The morning after wasn’t much different. It seemed everyone was giving each other the silent treatment. Giving everyone some much-needed space, no words being exchanged during breakfast. At the breakfast table there was no sight of Hyewon or Minju. So Sakura volunteered to check in on the two, knocking on the door politely. Hearing no response, she opened the door to their room. To find no one inside and their bed already made. Checking around the room, she spotted a post it note on the bed.

‘We went out for a hike’ - Hyewon & Minju

Was the only thing on the post it but turning over the note she saw some Japanese written on the back.

‘I know the one reading this will be Sakura. We’re just at the shed in the back, if you need us. We think it’d be best to give everyone some space. Don’t tell the others please’ - Hye

Sakura knew where the shed was. It was an old shed used to store firewood, but they had turned it into a mini game room when they were in still elementary schoolers. It was a place they spent many afternoons in, playing games and other things grade schoolers did. She wondered if Hyewon had changed it since the last time she or Chaeyeon visited; like the cabin. Where their pictures were taken down and any sign of them ever being here gone.

She knew Hyewon had good intentions. Remembering Chaeyeon had told her in their room last night. How the girl cried herself to sleep as she whispered words of comfort to ease her pain. She remembered each crack in her voice from each word she recited. Hyewon knew how to hurt Chaeyeon. They were the closest out of everyone. Which made it only that much easier. She knew all her insecurities and worries.

She would have preferred Hyewon to have chosen less harsh words, but she didn’t blame the girl. What they did was horrible, and she knew it. She regrets not fighting for Hyewon, even when Hyewon decided not to fight for herself. She should have, for the sake of their friendship. She never liked Chaeyeon’s deal to keep it all a secret. She doesn’t remember the reason why she went along with it all those years ago. She only knows that whatever reason it was, it wasn’t worth all of this; the pain, the suffering, their friendship. She should’ve known the moment she saw the change in Hyewon’s eyes that day.

She had gone back to the dinning table, shaking her head. The group doing a collective sigh as they pretended to be disinterested in the matter. Eunbi turning away, pretending to be interested at the landscape outside. But the clashing of utensils broke their silence. Yena’s chair screeching as she kicked it backwards, slamming her hands on the table. Before stomping away, Yuri could only shake her head slowly. Bending down to pick up Yena’s utensils off the ground

“I’ll go talk to her” She says calmy before sending a death glare at Chaewon

Yuri looked particularly menacing at that moment, lingering in her spot for a few seconds. Glaring down at Chaewon, the stillness in her movements paired with the silence of the room only amplifying her glare. Sending a chilling shiver down Chaewon’s spine, she couldn’t bear to hold Yuri’s gaze looking down at her food. After a few seconds Yuri left, following Yena as the rest followed her with their eyes.

But Sakura’s eyes lingered on Hitomi. She was sure Nako and Hitomi heard Chaeyeon and her last night. But she was glad that they didn’t ask her about it in the morning. However, she was still worried about Hitomi since they got back to the room she had been silent. Hitomi wasn’t one who could easily express her feelings. Hitomi doing her usual night routine of washing up and then writing in her diary every night.

Sakura could feel the strain of each she wrote as the pen dragged heavily across the page. As she wrote the words, she was too afraid to say out loud. Hitomi was one of the most decisive person she ever met. She wouldn’t let this to drag on for long. And so she didn’t, as she asked Chaewon to talk to her outside after breakfast.

Sakura looks down at her plate, picking at her food. She felt Chaeyeon’s hand squeeze hers. Giving her an apologetic smile before Chaeyeon went to clean her plate. Her hands weren’t clean, she played a role all in this whether or not the others knew. She remembers the night they created this deal. Hyewon’s only request was to not let anyone know she had a soulmate. Hyewon kept her word, and so did they. But was keeping it a secret to prevent their embarrassment and shame worth the pain they brought to everyone around them? In her eyes it appeared the collateral damage had tenfold.

She got up from the table, placing her plate in the sink. She would go visit Hyewon and Minju in her own time once things settled down at the cabin. She knew the two would take care of each other; she didn’t know the extent of their relationship, but she knew in the way Hyewon looked at Minju. The way she used to look at her and Chaeyeon - full of love and wonder.

Hitomi leaned over the railing, her gaze on the forest that circled the cabin. Chaewon took hesitant steps towards Hitomi, dragging her feet. She wasn’t sure how to start or where to start. Hitomi barely spared her a glance, increasing her nerves even more. Leaning over the railing next to Hitomi, her hands clasped together.

Hitomi took one of Chaewon’s hands, laying her hand flat on the railing. She took out a bag filled with ice, putting it on Chaewon’s bruised knuckles. Chaewon looked at Hitomi, the emotions that swirled in her eyes as she took care of her. The gentle patterns she drew on her hand as she held the ice on her knuckles.

“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries and grudges,” Hitomi sighs looking up at Chaewon with a small smile “Life is too short to be unhappy”

That was the first thing Hitomi said to her after the fight. Of course, Hitomi would be the one to give her advice. Instead of yelling at her face or making her feel bad. Hitomi would be the one to console her, bring her back onto the path whenever she wandered off of it. She always had a short temper, and Hitomi was always there to help her.

“It also prevents you from bruising your knuckles,” Hitomi jokes letting out a breathy laugh

Chaewon felt bad for her outburst. She regretted every word that left . Not thinking about how it would affect those she loved. She was a hypocrite - all those things she said about Hyewon applied to her. Hyewon was right when she said they were the same, except she knew the consequences of her actions while she didn’t.

Anger blinded her from seeing the pain she would end up causing Hitomi, having to find out that she had a soulmate through an argument. The pain she caused Eunbi when she found out that Hyewon had a girlfriend. They didn’t deserve that, Hitomi didn’t deserve that. They deserved much more. They should’ve found out through a better situation than that.

But even through all of that, all she could think of was what Minju was feeling, how it affected her, what she was thinking. What she felt every time she saw an image of her and Hitomi together. She never once took the time to think about others, other than herself. The guilt sat not on her chest but inside her brain. What she had done, she could not undo. Their forgiveness wasn’t enough to erase the stain of guilt. Cause it doesn’t matter if no one blames her when she blames herself.

Chaewon sank into her hand, laying her forehead on the railing, unable to hold her head up anymore.

“When you asked that question at the cafe..” Hitomi trails off

“It was about Minju” Chaewon finishes her sentence barely in a whisper

That was the first time she admitted that Minju was her soulmate - the reason behind her outburst. Not Hyewon. She finally understood the meaning behind her anger. It was fear, the fear that had settled there since the day she met Minju. The realisation that Hitomi wasn’t her soulmate Hitomi but Minju. The idea that she had to choose between Hitomi and Minju. The thought of Hitomi telling her to go after Minju.

If she had been honest with herself from the beginning, she would have felt the fear getting placed when she woke up to see Hitomi with her in the nurse’s room - and her not being her soulmate. There was no rush, no fireworks, no electricity, it was nothing out of the ordinary. The idea followed her like a shadow, letting itself known whenever the sun shined on it through the forms of visions. She continued to ignore the visions, but seeing them to disappear and then see Hitomi smiling back at her; it slowly ate away at her.

In their silence, Hitomi holding the pack of ice on Chaewon’s knuckles as she stared into the distance. While Chaewon continued to wallow, she smiled bitterly remembering how they first met. It felt like so long ago when she met the Japanese; it was all by chance, really. Their meeting never failed to put a smile on her face.

///

Hitomi looked up and down the shelves, trying her best to make out the brand names written out in front of her. Cursing Eunbi under her breath for not giving a more distinct description of the ones she wanted. All she knew were the ones that looked like orange, but there were at least 20 in the store.

She wouldn’t mind asking someone, but her broken Korean and that fact that she was buying sanitary pads did not help the matter. Looking around the store noticing the staff present were all boys. She begged for someone to come in and save her, and as if the gods above answered her prayers. A small faced, skinny, short-haired girl walked into the store in her baggy sweater and shorts.

‘This was her chance’ Hitomi thought 

Pulling the girl into the aisle she asked more liked begged “Hey, I’m sorry to ask you this but I can’t read the brand names and my friend asked me to buy these” Hitomi tried her best to replicate what Eunbi told her in her broken Korean

The other girl stood still thinking about whether to help or not, but with a soft smile she tried her best to understand Hitomi’s half Japanese and Korean question

“Oh, I know which brand she is asking for” Going to the shelf handing Hitomi the product she was looking for

“Thank you so much, I don’t know what to do with you,” She sighed in relief “Thank you, thank you so much,” She repeated, bowing several times

Only making the other adore the overflowing cuteness displayed in front of her “Ah, it’s okay don’t worry. I’m glad I could help” She smiled offering her hand for a handshake “I’m Chaewon by the way I live by here. Hope I can see you around sometime”

Hitomi smiling shyly as she accepted the handshake, “I’m Hitomi, it was very nice meeting you. I hope I’ll see you around too”

///

“I want you to look at me when I say these next few words” Hitomi said in a stern voice, straightening her posture. Pulling Chaewon away from her thoughts.

Chaewon lifting her head, reluctant to hear her next words, whether they were good or bad. But she wasn’t prepared for what she saw next. Seeing Hitomi crying with a smile on her face, she didn’t look sad or happy. She sniffed, wiping the tear that trickled down her cheek.

“I want you to understand that I don’t blame you. I never did, I was never mad or upset with you. I know we promised we could get pass anything and everything,” Hitomi couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, letting them fall down

When she cried, there was a rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound. Chaewon bit down on the insides of her cheeks. She knew where this was leading and she didn’t want it to go there.

“But I think we reached our deadline” Hitomi pauses, taking the time to wipe away some of her tears, holding Chaewon’s hands

She didn’t want to say these next words, but she knew she had to “Choose her”

She tried her best to say it as painless as possible but there was no use, the crack in her voice as she stuttered out those two words gave her away

“What?” was the only thing Chaewon could mutter

Chaewon couldn’t process what she heard, no she didn’t want to process what she just heard. It hit her hard. Hitomi’s words were like nails and hammers breaking her heart apart.  The sobs punched through, ripping through her muscles, bones, and guts. 

Hitomi shows an apologetic smile, placing her hand on Chaewon’s cheek. Using her thumb to wipe away Chaewon’s tears. She didn’t want it to end. If she could choose her soulmate, she would have chosen Chaewon. But the world wasn’t that forgiving. If it were true, there wouldn’t be so much hate and suffering. But she would never trade whatever they had for anything in the world. If she knew their ending, she’d still choose Chaewon over and over again.

“Remember how we met?” Chaewon asked, hoping to share one last moment before they parted ways. Hitomi nods her head, she’d never forget.

“I saw you in that Department store, you had just moved to Korea knowing little to none Korean. You were absolutely dumbstruck trying to read the various brand names and then you just saw me and pulled me in to help you. You were so shy asking but you were absolutely helpless, I couldn’t help but help you. And at that moment when you pulled me into that aisle, I never forgot that moment.”

Chaewon smiles warmly, recalling the fond memory, wiping away the rest of her tears.

“I thought about it over and over again, constantly replaying in my head. Then I found out you went to our school and were friends with Eunbi unnie. And I always stopped you and tried to ask you out once, and you bluntly rejected me right there. But I knew I couldn’t let you go the moment you pulled me into that aisle, you pulled my heart too”

Chaewon could see the softness in Hitomi’s eyes as they recalled their first meeting together. How she felt another round of tears welling up in her eyes. She didn’t want it to end.

“When I’m with you I lose track of time, when I’m without you, you’re stuck in my mind. The cute, shy smile you had when you asked me, the half ponytail you wore, even the white sneakers you wear every time we hang outside. I know this is the end but know that I’ll never stop thinking about you, I’ll never stop loving you. You Honda Hitomi owned my heart the moment you pulled me into that aisle.”

Chaewon nuzzles her cheek into Hitomi’s palm, placing her own hand on “I don’t want to let you go” she whispers

She kissed Hitomi’s hand, cherishing this last moment they shared as lovers. She will miss the smell of her hair, the sound of her laugh whenever she said something cheesy, the smile Hitomi has when she calls her name.

“I know… but loving someone doesn’t always mean having to fight for them. Sometimes loving someone just means letting them go,” Hitomi smiles retracting her hand away from Chaewon’s cheek

“Don’t ever forget me Kim Chaewon. You know deep down I always hoped we were meant for each other. But don’t worry about me, okay? Treat Minju much better, all your failed date surprises make them work with Minju, make better dates with her okay? You were always the romantic type,” Hitomi said, with a small laughter

Her laughter easing Chaewon as they came in for one last hug before letting go of one another. They both knew one day they would find their soulmates, but they still took the risk, even hoped it would be the other. But they knew the next person will love the other more than they could, more than they could give. 

Yena stomped into her room, fuming that Hyewon hadn’t even considered talking to her or Yujin. Was she just going to ignore us until the trip ends? This wasn’t something she could run away from. Hell, they live in the same house they’d have to meet at some point. Might as well get it over with and tell her the reason why she did all of this. So why didn’t she?

Yena slammed the door shut, grabbing the closest pillow and throwing it at the wall. Screaming at the top of her lungs out of pure anger and frustration. She didn’t care if the rest heard her, she just wanted to talk to Hyewon; she just wanted to know why.

Falling onto the floor, dry from screaming at the top of her lungs. Punching the floor once in a fit of anguish and overwhelming realisation.

“Are you done?” Yuri whispered as she watched Yena from the door frame

Yena nodded her head, giving Yuri the cue that she was done throwing her fit. Yuri pulled the older into her arms, laying her head on her chest as she slowly caressed the top of her head. Yena immediately melting into her hold, wrapping her arms tightly around Yuri’s small waist.

“Why didn’t she tell me? I thought we were a lot closer than that. I thought we trusted each other with everything. Did I do something wrong?” Yena said mumbled into Yuri’s chest, her grip getting tighter with every word said

Yena rethought everything they did together. Were all of her jokes about Hyewon finding her soulmate too far? Did she say or do something that had caused Hyewon to be so distant from her? Maybe it was her being too much of a burden for Hyewon. How she always left all the serious things to Hyewon, letting her take all the responsibility while she went out and played with Yujin all those times all the times she skipped important family events to get a game that was recently released, letting Hyewon do all the work for the both of them.

Too naïve to see that Hyewon also had to take care of Yujin, only adding onto her work load. Times when she was too free spirited she should have stayed and helped Hyewon, whether or not she asked for it. How it was so easy for her to just brush everything off, knowing Hyewon could take care of everything. Was she too dependent on Hyewon that the girl ended up pushing her away; Hyewon became so independent she couldn’t recognise when she should ask for help from others…

Yuri hushes her pulling her into a tighter hug “Hey! Don’t say that,” she whispers into Yena’s ear, “It’s not your fault, I bet Hyewon doesn’t even blame you for anything”

Yena pulls away from Yuri, looking her in the eye, “So why does it feel like it is?”

There was a rawness in her voice that couldn’t hide the sadness in her voice. The huskiness in her voice more prominent than usual as her words got caught in . It broke Yuri’s heart, the desperation in Yena’s eyes. It was too much for her to handle. The news clearly struck her much more than Chaewon had intended.

The short time she knew Yena she could see how free spirited she was, how she went around in life without a care in the world. And how Hyewon tagged along, picking up the scraps Yena left behind. They were the perfect duo for one another, one who kept the other grounded to reality while the other showed the other the world past reality.

It was never easy for Hyewon to balance both Yujin and Yena. Taking care of such rowdy and free willed kids while having her own life, but she did; yet she lost herself somewhere along the process. She