"it's almost autumn, right? but why it's still so freaking cold???" jeonghan whine loudly as he hugs his body closer. Foot stomping like an annoying spoiled child.

jisoo rolled his eyes, he's fixing his coat and scarf, taking his time without caring for the high pitch whine beside him. they have just finished their shift, barely walk out of the store when they're attacked by the harsh wind that was become the starting of jeonghan's endless string of complaint.

"lend me your scarf,"

"why?"

"it's cold!"

jisoo proceed to give the blonde head a dirty look, glaring in distaste as if he's just offending his ancestor.

"I'm not the one who acts strong by only wearing single layers of sweater and skinny jeans and now you have the nerve to ask for other's scarves,"

"But I look good in this~" jeonghan swirl his body around, showing off his newly bought red sweater. then on the next second return to hug his body again in between shivering from the cold.

"And I didn't expect the wind to be this big, ugh, I hate winter." he clings to his friend and hugs the man clad in a thick white padding jacket. he stares at it with envy. Jisoo looks so comfortable despite looking like baymax.

"you always have low body temperature. if we left you in north pole you'll probably die in a few minutes,"

"yaah~"

"where are we going now?" the man in white asks in between his laughter. He finally gave up his scarf and jeonghan is more than happily grab it and circling it on his neck.

"definitely somewhere warm," he is then clinging closer again at jisoo, nuzzling his head on his best friend's shoulder. Lips grin wide and satisfied.

"It's not the time for dinner yet," jisoo mumbled as he took a peek at the clock on his phone.

"oh there's a new cafe near here, seungkwan told me they sell nice hot cocoa. want to try it?"

"I'll go anywhere but here," jeonghan shivered again when another breeze of wind ran past him. he hissed.

The place is only 10 minutes' walk from their part-time job place, fortunately, jeonghan kept complaining non-stop jisoo had to shove his face away from him when he gets enough as he skips his way to run and enter the cafe. Jeonghan followed in tow, together with his pout.

The place was quite nice, jeonghan is in awe as he admiring the interior. Got to give it to seungkwan to be able to find a good place to eat. It has some vintage feeling, with brown everywhere, warm and homey.

There are not a lot of customers around that time. Just a couple of businessman who looks serious, an old lady who is reading a book and a man near the window seat. jeonghan noticed the round cheeks, small crescent eyes and he almost squeak. Cuteee, jeonghan's eyes twinkling at his finding.

"Stop staring. You'll scare him."

Jisoo pulled him by the elbow to get a seat on the corner near the bar. On the opposite end of the cute guy. The blonde-haired boy grins sheepishly at his bad habit. He just let himself led by his friend, but as he takes another look toward the cute guy, they met eyes. Jeonghan quickly bows at the obviously older man and fastens his step, earning a soft chuckle from the stranger.

"How did seungkwan know all the good places?" Jeonghan asked with envious after the waitress got their order.

His eyes wandering at the nice interior again, as mirrored by jisoo. Both may have different personalities, but if they have one similarity, it's would be their love for vintage themes. Both have these twinkles in their eyes as they beckoning at every cute thing they saw and only stop when the waitress caught them red-handed. Hiding their faces behind their hands. And giggling.

"He landed some great dates these days, and they took him to these nice places. You have no idea, I had to listen to his stories for 2 hours nonstop until I thought I was half deaf."

"Lucky ," jeonghan pursed his lips, jisoo shrugged in agreement. "How did he find all those hot gay guys???"

"Tinder works wonder," the black-haired boy half chuckle half sarcastic. "You just need to know when to swap a good catch,"

"All the guys I saw from that application were only ugly fat and annoying punks,"

"You need to see his latest catch."

Jeonghan leans forward, eyes grew wider as he watches jisoo open his chat history and show him a picture. Of a proud cute chubby cheeks boy who had his arm circled around a foreigner's arm. The other guy looks mixed, now that jeonghan saw it clearer, the handsome man barely smile into the picture but he tilted his head to bump it the shorter boy's head. Eyes look so fond. Honestly, they look good together.

"Wow, he's handsome." Jeonghan bites his thumbnail. Voice small in envy.

"A student of interior design, which is the most prestigious faculty in our university." Jisoo take a huge breath, envy filled his voice just like jeonghan. "Rich. Handsome. Got a nice car. The only son of our dean."

"And gay," Jeonghan adds to the list of amazing criteria mentioned by jisoo.

"And gay." Jisoo deadpanned repeated.
"can you believe his luck?"

"Where to get a of luck like boo seungkwan."

Jisoo pout and shakes his head, "probably chubby cheeks and bubbly were all you need."

The 2 students burst into a fit of giggles again, remembering how they often teased their friend for his awesome assets. Seungkwan has the right to brag though, he got one of the best jeonghan ever see. In comparison to his, of course, he sighed at his own inferiority.

They thanked the waitress when their drinks are delivered, jeonghan exhale in happiness at the amazing smell of the hot cocoa. He stirred the cocoa with his spoon when jisoo start speaking again.

"Have we decided where are we going this winter holiday?"

"Japan." Jeonghan smile as he the spoon.

The American born boy grumbled "Can we vote for it? We went to Japan this summer, why would we go there again??"

"Don't you want to try the onsen??? I know I would,"

"I mean, we just been there 2 months ago, and I don't work my off to go to the same place twice." He emphasizes his last word with widen eyes.

Although it didn't scare his friend who's happily sipping the hot cocoa.

"It was Tokyo before, this time we're going to Akita." Instead, he gives off some excuse nonchalantly like it's the most valid reason in the world.

"I don't think seungkwan will agree, I vote for Thailand." Jisoo sip his own hot cocoa and sigh in delight, "or any other Asian tropical countries that don't have snow,"

"I asked seungkwan and he agrees with me. We're going to Japan, you like or dislike it."

2 vs 1. The black-haired boy whining. Jeonghan paid no heed as he keeps his spoon deliciously. There's a sound of the door opened and the sound of the waitress greet, it somehow peaked jisoo's interest. jeonghan stop his spoon when he saw his friend's eyes widen in surprise.

"Don't look back, your ahjusshi is here,"

But it's not yoon jeonghan if he's going to obey the warning just like that. The naughty university student held the spoon in his mouth as he whips his head to the back instantly, eyes sparkling at the sight of a handsome man in a coat walking in.

He tried to bite his smile but then frown when the older man proceed to sits in front of the cute guy and smile fondly. And he pursed his lips in disappointment. Heart ache for no reason.

"Stop looking!" Jisoo hissed at him.
This time jeonghan obeyed with a long face.

"Could that be his boyfriend?" He whispered.

His seat is not on the advantage as his back facing the couple. The couple, he hates calling them that.

Is this mean his crush is done before it blooms?

"I don't know, they don't look intimate though. But not formal either. Old friend? Or an ex perhaps?"

The pretty boy lit up at the words. Jisoo expertly acting like he didn't pay attention but his doe eyes are watching like a hawk. This is getting interesting, jeonghan is leaning forward, eyes full of expectation from the spying since he can't look back without making it obvious.

"Oh, the cute guy give ahjusshi an envelope." Jeonghan's eyes grow wider, waiting in anticipation. "An invitation. That's a wedding invitation for sure."

Jisoo nodded his head sounded so sure with what he saw. Then they heard a burst of hearty laughter from their table. Jeonghan has to hold himself from taking a peek. He wants to see the ahjusshi's laughing face.

"Oh, the cute guy picks up a phone call. Oh, they leave together."

"Already?"

Jisoo nodded again. The long-haired boy's face fell, but he slowly turns his face around to get one last glimpse of his ahjusshi.

"He's looking this way!" The black-haired boy whispered in panic, jeonghan quickly whip his head back. Almost knocking his mug, the 2 students giggles in embarrassment as they duck their head on the table.

"Wait, why do I have to hide?? He didn't know me!"

The realization just Dawn on them as they staring at each other silently before laughing louder. Too much for being idiot duo.

Jeonghan turns his face one last time but the handsome older man is no longer on sight.

He pouted again.

"He's out of your league. I think you need to step away before you get a broken heart." His best friend claps his hands softly, gaining his attention again.

"And you know I'll not mend your broken heart. I'm already busy with papers and homework."

"You meanie," jeonghan softly mumbled. "I know my place"

"It's not guaranteed either if he's gay," he whined cutely.

"Touche," jisoo replied shortly, "but the way he stares at his friend..."

Jeonghan is waiting for jisoo to finished his sentence, but the American born boy shakes his head lightly after a few seconds gazing at his friend's wishful eyes. Better not keeping jeonghan's hope high.

From the experience he knew the other boy fell in love easily, especially if the opposite is older and handsome. He can be pretty persistent and in the end, he'd cry to him because of heartbroken.

Which is always the case.

With a face and personality like jeonghan, the Japanese literature students shouldn't have a problem with catching a good older gay man to be honest. Although jisoo prefers someone close in their circle to avoid an unwanted situation. perhaps someone that is not too old too, he doesn't want jeonghan to be played with, taken advantage of his innocents or become a mistress to a married man who can't be honest to their wife that they're gay.

Okay, he's probably watching too much drama, but at least if it's in their circle they'd know their opponent. that's the point.

Just as a cue, jeonghan's phone vibrated and a new message appear on the screen. Jeonghan scrunched up his nose unwillingly at the name.

"Who?" It peaked jisoo's curiosity.

"Woo kiwook."

The black-haired boy tried to match the name with people he knew and when it clicked he made a soft 'aah'

"That senior in marketing communication?"

The blonde-haired boy nodded then taking another sip of his delicious cocoa. He really likes the cocoa in this place, he will give a lot of kisses to boo seungkwan later.

"What is it about? Presentation? You two were group mate right?"

"The presentation was done a week ago. But since then he kept messaging me."

Jisoo smirked, raising his eyebrows with an 'i knew it' look. Just as he thought. when he picked jeonghan from his class last time, the senior was staring at his best friend longingly. Like a hungry dog in front of a hanging bone. Ready to jump on it.

"Better him than the ahjusshi right?" He commented. and the blonde head in front of him is visibly twitched.

From the short introduction woo kiwook seems to be a proper guy. 2 years older, a senior, tidy, smart, and tall. And definitely gay.

A perfection for his friend.

Jeonghan scrunched up his nose, but despite the reaction pink blush creeping up his pale face, jisoo chuckles at the cute sight. Jeonghan may look like a hungry affection kitten, but when someone paid him special attention he would lower his tail and hide. Afraid of their approaches. It was always the case since they became friend in highschool.

A sound of notification breaks their conversation again as another message comes in. This time jisoo saw jeonghan's eyes dilated and grew wider.

"What? Kiwook again? What did he say?"

Jeonghan look up from his phone,
"He asks for a date,"

"Ooh?? When??"

"Now. He said he has a movie ticket and is around this area. He asked me to join."

Jisoo claps his hand excitedly, wow, that guy moves fast. He leans forward to the still fidgety jeonghan.

"Go with him, say yes!"

"But,"

"No but. Forget ahjusshi and just go on a date with him." Jisoo tsk-ed rather loudly, he grabs jeonghan's phone despite the owner tried to grab it back. He leans back to avoid jeonghan's hand and type fast to reply.
After he's done he makes a smug face and slides the phone back to the pale owner.

"You're nuts! What did you type???" There's a shriek coming from jeonghan's tiny voice as he can't believe with what jisoo's doing. He screams silently when he saw the message.

'i'd love to. I'll be there shortly. Thank you for asking me,'

And a new beeping sound of a notification from kiwook almost makes him throw the phone at jisoo's devilish smile. That second he regrets having him as a friend.

The senior replied with a smiling emoji and the reaction jeonghan let out is a groan.

"I hate you,"

"I love you too hannie, now go. You'll thank me later."

"Are you sure I can leave you here? We're supposedly going to grab dinner together." He circled jisoo's scarf around his neck as he asks.

"I'm an adult. I'll be fine. I think I'll go straight back home and call a delivery, now shoo~"

Jisoo watches his friend reluctantly stand up despite the blushing face. He ushered the man to leave quickly as he rests his chin on his palm, elbow on the table.

"But how did he know we're in this area? Did you told him about our part-time job?" A question popped up his head when jeonghan turn around ready to leave.

The beautiful blonde boy halted and turn halfway,

"I didn't. I didn't think he knows I have a part-time job too."

Both friends staring at each other blankly.

"Maybe he saw us,"

"I guess so,"

"Go. Don't let him wait."
Jeonghan bid him one last goodbye with a wave of hand and he waves back.

Jisoo stirring his hot cocoa after jeonghan disappears from the door, shaking his head in disbelieve. His friend is going to have a boyfriend soon. He feels like crying. He's one proud mother hen.

If jeonghan really dating the guy, 2 of his best friends will have boyfriends. Maybe he needs to find one too. It's such a waste for his handsome face.

His hand suddenly stop stirring, his doe eyes blinking in alarm.

"But jeonghan always in a rabbit costume, how did woo kiwook know it's him?"

+*+*+*+*+

Change of plan.

Seungcheol didn't know how but they somehow end up in here, at a bar nearby. They were chatting in the restaurant when soonyoung suddenly suggested for them to go drinking the night out. Tomorrow the couple is going to Busan to meet jihoon's parents then return to Australia the next day. They couldn't meet each other until the wedding party in 2 months.

"Come on, for reunion sake!"

Seungcheol awkwardly staring at jihoon who seems to give up at giving any opinion. Once his fiance wanted something he'll persuade anyone who gets on his way just to get it. The shorter guy shrugs his shoulder, letting seungcheol to make the last decision.

Seungcheol let out a soft laugh, giving in to the pair of sparkling eyes. Only soonyoung who would invite their fiance's ex-boyfriend (if he can call them that) for drinking together session.

They're not a friend from the beginning to be honest, they might try to be civilized against each other knowing their history with jihoon, just for the sake of jihoon, but soonyoung didn't really try to befriend him. just a simple greet and small talk to erased the awkwardness, but never more than that. And he strangely didn't really mind.

Soonyoung's eyes were only focusing on jihoon from the start, he didn't care about anything or anyone else. Not even seungcheol who happened to have 'some' relationship with the former.

Someone who is able to create an effect on jihoon in a short time was already a miracle in seungcheol's book. If a Messiah exists in this modern world, the person would come in the form of Kwon soonyoung. Bright, straight forward, never stray from his path and pure.

They each had a glass of beer in their hand when jihoon excused himself to the bathroom. Seungcheol raises his glass at the P.E teacher.

"Congratulations again for the wedding,"

Soonyoung grins widely at the greeting and tossed his own glass with the auditor's.

"Thank you. Promise me you'll come,"

"I will," Seungcheol answered behind his glass.

"Bring your partner along,"

Seungcheol chuckled bitterly, he rests his folded arms on the table watching soonyoung making funny Expression at his response.

"I don't have one."

"Still? That's weird. You're handsome, single, and successful. You're not trying hard enough,"

Not trying hard enough?

The sentence hit the bullseye for some reason and seungcheol didn't have words to retaliate. Soonyoung taking another sip of his beer, wiping his lips with his backhand before talking again.

"It's not because...right?"

Seungcheol understands what the man was implying. He quickly waved his hands before soonyoung making another assumption.

"It's ending a long time ago. I didn't have any feeling anymore,"

The other guy exhales in relief. Seungcheol laughs at the response, so after all his time soonyoung was actually feeling nervous around him. They guy did good at pretending he didn't care.

"It's my idea to invite you," soonyoung spoke in a soft voice after few moments. loud music in the place didn't seem to disturb their conversation.

Seungcheol's gaze is fixed on the black-haired man, silently observing. He looks mature now, compared to the soonyoung that he knew in the university, he used to have this silver-blonde hair and always wearing training suit. Ears filled with piercings.

But today, the man was wearing a semi-formal shirt, sleeve rolled up to his elbow, top 3 buttons undone accompanied with tight black jeans and leather shoes. There are no more earrings decorated his ear. It's quite an unfamiliar sight when seungcheol saw him this evening, in comparison to jihoon's appearance who always remain the same. he almost didn't recognize him if not the innocent grin the man showed him.

He was pulled back from his trance when soonyoung continue speaking.

"He didn't want to invite you, afraid if it'll be awkward. But I managed to convince him,"

He played with the glass, circling the rim with a finger.

"You have a special space in his life, he didn't really mention it, but I knew he's thankful for your existence. And I personally want to receive your blessing."

Seungcheol gives him a big smile, "You treat him well, far better than I did soonyoung ah. You deserved him. You have my blessing."

"Thank you," soonyoung finally met his gaze. Stalling his next words until he finally finds the right sentence to tell

"to agree to come to meet him,"

"And willing to come to our wedding," soonyoung show off his trademark grins, then raise his glass.

Seungcheol tossed it with his and they drank it together. A surge of relieving filling his entire being. This is like a real closure now. He knew he already had one with jihoon, but it's always been quite ambiguous with soonyoung.

Because they've never interacted directly in the first place, from the beginning they're on the opposite side with jihoon standing in the middle, the only string that connected them. So even when jihoon end up choosing soonyoung, he and seungcheol felt like having an unfinished business that hanging without a clear end. And this instant, he was glad for his choice to come today.

"You guys already drunk without me?"

The 2 men stared at the newcomer who sat in between them.

"What were you guys talking about?"

Soonyoung gulps his last drop of beer before reaching jihoon's but his hand was slapped lightly.

"This is mine,"

"You're in charge of driving. Both of us can't be drunk at the same time," soonyoung cheekily answer, hand moves fast to grab the glass and drink it before jihoon can speak further.

Seungcheol saw the frown and pout that appeared on his friend's face. The old jihoon would already whack soonyoung on the head and kicked him away, but this current jihoon look so whipped and only stare worriedly when soonyoung drink most of the liquid in the glass in one go.

"You too. Don't drink too much. Don't you have to work tomorrow?" Jihoon turns his gaze at seungcheol.

"Yes, Mom,"

Jihoon's edge lips twitched as he scowls at the nickname he tried to buried years ago, but seungcheol and soonyoung both laugh at the lame jokes. It seems they're starting to get drunk after all.

The P.E teacher suddenly stands up.

"I'll go dance for a moment," then he staggered his way to the dance floor.

Both seungcheol and jihoon just watching when the man starts dancing fluidly following the rhythm of the music. People around him whistles and stares in amusement, hyping him up and the area even more. They give more space as he gets more energetic, moving like a professional dancer. Applause accompanied his every movement.

He's the star of the night.

"He's still good at dancing," Seungcheol commented.

Reminiscent of their first meeting with the ex-sports department student still fresh in his mind.

"He couldn't stop dancing. He even creates a dance extracurricular for his students."

And it seems the same as jihoon. Seungcheol observing the fond gaze the man thrown at his fiance. Voice sounded so proud.

They saw a woman in a mini tight skirt starts moving her way to grind at soonyoung, seungcheol turn his gaze from the shorter man to the dancer to the shorter man again. Curious at what he's going to do.

Soonyoung seems to enjoy the companion but when she starts circling her arms around his neck and leaned in closer to his ear he pushed her softly. He raises his left hand up to show her his engagement ring and grin innocently.

The woman seems quite stubborn soonyoung has to stop dancing and turn her body around at their table which visible clearly from the dance floor, smirking proudly and wave her hand like a puppet from behind at jihoon which made her face red from embarrassment especially since jihoon wave back in blank face at her with his left hand. Showing off the other ring in his finger. Then he left her to dance in another spot. Unbothered.

Seungcheol chuckled loudly at the unbelievable sight.

"He's a really good man. Did this happen often?"

"All the time, " jihoon answer tiredly, like he's so done.

Seungcheol laugh harder.

Jihoon watches him silently until his chuckles died. Face still blank, though his eyes shining with some spirit seungcheol can't comprehend.

"I've been keeping this for so long," he started, "why couldn't you like me back in the past?"

Seungcheol stilled and blinks his eyes. surprised at the sudden change of atmosphere.

"Just so you know your answer will not change anything. I was just curious."

Jihoon put his left cheek on his palm with his elbow on the table, half facing seungcheol.

The loud music suddenly dissappear like being muted when seungcheol faced with the question. His eyes meeting jihoon's firm one.

"I thought we were compatible back then. I almost believed that you were the one for me," jihoon continued when seungcheol didn't say anything. He narrowed his gaze back at his fiance who seems to have enjoyed the night fully. A smile stretched automatically on his lips.

"What made it failed for us?"

"Sorry," was all seungcheol can mutter. Jihoon diminished it with a wave of hand. He doesn't want an apology, he only wants an explanation.

"It's just at that time, I thought you were not the one."

"Did you have someone that you like back then?"

"No, I didn't. You're the only one I was close with,"

"was I that bad?" a frown appeared on jihoon's forehead, there's a dissatisfaction in seungcheol's explanation. Like it's not giving him the answer that he wanted. The frustration returning like a plagued as memories flooded jihoon's mind back.

"What made me unworthy that made you think I was not the one?"

"No, no ji, you're great." Seungcheol quickly retorted, he squeezed jihoon's hand. "Just like I told you, the problem was not you." He swallowed the lump in his throat as guilt is back haunting him. "It's me."

"It's all me." His voice is getting softer.

The shorter man sighed, the same old seungcheol. Never talk much about his private life. Not even to jihoon, this was what frustrate him. He didn't know what the other was thinking, what the others want. Seungcheol just lives in his own bubble and he's the spectator whom he allowed to come in once in a while when his mood was good.

He remembers even asked wonwoo, asking for advice about seungcheol. But even the best friend chose to tight lips as he respects seungcheol's privacy.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to corner you. I was just curious."

Seungcheol gives him another squeeze and smile.

"Honestly," he let jihoon's hand go, "you have the right to be angry. I didn't even know the reason too."

"i tried, i was trying hard to be reasonable at the time. we're so compatible together, i loved you but..." he paused. "a part of me was unwilling to accept you,"

like he was waiting for someone else.

A flash of the image of tall grass invaded his mind again.
a pale slim feet on the grass walking closer. 
The colorful disco light in the bar, blurred itself in a red and orange, reminded him of sunset.
Someone with long hair standing back facing him against the sunset.
A familiar smile and the echo of a giggle.

His heart is throbbing, it's pounding so hard against his rib cage. The longing feeling for that person in the dream now uniquely feels familiar. It's like what he felt back then at university.

empty. losing focus on what he's doing with life.
The similar feeling of the loss of someone you loved, yearn to see and meet and hold again.
but you don't know when, don't know who.
he was lifeless as he was being alive.

"Are you okay?? What happens to him hoonie?"

Soonyoung worried voice brought him back from his trance. now all the noises, the sounds of loud music in the room is back, when did he become deaf of his surroundings?
Seungcheol blinks his eyes rapidly. Seeing 2 pairs of eyes watching him with concern. Seungcheol takes a deep breath. clenching his fist as he tried to gain his composure back.

"I think I should go home now."

"Do you want me to drive you?" Jihoon offered quickly. Feeling bad after what he had done.

Seungcheol Pat his arm to tell him that he's okay, this is not his fault. His mind was just going haywire these days. it's hard to explains.

Those ing dreams.

"No, you guys continue to have fun. I'll get a taxi." He said as he picks up his briefcase and stands up.

Drinking the last drop of his glass before reaching to jihoon and soonyoung to give them hug.

"Congratulations again for the wedding. I'll come to your party,"

"Thank you," jihoon spoke while still watching him closely.

"But are you sure you're okay? You're quite pale seungcheol ah,"

"I'm okay, don't worry." He gives his assurance at the shorter guy.

He left the bar still in full consciousness despite the slight dizziness due to the alcohol. But when he inhales the night air, it helps ease his hazy mind after the invaded flashbacks.

This really stresses him because he didn't know what's the meaning. Who's that person? And what's their connection??

The cold wind hit him and he tightens his coat as he walks to the lamp pole a few meters away from the bar. his back hit the steel pole, and he closes his eyes, enjoying the silent night. when he reopens his eyes again, he looks around and realized that lots of stores were closed in the area, making it creepier than usual.

He just called the taxi service center so he needs to wait for a few minutes.

This night seems longer than he thought. He exhales and checks his watch.

+*+*+*+*+