but  Baekhyun  was  too  out  of reach for  him. Chanyeol  knew  that  he  still loved the  brown haired author,  who  he’d sometimes  see  in  the papers  or  online,  but  he  knew  that  he  didn’t  feel like same way  like  he  used to. They  hadn’t  made  love  in months.  Baekhyun  rarely  visited. Date  nights  were never  a  thing, because  they  weren’t  possible  with their schedules. In  fact,  the  more  Chanyeol thought about  it,  he  saw  more  of Baekhyun  through  their  short  and  infrequent  video  calls  than  he  did  in person. Turning  his head, he looked  at  his empty  bed.  He  missed it. He  missed the  attraction, the  activities— everything. The  distance  was one  thing. The  isolation  was  another.  The  lack  of communication foreshadowed the  end, but  it  was the  heavy  feeling  in  Chanyeol’s heart  that  brought  the gavel down  on the block. ________________________________________ Sometimes  Baekhyun  thought  about  moving  on, but  his heart  wouldn’t  let  him. He  still loved his giant despite  the  fact  that  every  night  he  went  home  to  “their”  quiet  estate  only  to  lie  in  a  bed with  a  cold side  unoccupied  at  the  end. He  missed the  nights  when  they’d  stay  up  just  whispering  to  each  other. He missed  the  board  games,  the  trees,  and  the  movies.  The  only  thing  that  would  sometimes  get  him through  the  day  were  the  photographs  from  their  wedding  day. Chanyeol  was  obligated to  go  to  his company’s  annual Christmas party  for appearances  sake  and  had  to reject  Baekhyun’s  offer  to  come  back  home  for  the  holidays. Like  always,  Baekhyun  said  he  understood and  hung  up  soon  after.  The  lack  of  argument  and  Baekhyun’s peaceful  conceding  bothered Chanyeol. He  thought  that  maybe  if Baekhyun  had  fought  for his  time  a  little  harder, he  would  have  said  yes. But then he  reminded himself that  he  couldn’t  have  said  yes. He  was  busy. With a relationship  dry  and  cold  like  the  weather, Chanyeol  moved  on. With  a  drink  in  hand  and  a  smile on  his face,  he  lifted his  eyes. It  was  there  at  that  annual Christmas party  that  he  met  Kyungsoo. ________________________________________ During  one  of  the  hardest  times  in Chanyeol’s  finals week,  Baekhyun  sweet  talked  Chanyeol’s roommate,  Kris, into  letting  him  into  their room  early  one  morning  the  day  of Chanyeol’s exams. He placed three  pieces  of Chanyeol’s favorite  candy  near  his textbooks  before  tiptoeing  over  to  Chanyeol and  gently  putting  a  sticky  note  on  his head.  With  a  smile  on  his face,  Baekhyun  quietly  laughed before backtracking  and  quietly  leaving  the  room. When Chanyeol  woke  up  thirty  minutes later from  his  alarm  clock,  the first  thing  he  noticed was the paper  stuck  on  his  forehead  preventing  him  from  rubbing  his eyes.  Taking  it  off,  he  squinted  his  eyes and took  a  closer  look  at  the  letters. As his  eyes  focused, he  noticed that  the  written  items weren’t  letters, but  rather,  zeros  and  ones. “01000111  01101111  01101111  01100100  00100000  01101100  01110101  01100011  01101011 00100000  01101111  01101110  00100000  01111001  01101111  01110101  01110010  00100000 01100101  01111000  01100001  01101101  01110011  00101100  00100000  01100111  01101001 01100001  01101110  01110100  00100001” Chanyeol’s eyes  dragged down and  looked  at  the  bottom  part  of the  message. 01001001  00100000  01101100  01101111  01110110  01100101  00100000  01111001  01101111 01110101  00100001.” Despite  having  just  woken  up, Chanyeol  took  the  time  to  decode  the  note. As  he  walked  to  his class  that morning, he  quickly  and  efficiently  copied  the  numbers onto  his  cellphone.  Using  a translator, he  read what Baekhyun  had  written  for him. “Good  luck  on  your  exams,  giant!” Lastly, Chanyeol  translated  the shorter  message  at  the  bottom. “I love you!” ________________________________________ Christmas  passed and  all  that  was  shared  between  them  was  a  card  on  Baekhyun’s part. A  simple gift was  also  sent. Baekhyun  didn’t  know  what  to  send, so  he  sent  three  pieces  of candy. ________________________________________ It should’ve  felt  wrong, and  maybe  it  did, but  as  time  went  by, the  office  attraction  grew. What  went from  innocent glances eventually  evolved into  something  more  physical  starting  from  when Kyungsoo took  the  step  and  had done some magic to capture chanyol's heart.It was in  late  spring  that  Baekhyun  suffered pain. He  began  to  notice  it  when the  headaches  that  he began  to  frequently  have  wouldn’t  go  away. He  also  noticed  his  body  being  fatigued.  After  two weeks  of trying  to  cope  with the  use  of pills, he  caved.  There  wasn’t much in  his  mind  about  what  was  wrong  with him  other  than  the  thought  that  it  was  just  headaches  and  issues that  would  soon  go  away  with a  magic pill from  the  doctor. He  went  in  expecting  nothing  and  came  out  with the  feeling  like  the  whole  world  was  on  his shoulders, bearing  down  on  his heart  as well. ________________________________________ They  told  him  that  he  was  scheduled  to  have  a CT  scan  the  next  day, but  for  once,  Baekhyun  truly  didn’t want to  do  it  alone.  The  first  person  that  came  to  mind  was Chanyeol, his husband  and  his rock. Quickly taking  the  subway,  Baekhyun  headed  over  to  Chanyeol’s apartment, holding  back  the  tears  and  trying  to maintain  a  strong  front. Afterwards  he  jumped in  a  cab, only  to  freeze  when the  driver asked him  for  an address. He realized that in  that  moment  he  didn’t  know. He  wasn’t  aware. He  tried to  recall, but  he  couldn’t  remember  the address  he  had  once  known  like  the  back  of  his hand. Flustered and  upset,  unable  to  explain  his sudden and  temporary  memory  loss, Baekhyun  jumped out  of  the cab  and  opted  to  run, because  unlike  the address,  he  remembered  with  faded  memory  the streets and  the  corners  where  his rides  in  the  past had usually  turned. He  had  a  hope  that  perhaps they’d  reconcile  and  take  one  night  to  make  up  for  the  year of  blatant  time lost. Baekhyun  had  hoped  and  he  imagined,  but  as his  eyes  focused  in  on  Chanyeol coming  out  of his apartment  building  with  someone  with their hands intertwined  and  with  their faces  smiling  in happy content,  Baekhyun  stopped  and  watched  as  all  those  hopes  fell apart. And  like  the  pain  that  he  had  felt in  those  past  weeks,  his eyes  watered slowly, before  trickling  down until he could  no  longer  bear any  of it  anymore. With  shaking  knees  and  blinded  eyes, he  took  a  step back  and  turned  the  other  direction. Alone. ________________________________________ Six  months into  the  year, in  the  beginning  of  summer,  Kyungsoo  sat  on  Chanyeol’s bed, waiting  for  him to  come  back from  the  shower.  In  his hand  was  Chanyeol’s  wedding  band, which  Kyungsoo  kept  turning and  turning,  inspecting  every  aspect  and  every  detail. It  had  passed  the time  long  enough  for  Kyungsoo to  be  entertained  when Chanyeol  came  back  to  the room. “What’re  you  doing  there,  Kyungsoo?”  Chanyeol said  with a  small  smile. Shrugging, Kyungsoo’s  stoic  face  remained.  “I was  just  thinking—actually,  I’ve  been thinking  about  this for quite  some  time,  really.” Zipping  up  his pants  and  grabbing  for a shirt,  Chanyeol looked  at  him. “What’s  on  your  mind?”  When  he saw  the  ring  in Kyungsoo’s  hands, Chanyeol sighed.  “Kyungsoo.” “Chanyeol,  why  don’t  you  just  divorce  him?”  Kyungsoo  burst. “Kyungsoo, he’s—” “You’ve  been  estranged for  so  long,”  Kyungsoo  said.  “Your relationship  was already  beyond  dead  when I met  you. Why’re  you  dragging  something  when neither of  you  feel  anything  for each  other  anymore?” “I can’t  just  slap  divorce  papers  on  him  so  suddenly,”  Chanyeol  argued.  “He  needs some  notice,  at  least.” “Then give  him  a  notice,”  Kyungsoo  said, gripping  the  ring  in his palm.  “In  fact,  have  one  of  those lawyers deliver  court  papers to  him.  That’s notice  enough, don’t  you  think?” “That’s—” “—Chanyeol.”  Kyungsoo  gave  him  a  look.  “It’s  better  to  end  things now, you  know. So  we  can  really have  a  fresh beginning. Then you  and  I can  get  married  and  the  both of you  can  move  on.  You’re  with me  now and, let’s face  it. He  probably  has someone  else,  too.” Chanyeol’s throat  tightened  at  the  thought  of  Baekhyun  having  another  man. It  was  hard  to  imagine  and ultimately  struck  a chord  in  him.  “Kyungsoo…” “I love  you, Chanyeol, and  I  know  you  love  me,  too,”  Kyungsoo  rasped.  “So  just  do  it,  please.  For us.  For him. For  all of us.” ________________________________________ On Monday  nights,  Baekhyun  would  slip  inside  Chanyeol’s  dorm  room  and  climb  into  bed  with him. Chanyeol  would  stir,  but  end  up  wrapping  an arm  around  his tiny  boyfriend,  and  Kris would  wake  up  the next  morning  with  another  roommate. ________________________________________ 0:00:01 Chanyeol  stood  outside  the  house  that he  once  shared with  Baekhyun  for a  short  period  in time.  He remembered the  promises  that he  had  held  and  the  hopes  and  dreams that  they  had, but  at  that moment, past  things like  that  were  dust  to  him, because  they  were  things that  he  hadn’t  thought  of in countless  months.  Gathering  up  his courage,  he  lifted  up  his hand  and  knocked  on  the  door.  He expected the  door to  open  and  to  be  greeted  by  Baekhyun, but  it took  longer  than  he  had  thought  and the person  who  had  opened  the  door  wasn’t  his soon-to-be  ex-husband. “Hello.” The  young, pleasant-faced  girl  that  had  opened the  door smiled up  at  him.  “Hi,  there.”  After  a  small pause,  she asked,  “I’m  guessing  you’re  Chanyeol.” Nodding, Chanyeol confirmed.  “Yes.” “Well, come  in,”  she  said, stepping  aside. When  Chanyeol  was  inside, she  closed the  door behind  him. “I’m  Luna, by  the  way.” “Nice  to  meet  you,”  Chanyeol said, holding  out  his hand. Thanks!”  she  replied  brightly, shaking  his hand. “Baekhyun  should  be  down here  any  minute.”  Then, with a  softer,  but  sadder  look,  she said,  “He’s been expecting  you.” It hurt  Chanyeol a  bit to  hear the  words,  but  there  was no  helping  the  truth  in  them. He  had  filed  for divorce  and  he  was  sure  that  Baekhyun  got  the  notice  two  weeks  prior.  Of course  Baekhyun  was expecting  him. If anything,  standing  in that foyer  made  him  slightly  nervous as  to  how  Baekhyun  would react.  He  imagined Baekhyun  yelling  and  screaming  at  him,  shedding  tears  with  eyes  that sought  for blood. But  this image  didn’t  hold  up. When he  looked  up  on  the staircase  where  Baekhyun  was  making  his entrance,  Chanyeol caught  the smile  that used  to  make  his heart  stop—and  it  still  did. Chanyeol  stood  at the entrance  of the  house,  heart-stricken  and  heart-stopped by  Baekhyun. Snapping  himself  out  of it, Chanyeol  approached him  slowly. “Hey." Walking  towards  his husband, Baekhyun  opened  his arms.  Without  even  waiting  for Chanyeol  to  make the first  move,  gave  him  a  hug, before  pulling  back at  an  appropriate  time.  “Hi, giant.” Chanyeol’s lips thinned.  He  didn’t  want  to  be  called “giant”  anymore.  It  brought  back  too  many  things that would  drift  him  off course  from  his  purpose.  “Don’t  call  me  that anymore,  Baek.” With his  mouth slightly  open, Baekhyun  nodded understandingly. “I’m  sorry,”  he  said  with  a  laugh. “I forgot  that  we  were  divorcing. Of course.”  Patting  Chanyeol  on  the arm,  Baekhyun    his  heel and  crooked  his  finger.  “Let’s  move  over  to  the  living  room,  okay?  Luna,  can  you  go  make  Chanyeol some  tea?  I’ll  have  water.” “Do  you want lemon,  Baek?”  she asked. “No. Just  plain.” “Got  it,”  Luna said, clicking  her  tongue  and  making  her  way  to  the  kitchen. Chanyeol  watched as  she  left,  wondering  about  Baekhyun’s relationship  with her.  In  his mind, Kyungsoo’s  words reverberated. Maybe  Baekhyun  found  someone  just  like  how  he  found  Kyungsoo. They  both found  people who  were  convenient  to  be  with. Once seated,  Chanyeol studied  Baekhyun’s face. “You  look  a  little…tired, Baek. Sleeping  alright?” It took  a  moment, but  Baekhyun  nodded with a smile.  “I’ve  just  been  working  a  little  hard  lately.  That’s all.” “Okay…”  Chanyeol took  a  breath for a second  before  opening  his suitcase.  “As  you  know, I came  with things for  you  to  sign.” “Of course.” “It  won’t  take  long.” “I know.” “I’m  trying  to  make  this as  painless  as possible for  you, Baek.” Baekhyun  laughed softly.  “It’ll never  be  painless.” Chanyeol  looked in  Baekhyun’s eyes. “I’m  sorry…” “I’m  okay…” Unable to  stand  the heavy  atmosphere, Chanyeol  moved  on. He  took  the papers  out  and  slid  them across  the  coffee  table  over to  Baekhyun, who  sat  across from  him. As Chanyeol  noticed,  Baekhyun moved a  little  slow,  but  he  figured that he  was  just  afraid  to  face  the reality  the  papers  would  bring. As Baekhyun  lifted  the papers  and  scanned  over  them, Chanyeol spoke.  “You’re  basically  acknowledging that we  both want  this.  It  also  means  that  you’re  willing  to  go  to  the  court  dates  and  meetings where we’ll  discuss  how  to  split  everything. But,  Baek,  the house…this house  will remain  with  you, I  promise you  that.” “You  promise  me?” “Yes.” “You  promised me  things at  the altar,  too,”  Baekhyun  said  softly  in a  ghost-like  whisper. “But  here  we are.”  Not  wanting  his husband  to  dwell  on  it,  Baekhyun  waved the  subject  off.  “So  where  do  I sign?” “At the  bottom  of  the  page,”  Chanyeol  said. He  reached  into  his pocket.  “Do  you  need  a  pen?” “Yes.” As their fingers  brushed  against  each  other’s  when Chanyeol  gave  the  pen  over,  he  noticed Baekhyun’s body  temperature.  “Are  you  cold?” “No,  I’m  fine.” “But  your hands  aren’t  usually  cold. They’re  warm.m  glad  you  remember.” A minute  passed and  Chanyeol watched as  Baekhyun  held  the  pen,  yet  never  moved it.  “Baek—” “Hey, Chanyeol,”  Baekhyun  said  brightly, looking  at  him  with a  smile  that  made  Chanyeol  feel  like  he was  back  in in  their  college  days. “Can  I ask  you  for something?” Knowing  what he  was  putting  Baekhyun  through, Chanyeol  nodded.  “Sure. Anything.” Baekhyun  held  Chanyeol’s  gaze  softly  before  asking,  “Please  stay  one  week  with  me.” “Baek—” “Chanyeol, please.” “I can’t.” “Why, Yeol?” “Because  of Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun  held  his breath.  He  knew  about  Kyungsoo.  He  knew  about  the  guy  who  would  answer  his  calls for Chanyeol.  Still, Baekhyun  couldn’t  help,  but  feel a  shot  of pain  in his  chest.  “It’s just  one  week…” “It’s  one  week  too  long.” We’ve  been  married  for almost  four years,  Yeol,”  Baekhyun  said  with a sad  smile. “One  week’s  all I’m asking  for,  giant.” Chanyeol  thinned his lips.  “What do  you  expect  to  happen over  seven days?” Even  though  the  silence  grew,  there  was  a certain  type  of  calm  in the  air. Baekhyun  had  looked  away, but  when he  answered Chanyeol’s question, he  looked  solemn  and  honest.  The  tired look  in  his  eyes made  him  look  innocently  beautiful and  calm, and  that  was  something  Chanyeol  couldn’t  help, but notice. “I’m  not  expecting  anything  to  happen…”  Baekhyun  slowly  said, lacing  his delicate  fingers.  “For  one week,  I just  want  you  to  pretend, Yeol,”  he  said  with a  voice  that threatened to  break.  “I want  you  to love  me  the  way  you  used to…” “Baek—” With a sad  smile  on  his face,  Baekhyun  put  up  a  hand. “I said  ‘pretend’.  Remember  that,  giant.”  He laughed lightly. “You  don’t  have  to  be  in  love  with me.  I already  know  you’re  not  anymore. I  just  want you  to  pretend. I  won’t  ask  any  more  of you. This’ll  be  the last  promise  you’ll  ever  have  to  hold  for  me…” ________________________________________ 1440 It felt  odd  being  in  the house  again, but  even  more,  sleeping  in a different room  other  than  the  one  he shared with  Baekhyun—or  used to.  As he lied in  his bed  that  first  night,  he  contemplated his  situation. He  felt  like  if  God  had  decided to smite  him  right  then  and  there,  he  would  have  deserved it  for doing what he  was  doing. It still  didn’t  sit well  with him  to  know  that after  months  of barely  any  contact,  he finally  contacted Baekhyun  only  to  break  his news  of  wanting  a  divorce. But in  the  end, in his  mind, it was  inevitable.  They  weren’t  functioning  together anymore. Chanyeol  moved  one  way. Baekhyun moved the  other. He  turned his head  to  the  right  and  looked  out  the  window. And  as  he  took  notice  of  the  bright  stars up in  the  sky, Chanyeol wondered what  else  living  in the  city  had  prevented him  from  ever  seeing. ________________________________________ One of  Chanyeol’s  concerns were  clothes;  he  hadn’t  brought  any  seeing  as how  he  wasn’t  planning  on sticking  around  for  more  than  a  few  hours.  When  he  told  Baekhyun  of this dilemma, Baekhyun  smiled and  told  him  not  to  worry  about  it. As  the  time  came  around  to  retire  for the  night,  he  had  taken Chanyeol  to  a  guest  room  near what  was  once  their  bedroom.  Baekhyun  left  for  a moment, but  came back  a little  while  later  with  three  shirts  in  his arms  while  Luna,  who  was  following  closely  behind  him, had  plenty  more  including  pajama pants, shorts,  boxers, and  more  t-shirts. “I couldn’t  carry  them  all,”  Baekhyun  had  explained.  “They're  too  heavy  for  me.” Chanyeol  then looked  at  the  small  pile  that Baekhyun  and  Luna had  carried  in  and  set  on  his bed.  “They don’t  look  that  heavy.” “They  weigh  like  a  ton  to  me,”  Baekhyun  said  quietly. When Baekhyun  left  after  Luna, bidding  Chanyeol good-night,  he  recited a sequence  of  numbers before leaving. Unable  to  understand  the  binary,  Chanyeol  moved  on. But  the  more  he  stood  there  alone  in  his room,  the  more  a certain  curiosity  ate  at  him  as  his eyes  drifted  back  to  the stack. Then he  moved over to  the bed, gathered  everything  and  lifted it  up. It wasn’t  heavy. ________________________________________ Despite  the  circumstances  of his situation  and  the  angry  text  messages  he  received from  Kyungsoo  the night  before, Chanyeol  woke  up  with a peaceful calm.  He  couldn’t  figure  out  why  that  was.  Maybe  it  was because  he  wasn’t  in  the  city  and, for  once,  had  sleep  that didn’t  involve  the background  noises  of  sirens and  cars.  Or  maybe  it  was  the  house  itself.  Baekhyun  didn’t  miss  a  detail  in  making  every  room  in the house  comfortable  and  warm. He  took  a  quick  shower and  slipped into  the clothes  that  Baekhyun  had  lent  to  him. It  wasn’t  until he looked  in the  mirror  that  he  saw  his appearance  and  realized something:  Baekhyun  had  given him  the clothes he  had  left  behind. Bitterness washed  over  him. He  didn’t  know  whether  Baekhyun  had  done  it  on  purpose,  which  Chanyeol knew  he  probably  didn’t. There  were  questions in his  mind  as  to  why  Baekhyun  still  had  them. They were  old. He  hadn’t  worn  them  in  years. He left  them  in  behind. Why  hadn’t  Baekhyun  gotten rid  of  them? The  more  he  looked  in the  mirror, the  more  Chanyeol  realized he looked  the  way  he  used to  be.  It  was funny  how  a  few  old  clothes and  no  hair products  made  him  look  the  way  he  was  two  to  three  years ago. But  that  was  contrary  to  how  he  felt. It  wasn’t funny. It was  bitter  and  it  burned something  inside  of him. Maybe  it  was guilt. Chanyeol  didn’t  know. He  just  wanted  to  get  through  six  more  days and  go home. Chanyeol  was  distant. He  didn’t  know  how  to  act,  despite  the  fact  that Baekhyun  had  only  requested for him  to  pretend. How  do  you  act  to  pretend?  It  was  a  cycle  that had  no  answers. Breakfast  went a  little  rocky, but  Baekhyun  tried,  making  Chanyeol  feel  like  he  needed to  try  also. Luna had  made  coffee. Baekhyun  requested  Chanyeol’s  coffee  to  be  black.  Then he  requested  milk  with his. And  when Chanyeol gave  him  a look,  Baekhyun  grinned at  him  and  sheepishly  shrugged. “I still remember,”  he  said.  Then he  opened his  mouth, wanting  to  tell  Chanyeol that  every  so often  he would  review  the  things  of  what he  liked  so  he  wouldn’t  forget. But  in the  end, he  closed his  mouth and hid  behind  a  smile. ________________________________________ “There’s  a  tree  that’s not  too  far  from  here, Chanyeol,”  Baekhyun  said  when  Luna was  cleaning  up  their breakfast. “What  do  you  want  to  do  with a  tree?” For a  moment, Baekhyun  gave  Chanyeol a blank  look  before  softly  looking  at  him.  “I want  to  carve something.” In  that  moment,  it  clicked  in  Chanyeol’s head. He  remembered Baekhyun’s  old  hobby  of  writing  their initials in the bark  of trees,  saying  that  it’d be  there  for  the  entire  world  to  see. Chanyeol  frowned. “Baek—” “Let’s  go, Chanyeol.” ________________________________________ Don’t  do  this.” Baekhyun  couldn’t  catch  himself. His  smile  faltered for a visible  split second. “We’re  only  pretending, remember?” The  key  word  was  “pretend”. Chanyeol didn’t  know  why  Baekhyun  wanted  to  do  something  so  cruel as to  pretend  when they  both  knew  nothing  that  was happening  was actually  real.  He  could  see  how everything  was hurting  the  petite  brunet. But still, it  was only  for  a  week  and  it  was Baekhyun’s  one condition  for  signing  the  papers. It  was the  most  Chanyeol could  do,  so  in the  end, he  nodded. “Okay.” ________________________________________ In  his short  time  there,  he  noticed  Baekhyun  moved a  little  slow  at  things. Sometimes  it’d take  him  a minute  to  process  something  complex  and  when he  had  to  do  a  task  that  involved  too  much labor, Luna was  around  to  do  it  for him. Chanyeol  still couldn’t  understand  Baekhyun’s relationship  with  Luna. He  didn’t  know  whether she  was  a housekeeper,  a  maid,  or a  girlfriend—though  “girlfriend”  was  out  of  the  question  since their  interaction seemed strictly  brother and  sister. But  even  though  Chanyeol  couldn’t  draw  the line  as to  what it  was, he  knew  that  Luna  was  protective  over  Baekhyun  for  whatever  reason. As he  waited  in  the foyer,  he  could  hear Baekhyun  and  Luna’s  voices  around  the  corner.  With ears perked, Chanyeol couldn’t  help, but  eavesdrop. “Are  you  sure  you  want  to  walk  that  far?”  he  could  hear Luna’s concerned  voice  say. “I’ve  walked  there  plenty  of times. I’ll be  alright.” “That  was  before…” “It’s  okay. I have  Chanyeol.” The  conversation  ended  there.  In  the  next  moment,  Chanyeol  saw  Baekhyun  turn  a  corner  and  start walking  towards  him. Behind  him,  Luna  tried to  keep  a happy  look  on  her  face,  but  Chanyeol could  see the distinct  look  of  true  concern. ________________________________________ They  walked for  ten  minutes  on  a  path and  only  came  upon  the  tree  Baekhyun  was talking  about  when they  went  off  the  trail. After a fair amount  of  vegetation, Baekhyun  pointed  at  a  tree  that seemed  to  be the  master of  all trees  around  it. Chanyeol  watched  as  Baekhyun  happily  inspected the  tree’s base.  Then he  took  a seat  as  Baekhyun started  to  work  on  his  tiny  project. As he  watched, Chanyeol  felt  something  warm  inside  of him  just  by looking  at  the  sight  of  the tiny  male  against  the  gigantic  tree. It  was  a  pleasant  sight  and  for  the first  time in  so  long, Chanyeol  let  his  guard  down. After five  minutes  of  trying  to  penetrate  the hard  wood, Baekhyun  sighed and  turned to Chanyeol, holding  out  his pocketknife. “Can  you  do  it  for  me?” Chanyeol  blinked  before  rising  to  his feet.  He  walked  over  and  gently  took  the  sharp  object  from Baekhyun.  “Is the  wood  hard  to  cut?” I'm  just  a  little  tired.” Chanyeol  glanced at  him.  “Did  you  sleep well at  all last  night?” Silence  grew  for seconds before  Baekhyun  answered.  “Yes…” “Then  why’re  you  tired?”  Chanyeol  asked,  looking  back  at  the tree  and  inspecting  the  knife. “I’ve  been sick  for  a  while…”  Baekhyun  replied. “Have  you  gone  to  the doctor?” “Yeah.” “And?” “They  said  it  was just  a  cold,”  Baekhyun  said,  looking  away.  “They  told  me  I’d  be  alright…” “Just  a  cold, huh?” “Just  a  cold.” Chanyeol  pursed his lips and  pointed  the  knife  at  the  tree.  “So,  what  do  you  want  me  to  write?” Binary.” Chanyeol  snorted, but  he  smiled softly  anyways. “It’s  always  binary  with you.” “Numbers  can  say  things  that  humans never  have  the  courage  to  say  in words sometimes,” Baekhyun said, smiling  back. “Where  words  are  vague,  numbers  are clear.” They  paused for  a second  before  Chanyeol  moved again  and  Baekhyun  slowly  told  him  the  sequence.  By the time  Chanyeol  was  done,  an  hour  and  a  half  passed. In  the  end, it  wasn’t  wasted  time.  They  talked about  the  past and  the  times  that  made  them  laugh  until tears  were  pouring  out  of their  eyes. Baekhyun  laughed for  the first time  in  so  long  and  it  seemed to  unlock  something  in  Chanyeol’s ears as the beautiful sound  filled  them. For so  long, Chanyeol  was deprived  of  the laugh  that  made  him  look twice  at  Baekhyun  back in  their college  years.  And  now,  with the  ringing  back in  his life,  Chanyeol  was flooded with  different  types of  emotions. He  wasn’t  sure  how  to  feel. All he  knew  was  that  he  felt warmness  inside  his chest  and  the  beating  of his  heart  coming  back  to  life. And  by  the  time  that  it  was  all done,  they  walked back  together  to  the  house  at  Baekhyun’s  slow  and staggering  pace,  leaving  behind  a  message  in  the forest  that read: “01001001  00100111  01101101  00100000  01110011  01110100  01101001  01101100  01101100 00100000  01101001  01101110  00100000  01101100  01101111  01110110  01100101  00100000 01110111  01101001  01110100  01101000  00100000  01111001  01101111  01110101” And  if Chanyeol had  known  binary,  he  would  have  known what  the  numbers  were  trying  to  tell  him. I’m still  in love  with you. That night,  Chanyeol  felt  something  warm  crawl into  bed with  him. When his eyes cracked open, he  saw the outline  of Baekhyun’s figure  standing  over  him  against  the  moonlight.  Then in  a  quiet  voice, Baekhyun  asked,  “Can  I  sleep with  you  tonight?” He  should  have  hesitated,  but  Chanyeol didn’t. He  moved and  flipped  the covers  over. “Come  on  in…” Slowly, Baekhyun  laid  himself down. He  kept his distance,  facing  the  other  way,  but  it was  Chanyeol  who unexpectedly  pulled them  together. It  wasn’t  necessary. There  was nothing  in their deal about  physical contact,  but  Chanyeol wrapped his arms  around  Baekhyun’s waist  anyways.  It  surprised  Baekhyun  for  a second, but  then he  settled  into  his  husband’s strong  arms, biting  back  tears as he  tried  to  fall  back  to sleep. ________________________________________ 2880 They  spent the  second  day  singing. Chanyeol hadn’t  touched  a  guitar in  so  long, he  surprised  himself  by playing  fairly  well. He  messed up  on  certain notes and  couldn’t  keep  up  with certain  tempos,  but  all  in all, Baekhyun  clapped and  smiled at  him, praising  him  for remembering  so  much  despite  the  years  of lacking  practice. While Chanyeol  played  the  guitar, he also  sang, but  it  was  Baekhyun  who  sang  for the  most  part—or  at least  he  tried. His  voice  cracked  and  he  couldn’t  go  as  high  as  he  used  to  the  way  Chanyeol  remembered. He  would  look  upset, but  Chanyeol  would  nudge  him  with his knee  and  give  him  a smile. Then  they’d continue  on  with Chanyeol  singing  the  leads and  Baekhyun  falling  back to  being  the  one  singing  along. Neither  of them  minded  the  change  in  roles.  Their  voices  were  still harmonized. When the  sun  set  and  the  stars came  out, Baekhyun  took  a  blanket  outside  and  invited Chanyeol.  In  the yard  behind  their house,  Baekhyun  set  the  blanket  down, and  with  the  help  of  Chanyeol,  they  laid  it  out. Lying  on  their backs,  they  lied in  comfortable  silence  watching  the  stars  glow. When Chanyeol commented  on  how  rare  the  stars  were  in  the  city, Baekhyun  mentioned  the light  pollution. “They  keep  you  from  seeing  the  sky. It distracts you.” “It keeps  me  from  seeing  this every  night.” “Yeah…”  Baekhyun  replied  gently.  “It does  that.” ________________________________________ 4320 Chanyeol  didn’t  know  if  Baekhyun  had  always  been  clumsy.  The  first  time  Baekhyun  knocked  over  a glass of  water  seemed like  an  accident, but  when  he  squinted  his eyes,  trying  to  reach another glass twenty  minutes  later  only  to  knock  it  down again,  Chanyeol  could  see  that  something  was wrong. When they  settled on  the living  room  floor,  getting  ready  to  play  a  series  of board  games that  Luna had gotten  from  the attic,  Chanyeol couldn’t  help, but  ask.  “Are  you  okay, Baek?” Raising  a  slightly  interested  brow  as  he  dusted  off the  games,  Baekhyun  hummed. “Yeah, I’m  fine.” “I  meant  your health,”  Chanyeol  clarified.  “Are  you  sure  it’s  just  a  cold?” What  else  could  it  be?”  Baekhyun  shrugged.  “I’m  tired  all the  time  because  of it.” Chanyeol  felt  that  there  was something  more,  but  he  didn’t  push on.  “I  see  you  taking  medication sometimes,”  he  muttered.  “Are  those  for the  cold, too?” Baekhyun  paused before  he  lifted  the top  off  the  Monopoly  game.  “Yes…They’re  for  my  cold. I  get headaches  sometimes.” Slanting  his lips, Chanyeol said, “Maybe  you  should  go  see  a  doctor  again.” “Maybe  I  should.” The  atmosphere  was  heavy, but  as soon  as  the game  started, it  lightened.  They  had  no  stakes. No  one was  promised into  taking  off clothing  for  every  property  lost,  but  the  laughter and  joke-like  insults were all  real and  no  pretend. ________________________________________ 5760 On the  fourth night,  they  huddled  together  under  a  blanket  on  the  living  room  couch.  The  two of them—along  with Luna,  who  sat  on  the floor—watched  Titanic,  one  of  Baekhyun’s favorite  movies. Chanyeol  knew  that  Baekhyun  would  be  gushing  with  tears in  the end,  but  to  his  surprise, the  wary male,  who  was too  tired  to  even  stay  up  past  ten, fell asleep leaning  against  his shoulder. He  looked peaceful  even in  the  dark  with  only  the  lighting  from  the  television  illuminating  his face. Chanyeol  took  note  of it. Deciding  that  it  wasn’t  worth  Baekhyun  waking  up  sore  from  sleeping  in such a way,  Chanyeol rose  from  the  couch  and  picked  Baekhyun  up  in his arms. Luna got  up  to  help, trailing  right  behind  Chanyeol until he set  Baekhyun  in his  own bed. After  pulling  off his shoes  and  tugging  on  the covers  until it  covered the  fatigued  male’s body, Chanyeol  turned around and  faced  Luna,  who  was  watching  everything  he  was  doing. “Is he  always this  tired?” There  was  a  silence. “Not  always,”  she  answered back. Looking  back  at  Baekhyun’s sleeping  self, Chanyeol  sighed.  “He  said  he’s  been  suffering  from  a  cold.” “A cold…”  Luna mumbled. “Tell  him  to  get  medical attention  if  it  gets  worse.” Luna began  to  start, but  failed  to  go  through  with her  words. She  heaved her  shoulders  and  nodded.  “I’ll tell  him.”  She  stood  there  for a few  more  minutes  before  figuring  that  Chanyeol  wanted to  be  alone  with Baekhyun. Retreating, she  left  the  room. Once Luna  had  gone,  Chanyeol’s gaze  turned completely  onto  Baekhyun.  Moving  his hand, he  swayed the hair  out  of Baekhyun’s  face. As he  touched  the  strands, he  noticed  the feel  of  them. They  weren’t  as soft  or as glossy  as they  used to be—or at  least  how  he  remembered.  Chanyeol didn’t  know  what  to think. In  his mind,  the cause  might’ve  been  stress. When he looked  over  his shoulder,  he  saw  the  laptop that Baekhyun  had  open and  plugged in. In  the  end, Chanyeol reasoned that  it  was  stress due  to  working  too  hard  on  another  book.  Leaning down, Chanyeol hesitated  at  first,  but  conceded  to  the  desire.  He  kissed the  top  of Baekhyun’s forehead and  let  his lips linger  for  a  moment above  the  fragile  male before  pulling  back and  stepping  out  of  the room. ________________________________________ 7200 During  their rift,  Chanyeol  was  often  too  busy  to  ever  pay  attention  to  Baekhyun’s plans and  his work. He  knew  Baekhyun’s interests  in  general, but  work  always  caused him  to  be  too  tired to  care. In  the afternoon, for  the first  time,  Chanyeol  sat  down and  listened to  Baekhyun’s plans. Baekhyun  moved slowly, but  Chanyeol  was  used  to  his pace  now. He  was also  use  to  Baekhyun occasionally  forgetting  things or having  stalled responses. It  wasn’t  a  rare  occasion  for Baekhyun  to  rub his eyes and  close  them  for  a  while.  Chanyeol, trying  to  do  what  he  could,  would  go  and  retrieve  water whenever  possible. Papers  splayed  out  on  the living  room  floor.  There  were  small  papers  with notes  on  them  as  well  as stapled packets. Baekhyun  spread  them  out  and  Chanyeol watched as  he  struggled  to  organize  them  the way  he  wanted—if that  was why  he  kept looking  frustrated and  confused. “So,”  Baekhyun  started,  “these  are  all  my  ideas and  plans.” “That’s  a  lot,”  Chanyeol  commented,  looking  at  the  mess. “Are  these  the ideas you  had  years ago?” “No. I  threw  away  everything  I had  back then.” Chanyeol  raised a  brow.  “Everything?” Nodding, Baekhyun  confirmed.  “I threw  everything  away  in late  spring.” “Why?” “I wanted to  start  over. I realized I’ve  been  writing  nonsense.” “Well, nonsense  is  your thing, isn’t it?”  Chanyeol said,  offering  a  smile. “It is,  but  I  wanted  to  try  something  different. That’s  all.” Glancing  down at  the  words on  paper,  Chanyeol grinned.  “Well, I’m  sure  it’s  gonna be good. Just  like  the rest.” Looking  at  Chanyeol,  Baekhyun’s eyes  twinkled  as  his  lips curved.  “Thanks,  Yeol.” “You’re  welcome.” After a  moment, he  asked,  “Will  you  read  it?” Chanyeol  blinked.  “Your book?” Nodding, Baekhyun  said, “Yeah.  Once  it’s  published.”  Then he added,  “I won’t  make  you  promise  me that you’ll  read it,  though. I  already  told  you  that  this  week  is  the last  thing  I’ll  ever  ask  of  you…” Feeling  a  heavy  tug  on  his  heart,  Chanyeol  lifted  a hand  and  turned Baekhyun’s  face  towards him.  “I’ll read  it.” Baekhyun  looked  more  of  sad  than  happy, which was  the  complete  opposite  of  what  Chanyeol expected.  Biting  his lips  for  a second, Baekhyun  nodded  again. “Thanks.” “No  problem.” When Baekhyun  paused for a second  to  close  his  eyes  and  take  in deep  breaths,  Chanyeol  looked at  him with a  concerned  face. “Headache?” “Yes…”  Baekhyun  said  weakly.  “Headache.” ________________________________________ 8640 Chanyeol  looked at  his  phone  and  saw  Kyungsoo’s text  messages.  He  answered them  briefly  and  curtly before  turning  his cellphone  off  again. When he  went  to  the kitchen, he  found  Luna alone,  which  was what he  needed.  Tapping  her on  the shoulder,  Chanyeol stepped back  instinctively  when  she  turned around  with  a  knife  in her  hand. “Oh,”  she  said. “Hi,  Chanyeol.” “Hi.”  Chanyeol fixed his posture for a second  and  fixed  his shirt, which he  was  pretty  sure  was  from  his college  days.  “I  wanted  to  ask  you  for a favor.” Luna looked  at  him.  “What  kind  of favor?”  she  asked, cautiously. “Can  you  make  Baekhyun’s  favorite  food  tonight?  And  do  you  have  any  wine?”  he  asked. “Wine…” “To  accompany  the dinner,”  he  justified. “I think  Baekhyun  would  be  better  off  with water,  Chanyeol…”  Luna mumbled. Chanyeol  was  taken aback  for a  moment, but  then he  nodded understandingly.  “Alright. No  wine.  But can  you  make  the  food?” Setting  the  knife down  on  the  counter,  Luna crossed her  arms.  “What’re  you  trying  to  do?” “I’m  trying  to  give  him  a  nice  dinner.” “Why?” “It’s  my  last  night  here.” With thin  lips,  Luna sighed.  “Chanyeol,  don’t.  You’re  not  doing  anything  good  for  him  by  doing  this.  You know that  this is  only  going  to  hurt  him  right?  You’re  going  the  extra  mile  for him  for  one  night,  but you’re  leaving  him  the  next  day. I know  you’re  just  being  nice, but  this  is  really  cruel''Chanyeol’s jaw  locked. He  didn’t  know  what  to  say. “But  I want  to  do  this.  Not  to  hurt  him, but  rather,  to make  up  for everything.” “What’s there  to  make  up  for when all  you’re  going  to  do  is  leave  him  for  another  person  the  next  day?” Taking  a  step back, Chanyeol felt  a panging  in his chest. It  was true.  It  was the  cold  hearted  truth. Tomorrow  he  was  going  to  leave  the  house  with  those  signed papers,  never to  look  back. He’d be leaving  Baekhyun  behind  with  nothing, but  the house  and  some  money.  It  felt  horrible because  for  the last few  days, he  had  been  escaping  the  reality. Now,  the  night  before  he  had  to  leave, Chanyeol  didn’t know how  to  deal  with  it  anymore. Swallowing,  Chanyeol tried. “Luna, it’s  for  one  night.  Please.” Luna stared  hard  at  him  before  turning  back.  “Fine.” Chanyeol  wanted to  sigh  in  relief.  “Thank  you.” After a few  seconds,  Luna  asked,  “Do  you  still love  him?” “What  kind  of  question  is  that?”  Chanyeol  muttered,  unsure  of  the answer. “It’s a  reasonable question.” Thinking, Chanyeol realized that  he  didn’t  know. He  felt  conflicted. The  word  “home”  no  longer  had  a definite  meaning. The  days  he  spent  in the house  felt  warmer  to  him  than  the apartment that  he  had been  living  in for  years.  Baekhyun’s laugh  seemed  to  soak  him  pleasantly  in its  sound  whereas Kyungsoo’s laugh  seemed like  a  mere  replica that  tried  to  affect  him  the  same  way  Baekhyun’s did. His eyes  were  more  tired than  Chanyeol  had  ever  seen  them,  but  in  the  recent days,  despite  how  faded Baekhyun’s  eyes  had  gotten, Chanyeol could  see  the  fire that  was  once  there. There  should  have  been no  hesitation  for his heart knew  the  answer,  but  his head—the master  of  all his thoughts  and  actions—intercepted  the confident  answer from  his heart  and  distorted it,  leaving Chanyeol  speechless  and  confused. His heart  said  yes,  but  his head  flashed him  the  image  of Kyungsoo. After waiting  for  minutes  and  still not  getting  an  answer,  Luna shrugged it  off.  “Never  mind  that I asked. I’ll cook  for  you  tonight. Make  him  happy,  even if it’s just  for  the  night.” ________________________________________ A few  candles lit  the  room.  Dimmed  lights  set  the  mood. The  food  was  set  on  their plates. When Baekhyun  walked in,  he  bit his lips  so hard, he  thought  he’d bleed.  He  wanted  to  back  out  and  run away  because  it  didn’t  seem  real, but  when he  felt  Chanyeol’s chest  against  his back  and  his hands  on his shoulders  encouraging  him  to  move  forward, Baekhyun  had  no  choice, but  to  comply. After they  sat  down,  they  began  to  eat.  They  didn’t  speak  for the  first  few  minutes, but  gradually  the conversation  moved.  It  lightened even  more  when  Baekhyun  grinned and  commented  on  their appearance.  Chanyeol  was  wearing  a  plain  shirt  and  shorts. Baekhyun  wore  a  t-shirt  and  pajama pants. Neither  of which  was  proper  attire  for what  was supposed  to  be  a romantic  dinner  date. And  once  they  were  all  done,  Baekhyun  rose  from  the  table  after  thanking  Chanyeol.  He  planned on heading  off to  wash his hands, but  when he  rose,  Chanyeol  rose  faster  than  he  and  walked  over  to  him, pulling  him  up. He  led  Baekhyun  to  the  living  room,  which  was just  as  dimmed and  filled with  the small flares  from  the  scented candles as  the  dining  room. Then he  took  the  music player’s  remote  and  hit  play, initiating  a  flow  of slow  music out  of  the speakers. At this point,  Baekhyun  was shaking. It  was  too  much  for him  to  bear.  He  wanted  to  drop  down  to  the floor,  but  Chanyeol’s arm  wrapped around  his waist  kept  him  up. With  his other  hand, Chanyeol took Baekhyun’s  right  and  intertwined  them  as they  began  to  sway  from  side  to  side. It was  a sweet  moment, but  for  Baekhyun, it  also  brought  him  pain. And  even  though  Chanyeol rested his cheek  against  the  top  of  Baekhyun’s head, and  even  though  he  kept  them  swaying  to  the  soothe sound  from  the speakers;  he  could  hear Baekhyun  crying  against  him. As Chanyeol’s grip  on  the  smaller  male  against  him, he  clenched his eyes  and  bit  his lips. He tried  to ignore  the  dryness  of his throat  and  fought  the  heavy  urge  to  silently  cry  as  well. ________________________________________ 10080 When morning  came, Chanyeol didn’t  feel like  going  back  to  the  city  anymore.  But  he  had  to.  That was where  he  belonged.  He  functioned  there.  That  was  where  his life  was. It  was  where  Kyungsoo  was. Heaving  a  sigh, he  got  out  of bed and  checked his phone. There  were  plenty  of  missed calls from  his boyfriend  and  Chanyeol figured it was about  time  to  call  back. He  got  an earful  when  Kyungsoo  immediately  answered.  There  was  a  lot  of  “Why  didn’t  you  call  me back!?”  and  “You’ve  been ignoring  my  texts!”  thrown  around, but  as  the  minutes  dragged on  and Kyungsoo  had  calmed down, Chanyeol plainly  explained to him  that  he’d be going  home  that  morning. In  a  huffy  voice,  Kyungsoo  conceded, telling  him  to  do  it  quickly  so  they  could  move  on  with their  lives. Soon  after,  they  hung  up. Chanyeol  took  off the  clothes  that  made  him  the  man  that once  belonged to  another  time  and  slipped back  into  the  clothes  that he  arrived at  the  house  in. He  fixed his  hair and  fitted his suit. Soon  after,  the next  time  he  looked  in  the  mirror, he  recognized the  miserable    that  he  had  been  for  the  last  years. In  the  kitchen, he  saw  Baekhyun  sitting  at  the  table. When he looked up, Chanyeol noticed that  his  eyes were  red. It  was  obvious  that Baekhyun  had  been crying, which  made  Chanyeol’s  chest  twist  in unimaginable ways  even more  when Baekhyun  smiled. “Good  morning.” “Good  morning.” A silence  ensued as  Baekhyun  glanced down  and  took  the folder  that  was  in front  of him  and  held  it  out to  Chanyeol with both hands as  if  one  hand  was  not  enough  to  lift the  lightless  folder. “It’s  all signed.” Chanyeol  grimaced as  his fingers  took  the  folder  from  Baekhyun. They  were  shaking, but  Chanyeol tried to  control his body.  “Thank  you.” Nodding, Baekhyun  looked  away.  “Will  you  be  staying  for breakfast?”  he  asked  quietly. “No…”  Chanyeol replied  softly.  “I have  to  get  back  to  the  office  in  the  early  afternoon…I have  to  leave  as soon  as  possible.” Without  looking  up  at  him,  Baekhyun  nodded.  “I  understand.”  Giving  Chanyeol  one  last look,  Baekhyun smiled  until it  hurt  everything  inside  of him.  “Thank  you  for everything,  Yeol,”  he  said  in a shaky  voice. Chanyeol  felt  gutted.  He  wanted  to  pull  Baekhyun  out  of his  chair and  kiss  him,  cry, and  tell him whatever  he  needed to  say  in order  to  make  himself feel better. He  wanted  to  fix  things. He  wanted  to stay. Chanyeol genuinely  wanted  to  stay. He  didn’t  want  to  go  back  to  his  job  or  to  his apartment. His heart  yearned  to  stay  in the  place  that it  had  always  called home,  but  Chanyeol’s  body  disagreed. With a stoic  face, Chanyeol  gulped and  nodded, accepting  the  fact  that  Baekhyun  had  yet  again  looked away.  “It’s  no  problem. Thank  you…for  the papers.”  Knowing  how  Baekhyun  wasn’t  going  to  respond  to that, Chanyeol  continued.  “Take  care,  Baek.” “Bye,  Yeol,”  Baekhyun  said  in  a  whisper  like  voice. His  face  was still  turned towards the  table,  refusing  to look  up. In  a  way, Chanyeol  was  thankful  of  the fact  that  Baekhyun  was refusing  to  look  at  him. He  would  have seen  the  sorry  look  on  his face. With a heavy  heart  that  didn’t  want  to  be  wretched from  the place where  it  wanted  to  be,  Chanyeol  took  a step  back  before  turning  on  his heels. “Good-bye,  Baek…”